A Song of Snow and Ashes

I've never seen your place."

  He smiled. "Let's go then."

  He was making breakfast the next morning when he heard a knock at the door. "Oh, right, Alain," he thought, and called, "Come in."

  "Tell me you've got some tea," he said, sitting down at the table.

  "You look like a drowned rat."

  "Yeah, you're half right anyway. I thought it was goin' to be pretty dry night but not two hours into my shift this storm blows in from nowhere and it starts pourin' rain."

  "Weird," Donnan said guiltily, setting down a cup.

  Alain gave him a suspicious look, but didn't press the subject. "So when I was comin' to see you I swear a saw Aolani hailin' a coach right in front of this very apartment building."

  He blushed deeply but looked smug. "She said she had to get ready for work or she would've stayed for breakfast."

  "Huh. I didn't know you two were hittin' it off that well."

  "Well, we are and we did."

  "Oh, well, good for you. She's beautiful. You couldn't do better," Alain said, but he looked unsettled. "So, how are things?"

  A couple of days later he was out having drinks with Blake and told him about his evening with Aolani, omitting the part about the spell. He was still so elated that he didn't notice Blake was not sharing his joy. In fact, Blake got more depressed and thoughtful the longer they talked.

  "You know, I just realized you haven't said anything to me for half an hour. I haven't even gotten to the best part," Donnan said as they walked back to the temple.

  "I'm surprised you noticed," he said dryly.

  "I thought you'd be happy for me, finally gettin' the girl of my dreams."

  "I would be, if you were being honest with me."

  "What? What makes you think I'm not?"

  "You've been my best friend for six years and you don't think I can't tell when you're lyin' to me or hiding something?" he snapped.

  "Hey, sorry. But I still don't know why you think I'm hidin' something."

  "Donnan," he said in a low voice, "Tell me the truth. Did you use that charm spell on Aolani?"

  "What? Why do you think that? You think I can't win a girl like that on my own?"

  "You're being awfully defensive for a guy that's done nothing wrong," he said dryly.

  "If you're going to accuse me of lyin', maybe I shouldn't talk to you," he retorted, feeling unreasonably angry. "What makes you think I've done something wrong? I mean, besides the stuff you already know about?"

  "I've been paying attention, you know. I've been trying to look out for you as best I can."

  "Alain says that too. I can take care of myself."

  "Yeah, well, it never hurts to have extra eyes and ears, especially since the equinox. He keeps an eye on you too."

  "What do you know about what he does?"

  "Your brother has come to talk to me a few times since he found out about you."

  "He what?" Donnan stuttered. "He doesn't like you."

  "He doesn't like the Order," Blake correctly gently. "I don't think he has anything against me in particular. At least, that's what he says and he's a pretty honest guy, so I believe him. He told me that Aolani spent the night at your apartment."

  "Yeah, I just told you that too."

  "You weren't getting on that well with her."

  "I was getting on better with her than you two think," he snapped.

  "You're lying again. When's the last time you talked with Alain anyway? Really talked to him?"

  "What's that have to do with this?"

  "Did you know that Kennet has been assigned to Alain's guard troop? They're often partnered together on the night watch."

  "Who's Kennet? I know that name."

  "Aolani's younger brother. So they talk, and what Alain told me is that Aolani's been very unhappy. It seems most of her potential suitors and friends have stopped talking to her and won't tell her why. She seems to think it's the political situation and so does Kennet, but Alain doesn't think so. Three days ago, according to Kennet, she was ready to pack up her things and move out. She was even lining up job interviews and planning to look at apartments somewhere. Meldon, I think. Anyway, two days ago she comes home after spending the night out, which she hasn't done in a very long time, and abruptly drops her plans for moving."

  "So she wasn't really goin' to go," Donnan said. "Why was Alain tellin' you this anyway?"

  "Because he knows I know more about what you do than he does. He knows you don't tell him about a lot of things because it would upset him."

  "So you told him what I've been doing?" he accused.

  "Of course not. I'd never do that. I just told him I'd talk to you. He thought something weird was going on with Aolani's friends anyway and now she's acting strange. I know what you did to her suitors. I'd guess you did it to her friends so you could have more time with her. But did you actually use that spell on her?"

