The legacy

  Simon let himself go and uncontrollable weeping round the friend's belly that. Vented all his sadness, to find the strength to tell her everything. In the end, and lifted his face, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, took a deep breath. He met the gaze of Erika and found courage in anger and determination that you read.

  "Did he ... raped? "suggested Erika, unable to restrain himself as well. Had not heard from Simon and Fabrizio from the day after Valentine's Day and had no idea what evolution had known of their relationship. Since the beginning, however, had not imagined anything positive or otherwise shared his point of view.

  "No," immediately calmed the Simona, who refrained from adding a "worse", which would have shaken Erika earlier than necessary. He needed to find a friend's rationality does not hold and let go. "There are a lot of things happened in these weeks and ... I do not know ... "

  "Explain" he invited Erika. "Come upstairs and tell me everything, you'll see him settle that animal."

  "No, I do not want them to see me ..." Simon objected.

  "I'm home alone, quiet." Erika dedicated a great smile and the very reassured. A little '.

  "But you were going ... If you have to do is ... "

  "None of what I do is as important to hear what you have to say" he assured her, happy that at last the wheel of life he had shown side by side, as it should be written somewhere in the sky. He had lived days of intense loneliness after the first moments of anger, and in more than one occasion was about to occur by Simona and apologize for having misjudged, despite remained convinced of what he had said. But the affection he felt for her could justify a waiver of any position.

  "Thanks," Simon murmured, moved. It was difficult to count on a friend like Erika, ready to go over everything and pick up where he left off as if nothing had happened. He had reserved words of fire, after all, discarding it as an old shoe after having fallen in love with Fabrizio.

  "Duty," joked Erika, walking up the stairs and supporting the arm.

  ***

  Seats comfortably at the kitchen table in the apartment of Erika, she and Simon spoke at length before a couple of cups of hot tea. Under the eyes of her friend, which grew more and more amazed, Simon recounted how, after he realized he was late, he had suspected pregnancy. He explained the confession with his mother and embarrassment that had preceded it, pausing to observe what would have been easier just to confide with Erika.

  "I'd be happy to welcome you and listen," he said.

  "I know, but how could I introduce myself to you after what I told you?"

  "Listen, really, have you ever thought for a moment, a moment that we had really broken forever? After all there was between us, we've known all his life, did not believe that at the first sign of approaching one of the other two would melt? "

  Simon thought, with a sad look. "No," he revealed. Erika was flabbergasted. "Let me explain. I was like ... Fabrizio me as a bewitched, mesmerized. Remember how I reacted to the first night we saw, to ' Omnia ? "

  "Sure. One of the last times I saw the real Simon, before today. "

  "Right, you said well, the real me. Because from the time that I met in the square has changed everything, I myself can not say in words what I got. Now I see more clearly, like looking one that was not me, and I understand your reaction when you heard that I'd gone to bed after even a week. "

  Erika was silent.

  "For me there was nothing but him and at times became a necessity so strong that I thought I might die if I had not seen or touched. This feeling has come up on the evening of Valentine's Day, when it happened that mess, and unfortunately led me to argue with you, because I was still ... possessed. However, this is not, unfortunately. "

  Erika grew closer, preparing to hear the worst part of the story.

  Simon had decided to keep for themselves some special little digestible, at least for the time necessary to fully accept herself. So he said he had done a pregnancy test and have obtained almost sure to expect a child, news that Erika gave birth on the face of a measured joy, soon damped by the reflections that were in tow.

  "Then I decided to tell everything to Fabrizio," he explained. "At that moment I felt very attracted less than the first day, let's just love. I was sure he would have reacted badly but a small part of me hoped he was happy and decided to share this experience with me. "

  "But ...?" Urged the Erika, unconsciously clenching his fists.

