A Song of Snow and Ashes

to find out he seems like just another young man. Then we sort of backed off, and I told him I was sorry for all this."

  "Wait, wait. So you saw you? Saw what you looked like?"

  "Yes. My hood blew down. He did remark that I wasn't from around here."

  "But you didn't tell him your name, right?" he asked urgently.

  "No. I didn't give him any personal information at all. Why are you so alarmed?"

  "Your appearance sets you apart. He could give your description to the Order of Darkness and that would make it a lot easier to find you."

  "I thought the forest was warded because of the demians."

  "Well, yes, as far as we know. The wards have never been tested against such power," he replied, looking very worried. "This is bad. I'm afraid the Council will have to be told at once."

  "Oh, must they? They'll want to know what I was doing in Mulago in the first place. This is going to get you into a lot of trouble."

  He got up and started to pace nervously. "I know. But they must be aware of this. The Order has many resources, and there are traders that come into the city to pick up demian goods. They could send a spy."

  "Are you sure you're not overreacting? This is a big area. Even knowing what I look like would be like trying to find," she fumbled a moment to translate a common expression into an unfamiliar language,"like trying to find a glass bead in a sand dune."

  He gave a nervous laugh. "You may be right. You're probably right. But I have to tell them."

  "No, you don't. I really don't think anything is going to come of this, not right now. And if you tell the Council, then that's it. I get no more news, and they aren't ready to accept me. We need to stick to the plan," she said, her voice both pleading and determined.

  He looked at her with some surprise, still not accustomed the strength she could occasionally show. "Alright, although this is against my better judgment."

  "I'll be careful. I'll stay away from the traders, and listen for any unusual questions. I'll look immediately into the defensive magic and start casting circles of protection. I'll accept all the consequences of keeping this secret."

  "Very well. I can't ask for more than that." He sat back down. "What else troubles you?"

  "Am I supposed to kill him, Jomei?"

  "What?" the priest blurted, startled. "Kill who? The StormBringer?"

  She nodded.

  "I honestly don't know. I think that murder certainly goes against the Light, but I do understand there are situations when killing is acceptable. I certainly don't think it's good. I think you should find some other way of stopping him, if you can." He sighed. "But I think you should prepare yourself for the worst."

  "He's just a boy."

  "A boy?"

  "Well, not really. He's my age. Aidan's age. Davin's age. He could be one of the young men here. He could be the son of any of the Council members."

  "Oh, dear," he sighed.

  "He looked scared. I mean, I think he did. I don't think he understands what this is all about either. Can you imagine? You're just a young man, and suddenly you're told you have to fight for the Dark One for reasons you don't understand? It was hard enough on me being told I had to be a warrior for the Light, but to be told to fight for Darkness? It must be terrible."

  "It's good you feel such compassion, Eliora. I'm proud of you for being able to see that the StormBringer is not so different from you. But I'm afraid that sort of compassion might be dangerous. You might hesitate at the wrong moment, and then he'll kill you."

  "Do you really think he'll kill me? He didn't look like a killer."

  The priest sighed. "Perhaps not now. But he's under the influence of the Dark One. Perhaps even under the influence of the Order of Darkness. I'm sure they'll convince him in time he'll have to kill you."

  She stared into the fire. "I don't want to kill."

  "Nor should you have to. Maybe you won't have to. But please don't let your compassion get you killed. You must win this fight."

  "I understand. I think I'd like to be left alone now."

  He stood up. "People are asking about you. Shall I tell them that you're sick?"

  She nodded.

  "I understand. This was a much more difficult day than expected. I hope I have provided you with some small measure of comfort."

  "Yes."

  "I really am sorry," he said, and left.

  She went into the bedroom and spent twenty minutes struggling with the clothes. Finally she was free of them and suddenly found her usual clothes to feel as light and open as her robes. Then she called to the iridescents.

  "Yes, Mistress?" answered one, appearing from nowhere.

  "I told you to let me know if I was being followed."

  "We would have told you when you asked."

  She felt angry. "So you would have just let that creature follow me around until I remembered to ask?"

  "Yes, Mistress," it said, but didn't seem to register her anger. "We only do as we are told. You did not tell us how to let you know if you were being followed."

