The Ayatollah's Money

  Chapter 6 – Hanging With the Junes

  Where the hell she was, was hanging out with the Junes in London. The day after meeting them in The Savoy restaurant and eating duck and roasted garlic potatoes (the burgundy went so WELL with the duck), she went to Chartres Cathedral, and the day after that she went with them to Kew Gardens, and the day after that to the Vic and Alby Museum. Each day they drank a different type of wine with lunch and a different type with dinner. The first day, she didn’t do very well in the stamina department, not being used to drinking in general, and definitely not at lunch. She got pretty wiped out in the afternoon, but rallied for the Bordeaux at dinner. The next day she did better, getting the hang of it, watching how Gwenny and Roger drank, and by the end of the fifth day she was in decent wine drinking shape.

  During these days the Junes followed their precept that asking a person questions is not a civilized form of communication. They didn’t ask her ‘what do you do?’ or ‘where are you from’ or ‘why are you alone’ or any of that nosey stuff. They talked about gardens and art and museums and wine. The Junes are mad about wine, but are skilled at not falling into the clutches of alcoholism. The three of them ate and drank well, but also walked and walked and walked, which was necessary for Gwenny to keep that figure that would make Sharon Stone weep. One day when they were eating langoustines and drinking champagne about 3pm in the afternoon, Roger started talking about women’s fashions, analyzing how other women in the garden restaurant were dressed.

  He would start at their feet and work his way up, giving special attention to anyone wearing a hat, which he loved. Of course, he loved well-dressed women all the way from their toes to their noses, but he really liked hats, and said wearing one was a lost art. The key to wearing a hat, he discoursed, was keeping the women’s ears in view. He said that women’s ears were very sexy, and anything that covered them up, like hair or a hat, studiously must be avoided.

  Gwen knew the answer to a certain question, but she asked it anyway, just for the fun of it. “Why are a woman’s ears sexy?”

  He said, “Actually, it’s not her ears that are sexy, it’s what’s behind them that’s sexy, and if you cover them up you also cover that up.”

  “What’s sexy about the place behind a woman’s ears?” asked Laleh, who thought this was a very interesting conversation.

  “That’s the best place to kiss a woman. Right behind her ears. You have the hair going on, and the throat, and hopefully some perfume, preferably OPIUM, and you can put your arms around a woman from the back and have something great to hang on to, and, well, they just seem to like that a lot.” Roger took a sip of champagne.

  Laleh looked at Gwen, who didn’t say anything, but blinked her eyes in confirmation. Laleh wasn’t sure she’d had exactly the same experience that Gwen had, but she filed this information away for future use. She also thought, 'Praise Allah, this combination of langoustines and champagne is unbelievably good,' and said, “Can we have this again for lunch tomorrow?”

  Gwen nodded, and asked Roger, “Is that the only really good place to kiss a woman?”

  Roger thought, ‘Good God, langoustines and champagne go so well together,’ and said, "Not the only great place, but the only great place you can talk about at lunch." He was well versed in Gwenny’s tricks. “See that women behind the guy with the silver tie? Pretty, but she could be so much more so just by tucking her hair behind her ears. That way, we see the place right next to the place that’s so great for kissing, and our fantasies have so much more to feast on.”

  Laleh, emboldened by the wine, said, “You fantasize a lot about that stuff?”

  “All the time. Try never to let a day go by without one of those fantasies. Very good for the imagination and the spirit.”

  Laleh looked at Gwen, who said, “Fine by me. I’m always the beneficiary.”

  Roger, teasing, said, “How do you know you’re the only beneficiary? What about the objects of my fantasizing? How do you know they don’t benefit?”

  Laleh waited with baited breath for the answer to that one. Gwen looked at her and said, “He prefers life to death, so I know they don’t benefit.” Laleh thought about the belief in all the male members of her family that they would enjoy the benefits of forty virgins if they died honorably, but didn’t voice it, not being sure yet of the June’s spiritual beliefs.

  Roger stopped talking about hats and started talking about jewelry, and how women can use it to express their mood. He said, “Gold stuff usually is for French based feelings of contented personal power. Pearls are for Italian based feelings of light and elegant refinement. And green jade marks Far-eastern feelings of spice and sassiness. If you know stuff like this you can decipher the mood of any woman, just from her jewelry.” There was one langoustine left on Gwen’s plate, and he eyed it covetously. His mind switched from jewelry to what he could offer Gwen in exchange for the little lobster.

  Laleh thought about the male members of her family, and she was pretty sure none of them had the same fantasy life as Roger June.