Phineas Redux

  CHAPTER LXIX.

  THE DUKE'S FIRST COUSIN.

  Our pages have lately been taken up almost exclusively with thetroubles of Phineas Finn, and indeed have so far not unfairlyrepresented the feelings and interest of people generally at thetime. Not to have talked of Phineas Finn from the middle of May tothe middle of July in that year would have exhibited great ignoranceor a cynical disposition. But other things went on also. Moonswaxed and waned; children were born; marriages were contracted; andthe hopes and fears of the little world around did not come to anend because Phineas Finn was not to be hung. Among others who hadinterests of their own there was poor Adelaide Palliser, whom we lastsaw under the affliction of Mr. Spooner's love,--but who before thathad encountered the much deeper affliction of a quarrel with her ownlover. She had desired him to free her,--and he had gone. Indeed,as to his going at that moment there had been no alternative, ashe considered himself to have been turned out of Lord Chiltern'shouse. The red-headed lord, in the fierceness of his defence of MissPalliser, had told the lover that under such and such circumstanceshe could not be allowed to remain at Harrington Hall. Lord Chilternhad said something about "his roof." Now, when a host questions thepropriety of a guest remaining under his roof, the guest is obligedto go. Gerard Maule had gone; and, having offended his sweetheartby a most impolite allusion to Boulogne, had been forced to go asa rejected lover. From that day to this he had done nothing,--notbecause he was contented with the lot assigned to him, for everymorning, as he lay on his bed, which he usually did till twelve,he swore to himself that nothing should separate him from AdelaidePalliser,--but simply because to do nothing was customary with him."What is a man to do?" he not unnaturally asked his friend CaptainBoodle at the club. "Let her out on the grass for a couple ofmonths," said Captain Boodle, "and she'll come up as clean as awhistle. When they get these humours there's nothing like giving thema run." Captain Boodle undoubtedly had the reputation of being verygreat in council on such matters; but it must not be supposed thatGerard Maule was contented to take his advice implicitly. He wasunhappy, ill at ease, half conscious that he ought to do something,full of regrets,--but very idle.

  In the meantime Miss Palliser, who had the finer nature of the two,suffered grievously. The Spooner affair was but a small addition toher misfortune. She could get rid of Mr. Spooner,--of any number ofMr. Spooners; but how should she get back to her the man she loved?When young ladies quarrel with their lovers it is always presumed,especially in books, that they do not wish to get them back. It is tobe understood that the loss to them is as nothing. Miss Smith begsthat Mr. Jones may be assured that he is not to consider her at all.If he is pleased to separate, she will be at any rate quite as wellpleased,--probably a great deal better. No doubt she had loved himwith all her heart, but that will make no difference to her, if hewishes,--to be off. Upon the whole Miss Smith thinks that she wouldprefer such an arrangement, in spite of her heart. Adelaide Palliserhad said something of the kind. As Gerard Maule had regarded heras a "trouble," and had lamented that prospect of "Boulogne" whichmarriage had presented to his eyes, she had dismissed him with a feweasily spoken words. She had assured him that no such troubles needweigh upon him. No doubt they had been engaged;--but, as far as shewas concerned, the remembrance of that need not embarrass him. And soshe and Lord Chiltern between them had sent him away. But how was sheto get him back again?

  When she came to think it over, she acknowledged to herself that itwould be all the world to her to have him back. To have him at allhad been all the world to her. There had been nothing peculiarlyheroic about him, nor had she ever regarded him as a hero. Shehad known his faults and weaknesses, and was probably awarethat he was inferior to herself in character and intellect. But,nevertheless, she had loved him. To her he had been, though notheroic, sufficiently a man to win her heart. He was a gentleman,pleasant-mannered, pleasant to look at, pleasant to talk to, noteducated in the high sense of the word, but never making himselfridiculous by ignorance. He was the very antipodes of a Spooner, andhe was,--or rather had been,--her lover. She did not wish to change.She did not recognise the possibility of changing. Though she hadtold him that he might go if he pleased, to her his going would bethe loss of everything. What would life be without a lover,--withoutthe prospect of marriage? And there could be no other lover. Therecould be no further prospect should he take her at her word.

  Of all this Lord Chiltern understood nothing, but Lady Chilternunderstood it all. To his thinking the young man had behaved so badlythat it was incumbent on them all to send him away and so have donewith him. If the young man wanted to quarrel with any one, there washe to be quarrelled with. The thing was a trouble, and the soonerthey got to the end of it the better. But Lady Chiltern understoodmore than that. She could not prevent the quarrel as it came,--or wascoming; but she knew that "the quarrel of lovers is the renewal oflove." At any rate, the woman always desires that it may be so, andendeavours to reconcile the parted ones. "You'll see him in London,"Lady Chiltern had said to her friend.

