The Tenth Life of Mr. Whiskers

  Chapter 2

  Laney walked over to the lump of gray-striped fur on the floor and nudged it with the toe of her shoe. It didn’t make a sound or rouse from sleep. Her heart dropped. The poor thing must’ve gotten trapped in the room before Mrs. Burns left for her trip.

  “That sucks.” Kody’s voice was muffled under the crook of his arm.

  “But you can heal him, can’t you?” Hope raised her voice an octave as she faced him. There should be something in that book he bought that could help.

  “Sorry, but no.” He coughed and gagged as he gazed around the room with squinted eyes. “Let’s get some air in here.”

  She barely noticed the window because of the huge plant that sat in front. It took both of them to scoot the thing out of the way, and about a minute after that just to untangle it from her hair. Long, curly tendrils grew around the base of the bud and spread out like fingers. She could’ve sworn it purposely wrapped itself in her blond curls and pulled her closer.

  “This is incredible,” Kody said, gazing around the room. “Hey, is that weed?”

  Following his line of sight, Laney finally got a good look at the room. Against the walls were various species of plant life, complete with an irrigation system and grow lights shining from the ceiling. Some of the plants were believed to be extinct and most were illegal to possess. Just thinking about all the potions that could be brewed with any one of the plants made her pulse race.

  But the stench still lingered thick in the humid air, curdling her stomach. “Let’s get out before I toss my cookies.” She stepped around the dead cat and followed Kody out to the living room. “Now what are we gonna do?”

  “What do you mean we?”

  Panic slowly crept up her body and invaded her chest. “You’re not going to bail on me now, are you? If you didn’t find the note, I could be home right now, completely oblivious with a solid case of ignorance.”

  “But Mr. Whiskers would still be dead.”

  She plopped onto the couch and dropped her head into her hands. An innocent cat had spent its last life and it was all her fault. The guilt gripped her heart and squeezed. She’d never killed anything before.

  The cushion dipped next to her when Kody sat down. “It’ll be fine. What’s the worst that could happen? You lose your job, or you get arrested for animal cruelty.” He patted her back while clearing his throat. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

  She glanced at the door, wishing that what lay beyond was all in her imagination. “There goes Europe,” she mumbled.

  Maybe the scent from one of the plants caused hallucinations. No, she wasn’t that lucky. Breathing in deep, she rose, knowing she needed to clean up her mess. “I need to at least pick it up and put it in something.”

  “I’ll help,” Kody said as he got up and walked to the hallway. “Then maybe we could go out for coffee.”

  “Um…Okay.” She paused, wondering why he was being so nice but then decided she’d figure it out later.

  After searching all the closets, no make-shift coffin could be found. All the boxes from the last store delivery had already been destroyed. Just as Laney was about to grab a garbage bag as a last resort, Kody popped up from below the kitchen counter holding a plastic container. “Here you go.” It even had a green, sealable top.

  Her gaze traveled from the smirk on his face, to the Tupperware in his hand and back again. “Are you serious?”

  “Why not?” he said, peeling off the lid. “There’s plenty of room and it’s designed to keep freshness in. We should all be so lucky to be buried in something so nice.”

  “Don’t you know how crazy women can be about their Tupperware? My mom grounded me for a week because I accidently melted her gigantic bowl when a spell went horribly wrong.”

  He grabbed some paper towels and lined the bottom of the bowl. “Happy?”

  “No,” she said, rubbing her temples in a desperate attempt to keep the oncoming headache at bay. “Nothing about this situation makes me happy.” Tossing the bag on the table, she shrugged. “But I don’t have a better idea. Let’s go get Mr. Whiskers.”

  Before she entered the room, she grabbed a pair of oven mitts off the stove. Just because she felt bad for the cat, didn’t mean she wanted to touch it. They kneeled next to the corpse, Laney with her mitts on one side, Kody and the plastic coffin on the other. Just the sight of Mr. Whiskers brought tears to her eyes.

  “Shouldn’t we say something?” she asked.

