Reckless

  My eyes stung. I threw his arm off me. "Damn it, Jax!" I cried, unable to stop a tear from falling down my cheek as I faced him. "The fire marshall came to talk to me! I had to make a choice."

  "What?" he said, his volume still elevated.

  I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand. "He said we had to either cut the Monster Inferno or pay an extra ten grand for ballistics insurance."

  The fire in his eyes waned. His brows furrowed. "The fuck?"

  "There wasn't time to check with you! I had to make a decision. And I did."

  He put his hand to his head and exhaled in a rush. "God. Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve changed the routine if I’d known."

  "I told the pyrotech, I thought he was going to tell you!"

  His hand covered his eyes and he shook his head. "Fuck."

  "I know," I said softly. "I’m sorry."

  "Jesus . . ." he said shaking his head lightly. "Ten grand for insurance? Really?"

  "Yeah."

  An uncomfortable silence passed between us that seemed to last an eternity. We’d apparently cleared up the miscommunication, but the damage had been done. It was obvious that the unspoken tension between us was becoming a problem—not just for me, but for him as well. It’d be easier for the both of us if we could end whatever this weird thing was between us and start over as professionals.

  "Jax, I've been thinking—"

  Strong arms wrapped around my body, pulling me into his Jax’s chest. My train of thoughts faltered. I could only think about how good it felt to be embraced in his arms. I could feel his warmth cocooning me, his beating chest pressed against my tear-stained cheek. It felt right, like the first thing in years that made sense in my chaotic life.

  He released the hug and looked down at me.

  "What was that for?" I asked, surprised.

  His dark eyes were gentle as they stared into mine. "I’m sorry for blaming you."

  I blushed. "Well, that's a nice gesture," I said, meaning it.

  He tilted his head and touched his lips tenderly to mine. Caught off guard, it took a second before I remembered that I owed him a post-show kiss. I began to reciprocate, pressing my lips softly against his. It was nearly the opposite of the lust-driven kiss we’d had last time. This one was almost scary in its intimacy.

  He gently pulled away. When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me, smiling. "I figured we could use it to smooth things over."

  I nodded, my mind still lingering on the tenderness of the kiss.

  He put his arm around my shoulder and exhaled deeply. "The others are at the after party. You can go if you want—no one's gonna hold it against you for having a drink or two—but it's been a long day for me. I'm going to relax in the hot tub."

  I sighed heavily, equally exhausted. "I think I'm just going to chill out as well. I'm wiped. Not really in the mood to party."

  "Join me then. We'll have our own low-key party."

  I glanced at the hot tub. I could practically hear the bubbles calling my name after such a long, emotionally-draining day. "Alright, lemme get changed."

  I returned to the sundeck dressed in my bikini. I’d run it under warm water this time, checking to make sure it didn’t bleed color, and thankfully it didn’t.

  I saw Jax leaning back in the hot tub, head resting on the edge with a wet hand towel folded over his eyes. There was a drink sitting on the side next to him.

  Although we’d made up, I couldn’t help feeling that there were still big problems between us. There was that pesky sexual tension, there was our growing intimacy, and there was my fear of getting hurt. Our make-up kiss had left me feeling even more confused and frustrated about all those things.

  I went to the bar to make myself a rum and coke. I was a bit concerned about sharing the hot tub with him, knowing what happened the last time one of us was in it, but seeing him relaxed—almost to the point of sleeping—put me at ease.

  I quietly slipped into the hot tub, careful not to disturb him. I watched him for a beat as I sipped on my drink, admiring the curves and edges of his bare torso. His chest was rising and falling in a slow rhythm, the dark lines of his tattoos making intricate swirls on his skin.

  As I sighed and leaned back in relaxation myself, I heard his arm lift from the edge and dip into the water. I watched as his hand moved down to his trunks.

  What's he doing?

  It was hard to see through the bubbles, but his motions looked suspicious. His forearm was flexed, and it was going up and down in short movements. No way. He couldn't be . . .

  His mouth opened and a soft groan escaped his lips.

  Oh my god! I quickly stood and splashed water at him. "What are you doing?!"