  "I do not want to see him," said Adelaide proudly.

  "But he'll want to see you, and then,--after a time,--you'll want tosee him. I don't believe in quarrels, you know."

  "It is better that we should part, Lady Chiltern, if marrying willcause him--dismay. I begin to feel that we are too poor to bemarried."

  "A great deal poorer people than you are married every day. Of coursepeople can't be equally rich. You'll do very well if you'll only bepatient, and not refuse to speak to him when he comes to you." Thiswas said at Harrington after Lady Chiltern had returned from herfirst journey up to London. That visit had been very short, and MissPalliser had been left alone at the hall. We already know how Mr.Spooner took advantage of her solitude. After that, Miss Palliser wasto accompany the Chilterns to London, and she was there with themwhen Phineas Finn was acquitted. By that time she had brought herselfto acknowledge to her friend Lady Chiltern that it would perhaps bedesirable that Mr. Maule should return. If he did not do so, and thatat once, there must come an end to her life in England. She must goaway to Italy,--altogether beyond the reach of Gerard Maule. In suchcase all the world would have collapsed for her, and she would becomethe martyr of a shipwreck. And yet the more that she confessed toherself that she loved the man so well that she could not part withhim, the more angry she was with him for having told her that, whenmarried, they must live at Boulogne.

  The house in Portman Square had been practically given up by LordBrentford to his son; but nevertheless the old Earl and Lady Laurahad returned to it when they reached England from Dresden. It was,however, large, and now the two families,--if the Earl and hisdaughter can be called a family,--were lodging there together. TheEarl troubled them but little, living mostly in his own rooms, andLady Laura never went out with them. But there was something in thepresence of the old man and the widow which prevented the house frombeing gay as it might have been. There were no parties in PortmanSquare. Now and then a few old friends dined there; but at thepresent moment Gerard Maule could not be admitted as an old friend.When Adelaide had been a fortnight in London she had not as yet seenGerard Maule or heard a word from him. She had been to balls andconcerts, to dinner parties and the play; but no one had as yetbrought them together. She did know that he was in town. She was ableto obtain so much information of him as that. But he never came toPortman Square, and had evidently concluded that the quarrel--was tobe a quarrel.

  Among other balls in London that July there had been one at theDuchess of Omnium's. This had been given after the acquittal ofPhineas Finn, though fixed before that great era. "Nothing on earthshould have made me have it while he was in prison," the Duchesshad said. But Phineas was acquitted, and cakes and ale again becamepermissible. The ball had been given, and had been very grand.Phineas had been asked, but of course had not gone. Madame Goesler,who was a great heroine since her successful return from Prague, hadshown herself there for a few minutes. Lady Chiltern had gone, and ofcourse taken Adelaide. "We are
first cousins," the Duke said to MissPalliser,--for the Duke did steal a moment from his work in which towalk through his wife's drawing-room. Adelaide smiled and nodded, andlooked pleased as she gave her hand to her great relative. "I hope weshall see more of each other than we have done," said the Duke. "Wehave all been sadly divided, haven't we?" Then he said a word to hiswife, expressing his opinion that Adelaide Palliser was a nice girl,and asking her to be civil to so near a relative.

  The Duchess had heard all about Gerard Maule and the engagement. Shealways did hear all about everything. And on this evening she asked aquestion or two from Lady Chiltern. "Do you know," she said, "I havean appointment to-morrow with your husband?"

  "I did not know;--but I won't interfere to prevent it, now you aregenerous enough to tell me."

  "I wish you would, because I don't know what to say to him. He is tocome about that horrid wood, where the foxes won't get themselvesborn and bred as foxes ought to do. How can I help it? I'd send downa whole Lying-in Hospital for the foxes if I thought that that woulddo any good."

  "Lord Chiltern thinks it's the shooting."

  "But where is a person to shoot if he mayn't shoot in his own woods?Not that the Duke cares about the shooting for himself. He could nothit a pheasant sitting on a haystack, and wouldn't know one if he sawit. And he'd rather that there wasn't such a thing as a pheasant inthe world. He cares for nothing but farthings. But what is a man todo? Or, rather, what is a woman to do?--for he tells me that I mustsettle it."

  "Lord Chiltern says that Mr. Fothergill has the foxes destroyed. Isuppose Mr. Fothergill may do as he pleases if the Duke gives himpermission."

  "I hate Mr. Fothergill, if that'll do any good," said the Duchess;"and we wish we could get rid of him altogether. But that, you know,is impossible. When one has an old man on one's shoulders one nevercan get rid of him. He is my incubus; and then you see Trumpeton Woodis such a long way from us at Matching that I can't say I want theshooting for myself. And I never go to Gatherum if I can help it.Suppose we made out that the Duke wanted to let the shooting?"

  "Lord Chiltern would take it at once."