  “Um, sure.” He set the bowl down and folded his hands in his lap, head bowed. After clearing his throat, he began. “Mr. Whiskers was a cat. Not just any cat, but a pet to a lonely, old woman. No, not just a pet, but a companion, a best friend, family.”

  She swallowed around the lump of guilt lodged in her throat as her eyes filled with tears. Did he have to rub it in?

  “And, yay, as we walk through the valley of death…” he continued as if channeling a televangelist minister.

  “You know,” she interrupted. “I think we’re good.” She wiped her eyes with the heel of the mitts. Any more from him and she’d be sobbing like baby. “Why don’t you hold the box behind it and I’ll just roll it in.”

  Kody nodded and angled the opening of the container at the cat’s back.

  Mr. Whiskers wasn’t stiff, but slack and droopy when she nudged his leg. A delicate touch was required. Gently, she shimmied her mitt covered hands underneath the body and tipped it over into the waiting bowl. It didn’t quite fit; little legs poking out over the side.

  Kody gasped. “It couldn’t be.” He stared down at a group of red paint spots on the newly exposed side of the cat. “It’s El Diablo. I shot it with my paint gun last weekend. It was stalking my little sister. That’s the cat attacking kids all over town.” He raised his head and looked her in the eye. “And you killed him.” A smile spread across his face. “You, my friend, are freaking awesome!”

  Time seemed to slow as she examined the cat. El Diablo was a menace in Salmagundi but she’d never gotten a good look at him before. She was usually too busy running for cover whenever she heard its terrorizing growl. But once, when she peeked over her shoulder as she dashed inside her car, she noticed that the tip of its tail was completely white.

  She picked up Mr. Whiskers tail and held it up; white fur covered the end. Relief and elation flooded her body and she struggled to suppress the shout of glee crawling out her throat. Never again would she, or anyone else, fear being pounced on and mauled by sharp claws while walking down the street.

  Kody lowered his head and stretched his arms to the floor in front of her. “All hail to Laney. The wicked cat is dead,” he repeated as he bowed before her.

  Enjoying the attention, she let him continue for a few more rounds before stopping him. “That’s enough. Now you’re just embarrassing me.” She picked up the bowl and walked from the room. The high from knowing she vanquished the mighty El Diablo faded as reality set in. Slumping onto a barstool, she eyed the dead animal. It may have been evil incarnate, but it was still her boss’s pet. Mrs. Burns might not be as thrilled as they were.

  “I can’t believe Mrs. Burns could own such an awful cat,” she said.

  Kody followed her to the kitchen and leaned against the breakfast bar across from her. “Well, they say pets take after their owners. Does your boss lure little kids into her bookstore and then roast them in her oven? Maybe she has some leftovers.”

  He pulled the refrigerator door open and peeked inside. A grin spread across his face as he reached in and pulled out a can of Mountain Dew. “Anyway, I wouldn’t be surprised if the mayor throws a parade in your honor.”

  “Help yourself,” she said, watching him pop the top and take a swig. “Really, a parade?”

  He shrugged as he sat on the seat next to her. “Alright, a parade may be a bit much. But when everyone finds out what you did—“

  “What? No. No one can find out, especially Mrs. Burns. She’ll fire me for sure.” She shot up from
her seat and paced the room. “But of course she’s going to find out. I was supposed to feed her cat and when she comes home to find her cat is now better suited as a doorstop than a lap warmer...” She stopped and plopped back down in her seat. “I don’t suppose you know anyone who’s hiring?”

  Kody watched as she dropped her head on the counter. “What if Mrs. Burns never found out you killed her cat?”

  Intrigued, and mildly desperate, she lifted her head and looked at him. “What do you mean? I don’t think she’d buy a kitty suicide story.”

  He rolled his eyes. “You’re a witch, aren’t you? Can’t you spell her memory to think it died before she left? Or, I don’t know, hocus pocus another cat to look just like it?”

  Her blood raced with excitement. Why hadn’t she thought of that? “That’s it.” She dashed out the door, grabbing her bag off the office desk as she flew through the stockroom.

