A Song of Snow and Ashes

my abilities. I thought I was doing what everyone wanted." Her eyes filled with tears again. "But when I met them this morning, they told me I wasn't part of the community," she explained, her voice choking up.

  "I'm sorry, Eliora, but you can't say this wasn't unexpected."

  "I guess I'm just, oh, what's the word, when you always hope for the best?"

  "Optimistic," he supplied wryly.

  "Yes. I guess I'm just stupidly optimistic."

  "Not stupid. You're a stranger in a foreign land. If you weren't optimistic, you'd probably have gone crazy from despair."

  "I shouldn't have defied Hialmar," she said.

  "Why not? You probably did save the city."

  "He's the leader, the elder, and I'm supposed to listen to my elders."

  "Even if they're wrong?"

  "Yes. They're the ones who suffer most for poor decisions."

  He gave her odd look. "You mean you think it would have been better to listen to Hialmar, let the city burn, and have him take the blame?"

  "That's how it works, right?"

  "If you hadn't fought that fire, no one would have known you could. If you later told him you could stop it, and proved it, he'd probably be angry that you didn't."

  "That's not fair. I got in trouble because I disobeyed, and you're telling me I'd get in trouble if I obeyed, too?" she protested.

  "How would your elders, as you call them, have handled this situation?"

  "Well, first of all, they would make sure they knew exactly what my abilities were beforehand. Then, if they made the wrong decision, the community would probably have them forced out of their leadership position. That's how it works. The elders speak for the community. The community tries to pick good elders, but once elected those elders have to be responsible for the community. That means knowing everything that goes on in the community and that could affect the community. If they make a bad decision based on unreasonable ignorance then that's considered a breach of their duty as elder. Too many breaches and they lose their position."

  "And who decides what's unreasonable?"

  "Other elders. Sometimes the community gets a direct voice if the bad decision has lead to disaster."

  He thought this over. "I guess based on your government and your experience with the Council, it seems to work like your elders. But it really doesn't. The people here don't really choose the Council. They sort of choose themselves, usually based on who's the best warrior."

  "But why do the people follow them?" she asked.

  "Because most of the men here are warriors. Naturally they expect the best warriors to be the best leaders. Sort of like the military, I guess, but on a smaller scale. Your military does have different ranks of authority, right?"

  She nodded. "It makes sense that warriors would chose that kind of organization. But does that mean anyone who's not a warrior can't be on the Council?"

  "Yes. Jomei was allowed, reluctantly, as I understand it, because it's just a good thing to have a priest involved in the community. But I wouldn't be surprised if he has lower status within the Council because he's not a warrior."

  She thought about this for a while. "If I become a warrior, will they listen to me?"

  "I don't know, but I doubt it. You're still foreign and you're still a woman."

  "I guess I'll just have to try harder to fit in," she sighed.

  "Why bother?"

  "What?"

  "Why bother?" he asked, his expression dark. "I don't think most of them will ever fully accept you anyway. Why allow yourself to remain subject to their prejudices and stay relegated to a low status?"

  She looked at him sharply. He was clearly angry, and she didn't think it was directed at her. "What, you're encouraging me to rebel?"

  "I'm encouraging you to be yourself, even if that means defying the Council and everyone else."

  She turned back to the stars. "You don't understand. Rebelling is as foreign to my nature as fighting. My society is centered around the community and the family. Since I have no family here, my life has centered exclusively around community. If I continue to defy the Council, I'll probably lose what little acceptance I've gained."

  "What acceptance?" he demanded harshly.

  Stung, she turned to face him. "What?" she stuttered.

  "You just said they told you they didn't consider you part of the community. They aren't going to accept you. They're just going to make sure you obey their orders and do exactly what they want. Why bother to do what they want when you won't get anything but contempt? Honestly, if you're going to let them push you back down, then you deserve what you get." He abruptly stood up and descended the tree.

  For a moment she could not speak. Then despair, anger, and resentment swelled up inside her, and she burst into tears. She was still crying when the wind picked up from the east and brought in thick clouds. She was reduced to sniffles when the sky opened and it started to pour rain. She was chilly and thoroughly soaked when she got out of the lookout tower and returned to her cottage.