  "But the Duke wouldn't really let it, you know. I'll lay awake atnight and think about it. And now tell me about Adelaide Palliser. Isshe to be married?"

  "I hope so,--sooner or later."

  "There's a quarrel or something;--isn't there? She's the Duke's firstcousin, and we should be so sorry that things shouldn't go pleasantlywith her. And she's a very good-looking girl, too. Would she like tocome down to Matching?"

  "She has some idea of going back to Italy."

  "And leaving her lover behind her! Oh, dear, that will be very bad.She'd much better come to Matching, and then I'd ask the man to cometoo. Mr. Maud, isn't he?"

  "Gerard Maule."

  "Ah, yes; Maule. If it's the kind of thing that ought to be, I'dmanage it in a week. If you get a young man down into a countryhouse, and there has been anything at all between them, I don't seehow he is to escape. Isn't there some trouble about money?"

  "They wouldn't be very rich, Duchess."

  "What a blessing for them! But then, perhaps, they'd be very poor."

  "They would be rather poor."

  "Which is not a blessing. Isn't there some proverb about goingsafely in the middle? I'm sure it's true about money,--only perhapsyou ought to be put a little beyond the middle. I don't know whyPlantagenet shouldn't do something for her."

  As to this conversation Lady Chiltern said very little to Adelaide,but she did mention the proposed visit to Matching.

  "The Duchess said nothing to me," replied Adelaide, proudly.

  "No; I don't suppose she had time. And then she is so very odd;sometimes taking no notice of one, and at others so very loving."

  "I hate that."

  "But with her it is neither impudence nor affectation. She saysexactly what she thinks at the time, and she is always as good as herword. There are worse women than the Duchess."

  "I am sure I wouldn't like going to Matching," said Adelaide.

  Lady Chiltern was right in saying that the Duchess of Omnium wasalways as good as her word. On the next day, after that interviewwith Lord Chiltern about Mr. Fothergill and the foxes,--as to whichno present further allusion need be made here,--she went to work anddid learn a good deal about Gerard Maule and Miss Palliser. Somethingshe learned from Lord Chiltern,--without any consciousness on hislordship's part, something from Madame Goesler, and something fromthe Baldock people. Before she went to bed on the second night sheknew all about the quarrel, and all about the money. "Plantagenet,"she said the next morning, "what are you going to do about the Duke'slegacy to Marie Goesler?"

  "I can do nothing. She must take the things, of course."

  "She won't."

  "Then the jewels must remain packed up. I suppose they'll be sold atlast for the legacy duty, and, when that's paid, the balance willbelong to her."

  "But what about the money?"

  "Of course it belongs to her."

  "Couldn't you give it to that girl who was here last night?"

  "Give it to a girl!"

  "Yes;--to your cousin. She's as poor as Job, and can't get marriedbecause she hasn't got any money. It's quite true; and I must saythat if the Duke had looked after his own relations instead ofleaving money to people who don't want it and won't have it, it wouldhave been much better. Why shouldn't Adelaide Palliser have it?"

  "How on earth should I give Adelaide Palliser what doesn't belong tome? If you choose to make her a present, you can, but such a sum asthat would, I should say, be out of the question."

  The Duchess had achieved quite as much as she had anticipated. Sheknew her husband well, and was aware that she couldn't carry herpoint at once. To her mind it was "all nonsense" his saying that themoney was not his. If Madame Goesler wouldn't take it, it must behis; and nobody could make a woman take money if she did not choose.Adelaide Palliser was the Duke's first cousin, and it was intolerablethat the Duke's first cousin should be unable to marry because shewould have nothing to live upon. It became, at least, intolerableas soon as the Duchess had taken it into her head to like the firstcousin. No doubt there were other first cousins as badly off, orperhaps worse, as to whom the Duchess would care nothing whetherthey were rich or poor,--married or single; but then they were firstcousins who had not had the advantage of interesting the Duchess.

  "My dear," said the Duchess to her friend, Madame Goesler, "you knowall about those Maules?"

  "What makes you ask?"

  "But you do?"

  "I know something about one of them," said Madame Goesler. Now, asit happened, Mr. Maule, senior, had on that very day asked MadameGoesler to share her lot with his, and the request had been--almostindignantly, refused. The general theory that the wooing of widowsshould be quick had, perhaps, misled Mr. Maule. Perhaps he did notthink that the wooing had been quick. He had visited Park Lane withthe object of making his little proposition once before, and hadthen been stopped in his course by the consternation occasioned bythe arrest of Phineas Finn. He had waited till Phineas had beenacquitted, and had then resolved to try his luck. He had heard of thelady's journey to Prague, and was acquainted of course with thoserumours which too freely connected the name of our hero with that ofthe lady. But rumours are often false, and a lady may go to Prague ona gentleman's behalf without intending to marry him. All the women inLondon were at present more or less in love with the man who had beenaccused of murder, and the fantasy of Madame Goesler might be only asthe fantasy of others. And then, rumour also said that Phineas Finnintended to marry Lady Laura Kennedy. At any rate a man cannot havehis head broken for asking a lady to marry him,--unless he is veryawkward in the doing of it. So Mr. Maule made his little proposition.