  “Hey, wait up,” he shouted as he chased her down the stairs, his cane pounding on the wood with every step. “Where are you going?”

  Laney stopped at the front door. Impatience itched under her skin, making her bounce in her shoes as she waited for him to catch up. Before her was an opportunity to try some fun spells. Her stomach twisted knowing that failure was not an option, especially in front of Kody.

  “There’s usually a pack of stray cats in the back alley. I can grab one to use as a substitute.” She locked the door behind them and took off down the block, trotting sideways on her tip toes with her back along the building. She stopped at the end and peered around the corner.

  “You look like a cartoon character when you do that,” he said, stopping next to her to catch his breath.

  Her voice a harsh whisper, she said, “Shhh. I don’t want to scare them away.”

  There were four cats roaming the alley next to Chung Fao’s restaurant, sniffing empty take-out containers and pawing at rotten food. The one sitting on a pile of cardboard boxes caught her attention immediately. It was about the right size and coloring already. She pointed at the cat and whispered, “That’s the one. Stay here while I get it.”

  Thankful she didn’t throw away the other half of today’s lunch, she grabbed the sandwich from her backpack and pulled out the bologna.

  “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

  His question hung in the air, unanswered, as she crept down the alley. The funk of day old Chow Mein assaulted her nose as she ventured deeper. Her foot slipped, but she caught herself before she fell.

  The cat in question eyed her with its ears plastered to its head, hissing.

  “Here kitty, kitty.” Bologna held out in front, she inched closer, one careful step at a time. Normally, she would quit at seeing the cat’s arched back and sharp teeth as it hissed at her, but she was on a mission. All she had to do was touch the cat and she could stun it with a spell. She reached out her free hand.

  The cat swiped her knuckles.

  She flinched but didn’t back down. While shaking the meat-like substance near its face to distract it, she touched its chest and released the spell in a whispered word: Placidus. Immediately, the cat went limp and fell into her waiting arms.

  “Did you kill that one, too?” Kody joked as she approached.

  “No,” she scoffed. “It’s just asleep.”

  He petted the cat’s head, pulling its eyes open. Then he ran his hand over the cat’s ribs, lingering a moment as Laney cradled it in her arms. Seemingly satisfied that the cat was still among the living, he nodded. “That was cool. Now what?”

  “We go upstairs to make a few alterations and then viola, a new Mr. Whiskers.” They made their way back into the closed bookstore and then the apartment. Setting the unconscious feline on the floor, she motioned to the bowl of dead cat on the counter with a nod of her head. “Can you bring the original over? And a pair of tongs.”

  “Why do you need those?” he asked as he rifled through the drawers, slamming each one shut before throwing open the next.

  “I need to turn him over to see what his belly looks like and I don’t want to touch him. Duh.”

  A moment later, he set the bowl next to her along with a pair of salad spoons. “This was all I could find.”

  After dumping Mr. Whiskers out, she used the utensils to ease the cat onto its back. Looking at its face made her queasy, so she kept her focus on the body. Mr. Whiskers #1 had a black front paw and a splash of white on the tip of the tail. Otherwise, the two looked nearly identical. This was going to be easier than she thought. Now, if she could only remember the exact wording of the spell. Her cousin taught her how to change the color of her hair a couple years ago. Though she’d never tried it on cat fur, it should work just as well, right?

  Scooting closer to Mr. Whiskers #2, she touched his front paw, which twitched on contact. Holding the foot firmly in her grasp, she closed her eyes and concentrated on darkening the fur to a nice raven black. “Coma pullus,” she whispered. Her hand tingled as her magic flooded to her palm and out to the cat. A small smile tugged her lips at the tickling sensation. After a moment, her magic receded and she opened her eyes and hand to check out her work. Her eyes practically bulged out of their sockets at the sight. “Oh, no.”

  “I think you might’ve overdone it,” Kody chimed in. The cat was completely black.

