Untamed

  His face turned incredulous. “Just about? I thought you were done. Well, I am too. We’re no longer family. You’re dead to me, asshole. And the D-Bags are better off without you!”

  That did it. My body reacted before my mind could process what was happening. My entire arm tensed, my fingers curled into a rigid ball, and then I pulled back the coiled power and released it. My fist connected with Matt’s jaw and he spun to the ground. Rachel was instantly by his side.

  Once she saw he was okay, she stared up at me with wide, horrified eyes. “Have you lost your mind!” she shouted.

  Hovering over Matt, I shook my head. “No. I finally found it. And I’m finally seeing my ‘friend’s’ true colors. So much for blood being thicker than water.” I wanted to spit on Matt, but I thought better of it. He wasn’t worthy of my saliva.

  The bar’s bouncer wrapped his fingers around my biceps and pulled me back. Turning my head, I spat out, “Let go of me, asswipe. I’m done pummeling him.”

  The man, who could have been Sam’s twin, gruffed, “You’ll be done when you’re outside.” He manhandled me past the crowd that was booing me. Booing me. I almost couldn’t comprehend what I was hearing. Were they all drunk? Matt had started that shit; I’d only been defending myself. He was the bully here, not me.

  As I was being dragged away, I shouted back at Matt, “Oh, by the way, I’m taking my name with me. You can’t use D-Bags! That was mine!”

  I saw Matt scrambling to his feet. He followed us, spouting, “No, that’s not true. Your idea was Douchebags. I’m the one who suggested shortening it. It’s my name!”

  I sneered at him; he had a trail of blood running out of the corner of his mouth from where my aching fist had connected with him. “We’ll let the lawyers settle this one.”

  Matt put a hand on my shoulder. The bouncer told him to back off, but Matt ignored him. “You’re already quitting the band…don’t kill it too.”

  With a sneer, I tossed out, “What do you need my name for anyway? Just call yourselves Kellan’s Bitches, ’cause that’s what you are.”

  Matt stopped moving with us, and the crowd soon swallowed him up. But not before I heard him mutter, “Enjoy Hollywood, Griff.”

  “I plan to,” I shot back, then Blockhead unceremoniously shoved me out the front doors. I landed on the cement in a painful pile.

  “Don’t come back,” he ordered. “You’re officially banned from the premises.”

  My hands were scraped and bleeding, and my elbow felt on fire, but ignoring my aches, I shot to my feet. “You couldn’t pay me to come back to this dump,” I sneered.

  He only smiled, then walked back into the bar. I waited for the rush of outraged fans to come outside, gushing about how awful I was treated and how they’ll never frequent this place again…but no one came out. Not a single human being checked to see how I was doing. I didn’t want to admit it, but that stung.

  Anna was surprised to see me when I got home, since I hadn’t been gone very long. I told her Pete’s was dead and she hadn’t missed much. I wasn’t entirely lying. Pete’s was dead to me now; I couldn’t go back if I wanted to. Not that I wanted to ever go back there. Pete’s could suck it. Matt was dead to me too now, but I didn’t mention that to her either. No point.

  I fell asleep wishing I was away from here already, and ended up waking up an hour before the car taking us to the airport was scheduled to arrive. When Anna finally stirred, I had the mountain of bags we were traveling with stacked by the front door, a pot of coffee brewing, and a vodka Red Bull in my hand. Might as well start the day out right.

  “You beat me. I don’t think you’ve woken up before me…well, ever.” She yawned and stretched after she said it, and I did the same. I might have woken up before her, but it was still freaking early.

  My hip hurt from where that jackass had tossed me on the cement. I inconspicuously rubbed it while I told Anna, “I’m just excited to go. This is going to be so much fun. You’ll see.” She gave me a small, unconvinced smile before getting up to get ready.

  The doorbell chimed just as Anna finished getting dressed. Time to go. Wrangling the kids and all our stuff took a surprising amount of time. Gibson cried and refused to leave her purple room. Onnika needed food, then a diaper change, then another outfit. By the time we finally made it to the airport, I was done with this trip. Couldn’t we just be there already?