  Simon hesitated, looking down. "I take it for silly, but I do not remember what happened. It must have been awful, though, because I ... dreamed, the night after that day, terrible things. I think ... I think that Fabrizio has reacted badly and caused me to hit the ground or otherwise, making abortion. "

  "What a piece of ..." snapped Erika. "But then ... you've lost blood? You have to go to the emergency ... "

  "No, no, I ... that is the problem, I did not have any effect, I do not know if it was too early or what, do not know anything, the fact is that before I was pregnant and after I was not more. "

  "Sorry, but I know there's always a warning. And then you go to the hospital ... type, clean up, I do not know. "

  "Yes, yes, but ..."

  "Sure you did the test to be valid?"

  "Certainly, yes. Absolutely sure, I found the courage to ask the pharmacist and told me that the Predictor is the most reliable. And beyond the test I knew she was pregnant. Likewise, after the reaction of Fabrizio knew not to do this more. "

  "I ..." Erika was embarrassed. "I would not seem ... I would not start a fight right now we're together again, then know that I do not want to offend you, but ... you can not ... I mean, you should at least feel specialists and ... "

  «Erika» Simona had become very grave.

  "Yes?" She said, almost frightened.

  "Do you trust me? In the name of friendship that has always connected, you trust me? "

  Erika pondered the answer. "Yes."

  "I went to a specialist, a gynecologist. Ten days ago, with my mother, after I said the same things I said to you. I have visited and concluded that I have never been pregnant, let alone abortion, of course. "

  "But then ..."

  "But if you trust me believe me when I say that I was pregnant and that Fabrizio has made ​​me lose the baby. This is why I came here to you, because it remained like my last hope of salvation before the madness. After the visit to the gynecologist my mom ended the conversation and told me not to talk about it more, otherwise it would cease to be so complicit and would tell my dad what I had done ... this point or what not I had done. But I know what I heard and I know what I experienced. No coincidence that Fabrizio was gone that day, I have not seen or called me. And just because I am sure of my version of events could not stay with my heart in peace, I even slept in the nights, so strong was the thought. I need someone to believe me, give me confidence in the word, because I realize that the facts are all against me. And that someone can be just you and never will be anyone. "

  Erika could not find words to comment.

  "Can you help me be happy? You can really help to put aside the story, letting you find peace and security for having lived a terrible experience, but will not be repeated ever again? "

  Erika Simon saw how he had always known had changed radically in a short time. Was gained as a woman marked by time and experience. And yet asked for a difficult test of trust and friendship, as a little girl who did not want to admit to herself that Santa was not actually an uncle in disguise. But true friendship is seen also and especially on occasions like that.

  "I believe you," he promised, thinking it would be time in the future to help her to reflect and re-evaluate his position, certainly resulting from disappointment at the loss of Fabrizio. "Thanks," said Simon, beginning to cry with emotion.

  BRIDGE

   

   " N on I must admit that I have left many questions. "

  This was the first comment after Roberto Erika had finished telling his version of history, purged from the
same details that Simon had failed twenty-two years before and had never resurfaced.

  In the kitchen, the temperature was increasing to reach peak unbearable but neither seemed to mind. Both were sweating profusely, but their concentrations were still on the blocks that, one by one, they were going to compose the mosaic of the true story of Simon and unearthing truths that could prove crucial to understanding the causes of his untimely death.

  "The same goes for me," Erika agreed. "Except that I had twenty years to try and steal the answers to my best friend, to no avail. And at times it was really frustrating. "

  "Why did not he ever talk about anything?" Roberto continued, as if thinking aloud, and he had not heard the last words of Erika. He stared at his hands clasped on the table surface. "I understand in the early days, the pain was still pretty cool ... but we stayed together all these years, we shared everything, we never had secrets ... I could help her overcome the difficulty. "

  "I think that Simon had surpassed himself, by putting it after a few days. It's always been good at that sort of thing. "

  "And I, I never noticed anything," continued Robert. "For me, Simon was the happiest person in the world, to live so excited that I could involve in the worst moments, when I fell down on him. It was a trascinatrice, a ... »

  Erika nodded vigorously, her eyes became more lucid and his mouth would begin to tremble.

