A Secret Kiss

  * * *

  “Sakura!” Sebastian shouted, waking himself up. His breathing was labored, and his heart was thumping hard within his chest. He sat up and rubbed his temple, realizing it was only a dream.

  “Sakura,” he said softly under his breath. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

  The incident—he had forgotten about that until now. But did he really forget about it, or was it that the incident was too painful for him to bear and his brain had chosen to block that memory from his mind?

  The drowning. Yes, it all came back to him now—everything. The real reason he had taken up swimming professionally, the reason he’d become so strong and so fast. The races. He remembered now why he had won so many races during his teenage years, both nationally and internationally. It had been because every time he got into the water, he’d see little Sakura again, see her drowning and begging for his help. Thus he’d use all his power, kicking and stroking faster in order to redeem himself, in order to save her. But he had never saved her, and instead he’d won so many races, so many trophies. It had never been the trophies, however, that he wanted. It had always been Sakura. Yes, Sakura was his real trophy.

  Eventually he quit swimming professionally, as Sakura had begun to fade from his mind and disappeared completely from his memory. What is the point? he’d asked himself. Why was he swimming professionally when he had no passion for it?

  “Sakura,” he whispered under his breath. “I couldn’t save you yet again.

  That was when he heard the scream from next door. It was loud and full of fear. Sebastian dashed off his bed and out the door in two seconds flat. He met Darcy in the corridor. The brothers looked at each other, and as if they understood each other without having to speak, Sebastian opened Sakura’s door and hurried inside. Darcy followed.

  She wasn’t in bed. They found her hugging herself and Toby, who was whimpering with concern, into a ball in the darker corner of the bedroom.

  Sebastian rushed to her and kneeled beside her. Gently he stroked her hair from her face, and slowly he nudged her face up to look at him.

  Sebastian felt as though a professional boxer suddenly slammed his mighty fist into his stomach the moment he saw her face. She was sheet white, and her eyes were large like a frightened child.

  He pulled her to him so he wouldn’t alarm her. She didn’t fight him, and he was pleased.

  “It’s okay,” he said softly. “It’s just a nightmare.”

  Sakura shook her head and bit her lip. “The water! It was trying to take me. I can’t go. Not yet. I can’t leave Toby behind.”

  In response, Toby rubbed his head against her chest, telling her he understood.

  “Shh… It’s only a nightmare,” Sebastian said. “See, you’re still here.”

  She looked up at him and blinked. “You’re not Daddy James.”

  The situation was serious, yet Sebastian wanted to laugh. If Nicolas were here, she would have thought he was Daddy James and wouldn’t hesitate to go into his arms and let him comfort her.

  “No, I’m not,” he said softly.

  Suddenly she surprised him by moving into his arms and hugging him tightly, her face snuggling securely against his massive chest, tears in her eyes. He was pleased because that meant she allowed him to cuddle her even though he wasn’t her Daddy James.

  Oh yes, he remembered that time long ago when Sakura had countless nightmares. Their dad had always been there for her, hugging her and telling her everything was all right. And he, Sebastian, would watch from the distance. Once again, he remembered her words she had softly utter to their dad.

  “Do you love me?”

  “Of course I do. With all my heart,” their father had said.

  “Then only love me in secret. I don’t want to hurt my siblings.”

  “You’re Sebastian.” Her voice penetrated his mind. He watched her as she gazed up at him, her eyes large and glistening with tears. “You’re Sebastian,” she repeated weakly. “Sebastian who saved me. I was so cold, and you were so warm. My chest hurt. My body hurt. There was a fire in the cave. You hugged me. You said you liked me, but you don’t like me as your sister. I was so sad, so very sad. But you kissed me. Then I was happy again, so very happy.”

  She moved her face and sleepily looked at Darcy. She whispered, “Darce. My Darce. But you’re no longer my Darce. You hate me now. Why?” She turned and snuggled her face back against Sebastian’s warm chest. “Please don’t kill me yet. I want to go to Mary’s wedding first, and I want to meet my real mother… Then you can kill me, Tara, Alaina. I want to meet my real mother,” she murmured softly. “She gave me my name. Sakura means cherry blossom. She gave me my necklace. I’m going to find her. I want to call her okasama. It means mother in Japanese. Yes, I want to call her okasama so much…”

  The brothers noted that her eyes were now closed and she was rocking herself back and forward. Darcy bent down and took Toby from her. The dog groaned, wanting to go back to his master, but Darcy was firm.

  “Hush!” he said to Toby as he petted him.

  “Yes,” Sebastian said, placing his hand under her slender legs. Then he lifted her. “You’ll meet your real mother soon. You’ll find her.”

  “Yes, real soon,” she murmured under her breath. “I’ll meet her real soon.”

  Sebastian placed her on her bed and pulled the blanket up to her neck. Soon she was in deep sleep. The two brothers stood there, watching the woman who had affected them so much, both mentally and emotionally, in these past few days. She had brought back their memories of their childhood, of the pain and of the pleasure of being with her. Now more than ever, they both realized they no longer wanted to forget about her, no longer wanted their memories of her to lie dormant in their minds. No, what they wanted now more than ever was to embrace her, to welcome her into their arms—not as a sister, but as the woman they had always wanted and loved.

  A few moments later, after they were satisfied she wasn’t going to have another nightmare, the brothers headed out the door.

  “Want some coffee?” Sebastian asked at the corridor.

  “Yeah, why not?” Darcy said, leading the way with Toby in his arms.

  “Can’t guarantee it’ll be as good as Sakura’s, though,” Sebastian said. “By the way, maybe you should put on a shirt. It is rather cold.”

  Darcy nodded and gave Toby to Sebastian.

  Sebastian said before his brother could disappear, “Don’t forget. We have our hair appointment at ten.”

  Darcy groaned. “Shit!” he muttered under his breath.

  Sebastian laughed. “It’s for our dear cousin’s sake. You know Mary’ll flip if she sees you with such long hair at her wedding.”

  “Speak for yourself,” Darcy said. “Yours is almost as long as mine.” With that, Darcy disappeared into his room.