  We needed two carts to hold all our stuff, and even then I was bogged down with bags. When the automatic doors swished open, I spotted something that put me even more on edge. Kellan and Kiera were here. Kellan was dressed in a ball cap and sunglasses, but he still had a group of fans around him. He was smiling, autographing scraps of paper, and posing for a few pictures. Airport security was hovering around the crowd, looking a little uneasy. I figured they’d put a stop to this in about three more seconds.

  Readjusting the car seat in my hand, the diaper bag on my back, and the stroller balancing on the cart, I worked my way to Kellan’s circle. He looked up when he noticed me, then gave me a wave. Fans in the crowd turned my way, but if they recognized me, they didn’t show it.

  Anna squealed when she noticed her sister. Clutching our daughters tight, she dashed over to where Kiera was standing off to Kellan’s side. They hugged, and Anna’s smile was the brightest I’d seen since I’d told her we were leaving.

  Kellan politely brushed through his fans to get to me. Wondering if he was going to chew me out like Matt had, I brusquely asked, “You here to bitch me out too?”

  Kellan sighed, so I figured he knew about the incident with Matt at the bar. “No. I’m here to say goodbye. Regardless of…recent events…you’re family, and I can’t let you leave without a send-off.”

  I didn’t want to be moved by the fact that Kellan gave a shit, but I was. He extended his hand to me. I hesitated, but eventually took it. His grin under his ball cap had the lingering fans sighing like he’d just asked them to marry him. “Good luck, Griffin. I mean that.”

  Nodding, I pumped his hand a few more times, then let go. “Thanks.” I felt like I should add some sappy shit about how I appreciated his encouragement, but the words wouldn’t come out. All I kept hearing in my mind was Not tonight, maybe tomorrow. Well, tomorrow was today.

  I had to peel Anna away from Kiera. She had tears in her eyes when she said her final goodbye to her sister. “I’ll call you when I land,” she told her as their fingers finally separated.

  “You better,” Kiera said, wiping her eyes.

  Even though I didn’t get why this moment was getting so unnecessarily dramatic, I found it hard to swallow; it was like my throat was superglued shut. I started herding my wife toward check-in, then stopped and looked back at Kellan. “Hey, Kell,” I called out. Even though he was wearing dark sunglasses, I could tell his eyes were locked on mine. “Tell…” Tell Matt and Evan I’m sorry. My mouth wouldn’t form those words though. “Thanks for seeing us off.”

  Kellan nodded, then held his hand up in a wave. With nothing more to say, I turned my back on him, and Seattle.

  Chapter 12

  Let the Awesomeness Begin

  Anna was near silent on the plane. Holding Onnika in her lap, she stared out the windows like the endless sea of clouds was some all-encompassing book that she couldn’t put down.

  I told her that my parents were picking us up from the airport, but all I got was a nod in response. Even the flight attendant didn’t get a verbal answer when she asked Anna if she needed anything. Just a shake of her head while she stared out the window. Whatever funk she’d slipped into, it was so unlike her. It scared me some that she wasn’t snapping out of this. I missed my spunky, carefree wife who didn’t bat an eye at all my outlandish antics. Her ability to accept all my craziness was one of the main reasons we worked so well. If she lost that ability now, I wasn’t sure what that might mean for us. God, I hoped my old Anna returned soon. I needed someone to bounce my excitement off of. I needed her to be stoked about this.


  When the plane touched down in L.A., I was rearing to go. I was tired of this tiny, cramped cabin. Tired of my tiny, cramped life. I wanted to explode out into the world. See my name forty feet high. See the crowds losing their shit at just a glimpse of me. See the judgey critics speechless, because my awesomeness was impossible to portray in mere words. As the world was soon to find out, nothing in the English language could properly summarize me. I was ready for the solo spotlight. I’d been ready my entire life.

  While I watched luggage landing on the rotating belt, I wondered if I could still call myself a D-Bag. I’d been one for so long, it was odd to think of myself as anything else. But Denny was disavowing me, so technically…I was an ex-D-Bag. That thought darkened my mood a bit; it wasn’t all that long ago when the band had been everything to me. But they hadn’t felt the same, obviously, and now I was a reformed D-Bag. Nah, I’ll always be a douche.

