From the Land of Fear
I nudged him aside and slid into the bucket. The scope was trained on Mars. The Martian sky was burning, too. The same pinpoints of light, the same intense pyrotechnics spiraling down. We had alloted the evening to a study of the red planet, for it was clear in that direction, and I saw it all very sharply, as brightnesses and darkness again, all across the face of the planet.
“Call Bikel at Wilson,” I told Portales. “Ask him about Venus.”
Behind me I heard Portales dialing the closed circuit number, and I half-listened to his conversation with Aaron Bikel at Mt. Wilson. I could see the flickering reflections of the vid-screen on the phone as they washed across the burnished side of the scope. But I didn’t turn around; I knew what the answer would be.
Finally, he hung up, and the colors died. “The same,” he said sharply, as though defying me to come up with an answer. I didn’t bother snapping back at him. He had been bucking for my job as Director of the Observatory for nearly three years now, and I was accustomed to his antagonisms—desperately as I had to machinate occasionally to keep him in his place.
I watched for a while longer, then left the dome.
I went downstairs and tuned in my short-wave radio, trying to find out what Tokyo or Heidelburg or Johannesburg had to say. I wasn’t able to catch any mention of the phenomena during the short time I fiddled with the sweep, but I was certain they were seeing it the same everywhere else.
Then I went back to the Dome, to change the settings on the scope.
After an argument with Portales, I beamed the scope down till it was sharp to just inside the atmospheric blanket. I tipped in the sweeper and tried a fast scan of the sky, but continued to miss the bursts of light at the moment of their explosion. So I cut in the photo mechanism and set a wide angle to it. Then I cut off the sweep and started clicking them off. I reasoned that the frequency of the lights would inevitably bring one into photo focus.
Then I went downstairs, back to the short-wave. I spent two hours with it and managed to pick up a news broadcast from Switzerland. I had been right, of course.
Portales rang me after two hours and said we had a full reel of photos, and should he have them developed. This was too big to trust to his adolescent whims, and rather than have him fog up a valuable photo, I told him to leave them in the container, and I’d be right up, to handle it myself.
When the photos came out of the solution, I had to finger through thirty or forty of empty space before I caught ten that had what I wanted.
They were not meteorites.
On the contrary.
Each of the flames in the sky was a creature. A living creature. But not human. Far from it.
The photos told what they looked like, but not till the Project Snatch ship went up and sucked one off the sky did we realize how large they were, that they glowed with an inner light of their own and—that they were telepathic.
From what I can gather, it was no problem catpuring one. The ship opened its cargo hatch and turned on the sucking mechanisms used to drag in flotsam from space. The creature, however, could have stopped itself from being dragged into the ship, merely by placing one of its seven-taloned hands on either side of the hatch, and resisting the sucker. But it was interested, as we learned later; it had been five thousand years, and they had not known we had come so far, and the creature was interested. So it came along.
When they called me in, along with five hundred-odd other scientists (and Portales managed to wangle himself a place in the complement), we went to the Smithsonian, where they had had him installed, and marveled—just stood and marveled.
He—or she, we never knew—resembled the Egyptian god Ra. It had the head of a hawk, or what appeared to be a hawk, with great slitted eyes of green in which flecks of crimson and amber and black danced. Its body was thin to the point of emaciation, but humanoid with two arms and two legs. There were bends and joints on the body where no such bends and joints existed on a human, but there was a definite chest cavity, and obvious buttocks, knees, and chin. The creature was a pale, milky-white, except on the hawk’s-crest which was a brilliant blue, fading down into white. It’s beak was light blue, also blending into the paleness of its flesh. It had seven toes to the foot, seven talons to the hand.
The God Ra. God of the Sun. God of light.
The creature glowed from within with a pale, but distinct aura that surrounded it like a halo. We stood there, looking up at it in the glass cage. There was nothing to say; there it was, the first creature from another world. We might be going out into space in a few years—farther, that is, than the Moon, which we had reached in 1970, or Mars that we had circumnavigated in 1976—but for now, as far as we knew, the Universe was wide and without end, and out there we would find unbelievable creatures to rival any imagining. But this was the first.
We stared up at it. The Being was thirteen feet tall.
Portales was whispering something to Karl Leus from Caltech. I snorted to myself at the way he never gave up; for sheer guff and grab I had to hand it to him. He was a pusher all right. Leus wasn’t impressed. It was apparent he wasn’t interested in what Portales had to say, but he had been a Nobel Prize winner in ’63 and he felt obligated to be polite to even obnoxious pushers like my assistant.
The army man—whatever his name was—was standing on a platform near the high, huge glass case in which the creature stood, unmoving, but watching us.
