Phineas Redux

  CHAPTER XXXVII.

  THE CONSPIRACY.

  On the morning following the great division Phineas was with hisfriend, Lord Cantrip, by eleven o'clock; and Lord Cantrip, whenhe had read the two letters in which were comprised the wholecorrespondence, made to our unhappy hero the following little speech."I do not think that you can do anything. Indeed, I am sure that Mr.Monk is quite right. I don't quite see what it is that you wish todo. Privately,--between our two selves,--I do not hesitate to saythat Mr. Bonteen has intended to be ill-natured. I fancy that he isan ill-natured--or at any rate a jealous--man; and that he would bewilling to run down a competitor in the race who had made his runningafter a fashion different from his own. Bonteen has been a usefulman,--a very useful man; and the more so perhaps because he has notentertained any high political theory of his own. You have chosen todo so,--and undoubtedly when you and Monk left us, to our very greatregret, you did scuttle the ship."

  "We had no intention of that kind."

  "Do not suppose that I blame you. That which was odious to the eyesof Mr. Bonteen was to my thinking high and honourable conduct. Ihave known the same thing done by members of a Government perhapshalf-a-dozen times, and the men by whom it has been done have beenthe best and noblest of our modern statesmen. There has generallybeen a hard contest in the man's breast between loyalty to hisparty and strong personal convictions, the result of which has beenan inability on the part of the struggler to give even a silentsupport to a measure which he has disapproved. That inability is nodoubt troublesome at the time to the colleagues of the seceder, andconstitutes an offence hardly to be pardoned by such gentlemen as Mr.Bonteen."

  "For Mr. Bonteen personally I care nothing."

  "But of course you must endure the ill-effects of his influence,--bethey what they may. When you seceded from our Government you lookedfor certain adverse consequences. If you did not, where was yourself-sacrifice? That such men as Mr. Bonteen should feel that you hadscuttled the ship, and be unable to forgive you for doing so,--thatis exactly the evil which you knew you must face. You have toface it now, and surely you can do so without showing your teeth.Hereafter, when men more thoughtful than Mr. Bonteen shall have cometo acknowledge the high principle by which your conduct has beengoverned, you will receive your reward. I suppose Mr. Daubeny mustresign now."

  "Everybody says so."

  "I am by no means sure that he will. Any other Minister since LordNorth's time would have done so, with such a majority against him ona vital measure; but he is a man who delights in striking out somewonderful course for himself."

  "A prime minister so beaten surely can't go on."

  "Not for long, one would think. And yet how are you to turn him out?It depends very much on a man's power of endurance."

  "His colleagues will resign, I should think."

  "Probably;--and then he must go. I should say that that will be theway in which the matter will settle itself. Good morning, Finn;--andtake my word for it, you had better not answer Mr. Bonteen's letter."

  Not a word had fallen from Lord Cantrip's friendly lips as to theprobability of Phineas being invited to join the future Government.An attempt had been made to console him with the hazy promise ofsome future reward,--which however was to consist rather of the goodopinion of good men than of anything tangible and useful. But eventhis would never come to him. What would good men know of him and ofhis self-sacrifice when he should have been driven out of the worldby poverty, and forced probably to go to some New Zealand or backCanadian settlement to look for his bread? How easy, thought Phineas,must be the sacrifices of rich men, who can stay their time, andwait in perfect security for their rewards! But for such a one as he,truth to a principle was political annihilation. Two or three yearsago he had done what he knew to be a noble thing;--and now, becausehe had done that noble thing, he was to be regarded as unfit for thatvery employment for which he was peculiarly fitted. But Bonteen andCo. had not been his only enemies. His luck had been against himthroughout. Mr. Quintus Slide, with his People's Banner, and thestory of that wretched affair in Judd Street, had been as strongagainst him probably as Mr. Bonteen's ill-word. Then he thought ofLady Laura, and her love for him. His gratitude to Lady Laura wasboundless. There was nothing he would not do for Lady Laura,--were itin his power to do anything. But no circumstance in his career hadbeen so unfortunate for him as this affection. A wretched charge hadbeen made against him which, though wholly untrue, was as it wereso strangely connected with the truth, that slanderers might notimprobably be able almost to substantiate their calumnies. She wouldbe in London soon, and he must devote himself to her service. Butevery act of friendship that he might do for her would be used asproof of the accusation that had been made against him. As he thoughtof all this he was walking towards Park Lane in order that he mightcall upon Madame Goesler according to his promise. As he went up tothe drawing-room he met old Mr. Maule coming down, and the two bowedto each other on the stairs. In the drawing-room, sitting with MadameGoesler, he found Mrs. Bonteen. Now Mrs. Bonteen was almost as odiousto him as was her husband.