  My inner joke perked my mood back up, and a laugh escaped me. Anna flashed a glance my way; the lingering sadness in her eyes momentarily shifted to prickly anger. Even though I was happy to see any sort of mood change from her, I had to know what had sparked it. “What?” Thinking maybe she wasn’t happy about our temporary arrangement, I told her, “Are you ticked we’re staying with my parents? It’s temporary, babe. Soon as we’re settled, we’ll start looking for a place. Promise.”

  She looked away, and the brief spark of angry life left her. Damn it. I really had no idea how to deal with sullen women; I had zero experience. If a chick turned moody, I checked out. But I didn’t want to do that with Anna. She was my dream girl.

  Once we had our bags, we met my dad outside. He looked haggard when we all piled into the minivan. “Something up, Pops?” I asked.

  With a glance at me, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Let’s just say, the house is kind of…busy right now. This may be the most peace and quiet I’ve had in a while. God, I’ve missed being able to hear myself think.”

  I looked around the crowded airport, cars coming and going, people shouting, hustling, and scrambling to get somewhere else. This was peaceful? Anna sighed after Dad’s statement. Tossing my arm around her shoulder, I gave her as encouraging a statement as I could. “It’s my family…how bad could it possibly be?”

  Her blank expression clearly told me just how epically awful she was sure it was going to be. It also said that if I ever wanted to get laid again, I should start looking for a place as soon as possible. I started scrolling through the classifieds in the van.

  As the airport became indiscernible in the rearview mirror, I thought over the complete and total lack of a fan freak-out there. No one had asked for an autograph, no one had screamed, no one had bitched about me leaving the band. No one had even recognized me. What the hell? Wondering if my parents had heard the news about the band, I asked Dad, “So…did you see me on Live with Johnny?” That puffed-up cocksucker.

  Dad frowned. “No…I must have missed it. What night were you on?”

  I rolled my eyes. Typical. Unless I gave them about ten reminders, my parents missed everything I did. Except making children. They flocked to grandkids like flies to a shitpile. “Well, you missed a good one. I quit the band.”

  Dad snapped his gaze to me; he jerked the wheel along with his head, almost colliding us with a taxi. Maybe I should have driven. “Why the hell would you quit the band?” He gaped at me like I’d just told him I was having a sex change.

  Frowning, I indicated the road. Last thing I needed was to damage my face because Dad rear-ended somebody. Especially now, since I had nothing to fall back on. This gorgeous mug was about to be my sole source of income. “I found something better. The TV show? Remember? That’s why we’re here.”

  Dad closed his eyes and I almost socked him in the arm. Pay attention, old dude! “Griffin…TV shows are a dime a dozen around here, you know that. And most of them never even get picked up, and if they do, they only last a season at best. You know that too. When you said you were filming one, I just assumed you were doing it for fun, in your downtime. I didn’t realize you’d quit…” He groaned, like he couldn’t believe he’d raised such an imbecilic child.

  My hands clenched into fists. Why was my family always the first to condemn me? “This one is getting picked up, that’s already a done deal. And it’s going to be huge, so you can quit freaking out.” I looked around the car; Anna was in the middle part of the minivan with Gibson and Onnika on either side of her. She still looked dull around the edges, like she was in mourning. “Everyone can quit freaking out…and have a little faith in me.” Facing front, I crossed my arms over my chest. This was supposed to be different.

  Anna sighed, then rested her hand on my shoulder. “We do, Griff. We do.” It was the first words she’d spoken since we’d left Seattle. Smiling, I met eyes with her in the rearview mirror. It looked strained, but she was smiling too. Seeing a positive emotion on her almost made me crumple with relief. Thank God, she was recovering. I’m not sure what I would have done if she’d never bounced back.

  Then Dad said something I wished he hadn’t. “What’s with your hair?” I still had the short cut and brown dye job that I’d gotten when I’d filmed the pilot, although my blond roots were starting to show through. I’d need a quick fix before we started filming again.