  "How could you live with this burden? A swallow such an experience and continue to love life? "

  "I told you, Simon was good, was strong. And where his personality did not come, surely you've helped you and your children. I always spoke of you and I can consider myself as your friend because ... Well, I hear praise for twenty years and a few less are aware of what happens to Christina and Matthias. You were perfect for her, all of them. The realization of his dream. That was so satisfied with her life because she had finally found what he sought. At the point of forgetting the child he had lost. "

  "So, in conclusion, it was really pregnant?" Asked Roberto cast, managing to hinder those words with tears that his words had called Erika.

  Erika sighed, shaking his head. "That day, when I spoke, I thought not. And for all the years to follow not changed my mind. A pregnancy test can easily give a false positive result, especially at that time but a gynecologist ... and then it is impossible to have an abortion without consequences. My idea is that Simon had placed so many hopes in its history with Fabrizio to dream of being able to always stay with him. And in his dreams, lack of menstruation was necessarily linked to pregnancy, as the icing on the cake. He must have had the misfortune of getting a wrong result or perhaps the test has performed badly. And after speaking of what he found to Fabrizio and his indifference to his dream was shattered and he unconsciously turned into a nightmare, convinced that that child would have his dream of love was lost forever. He said that Fabrizio gliel'aveva did lose, but she said she did not remember whether she had been pushed or beaten by him, so the sermon did not hold. "

  "Have you ever tried to reason with Simon?"

  "One time I tried to raise the issue, to see if the weather had brought clarity in thought. It must have been six or seven years ago, on the phone - since you moved here, we have seen very little in person. Do not remember how we went about the speech, but the exposure of my ideas, more or less like I did with you. "

  "E. ..?"

  "And I slammed the phone in my face and not felt for almost three months. I tried many times to recall, but not answering the phone and pretended that someone had the wrong number, if by chance lifted the phone at home. "

  Robert nodded, remembering a time when the phone calls of people who had grown strangely wrong number.

  "Fortunately, in the end he accepted my apology and I do not ventured over to touch the topic. After all those years, the wound was still fresh and not worth burning it further. I had no idea how Simon could be irremovable although no longer a girl, but it was. Must have been profoundly affected. "

  "And Fabrizio? What happened? "Asked Robert, opening his arms. It was the last of the questions that remained. There was a sense of what had felt until then, not with a view to discover more about the death of his wife. He did not understand how an alleged abortion that occurred three years before he and Simon knew it could be connected to a car accident and listed as the probable accidental pregnancy of his daughter Christina.

  "Actually, we never saw him again. Out of curiosity, I asked often to other acquaintances if they had never heard of it but it was as if it had appeared from nowhere and returned to his place after his performance a bastard. Likely to come from far away, maybe it was a college student and after graduating moved. On the one hand it was fortunate that Simon did not rivedesse, but personally I wanted to lay hands on him. "

  "So," continued Roberto tone final "end of the story. Simon thought she was pregnant and lost the baby because of this guy who then disappeared from circulation. I kept it hidden. So why suddenly he felt in danger, as I said on the phone in the days before the accident? And what does that Christine? "

  Erika shook her head. "I was hoping to hear something more to tell you but apparently Simon was very private. Maybe he did not want to involve you. "

  "Involve me in what?" Urged the Roberto.

  "No matter what the freaking same. The incident, perhaps, "suggested Erika.

  "Which brings us to doubt that the incident was not random but that there is someone behind it. On what basis you say? The police did not find anything, no anomaly. "

  "I do not know ..." Erika surrendered.

  "Could not we just think that Simon was worried because he had seen some signs of Cristina's secret? Because, apparently, Cristina Simona same might be pregnant and you have confessed to have this fear. It could ... In short, it is easy to make the connection: may have revised our daughter and herself in the mind to be back with his experience. Cristina loved so much that he would never have tolerated that happen the same thing had happened to her. Perhaps he was simply afraid that Daniel escaped as Fabrizio had escaped. "

  "But this ..."

