A Song of Snow and Ashes

enough for that."

  "I was just trying to be your friend," she said, blushing slightly.

  "I know. That's the most amazing part of it all. You were kind, you were gentle, and you were willing to listen. You were just trying to be my friend."

  She leaned into him and they lapsed again into silence for awhile. "Are you sure about this?" she asked as he stroked her hair. "You saw what I did today. I know it's frightening. And I think I'll have even more power once the battle is over."

  "Eliora, I would never offer if I didn't think I couldn't handle what was coming. You let me worry about me. You worry about this battle and yourself."

  She yawned.

  "You should get to bed."

  "I should stay here just in case something happens tonight."

  "Alright, but you should go to bed anyway."

  She blushed furiously.

  "I'll take the couch. You go on," he said gently.

  She stood up. "I could still lose," she said.

  "I know."

  "And you're alright with that?"

  "The risk of loss is one we all take when we care about others," he replied.

  "I guess that's true. I never really thought about it."

  "Most people don't. Trust me, Eliora, I've thought this one through."

  "And I hardly ever think anything through," she said, smiling. "I guess we complement each other well, strengths and weaknesses and all."

  "And that's how it should be. Goodnight."

  "Goodnight," she said, and went to bed.

  In less than a month spring would officially give way to summer. Renfrew was warming up. Donnan had considered Blake's concerns, but mostly ignored them. He did use the domination mind spell on Adrie so she wouldn't make trouble for him and had her give him a nice raise in the bargain. He reluctantly removed the mind spells from Aolani's friends, but not her suitors or her. However, he didn't renew the spell either. He told himself he'd remove all the spells after the summer solstice. He also had checked the state of his soul and was surprised at how Dark it had become. This frightened and disturbed him, so he vowed not to use so much power. However, once aware of the Darkness it was hard to ignore that power as it constantly tugged at his soul.

  There was an expected knock at the door. "Come in, Alain," he called.

  His brother walked in looking tired as usual.

  "You know, I could get you a better job," he said. "Or you could try to get a different shift. You always look so dead tired."

  The older man shrugged. "I like the guard and I like night shift. I feel useful. Anyway, it's good experience to help me get to investigator someday."

  "You really think you'll get to investigator? I mean, you aren't really the right class."

  "Hey, it is possible to make it without bein' the right class. A lot of investigators got their job through skill."

  "Skill alone?" Donnan asked.

  Alain sighed. "Mostly skill anyway." His eyes fell on a gauzy purple scarf hanging over a chair in the living room and narrowed. "Was Aolani here again?"

  "Yeah, but how did you know that?"

  "I'm payin' attention," he said.

  Donnan followed his brother's eyes. "Oh, she must have left that. Well, maybe you'll make investigator after all."

  "Didn't Blake talk to you?"

  "Yes," he said tightly.

  "She's hangin' out with her friends again, but you're the only guy."

  "We're exclusive now."

  "I don't think that would discourage too many guys away from a woman like Aolani. I heard she was exclusive with Reese for a while and still had plenty of men tryin' to get her attention."

  "You can't believe everything you hear."

  "Guards do gossip but they're usually truthful about it."

  "Are you about to give me another lecture?" he asked.

  "Yeah. Seems like it's time for one, maybe even past time."

  "I don't want to hear it," he snapped.

  "Well, you're goin' to. I'm not goin' to lay into you about whatever you do for the Order or for the Salt Guild, but you know castin' that spell on Aolani and her suitors is wrong."

  "Blake said he wouldn't tell you about that," he exclaimed, suddenly angry.

  "He didn't. I guessed and you just confirmed it."

  "Oh. Is that some sort of guard trick?" he asked nastily.

  "It is. So I'm also guessin' that spell makes people take your suggestions even if they usually wouldn't."

  Donnan seethed, but said nothing.

  "Right. Well, fine, you told her suitors to go away. Then you told her friends to go away. Then she decides she's goin' to go away and you tell her to stay. That's bad enough, but you took her to bed. And damn it, when a Dark acolyte tells you that this kind of thing is wrong, you damn well ought to listen. Instead, you're still doing it."

  "I haven't cast anymore spells on her," he shot back.

  "Yeah, well, you haven't removed any, have you?"