  "Oh, come on, give me a break. Yeah, I did, but she was goin' to leave. Just leave, just like that. I couldn't let her go. I tried to talk her out of it, like I told you, I just didn't do it. She got all mad at me and said it would be best if we didn't see each other for two whole weeks. Even after I told her everythin' I've done for her, she still didn't want to stay. So I just changed her mind a little. That's all."

  "That's all?"

  "Look, the spell will wear off. I mean, it fades away with time. It's just to put in her into a different way of thinkin'. By the time the spell wears off it'll be after the solstice and I won't have to worry about anythin'. She'll have forgotten all about leavin' by then and we'll keep seein' each other so she'll want to be with me."

  "You know you'll probably have to kill your counterpart to keep your power."

  "What? Yeah, I know that. Why bring that up now?"

  "Do you think you'll regret it?"

  "Sure. What are you goin' on about, Blake?"

  "Do you think it'll be worth it to kill her? So you can keep your power and your girl?"

  "Anything's worth it for Aolani," he said.

  "What if you have to keep using that spell on her? What if you have to use that spell on Adrie, or even Alain, to keep her around?"

  "I wouldn't do that to Alain."

  "You sure?"

  "What're you getting at, Blake?"

  The acolyte stopped and sighed. "I've been your best friend for years. I've seen you do awful things and good things. I know what you've done to keep your job with Adrie and I know what you've had to hide from your brother. You never tried to keep something from me until now. You know you've done something awful, I mean really and truly awful, or you wouldn't have tried to keep it from me. This is the first time I've really been ashamed of you."

  It took a few minutes before he could find a reply. Blake continued walking. "Look, where do you get off judgin' me like this?" he demanded. "You're a Dark acolyte for gods' sake and you're ashamed of me? You haven't said a word about anythin' else. You were encouragin' me to use mind magic on Adrie and now you're bein' all righteous?"

  "Keep your voice down. And this is different," he said, going into the temple.

  Donnan followed him to his room and slammed the door behind him. "Oh yeah? Then tell me why this is different."

  "What've done for the Order and for Adrie is business. You did what you needed in order to protect yourself and get ahead. It's all politics and I understand that. It's not personal. It's just how it goes. Aolani was personal. She's the woman you've been chasin' after for almost as long as I've known you. And you enchanted her to get your way. I didn't think you'd go so low. Would you do that to me if I did something you didn't like? Or Alain?"

  "Of course not."

  "Yeah, you say that, but if I asked you a month ago if you'd ever do something like that to Aolani, you'd say the same thing and be insulted I even asked. That's why I didn't ask. I didn't think I'd need to. Business is business. But friends and family aren't bus
iness. Messin' with them is personal. It just isn't done."

  "I'm sure your fellow clerics would disagree."

  He cleaned his glasses thoughtfully. "You know, you'd be surprised how many of them agree with me. Business is business. We get that. But you mess with me or mine, you get hurt."

  "Yeah, but your business is someone else's family or friends. You're all a bunch of damned hypocrites."

  "Fine, fine, maybe you have a point there. I'm just saying, this doesn't sit right at all. I should have said something sooner. It didn't sit right with me when you started doin' this to her suitors, but I figured, what did it matter? She'd find more. You didn't even mention what you were doin' to her friends. And you know, this is a lot of magic to be throwin' around."

  "It's all mind magic. Who's going to figure that out?"

  "Your brother will."

  "But he knows me."

  "Her brother knows something's weird. Whether it'll get back to you, I don't know. But you have to be careful. Maybe you should lay off of it for a bit."

  "Oh, so first you encourage me to do this stuff," he said angrily, "then you tell me you're ashamed because you think I made it too personal, and now you're telling me I've been careless? What in darkness is wrong with you?"

  "I'm worried about you. This isn't good for your soul."

  "Yeah, well, bein' the Dark Avatar isn't good for my soul," he hissed. "So now I'm usin' that power and you're tellin' me not to?"

  "I just think you should consider how you use it. Consider this, Donnan. How many clerics of my Order do you know actually use any magic? It's not as though the god can't or doesn't give us powerful magic. Most clerics chose not to ask because it's dangerous to us. It's