  "Oh, I see," she replied with a sigh and a frown. "Next time I'll be more specific. When did that it start to follow me?"

  "Soon after you parted with the ShadowWalker."

  "Thank you. Please let me know immediately if one of those creatures gets within two miles of the city."

  "Yes, Mistress."

  "You may go."

  It bowed and disappeared.

  She entered the living room and looked at the fire. It was burning a little more brightly now. She laid a couch cushion down on the floor about two feet in front of the grate and knelt down. In her own language, she started to pray. "God of Light, hear me. God of Light, show me. God of Light, guide me. God of Light, answer me."

  The fire popped and danced, then suddenly turned blue with heat and took the shape of a camel, a desert pack animal with long neck and four spindly legs.

  She almost laughed, she was so surprised to see her prayer result in such a familiar yet comical form. Her laugh stopped on her lips, though, when she heard an ethereal voice.

  "What do you want, my LightBearer?"

  She stared at the form. The voice was coming from it, although she could tell the fire form was just a shell. The eyes of the camel were empty. "I want to know what happens if I win this battle."

  "You will gain the elemental powers of the ShadowWalker. You will be the most powerful being the world, and will start a reign of Light upon the world."

  "Oh. Goodness. And if he wins?"

  "He will gain your elemental powers and be the most powerful being in the world. He will start a reign of Darkness upon the world."

  "Oh dear. So if I lose, that's it? The world is plunged into Darkness forever?"

  "Not forever. The battle does not end with you two."

  "What do You mean?"

  "That is not for you to know."

  Unsatisfied, she let this go. "Why did You do this? Pick humans to fight for You?"

  "We have learned that fighting each other directly only results in devastation for all. Our first effort to resolve the fight without direct confrontation has proved inconclusive. We have taken a different approach, and Chosen two Avatars to fight for us."

  "First effort? What first effort?"

  "That is not for you to know."

  "Alright. Well, why me? Why pick me of all the people in the world?"

  "Your soul had the qualities I desired. The life you were destined for had the qualities I desired."

  "And no one else would have served you as well?"

  "Others would have. But I Chose you."

  "So it was just luck?" she asked, barely believing this. She had always been taught the gods knew the future, at least to some degree.

  "Luck is but an illusion. I favored your soul and your life. My choice is part of the battle. But it is not for you to know too much. Just know this – you were Chose
n because I thought you could win for me."

  "Why was he picked? The poor young man who's the ShadowWalker?"

  "It is not for me to know the will of the Dark One."

  "Do-do I have to kill him?"

  "You must defeat him. How you do that is for you to decide."

  "That's good to know. I don't want to kill anyone." Then tears started to sting at her eyes as she remembered the darkling. "God, what are the darklings and iridescents?"

  "Darklings are creatures solely of Darkness. Iridescents are creatures solely of Light. They are neither human nor demian."

  "Do they have souls?"

  "Yes, and no."

  "Oh." Her voice started to tremble. "Is it wrong to kill them?"

  "Right and wrong are human constructs. In the end, there is only Light and Darkness."

  "Then is it evil to kill them?"

  "Good and evil are human constructs. In the end, there is only Light and Darkness."

  She was starting to get a bit frustrated. The god was answering, but she didn't understand the answers. She was reminded of her conversation with the iridescent, and decided to switch her line of questions. "Did You tell my Order of Light to send me here?"

  "No, I did not."

  "Then why did they do that?" she cried.

  "That is not for me to answer."

  "What? Why not? They're supposed to follow Your instructions."

  "And when I give them no instructions, they do what they will. I am not involved in every decision of the Order. Most choices must be made without divine intervention."

  "Then-then You don't advise them about the government?"

  "They use my gifts to find their own wisdom. I have answered enough of your questions for now. Do well, my LightBearer, and do not lose hope. This will turn out as it is meant to." With that, the form in the fire faded, and it returned to a cooler red-yellow color.

  Suddenly she was very tired and quite confused. She put the cushion back on the couch, then collapsed on it, fast asleep.