  "Sure I have."

  "And now you're lyin' to me. Gods damn it, I thought you knew better. You can't just use your power like this! You can't take away other people's choices."

  "Why can't I use my power anyway I want?" he demanded. "Who's going to stop me?"

  "That's not the point, damn it," Alain shouted. "Just because you want to and you can doesn't mean you should. Damn it, didn't all those years were we put down and held back teach you that lesson? What makes you so different from every boss that cheated us out of a paycheck because he could? Or every guard that ever messed with us because he could? Huh?"

  "Hey, I'm not just messin' with people because I can. I just want to get what I deserve. I want a good job and I want a wonderful woman. I'm just doin' what I have to. It's not like I'm beatin' people up in dark alleys or tryin' to overthrow governments," he yelled.

  "Damn it, it don't matter what you're doin', it matters how you're doin' it," Alain replied, frustrated but slightly diminished in volume. "Look, you know you're doin' wrong or you'd tell me what you're doin'. Gods, you're even lyin' to Blake now and he knows what you're doin'. I was so proud of you for not joinin' the Order of Darkness. I knew you thought that was an easy way, a cheatin' way, to try to overcome being poor and low class. I was proud because you were tryin' to work your way up honestly. But now you got power and you're abusin' it. I'm ashamed and disgusted to be your brother right now."

  That stung him into silence.

  Then there came a very small and unexpected knock at the door.

  "Come in," Donnan called.

  Aolani shuffled into the room and carefully shut the door behind her. Her face was pale but her eyes were red-rimmed from crying.

  "Aolani? What're you doing here?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

  "I left my scarf. I came back to get it. You-you were shouting," she said, trying to stifle a sob. She swallowed hard. "I overheard. It was rude, but I overheard."

  The color drained from his face.

  "Oh, gods," Alain muttered.

  "What did you hear?" Donnan asked, now just trying not to sound too anxious.

  "I heard enough. I-I didn't know you were mage. I don't mind. I'm not afraid like a lot of people. I know why you wanted to learn Arcana now. But-but I heard him say you cast a spell on me. Some kind of mind spell. Did you do that?"

  "I think you misheard," he answered.

  "You're goin' to lie to her with me standin' here?" Alain snapped.

  "You did. It makes some sense now. Why my suitors went away. Why my friends went away. Why everyone was so surprised I stopped planning to move away." A few tears slipped down her cheeks. "Why did you do that? Didn't you trust me? Didn't you trust my judgment? I thought-I thought you liked me. I thought we were friends. I thought we were maybe more than friends. How could you? How could you?"

  "I didn't want you to go."

  "You lied to me. You-you took away my friends. You forced
me to stay." Now her face was flushed scarlet with anger. "You took me to bed. To bed!" She walked right up to him and slapped him across the face.

  It left a red hand print on his pale cheek.

  "You take that spell off of me right now! Right now. You take it off. I-I won't turn you into the mages because you were my friend. But you take that spell off and I never want to see you again."

  "Aolani, please, let's talk about this."

  "No!" She tried to calm herself as the tears fell freely down her face. "No. We're past talking. You take that spell off of me right now!"

  He looked at her, then looked at his brother, who was standing with his arms crossed and an angry expression on his face. But he felt the Dark power within him. "I want so little in my life," he thought angrily. "What gives Alain the right to boss me around any more? I'll take the spell off after the solstice. But right now, I'd better make her forget this." He cast a spell on her that would make her very sleepy and forget the conversation by the time she woke up. "Alright, I'm done," he said.

  She blinked a few times. "Alright. I'm leaving now. I'm really sorry you couldn't trust me," she said, and picked up her scarf and marched out the door.

  "Not a blazing word, Alain," he snapped.

  "I think Aolani pretty much said it all. You know better and this is what you get for it."

  "Yeah, well, you're a self-righteous jackass and you can get out of my apartment," he retorted, and opened the front door. "Go on. I've had enough of your lectures. You've got no right to tell me what to do."

  Alain just shook his head and walked out the door.

  Donnan followed by casting the same spell on his brother as he had Aolani. "Just so you don't get all suspicious when she's still seein' me," he thought guiltily. "It's better this way. Damn it, Alain, if