  He sat up, pulling the towel from his eyes. "What the fuck?" he said, looking groggy. "What's going on?"

  I turned the dial to lower the jets and pointed sternly toward his crotch. "What were you doing beneath the water?"

  His brows narrowed. "Nothing. I'm trying to relax. What are you getting so worked up for?"

  "You were jerking off weren't you?"

  His eyes widened. "Seriously? That's what you thought?" he said defensively. "I was just adjusting a wedge in my trunks. The jets were pushing into it."

  "Yeah, sure you were."

  He looked at me skeptically. "Wow. Are you really freaking out over a guy masturbating? I guess I don't know you as well as I thought." He reached down to his trunks again and this time I was able to clearly see how he was adjusting the wedge caused by the jets.

  "Oh puh-lease," I said, splashing a bit of water at him before I sat back down. "I'm not a prude if that's what you're suggesting. I was just caught off guard that's all."

  He leaned back with his hands behind his head, looking amused. "I just have that kind of effect on you don't I?"

  My ears perked up. The confidence with which he said those words hit a sensitive spot. Since day one of this tour, I’d been trying hard to conceal how much he actually affected me.

  "You so don't have an effect on me," I replied, flashing a smug smile and leaning back in relaxation with my hands behind my head like he did. "At least not anymore."

  His brow lifted. "Not anymore?"

  "Nope."

  He grinned. "Didn't figure you for a liar."

  Damn it. I didn’t like how accurate his read on me was.

  I took a deep breath. "You know . . . I probably shouldn't tell you this because I know it'll hurt your ego."

  His eyes narrowed. "Tell me what?"

  "Well, I hate to say this but I've seen you so often now that I've gotten used to you," I said as I idly put my hand against a jet stream to have it massage my palm. The jet felt good at first but after I quickly adapted to the sensation, it lost its soothing effect.

  "I don't think so," he said waving his hand dismissively. "You have the same feelings for me as you did that night we first met. Probably more."

  I shook my head lightly. "Nope. You know, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. But what they forget to say is: abundance makes the heart grow indifferent. And in this case, it only took about a week."

  His mouth curved in displeasure. "I don't believe you."

  "Doesn't matter what you believe. Facts are facts." I took a sip of my drink and vocalized my pleasure when I found it tasted better than I expected. "I imagine when you first brought me onto the bus, you thought we'd be honeymooning in Pound Town by now. But all you get is a pre-planned, negotiated kiss every now and then. You must be disappointed."

  He blinked rapidly for a moment. "Let's not forget that you're sleeping in my bed."

  "Keyword is 'sleeping'. And that's all we're doing. You might even call it 'friends without benefits'."

  He held up his hand like a stop sign. "Let me get this straight," he said in a serious tone. "You're saying you've 'friend-zoned' me?"

  I was surprised he even knew of that term. I couldn’t imagine a man as desirable as him would ever be put into the friend-zone.

  I sm
iled. "First time?"

  He sighed, clearly agitated. For a moment, he seemed to be thinking of something to say but instead he shook his head and reached for his drink. The fact that I was able to make him speechless emboldened me.

  "Don't get me wrong," I added, "I think you've still got the Jax Effect but it just doesn't work on me anymore. I'm immune to it."

  "You’re beginning to annoy me with your lies," he said. There was a small trace of uncertainty in his voice that I honed in on. I sensed that he cared about me much more than he was willing to admit.

  "In fact, maybe it's the other way around," I continued, "I'm the one who has the effect on you."

  "On me?" He shifted slightly. "You’re hot, I’ll give you that. But I think you’ve been drinking too much, you’re getting carried away here."

  "We both know it’s more than that. You’ve been sweeter to me than you probably realize. The way you kissed me a few minutes ago? I imagine it’s a first for you, going out of your way to please a girl." I flashed him a wide smile. "You might even call it the Riley Effect." With my hand, I motioned a whip then snapped it, making the appropriate sound with my mouth.

  "Alright," he grunted, "get out of my hot tub." He pointed toward the sundeck entrance. "I wanted to relax, but you're here stirring up trouble."