  "Did you ever know anything more shameful, Mr. Finn," said Mrs.Bonteen, "than the attack made upon Mr. Bonteen the night beforelast?" Phineas could see a smile on Madame Goesler's face as thequestion was asked;--for she knew, and he knew that she knew, howgreat was the antipathy between him and the Bonteens.

  "The attack was upon Mr. Gresham, I thought," said Phineas.

  "Oh, yes; nominally. But of course everybody knows what was meant.Upon my word there is twice more jealousy among men than among women.Is there not, Madame Goesler?"

  "I don't think any man could be more jealous than I am myself," saidMadame Goesler.

  "Then you're fit to be a member of a Government, that's all. I don'tsuppose that there is a man in England has worked harder for hisparty than Mr. Bonteen."

  "I don't think there is," said Phineas.

  "Or made himself more useful in Parliament. As for work, only thathis constitution is so strong, he would have killed himself."

  "He should take Thorley's mixture,--twice a day," said MadameGoesler.

  "Take!--he never has time to take anything. He breakfasts in hisdressing-room, carries his lunch in his pocket, and dines with thedivision bell ringing him up between his fish and his mutton chop.Now he has got their decimal coinage in hand, and has not a moment tohimself, even on Sundays!"

  "He'll be sure to go to Heaven for it,--that's one comfort."

  "And because they are absolutely obliged to make him Chancellor ofthe Exchequer,--just as if he had not earned it,--everybody is sojealous that they are ready to tear him to pieces!"

  "Who is everybody?" asked Phineas.

  "Oh! I know. It wasn't only Sir Orlando Drought. Who told SirOrlando? Never mind, Mr. Finn."

  "I don't in the least, Mrs. Bonteen."

  "I should have thought you would have been so triumphant," saidMadame Goesler.

  "Not in the least, Madame Goesler. Why should I be triumphant? Ofcourse the position is very high,--very high indeed. But it's no morethan what I have always expected. If a man give up his life to apursuit he ought to succeed. As for ambition, I have less of it thanany woman. Only I do hate jealousy, Mr. Finn." Then Mrs. Bonteen tookher leave, kissing her dear friend, Madame Goesler, and simply bowingto Phineas.

  "What a detestable woman!" said Phineas.

  "I know of old that you don't love her."

  "I don't believe that you love her a bit better than I do, and yetyou kiss her."

  "Hardly that, Mr. Finn. There has come up a fashion for ladies topretend to be very loving, and so they put their faces together. Twohundred years ago ladies and gentlemen did the same thing with justas little regard for each other. Fashions change, you know."

  "That was a change for the worse, certainly, Madame Goesler."

  "It wasn't of my doing. So you've had a great victory."

  "Yes;--greater than we expected."

  "According to Mrs. Bonteen, the chief result t
o the country will bethat the taxes will be so very safe in her husband's hands! I am sureshe believes that all Parliament has been at work in order that hemight be made a Cabinet Minister. I rather like her for it."

  "I don't like her, or her husband."

  "I do like a woman that can thoroughly enjoy her husband's success.When she is talking of his carrying about his food in his pocket sheis completely happy. I don't think Lady Glencora ever cared in theleast about her husband being Chancellor of the Exchequer."

  "Because it added nothing to her own standing."

  "That's very ill-natured, Mr. Finn; and I find that you are becominggenerally ill-natured. You used to be the best-humoured of men."

  "I hadn't so much to try my temper as I have now, and then youmust remember, Madame Goesler, that I regard these people as beingespecially my enemies."

  "Lady Glencora was never your enemy."

  "Nor my friend,--especially."

  "Then you wrong her. If I tell you something you must be discreet."

  "Am I not always discreet?"