  "But that would explain everything. He had quarreled with Cristina, that had caused her more stress, more thoughts, but as always was very good at not showing it. But from what you told me he had every reason to agonize the mind when he was alone, just what must have happened while he was in the car. He is distracted and tac ! Over. "The last word was dissolved in a falsetto that dragged with it a violent wave of tears and sobs. "After" repeated Robert, upset, letting go.

  Erika began to weep in turn, more sedately. "It's the first thing I thought even I, the most obvious. But something inside me said that there was more. Simon was not only concerned about the phone, she was frightened. He asked to meet to talk and see each other as I told you in person was a rare event. He had to hide something big. Something that yes, Cristina concerned, because I had explained that he would speak with you soon to clarify but it was definitely over. "

  "It's just a shortcut," said Robert, still crying. "To think that there are mysteries to be discovered is a way to leave in abeyance the truth, not to say that Simon is gone and will never return. But excuse me if I prefer to deal with it immediately, without delay, because they are already so convinced that I just do not make me all my life for a reason. "

  "He kept a diary?" Said Erika, prevaricating.

  "Who?" Roberto asked stupidly, without really knowing if he had heard a question or statement.

  "As a young Simon kept a diary. We wrote often and at times left me to read pages that concerned me, to make me happy. Some other pages instead remained secret. "

  "But what ...?" Interrupted Roberto, innervosendosi.

  "So I wondered if he had not kept the habit until now. If so, maybe he wrote down his thoughts and we might get an idea whether you're right or if, as I say, Simona felt threatened by someone. Even for this I wanted to come here: we seek together. "

  "You ... you ... "stammered Bob, furious. "How can you think ...? Wan
t to play all'investigatrice behind the ...? like ... "

  "No, no, please do not misunderstand me 'Erika defended himself, holding out his hands to protect themselves from the wrath of Robert. "I'm hurt almost as much as you, as you, because Simon was one of the few important things I had left in the world. The most important, to tell the truth, and now it is gone. So I want to go down in history, in the hope that the truth is that you have told the police. Because if it were different, even if it were only minimally involved a person, I swear ... "But did not finish the sentence.

  Robert stared at her, silently, through the dall'adirato seriously. "You are convinced that has anything to do with Fabrizio, is not it?" Tried to guess.

  Erika looked up and met his. He did not need to respond.

  "Follow me," Robert asked her, wiping her eyes and got up, headed upstairs.

  PART THREE

  The legacy

  C ristina was locked in her room to study on all morning. To tell the truth, had left with the intention of the books and prepare for the next exam, but his attention was elsewhere. He could not help but think about his secret to her pregnancy, the huge mess that she and Daniel had combined. He had not spoken with anyone, had not had the courage to tell her boyfriend because she could not bear to see him happy while she was desperate, he had not said a word to her father, not to disturb him further into what was the period worst of his life, and had not confided in her friends, why not have believed it to be worthy enough to share this news.

  The problem was that to keep everything for himself he was destroying. He spent whole days to stroke his belly, listen in itself, as if somehow he could already feel the life that was taking shape. He searched the Internet the number of the testing laboratory in the city and had phoned to ask what it was for a pregnancy test "official", but had not yet had the guts to be really present in his urine sample. In a remote corner of his mind was hoping for something to happen that would make her understand that it was wrong to expect high and that no child.

  Was also upset at the thought that his mother had foreseen everything. He had hated when he used the risk of an unwanted pregnancy as an excuse to try to get her away from Daniel, but he wanted her at his side to confide. To apologize to her and confide. Simona was certain to find answers to any question and he did discover what was hidden in a positive situation that she thought was black as night, without fail to point out to her how he had been right in his prejudice against Daniel. Cristina would have also accepted the rebuke and humiliation, just to have someone to vent. And while he still close his mother, of course.