  "So you're admitting it?" I replied, my heart beginning to beat faster.

  "I'm not admitting shit," he said, raising his voice. His eyes pierced me, a dark warning that sent a flood of excitement through my body.

  "You're not denying it. So that must be an admission."

  "You're pushing it, Pepper," he warned.

  I knew I was crossing the line, but I couldn’t stop. Not now. Not after everything he put me through since we first met. Not after the mind-blowing kisses we’d had.

  "What? Your buttons? Welcome to my world."

  He bolted to his feet in the hot tub. "You want to see an effect?" he growled. "Then see it." He reached into his trunks and whipped out his cock. He started stroking himself in a leisurely rhythm, his member quickly turning into an impressive erection in front of me.

  I shot to my feet, appalled. "Fuck! I knew it! You were lying earlier."

  He shook his head, continuing to stroke himself. "You gave me this idea," he said, smiling. "And it was a good one."

  I angrily put my hands on my hips, preparing to get out. "You're unbelievable."

  "Guess I do have an effect on you after all," he said smugly. His hand stopped, and he tucked himself back in his trunks as he collapsed back into the hot tub. He pointed to the cabinet on the side with a grin on his face. "Hand me a towel before you leave, would you?"

  I had one foot out of the tub when I realized that Jax was just doing this to make me leave. I reached over for a towel and threw it at him before sitting back down in the water with my arms folded across my chest.

  "What are you doing?" he asked, setting the towel aside.

  I stared at him defiantly. "I'm not letting you kick me out of the hot tub."

  "Are you serious? I told you to leave."

  "Of course I’m serious. You can’t tell me what to do."

  His jaw tightened. "You know what I'm gonna do if you stay. You can't stop me."

  I knew I had him pinned as a sweet guy beneath that bad boy veneer. I’d seen it in the small ways he cared about me. I’d felt it in his lips.

  "Go ahead," I replied. "I'm calling you on your bluff."

  His eyes blazed with the same intensity as they had during our argument over the pyro. "I’m not bluffing, Pepper."

  I nodded at his elbows resting on the edge. "Then what are you waiting for? Show me."

  "I will," he growled.

  I watched in amazement as he yanked his trunks down and his still-erect cock sprung from its confines. The bulbous tip peeked above the surface of the water as he began to stroke himself.

  My pulse leaped. Eyes wide, I sucked in a sharp breath.

  He must’ve sensed my discomfort because he smiled. "Better leave," he purred darkly. "You don't want your boss to find out about this."

  Unable to look away, I continued watching him, watching as he stroked up and down slowly. My heart beat faster as my nipples tightened against my bikini. I couldn’t leave, I told myself. I couldn’t let him kick me out. I couldn’t let him win.

  I swallowed and lifted my eyes to meet his. "I'm not telling him and neither are you."

  His jaw tightened. The pace of his hand increased as his gaze moved to my chest. "You think I'm thinking about you while I do this?" he grunted, staring so hard at my bikini that he could’ve burned a hole in it. "I'm not."

  "Oh, you're thinking about me," I countered, knowing that he must be able to see the hardness of my nipples through the bikini fabric. I stared back, mesmerized by the head of his cock roiling the surface of the water. My thighs pressed together as a dull throbbing began to form between them. The water seemed to be getting hotter, and combined with the alcohol I’d been drinking, it was getting difficult to think straight.

  He shook his head. "I'm thinking about those twins from before."

  My heart skipped, remembering the groupies he’d compared me to. "No, you're not."

  "I've been thinking about them for a while," he said through gritted teeth, his strokes getting longer and faster. "Next time I'm in New York—"

  "You're lying," I shot, the heat of the water and the fire in my body making me touchy.

  "The truth hurts, huh?"

  "Shut up."

  His scorching gaze was fixed to my body, turning me on unbelievably. I could see it in his eyes, in the way he was stroking himself. He was imagining himself inside me.

  "I'm gonna give it to them. Rough. Hard." His voice was strained, a raspy snarl barely concealing his desire. "I've wanted to do it ever since I saw them. All this time. All this fucking time."