  "Mr. Maule," said Madame, smiling, "is not this rather sudden?" Mr.Maule admitted that it was sudden, but still persisted. "I think,if you please, Mr. Maule, we will say no more about it," said thelady, with that wicked smile still on her face. Mr. Maule declaredthat
silence on the subject had become impossible to him. "Then, Mr.Maule, I shall have to leave you to speak to the chairs and tables,"said Madame Goesler. No doubt she was used to the thing, and knew howto conduct herself well. He also had been refused before by ladies ofwealth, but had never been treated with so little consideration. Shehad risen from her chair as though about to leave the room, but wasslow in her movement, showing him that she thought it was well forhim to leave it instead of her. Muttering some words, half of apologyand half of self-assertion, he did leave the room; and now she toldthe Duchess that she knew something of one of the Maules.

  "That is, the father?"

  "Yes,--the father."

  "He is one of your tribe, I know. We met him at your house justbefore the murder. I don't much admire your taste, my dear, becausehe's a hundred and fifty years old;--and what there is of him comeschiefly from the tailor."

  "He's as good as any other old man."

  "I dare say,--and I hope Mr. Finn will like his society. But he hasgot a son."

  "So he tells me."

  "Who is a charming young man."

  "He never told me that, Duchess."

  "I dare say not. Men of that sort are always jealous of their sons.But he has. Now I am going to tell you something and ask you to dosomething."

  "What was it the French Minister said. If it is simply difficult itis done. If it is impossible, it shall be done."

  "The easiest thing in the world. You saw Plantagenet's first cousinthe other night,--Adelaide Palliser. She is engaged to marry youngMr. Maule, and they neither of them have a shilling in the world. Iwant you to give them five-and-twenty thousand pounds."

  "Wouldn't that be peculiar?"

  "Not in the least."

  "At any rate it would be inconvenient."

  "No it wouldn't, my dear. It would be the most convenient thing inthe world. Of course I don't mean out of your pocket. There's theDuke's legacy."

  "It isn't mine, and never will be."

  "But Plantagenet says it never can be anybody else's. If I can gethim to agree, will you? Of course there will be ever so many papersto be signed; and the biggest of all robbers, the Chancellor of theExchequer, will put his fingers into the pudding and pull out a plum,and the lawyers will take more plums. But that will be nothing tous. The pudding will be very nice for them let ever so many plums betaken. The lawyers and people will do it all, and then it will be herfortune,--just as though her uncle had left it to her. As it is now,the money will never be of any use to anybody." Madame Goesler saidthat if the Duke consented she also would consent. It was immaterialto her who had the money. If by signing any receipt she couldfacilitate the return of the money to any one of the Duke's family,she would willingly sign it. But Miss Palliser must be made tounderstand that the money did not come to her as a present fromMadame Goesler.

  "But it will be a present from Madame Goesler," said the Duke.

  "Plantagenet, if you go and upset everything by saying that, I shallthink it most ill-natured. Bother about true! Somebody must have themoney. There's nothing illegal about it." And the Duchess had her ownway. Lawyers were consulted, and documents were prepared, and thewhole thing was arranged. Only Adelaide Palliser knew nothing aboutit, nor did Gerard Maule; and the quarrels of lovers had not yetbecome the renewal of love. Then the Duchess wrote the two followingnotes:--

  MY DEAR ADELAIDE,

  We shall hope to see you at Matching on the 15th of August. The Duke, as head of the family, expects implicit obedience. You'll meet fifteen young gentlemen from the Treasury and the Board of Trade, but they won't incommode you, as they are kept at work all day. We hope Mr. Finn will be with us, and there isn't a lady in England who wouldn't give her eyes to meet him. We shall stay ever so many weeks at Matching, so that you can do as you please as to the time of leaving us.

  Yours affectionately,

  G. O.

  Tell Lord Chiltern that I have my hopes of making Trumpeton Wood too hot for Mr. Fothergill,--but I have to act with the greatest caution. In the meantime I am sending down dozens of young foxes, all labelled Trumpeton Wood, so that he shall know them.

  The other was a card rather than a note. The Duke and Duchess ofOmnium presented their compliments to Mr. Gerard Maule, and requestedthe honour of his company to dinner on,--a certain day named. WhenGerard Maule received this card at his club he was rather surprised,as he had never made the acquaintance either of the Duke or theDuchess. But the Duke was the first cousin of Adelaide Palliser, andof course he accepted the invitation.