  "She does not love Mr. Bonteen. She has had too much of him atMatching. And as for his wife, she is quite as unwilling to be kissedby her as you can be. Her Grace is determined to fight your battlefor you."

  "I want her to do nothing of the kind, Madame Goesler."

  "You will know nothing about it. We have put our heads to work, andMr. Palliser,--that is, the new Duke,--is to be made to tell Mr.Gresham that you are to have a place. It is no good you being angry,for the thing is done. If you have enemies behind your back, you musthave friends behind your back also. Lady Cantrip is to do the samething."

  "For Heaven's sake, not."

  "It's all arranged. You'll be called the ladies' pet, but you mustn'tmind that. Lady Laura will be here before it's arranged, and she willget hold of Mr. Erle."

  "You are laughing at me, I know."

  "Let them laugh that win. We thought of besieging Lord Fawn throughLady Chiltern, but we are not sure that anybody cares for LordFawn. The man we specially want now is the other Duke. We're afraidof attacking him through the Duchess because we think that he isinhumanly indifferent to anything that his wife says to him."

  "If that kind of thing is done I shall not accept place even if itis offered me."

  "Why not? Are you going to let a man like Mr. Bonteen bowl you over?Did you ever know Lady Glen fail in anything that she attempted?She is preparing a secret with the express object of making Mr.Ratler her confidant. Lord Mount Thistle is her slave, but then Ifear Lord Mount Thistle is not of much use. She'll do anything andeverything,--except flatter Mr. Bonteen."

  "Heaven forbid that anybody should do that for my sake."

  "The truth is that he made himself so disagreeable at Matching thatLady Glen is broken-hearted at finding that he is to seem to owe hispromotion to her husband's favour. Now you know all about it."

  "You have been very wrong to tell me."

  "Perhaps I have, Mr. Finn. But I thought it better that you shouldknow that you have friends at work for you. We believe,--or rather,the Duchess believes,--that falsehoods have been used which are asdisparaging to Lady Laura Kennedy as they are injurious to you, andshe is determined to put it right. Some one has told Mr. Gresham thatyou have been the means of breaking the hearts both of Lord Brentfordand Mr. Kennedy,--two members of the late Cabinet,--and he must bemade to understand that this is untrue. If only for Lady Laura's sakeyou must submit."

  "Lord Brentford and I are the best friends in the world."

  "And Mr. Kennedy is a madman,--absolutely in custody of his friends,as everybody knows; and yet the story has been made to work."

  "And you do not feel that all this is derogatory to me?"

  Madame Goesler was silent for a moment, and then she answered boldly,"Not a whit. Why should it be derogatory? It is not done withthe object of obtaining an improper appointment on behalf of anunimportant man. When falsehoods of that kind are told you can't meetthem in a straightforward way. I suppose I know with fair accuracythe sort of connection there has been between you and Lady Laura."Phineas very much doubted whether she had any such knowledge; but hesaid nothing, though the lady paused a few moments for reply. "Youcan't go and tell Mr. Gresham all that; nor can any friend do so onyour behalf. It would be absurd."

  "Most absurd."

  "And yet it is essential to your interests that he should know it.When your enemies are undermining you, you must countermine or you'llbe blown up."

  "I'd rather fight above ground."

  "That's all very well, but your enemies won't stay above ground.Is that newspaper man above ground? And for a little job of clevermining, believe me, that there is not a better engineer going thanLady Glen;--not but what I've known her to be very nearly 'hoist withher own petard,'"--added Madame Goesler, as she remembered a certaincircumstance in their joint lives.

  All that Madame Goesler said was true. A conspiracy had been formed,in the first place at the instance of Madame Goesler, but altogetherby the influence of the young Duchess, for forcing upon the futurePremier the necessity of admitting Phineas Finn into his Government.On the Wednesday following the conclusion of the debate,--the day onthe morning of which the division was to take place,--there was noHouse. On the Thursday, the last day on which the House was to sitbefore the Easter holidays, Mr. Daubeny announced his intentionof postponing the declaration of his intentions till after theadjournment. The House would meet, he said, on that day week, andthen he would make his official statement. This communication he madevery curtly, and in a manner that was thought by some to be almostinsolent to the House. It was known that he had been grievouslydisappointed by the result of the debate,--not probably havingexpected a majority since his adversary's strategy had been declared,but always hoping that the deserters from his own standard would bevery few. The deserters had been very many, and Mr. Daubeny wasmajestic in his wrath.