  My breaths came shallow. I could feel it billowing inside me: anger and lust violently clashing together, melding into a destructive torrent of carnal desire.

  "You'll be thinking of me, tonight," he growled. "Thinking 'til you're blue."

  "You're so frustrating." The words tumbled softly out of my mouth. With Jax pleasuring himself right in front of me and me being already half-naked, the pent-up sexual energy I’d suppressed over the past week was growing dangerously strong, threatening to burst.

  "We could end this, Riley," he offered. "I know exactly how you’re feeling—you’re suffering. Let’s cut the bullshit and end this torture for the both of us."

  I was vaguely aware of my body shifting so that the jets began to hit against my inner thigh. My body was screaming to be satisfied. Blood was pounding in my ears. It was taking all my strength not to rip off my top and bottom and jump onto his lap.

  "No," I said stubbornly.

  He licked his lips. "I'm gonna enjoy it. Making you sexually frustrated. All that tension, and no release."

  The way his tongue brushed against his lips and the way he teased me with his words ignited the yearning inside me like gasoline poured onto a flame. My fingers curled against the acrylic seat, my need for release so strong it was physically painful. "So what?" I replied, my voice coming weak. "You think I'll have sex with you?"

  "It'll keep building," he bit out. "Your stubbornness is gonna lead you to give in to me. I couldn’t have planned something better."

  I swallowed hard as the inescapability of his words sank in. "You think you have it all worked out, don’t you?" I struggled.

  He began to stroke himself from the base of his penis to the swollen tip, showing me how deep he was imagining himself plunging into me. The visual was so intense I could almost feel it, feel him burrowing inch-by-inch into sensitive, nerve-laden flesh. My toes curled painfully. My heart was beating so fast I could hardly breathe. One by one cracks were spreading throughout the walls I’d built to contain my desire. I’d wanted to prove I could resist. To Jax. To Jen. And most of all to myself. But I couldn’t hold it back any longer. With a f
inal shaky breath, I let it all crumble.

  "Then watch me destroy your plans." I slipped my hand into my bathing suit and pressed my fingers to my clit, tending to the ache that threatened to consume me.

  "No, stop." His fiery eyes became dark.

  I shook my head, my breaths coming back and fast, pleasure coursing through my veins in powerful bursts.

  His lust-filled eyes were frantic. "Stop it, Riley," he cried. His fist tightened around his cock and his strokes took on a feverish pace.

  His warnings spurred me. I bucked my hips into my fingers defiantly. My fingers quickened their pace, rubbing wild circles, shooting bolts of desire through my tense body. I watched as Jax’s movements grew frenetic, thrashing the water more fiercely than the jets around us. The sight of him losing control sent me reeling. I felt myself sliding from my seat, sinking deeper into the hot tub until my knees knocked against his.

  "Now you're thinking about me," I panted, my vision getting blurry and my head barely above the water.

  He stared at my gyrating hips with half-lidded eyes, a painful expression marring his gorgeous face. "You think that affects me?" he bit out, his voice hoarse with lust.

  "You think you affect me?" I growled through gnashed teeth, my own voice dripping with desire. I closed my eyes, drinking in the sounds of Jax’s pleasure.

  Armed with the image of his long, thick cock, I plunged my fingers inside myself. "Oh god," I moaned, unable to help myself.

  "Fuck," he cried. I could hear him sucking in air behind clenched teeth. "Fuck, that’s beautiful."

  His knees pressing against mine widened, spreading me as he spread himself. I opened my eyes to gaze at him and saw he was sinking deeper into the hot tub like me. The tortured expression on his face looked like he was teetering on the edge of agony and bliss.

  Suddenly, Jax scrambled to his feet, rising out of the water with his rigid member in hand. Droplets of water fell from the lines of his cut pelvis as he reached frantically for the towel nearby, held it in front of the tip of his penis, and turned around. The sight of his perky ass clenching as he climaxed sent me tumbling over the edge. I came in a flurry, my cries of ecstasy melding with Jax’s. My eyelids lowered over the sight of him hunched forward, his butt sporadically flexing as his orgasm sputtered to its eventual end.