They had put food of all sorts through a feeder slot, but it was apparent the creature would not touch it. It merely stared down, silent as though amused, and unmoving as though uncaring.
“Gentlemen, gentlemen, may I have your attention!” the Army man caroled at us. A slow silence, indicative of our disrespect for him and his security measures that had caused us such grief getting into this meeting, fell through the groups of men and women at the foot of the case.
“We have called you here—” pompous ass with his we, as if he were the government incarnate, “to try and solve the mystery of who this being is, and what he has come to Earth to find out. We detect in this creature a great menace to—” and he went on and on, bleating and parodying all the previous scare warnings we had had about every nation on Earth. He could not have realized how we scoffed at him, and wanted to hoot him off the platform. This creature was no menace. Had we not captured him, her, it—the being would have burnt to a cinder like its fellows, falling into our atmosphere.
We listened to him to the end. Then we moved in closer and stared at the creature. It opened its beak in what was uncommonly like a smile, and I felt a shiver run through me. The sort of shiver I get when I hear deeply emotional music, or the sort of shiver I get when making love It was a basic trembling in the fibers of my body. I can’t explain it, but it was a prelude to something. I paused in my thinking, just ceased my existence if Cogito Ergo Sum is the true test of existence. I stopped thinking and allowed myself to sniff of that strangeness; to savor the odor of space and far-away worlds, and one world in particular.
A world where the winds are so strong that the inhabitants have hooks on their feet with which they dig into the firm green soil to maintain their footing. A world where colors riot among the foliage one season, and the next are the pale white of a maggot’s flesh. A world where the triple moons swim through azure skies, and sing in their passage, playing on a lute of invisible strings, the seas and the deserts as accompaniests. A world of wonder, older than Man and older than the memory of the Forever.
I realized abruptly, as my mind began to function once more, that I had been listening to the creature. Ithk was the creatures’—name?—denomination?—gender?—something. It was one of five hundred hundred-thousand like itself, who had come to the system of Sol.
Come? No, perhaps that was the wrong word. They had been…
Not by rockets, nothing that crude. Nor space-warp, nor even mental power. But a leap from their world—what was that name? Something the human tongue could not form, the human mind could not conceive?—to this wo
rld in seconds. Not instantaneous, for that would have involved machinery of some sort, or the expansion of mental power. It was beyond that, and above that. It was an essence of travel. But they had come. They had come across the mega-galaxies, hundreds of thousands of light-years…incalculable distances from there to here, and Ithk was one of them.
Then he began to talk to some of us.
Not all of us there, for I could tell some were not receiving him. I don’t attribute it to good or bad in any of us, nor intelligence, nor even sensitivity. Perhaps it was whim on Ithk’s part, or the way he wanted to do it from necessity. But whatever it was, he spoke to only some of us there. I could see Portales was receiving nothing, though old Karl Leus’ face was in a state of rapture, and I knew he had the message himself.
For the creature was speaking in our minds telepathically. It did not amaze me, or confound me, nor even shock me. It seemed right. It seemed to go with Ithk’s size and look, its aura and arrival.
And it spoke to us.
And when it was done, some of us crawled up on the platform and released the bolts that held the case of glass shut; though we all knew Ithk could have left it at any second had it desired. But Ithk had been interested in knowing—before it burned itself out as its fellows had done—and it had found out about us little Earth people. It had satisfied its curiosity, on this instant’s stopover before it went to hurtling, flaming destruction. It had been curious…for the last time Ithk’s people had come here, Earth had been without creatures who went into space. Even as pitifully short a distance into space as we could venture.
But now the stopover was finished, and Ithk had a short journey to complete. It had come an unimaginably long way, for a purpose, and though this had been interesting, Ithk was anxious to join his fellows.
So we unbolted the cage—which had never really confined a creature that could be out of it at will—and Ithk was not there! Gone!
The sky was still flaming.
One more pinpoint came into being suddenly, slipped down in a violent rush through the atmosphere, and burned itself out like a wasting torch. Ithk was gone.
Then we left.
Karl Leus leaped from the thirty-second story of a building in Washington that evening. Nine others died that day. And though I was not ready for that, there was a deadness in me. A feeling of waste and futility and hopelessness. I went back to the Observatory, and tried to drive the memory of what Ithk had said from my mind and my soul. If I had been as deeply perceptive as Leus or any of the other nine, I might have gone immediately. But I am not in their category. They realized the full depth of what it had said and, so perceiving, they had taken their lives. I can understand their doing it.
Portales came to me when he heard about it.
“They just—just killed themselves!” he babbled.