  Nothing, however, could be done till after Easter. The Ratlers ofthe Liberal party were very angry at the delay, declaring that itwould have been much to the advantage of the country at large thatthe vacation week should have been used for constructing a LiberalCabinet. This work of construction always takes time, and delays thebusiness of the country. No one can have known better than did Mr.Daubeny how great was the injury of delay, and how advantageously theshort holiday might have been used. With a majority of seventy-twoagainst him, there could be no reason why he should not have at onceresigned, and advised the Queen to send for Mr. Gresham. Nothingcould be worse than his conduct. So said the Liberals, thirstingfor office. Mr. Gresham himself did not open his mouth when theannouncement was made;--nor did any man, marked for future office,rise to denounce the beaten statesman. But one or two independentMembers expressed their great regret at the unnecessary delay whichwas to take place before they were informed who was to be theMinister of the Crown. But Mr. Daubeny, as soon as he had made hisstatement, stalked out of the House, and no reply whatever was madeto the independent Members. Some few sublime and hot-headed gentlemenmuttered the word "impeachment." Others, who were more practical andless dignified, suggested that the Prime Minister "ought to have hishead punched."

  It thus happened that all the world went out of town that week,--sothat the Duchess of Omnium was down at Matching when Phineas calledat the Duke's house in Carlton Terrace on Friday. With what object hehad called he hardly knew himself; but he thought that he intended toassure the Duchess that he was not a candidate for office, and thathe must deprecate her interference. Luckily,--or unluckily,--he didnot see her, and he felt that it would be impossible to convey hiswishes in a letter. The whole subject was one which would have defiedhim to find words sufficiently discreet for his object.

  The Duke and Duchess of St. Bungay were at Matching for theEaster,--as also was Barrington Erle, and also that dreadful Mr.Bonteen, from whose presence the poor Duchess of Omnium could inthese days never altogether deliver herself. "Duke," she said, "youknow Mr. Finn?"

  "Certainly. It was not ve
ry long ago that I was talking to him."

  "He used to be in office, you remember."

  "Oh yes;--and a very good beginner he was. Is he a friend of YourGrace's?"

  "A great friend. I'll tell you what I want you to do. You must havesome place found for him."

  "My dear Duchess, I never interfere."

  "Why, Duke, you've made more Cabinets than any man living."

  "I fear, indeed, that I have been at the construction of moreGovernments than most men. It's forty years ago since Lord Melbournefirst did me the honour of consulting me. When asked for advice, mydear, I have very often given it. It has occasionally been my duty tosay that I could not myself give my slender assistance to a Ministryunless I were supported by the presence of this or that politicalfriend. But never in my life have I asked for an appointment as apersonal favour; and I am sure you won't be angry with me if I saythat I cannot begin to do so now."

  "But Mr. Finn ought to be there. He did so well before."

  "If so, let us presume that he will be there. I can only say, fromwhat little I know of him, that I shall be happy to see him in anyoffice to which the future Prime Minister may consider it to behis duty to appoint him." "To think," said the Duchess of Omniumafterwards to her friend Madame Goesler,--"to think that I shouldhave had that stupid old woman a week in the house, and all fornothing!"

  "Upon my word, Duchess," said Barrington Erle, "I don't know why itis, but Gresham seems to have taken a dislike to him."

  "It's Bonteen's doing."

  "Very probably."

  "Surely you can get the better of that?"

  "I look upon Phineas Finn, Duchess, almost as a child of my own. Hehas come back to Parliament altogether at my instigation."

  "Then you ought to help him."

  "And so I would if I could. Remember I am not the man I used to bewhen dear old Mr. Mildmay reigned. The truth is, I never interferenow unless I'm asked."

  "I believe that every one of you is afraid of Mr. Gresham."

  "Perhaps we are."

  "I'll tell you what. If he's passed over I'll make such a row thatsome of you shall hear it."

  "How fond all you women are of Phineas Finn."