  She sighed as she rubbed her temples, thinking of the incantation to reverse what she did. After searching her brain and possibly coming up with the right spell, she laid her hand across its back and spoke. “Deatuse.”

  Right in the middle of sending her magic forth, the cat rolled over, breaking her concentration. Now, instead of a black cat asleep on the floor, a black cat with white polka dots purred on the carpet.

  A bark of laughter escaped Kody’s throat.

  Heat crept up her neck to the tips of her ears. Couldn’t she do anything right?

  The laughter faded away as he sobered. “Sorry, but you got to admit it’s pretty funny. You can start a new trend: Polka Dotted Pets. You can make a killing. Get it? A killing?” At the sight of her face, he sighed. “Nevermind.”

  Despite being totally depressed, she couldn’t help but grin. Okay, he has a sense of humor. A little twisted, but definitely there.

  “Don’t give up now. Try again.”

  Not having anything to lose, she drew in a deep breath and laid her hand on the cat. This time when she took her hand away, the cat was covered in leopard spots.

  Kody snorted. “Not even close.”

  Huffing, she tried again—cow print.

  And again—neon pink cotton candy.

  And again—Velcro fur. It took them ten minutes just to pry it from the carpet.

  “Ugh,” she screamed.

  Kody was in danger of getting a hernia from laughing so hard. Either that or she’d hex him right between the eyes.

  Gritting her teeth, she concentrated and sent her magic out for one last attempt. When she finally dared to see what she created, tears flooded her eyes.

  “At least it has stripes,” Kody offered.

  The poor cat looked like a fluffy, little zebra. “At least it isn’t covered in feathers.”

  “What?”

  “Nothing.” She fell backwards on the floor in defeat. She really was lame.

  Kody’s gaze shifted from one cat to the other. His head tilted to the side as he studied each one. “Do you notice a fundamental difference between the two cats?”

  She scrubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands to clear her vision and then sat up. At first, she didn’t notice any difference aside from the coloring. Then she saw it, or didn’t, as the case may be. “Who names a female cat Mr. Whiskers?”

  “Maybe it’s just neutered.” Kody sat back in the recliner, nonchalantly crossing his legs.

  “No problem. I can just hex those off. My cousin also taught me a spell to… What are you doing?”

  Kody leapt from the chair and fell to his knees next to the sleeping cat. He scooped it up and then limped
to the door without his cane. “No way are you messing with his junk. That’s just wrong.”

  “Wait, what am I going to do without a new Mr. Whiskers?” she called to his retreating back. Guys were so sensitive. She flopped back into the recliner Kody abandoned, landing on something hard. A woman’s scream erupted from every corner of the room, blasting Laney’s heart into her throat. She croaked out a scream and jumped out of the seat, frantically searching around the room for an intruder. Only when her gaze finally landed on the turned-on tv was she able to breathe again. After lowering the volume, she slumped back into the seat and waited for her heartbeat to return to a healthy level. Not only did Mrs. Burns invest in top-notch surround sound, but she was apparently going deaf.

  Now what could she do to keep her job? Her dream of seeing the Mona Lisa up close was quickly fading. She stared vacantly at the monster movie playing on the screen as she plotted her next move.

  Eventually, Kody came back, sans cat. He snatched his cane from where he left it by the chair and then went and sat on the couch. His expression was calm as he watched the movie.

  “I wasn’t going to hurt him, you know. Just a little—”

  “Don’t talk about it,” he said with his hand up, as if he could physically shut her up from across the room.

  It was going to be near impossible to find another cat now. Would he chase the other strays away like some PETA-loving protestor if she went searching again? “Your mom isn’t going to be worried about you, is she? You can go home if you need to.”

  “Don’t worry, I already called. I’m not going anywhere while a castration happy witch is around. We dudes got to stick together. I’m watching you.” His dark eyes seared into hers. He meant business.

  He’s stubborn, too.

  She suppressed the moan swelling in her throat. If he was on guard duty, she couldn’t go find another cat. What else could she do? Maybe she should just tell her boss the truth? No, that was the last resort. There had to be something else she could do. The movie played across her vision as her subconscious got busy finding the answer to her problem.