  I was about to answer him when Anna’s grip on my shoulder tightened. I slowly turned to meet her heated gaze. “He didn’t see your hair when you filmed the ‘commercial’?” Before I could explain, she answered her own question. “No…of course he didn’t see it. Because you didn’t really stay with your family while you were here. You lied to keep me away…so I wouldn’t find out that what you were filming wasn’t really a commercial.”

  Shaking her head, she leaned back in the seat and turned to stare out the window. Fuck. And just when I’d been getting somewhere with her. Dad looked over at me with a frown. “You were in town and didn’t say hello? Marsha is not gonna like that.” Great.

  When we got to Dad’s house, I immediately understood what he meant by “busy.” Mom was babysitting the twins for Chelsey, and about a billion of my relatives were visiting; both Mom and Dad came from super-huge families. Somebody was always stopping by. The house was chaos incarnate. Liam was there too, practicing lines for an audition.

  Liam blinked in surprise when he saw me. “Wow, you actually did do it. You quit the band. Are you an idiot or just plain stupid?”

  I was about to comment, but Anna beat me to it. “Griffin’s not an idiot. He made a career change, that’s all. He’s got a plan…and it’s going to work out fine.”

  She said that last part like she was convincing herself as well as my brother, but I was too impressed that she’d actually defended my decision to really care.

  I pulled my gaze away from Anna as Dad started pointing to a room down the hall—my old bedroom. “The four of you are going to have to share a room.” He shrugged, like nothing could be done about it. Anna sighed but followed me as I walked down the hallway to our new, albeit temporary, home.

  When we got to my old bedroom, which was still awesomely decorated in KISS and Poison posters, I turned to Anna. “Thanks for that.”

  “For what?” she murmured, laying Onnika on the ground.

  “For having my back with Liam. For saying I wasn’t an idiot for doing this.”

  Anna gave me a small smile then started checking Onnika’s diaper. “I’m still not sold on this, Griffin, and I’m still really pissed that you agreed to this behind my back, that you lied multiple times, and that you ever spouted the words ‘end of discussion’ like some controlling dickwad asshole…but I didn’t like what he was saying.” Peeking up at me, her tiny grin slightly widened. “You may be an idiot, but you’re my idiot.”

  Grabbing her hand, I yanked her to her feet. She squeaked as she let go of the elastic on Onnika’s diaper, making Onnika smile. Her deep green eyes were a smaller version of her mother’s; even though Onnie’s dark hair wasn’t
very long, they were near twins already.

  Wrapping my arms around Anna’s waist, I pulled her tight to my body. “Come with me tomorrow.”

  Relaxing, she linked her arms around my neck. “To the set?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Come with me and check it out. Then maybe you’ll get excited about this.”

  She chewed on her lip, and my cock twitched. Damn that was sexy. “Maybe…All right, I’ll go with you. Could be fun.” She smiled while she held her lip in her teeth, and I saw the familiar playful gleam in her eye spark to life. There’s my girl.

  I was just about to ask Gibson to take her sister into the next room when Mom appeared in my doorway. “Oh good, you’re here. You can help me make dinner. And by help, I mean get your ass in the kitchen.” Her smile was warm but her words were firm. There was no getting out of kitchen duty once it had been assigned to you.

  “Thanks, Mom, be there in a minute.” Maybe after a quickie with my wife.

  Mom started walking away, then she stopped, walked over to me, and smacked me across the head. “That’s for not visiting while you were in town. Nice hair.”

  She left the room and Anna started laughing. My head hurt, but hearing Anna laugh again was a relief. “Serves you right. That’s karma telling you not to lie, especially to your wife.” Her eyes grew icy, and I knew that even though she was trying to let it go, she was still pissed about my deception.

  Holding her shoulders, I looked her square in the eye. “I’m sorry, okay? And I won’t do it again.” We were already here, there was no reason to lie again now. This was going to be smooth sailing from here on out.

  Resentful fire brightened her eyes. “You better not lie to me again.”

  Giving her a sheepish smile, I made an X over my heart.

  Anna pursed her lips, then slowly nodded. “Okay…why don’t you tell me about your show then, so I know what to expect tomorrow.”