  With only a thought, the fireplace and lamps sprang to life. She changed out of her clothes, let down her hair, and pulled on dry clothes. Feeling despondent, she watched the fire as it popped and danced. She thought of her family and friends, and about her place in the community.

  Donnan was very nervous the day of his date with Aolani. Clancy scolded him thoroughly for not paying attention, and he left fighting practice in a bad temper and a painful bruise on his arm. He dressed in his nicest clothes and went to the library.

  If Aolani noticed, she showed no sign of it and got right to tutoring.

  "Well, that's the hour," she said brightly.

  "Where would you like to go?"

  "There's a nice little coffee shop not too far away," she replied, gathering up her books. "But I can't stay more than an hour."

  "Dinner plans?"

  "Well, yes," she answered, as looked at him as though gaging his reaction.

  He tried not to show disappointment or jealousy. "Fine by me. I've got to get home anyway to make dinner."

  "Yes, that's right."

  They walked in silence to the coffee shop. Aolani ordered for them both, and they sat down at a small table near one of the windows.

  "If it's not too rude of me to ask," she started, "where are you getting the money to pay for this tutoring? I'm hardly the most expensive out there, but three times a week can get a little costly."

  "I got a new job," he answered simply.

  "Oh, that's good. What are you doing?"

  "Well, I guess this is as good a time to tell her. Find out what she thinks," he thought. "I'm doin' some messenger work. For the Temple of Night."

  She looked a bit taken aback. "Well, that's nice. I guess."

  "Come on, be honest," he sighed.

  "Are you sure?"

  He nodded.

  "I don't like the Order of Darkness. But then again, I knew very few people who do. I understand it has a place in society, and I know that it will help people out when they get in trouble. But that service comes with a price, and I think sometimes the price may be too high."

  "What price? Someone's soul?" he asked bitterly.

  "No. Not usually. I just don't think those are the sorts of people it's good to owe favors to. But again, I do know they will help people out when no one else will. I don't think that's a failing on the part of the Order, or of the people who go to them." She lowered her voice. "I think it's a failing on the part of the Order of Light."

  He looked at her, clearly surprised. "You really think so?"

  She nodded. "The Order of Darkness tends to find people who are in bad situations. People who are a little desperate, who feel they have no place else to go. That, to me, is what the Order of Light should provide. They should be the ones caring for those who are vulnerable, instead of allowing the Order of Darkness to prey upon them."

  "I guess you're right," he repl
ied. "I didn't think about it like that."

  "I wish the Order of Light would think about it like that. But I'm afraid that at least here the church has gotten too mixed up with politics and status."

  "I, uh, don't know a lot about politics. Or the church, really."

  She gave him a reassuring smile. "That's alright. Since my father is the mayor, I know all about politics whether I like it or not. And also about the church, since I attend regularly."

  "Oh. I don't go to church much at all."

  "A lot of people don't, sadly. Most of the people I see there are other politicians or wealthy merchants trying to make a good impression. You did go to the summer solstice ceremony."

  "Yeah. But I kind of had to. My boss gave us the day off to go. If we didn't go, we would've got in trouble," he replied.

  "I see. I'm glad that you were at least given the day off to go to the ceremony."

  There was an awkward pause.

  "So, Aolani, how's your little brother doin'? In the guard, I mean."

  "Kennet's doing fine. He wanted patrol duty, but Father pulled a few strings, and he's on guard duty in downtown. He's not very happy with Father right now. I think he was hoping Father would use his influence to get him patrol duty," she answered with a laugh.

  "Doesn't it bother her that her father does stuff like that?" he thought, but tried to hide his bitterness. "So patrol duty is good?"

  "For a new guard, yes, very good. Many of them get useless assignments, like guarding the library, or the court house, or town hall. Assignments where they won't learn anything, but aren't likely to need to know anything either."

  "Then how do they get patrol duty?"

  "Old guards retire, or decide they'd prefer