  An image of Mr. Whiskers strapped to a table with electrodes hooked to its head flashed in her mind, just like in the movie. She laughed. “That’s what I need, a secret lab and a lightning storm.”

  Kody joined in with a chuckle. With a bad German accent, he said, “I can be your assistant, doctor.”

  “You’d make a perfect Igor. You already have the funny walk down.” She laughed harder at his mock glare. After a minute, her side ached but she couldn’t stop. The image wouldn’t leave her head.

  “Too bad you’re not a necromancer,” he said with a laugh.

  Her laughter faded away as her brain kicked into gear. “Actually, my great-great-great grandmother was a necromancer. So that makes me, like, one-sixteenth or something, right?” Pictures of a really old book about spirits and communicating with the dead flashed in her head. Mrs. Burns kept it locked in the safe behind the front counter. Her heart pounded as her hopes were renewed.

  “Yeah, I don’t think it works that way.” He scooted to the edge of the couch and watched as she paced back and forth. “You’re starting to scare me.”

  “How will we know if we don’t try? I think I can do this.” She darted for the door, determined to find that book.

  “Now where are you going?” Moments later, his cane pounded on the steps behind her.

  She dialed the knob—80-9-22—unlocking the safe.

  “Are you going to tell me what’s up?” Kody’s voice was winded from chasing her.

  The book sat on the bottom, under the sales ledger and Mrs. Burns’ first edition copy of The Count of Monte Cristo. Gently pulling the spell book out, she screamed with delight. “What’s up is I’m going to bring Mr. Whiskers back.”

  His face scrunched up as he peered from her face to the book and back again. Then he laughed. “That’s a good one. You almost had me going there.”

  She pushed past him and set the book down at a table as she slid into a wooden chair. “I’m serious. This book is all about death and spirits and stuff. I’m sure there has to be something about bringing a soul back to its body.” She ran her finger down the table of contents searching for a spell even remotely helpful.

  He sat in the chair next to her, shaking his head. “You can’t be serious. Everyone is better off with that nuisance dead. And you want to bring it back?”

  She stopped her search to stare at him. “How else am I going to keep my job? Besides, maybe coming back from the dead will change Mr. Whiskers for the better.”

  “Even if that happens, do you really think this is a good idea? This is some serious magic you’re talking about and I don’t think your one-sixteenth necromancer blood is going to be enough.”

  “It’ll be fine. I am a witch, after all. All I have to do is follow the directions.” At the bottom of the index, one spell looked promising.

  “Here it is!” She flipped through the pages until she came to the one she wanted. It would only last for twenty-four hours, but that was enough time for her needs. She read silently to herself as Kody stretched his neck to read, too. “Has the body been dead for less than a week? Yes. Ceremonial candles? I’m sure Mrs. Burns has some upstairs.” She read down the requirements, getting more and more excited as she checked off items she needed.

  One aspect made her stop and frown. “When’s the next full moon?”

  “Next Monday. Why?”

  “Because I need to perform the spell under a full moon to have the best chance of healing the body. Mrs. Burns comes home tomorrow, so I have to do this tonight.” She bit her bottom lip as she contemplated whether that one little detail was going to stop her. “Oh well, I guess it’s close enough.” Her leg bobbed against the floor as she read over the incantation. It would be difficult, but what did she have to lose?

  “I don’t know. There are some things you should just leave alone, like the dead. Why don’t we bury it and then hit the diner for some eats?”

  Her excitement dimmed as she studied the worry etched in his forehead. She twisted in her seat so her knees pressed against his. “What’s the worst that can happen if it doesn’t work? Mr. Whiskers will still be dead. I can’t very well kill it again, right? I’m going to do this with or without your help.”

  He stared at her for the longest moment before he finally nodded. “Then I’m helping you.”

  A puff of dust lifted into the air when she slammed the book shut. She grinned. “In a few hours, I’ll have given a kitty a tenth life.”