  She awoke some time later to the sound of a knock on her door and a man's voice calling her name. Rubbing her tired eyes, she opened the door and found not Aidan, as she expected, but Davin standing there with a bowl of stew.

  "Can I come in?"

  She nodded and waved him inside, still feeling groggy.

  "Jomei said you weren't feeling well. When you didn't show up for dinner, I thought I'd bring you some."

  "Thank you." She sat down and started to eat.

  He looked a little apprehensive. "Are you alright?"

  "Yes. I'm just not feeling well, and I'm quite tired."

  "I hope you feel better soon."

  She sighed. "We shall see."

  He gave her a curious look, and started to fidget.

  "Come on. You have something to tell me, so tell me," she said, with a reassuring and amused smile.

  "I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

  "Sorry for what?"

  "For getting so mad at you a few weeks ago. I was angry, but not at you. I shouldn't have taken that anger out on you. I don't quite understand why you want acceptance of the community so badly, but I should have respected your decision and not gotten angry. I said some things I shouldn't have said. You didn't deserve that. I really was a jackass, and I deserved to get shoved out of your house."

  "I'm glad you apologized. You're forgiven."

  "Just like that?"

  She nodded.

  "Well, that's really decent of you."

  "Thanks. When I finish dinner, would you like to play chess or something?"

  "I guess I could stand getting beaten again. And then maybe you could sing?"

  "Oh, not in front of the group," she replied quickly. "It'd be much too embarrassing. I wouldn't do it for you, except you already heard me."

  "Alright. Just for me then," he responded, with a slightly satisfied expression.

  She gave him a puzzled look.

  Seeing this, he suddenly became sheepish. "Well, do you want to play here? If you do, I need to go fetch a board," he said nervously.

  "Yes, bring a board here. Then I don't have go outside in the cold." Now she was amused as well.

  He stood up quickly. "You're right. If you're sick, you don't need to be outside. I'll be right back."

  "Some time I must ask him what he wants from me," she thought, eating her dinner. "I just don't understand this culture well enough." When he returned, she did not voice these thoughts. Instead she spent most of the evening trouncing him in chess, and then sang one long, but sad, song, and sent him away. Even though she had spent a lot of time asleep, she was tired, and the song brought back some of her confused emotions regarding the ShadowWalker.

  Donnan returned to his apartment. He still had a sick feeling in his stomach. He quietly stashed his books and new scrying dish in the crate with his old books. He knew Alain wouldn't be able to read the titles and so wouldn't worry about the subject matter, but his brother would realize the books were both new and very expensive, and that would raise uncomfortable questions. He had already canceled fighting practice for the day, and had no tutoring session, so he pulled out the Book of Lunae and sat down to read for a while. He wanted to talk to Blake, but knew he'd be busy with his duties until dinner time.

  He became so engrossed in the book he lost track of time.

  "What're you readin'?" came Alain's voice.

  He jumped, startled. He snapped the book shut. "Nothin' important." He quickly stuffed it in the crate.

  The older man yawned, too groggy to notice the new book smell or the black cover. "You makin' dinner tonight, or do I have to find my own?"

  "I'll cook," he replied, and realized he was quite hungry, having missed lunch.

  "What's wrong?" Alain asked.

  "What makes you think anythin's wrong?"

  "You're all jumpy and snappin' for one. You look like you saw a ghost or somethin'. What happened to shake you up so bad?"

  He didn't reply.

  "You're havin' doubts again," commented Alain shrewdly.

  "What?"

  "Whatever you've been up to the last few weeks, somethin' happened and now you're havin' doubts about whether you're doin' the right thing."

  He gave his brother a startled look. "How in blazes does he know these things?" he thought, but again did not reply.

  "Hey, fair enough. It's your life. But don't ignore what your gut says. And when you want to let me know what you've been doin', I'm ready to listen."

  This struck him as rather condescending, which annoyed him. "What does he know?" he thought bitterly. "Being ready to listen doesn't mean he's ready to deal with what I could say."

  They finished their meal in silence, and Donnan cleaned up.

  "You goin' out to tonight?" Alain asked.

  "Yeah. I'm goin' to meet with Blake."

  The older man didn't quite suppress a sigh. "I know Blake's your best friend and all, but I wish you'd talk to me instead of him. Or at least both of us."