  "I don't care that for him," said the Duchess, snapping herfingers--"more than I do, that is, for any other mere acquaintance.The man is very well, as most men are."

  "Not all."

  "No, not all. Some are as little and jealous as a girl in her tenthseason. He is a decently good fellow, and he is to be thrown over,because--"

  "Because of what?"

  "I don't choose to name any one. You ought to know all about it, andI do not doubt but you do. Lady Laura Kennedy is your own cousin."

  "There is not a spark of truth in all that."

  "Of course there is not; and yet he is to be punished. I know verywell, Mr. Erle, that if you choose to put your shoulder to the wheelyou can manage it; and I shall expect to have it managed."

  "Plantagenet," she said the next day to her husband, "I want you todo something for me."

  "To do something! What am I to do? It's very seldom you want anythingin my line."

  "This isn't in your line at all, and yet I want you to do it."

  "Ten to one it's beyond my means."

  "No, it isn't. I know you can if you like. I suppose you are all sureto be in office within ten days or a fortnight?"

  "I can't say, my dear. I have promised Mr. Gresham to be of use tohim if I can."

  "Everybody knows all that. You're going to be Privy Seal, and to workjust the same as ever at those horrible two farthings."

  "And what is it you want, Glencora?"

  "I want you to say that you won't take any office unless you areallowed to bring in one or two friends with you."

  "Why should I do that? I shall not doubt any Cabinet chosen by Mr.Gresham."

  "I'm not speaking of the Cabinet; I allude to men in lower offices,lords, and Under-Secretaries, and Vice-people. You know what I mean."

  "I never interfere."

  "But you must. Other men do continually. It's quite a common thingfor a man to insist that one or two others should come in with him."

  "Yes. If a man feels that he cannot sustain his own position withoutsupport, he declines to join the Government without it. But thatisn't my case. The friends who are necessary to me in the Cabinet arethe very men who will certainly be there. I would join no Governmentwithout the Duke; but--"

  "Oh, the Duke--the Duke! I hate dukes--and duchesses too. I'm nottalking about a duke. I want you to oblige me by making a point withMr. Gresham that Mr. Finn shall have an office."

  "Mr. Finn!"

  "Yes, Mr. Finn. I'll explain it all if you wish it."

  "My dear Glencora, I never interfere."

  "Who does interfere? Everybody says the same. Somebody interferes,I suppose. Mr. Gresham can't know everybody so well as to be ableto fit all the pegs into all the holes without saying a word toanybody."

  "He would probably speak to Mr. Bonteen."

  "Then he would speak to a very disagreeable man, and one I'm as sickof as I ever was of any man I ever knew. If you can't manage this forme, Plantagenet, I shall take it very ill. It's a little thing, andI'm sure you could have it done. I don't very often trouble you byasking for anything."

  The Duke in his quiet way was an affectionate man, and an indulgenthusband. On the following morning he was closeted with Mr. Bonteen,two private secretaries, and a leading clerk from the Treasury forfour hours, during which they were endeavouring to ascertain whetherthe commercial world of Great Britain would be ruined or enrichedif twelve pennies were declared to contain fifty farthings. Thediscussion had been grievously burdensome to the minds of the Duke'sassistants in it, but he himself had remembered his wife through itall. "By the way," he said, whispering into Mr. Bonteen's private earas he led that gentleman away to lunch, "if we do come in--"

  "Oh, we must come in."

  "If we do, I suppose something will be done for that Mr. Finn. Hespoke well the other night."

  Mr. Bonteen's face became very long. "He helped to upset the coachwhen he was with us before."

  "I don't think that that is much against him."

  "Is he--a personal friend of Your Grace's?"

  "No--not particularly. I never care about such things for myself; butLady Glencora--"

  "I think the Duchess can hardly know what has been his conduct topoor Kennedy. There was a most disreputable row at a public-house inLondon, and I am told that he behaved--very badly."

  "I never heard a word about it," said the Duke.

  "I'll tell you just the truth," said Mr. Bonteen. "I've been askedabout him, and I've been obliged to say that he would weaken anyGovernment that would give him office."

  "Oh, indeed!"

  That evening the Duke told the Duchess nearly all that he had heard,and the Duchess swore that she wasn't going to be beaten by Mr.Bonteen.