  "It's my life," he snapped.

  "Yeah, I know. But you're my brother. I worry about you."

  "I can take care of myself."

  "Yeah, I know. I know that. Doesn't stop me from worryin' though."

  "Don't you have some friends to meet or somethin'?" he asked rudely.

  Alain could take a hint. "Yeah, sure." He went into the bedroom and donned his armor.

  Donnan savagely scrubbed down the dirty dishes.

  "Hey, I'm sorry if I've been houndin' you lately about what you're doin'. I just don't like the Order. Maybe that's narrow-minded of me. You just do what you think's best, alright? And I'll try to be more understandin'."

  "Ah, damn it," he thought, his anger draining away at the concern evident in Alain's voice.

  "Just take care of yourself. Remember, you're my brother, and I'll stand by you no matter what. I'll see you tomorrow." With that, he was gone. r />
  "Gods, why does he have to be so damn noble?" he thought irritably, although he was grateful for his brother's loyalty. He finished washing the dishes and dumped out the water. He fetched his new scrying dish, which turned out to be a dull black, shallow bowl, and the Book of Lunae. He flipped through a few pages, read a bit, set the bowl on the floor, then filled the bowl with water. He consulted the book again, knelt down, and started to pray. "'Dark One, your servant calls you,'" he read aloud. "Servant? I hate that." He sighed and continued to read. "'I am seeking answers. I cannot find them in the Light, so I seek them in the Darkness. Please hear my prayer. Please answer my questions, for I have no place else to turn.'"

  The water in the bowl suddenly started to move, froze over, and took the form of a winged lizard-like creature.

  "What do you want, my ShadowWalker?" the form asked, its voice ethereal and almost a hiss.

  He stared. Wyverns were extremely rare and it took him a moment to even figure out what it was. He realized immediately that the eyes of the ice creature were empty, although he recognized the voice of the god. "What happens if I win?"

  "You will gain the elemental powers of the LightBearer. You will be the most powerful being the world, and will start a reign of Darkness upon the world."

  "Reign of Darkness?" he repeated, a slow, cold, horror coming over him. "I don't want that."

  "It matters not what you want. You were Chosen to fight for me, and you will do that," came the voice of the god, with some force behind it.

  He winced. "But-but I don't want Darkness to rule the world forever."

  "It matters not what you want." This time the voice hurt in his mind. "Your victory is not forever. The battle does not end with you two."

  "It's not? Then what's point?" he demanded, starting to getting angry.

  "You do not need to know. This is a matter between the gods. You will not defy me, mortal."

  He clapped his hand over his ears, but that didn't help. "Oh, god, I was afraid of this. I knew it was bad when the god saved my life. I knew It was going to ask for something like this as repayment," he thought. "Why did you pick me? I'm nobody. Why not pick a priest or someone?"

  "Your soul had the qualities I desired. The life you were destined for had the qualities I desired."

  "And you couldn't have picked any one else?"

  "I could have, but I Chose you."

  "So it was just bad luck?"

  "Luck is but an illusion. I favored your soul and your life. My choice is part of the battle. But it is not for you to know too much. Just know this – you were Chosen because I thought you could win for me."

  "Well, at least I know the god could have picked someone else," he thought, not reassured. "Do I have to kill the LightBearer?"

  "You are expected to win. How you do that is for you to decide. However, killing the LightBearer would result in a victory."

  "But I don't want to kill her."

  "It matters not what you want. You will do what you must to win."

  The pain would have driven him to his knees if he wasn't already kneeling. Tears stung his eyes. "Oh god, oh god," he thought.

  "You belong to me, mortal. You are my Avatar. You belong to the Darkness. You will fight for me. You will do what you must to win for me." With that, the ice shattered and the presence of the god left the room.

  Donnan fell backwards, breathing heavily and shivering. He was tired and frightened, but he dared not sleep. When he calmed down, he replaced the dish and the bowl, the made his way through the dark and chilly streets to the Temple of Night. It didn't take him long to find Blake.

  "Hey, Donnan..." he started cheerfully, then his voice faded. "Gods. What happened?"

  "We