“Yes, they killed themselves,” I answered wearily, staring at the flaming, burning sky from the Observatory catwalk. It always seemed to be night now. Always night with light.
“But why? Why would they do it?”
I spoke to hear my thoughts. For I knew what was coming. “Because of what the creature said.”
“What it said?”
“What it told us, and what it did not tell us.”
“It spoke to you?”
“To some of us. To Leus and the nine and others. I heard it.”
“But why didn’t I hear it? I was right there!”
I shrugged. He had not heard, that was all.
“Well, what did it say? Tell me,” he demanded.
I turned to him, and looked at him. Would it affect him? No, I rather thought not. And that was good. Good for him, and good for others like him. For without them, Man would cease to exist. I told him.
“The lemmings,” I said. “You know the lemmings. For no reason, for some deep instinctual surging, they follow each other, and periodically throw themselves off the cliffs. They follow one another down to destruction. A racial trait. It was that way with the creature and his people. They came across the mega-galaxies to kill themselves here. To commit mass suicide in our solar system. To burn up in the atmosphere of Mars and Mercury and Venus and Earth, and to die, that’s all. Just to die.”
His face was stunned. I could see he comprehended that. But what did it matter? That was not what had made Leus and the nine other scientists kill themselves, that was not what filled me with such a feeling of frustration. The drive of one race was not the drive of another.
“But—but—I don’t underst—”
I cut him off.
“That was what Ithk said.”
“But why did they come here to die?” he asked, confused. “Why here and not some other solar system or galaxy?”
That was what Ithk had said. That was what we had wondered in our minds—damn us for asking—and in its simple way, Ithk had answered.
“Because,” I explained slowly, softly, “this is the end of the Universe.”
His face did not register comprehension. I could see it was a concept he could not grasp. That the solar system, Earth’s system, the backyard of Earth to be precise, was the end of the Universe. Like the flat world over which the Columbus would have sailed, into nothingness. This was the end of it all. Out there, in the other direction, lay a known Universe, with an end to it…but they—Ithk’s people—ruled it. It was theirs, and would always be theirs. For they had racial memory burnt into each embryo child born to their race, so they would never stagnate. After every lemming race, a new generation was born, that would live for thousands of years, and advance. They would go on till they came here to flame out in our atmosphere. But they would rule what they had while they had it.
So to us, to the driving, unquenchably curious, seeking and roaming Earthman, whose life was tied up with wanting to know, needing to know, there was left nothing. Ashes. The dust of our own system. And after that, nothing.
We were at a dead end. There would be no wandering among the stars. It was not that we couldn’t go. We could. But we would be tolerated. It was their Universe, and this, our Earth, was the dead end.
Ithk had not known what it was doing when it said that to us. It had meant no evil, but it had doomed some of us. Those of us who dreamed. Those of us who wanted more than what Portales wanted.
I turned away from him and looked up.
The sky was burning.
I held very tightly to the bottle of sleeping tablets in my pocket. So much light up there.
Now we come to an intense little study of paranoia, schiz-ophrenia and psychopathic behavior. And after that long Introduction in the front of this volume, I’m already charting the caroling voices of those who will contend this story is a portrait of the author as a freakout. I assure you this was conceived merely as a “gimmick” story. Aside from the facts that I said in one part of the story that Brad and Paulie were almost-identical twins, and later had Brad reminiscing of a time when he was nine and Paulie was thirteen…and that the story has been made obsolete by the recent Explorer shots…and that Twilight Zone went off the air before I came out to Hollywood and could have adapted it, which would have been the proper medium for this little tripper…aside from all of those…this isn’t a bad little suspense yarn, this thing called
My Brother Paulie
IMPOSSIBLE FOOTSTEPS sounded down the catwalk. Impossible, because he was alone with his brother Paulie, sealed up in an experimental rocket two hundred thousand miles from Earth and Paulie was just waiting for an opportunity to kill him.
Impossible because this was the first ship to attempt a circumnavigation of the Moon, and God only knew how rough it was without Paulie constantly on the stalk, trying to burn away the top of his skull.
Brad Woodland pressed himself closer to the gigantic hydrazine tank, wedging himself in tighter between the tank and bulkhead of the Resurrection IX. Silently, he prayed his brother would drop dead.
The footsteps drew nearer, directly over his head now.
“Brad! Brad Boy! Out, Brad, c
’mon out!”
The deep, masculine voice of his brother struck Brad Woodland with the same terror it had held when they were both children, and Paulie had delighted in beating up his brother. “Brad, c’mon out and we’ll talk, boy. It’s a long pull there and back, Brad. We got to comfort each other—”
He slid his hands up the smooth, cool metal of the tank, clapping them without sound over his ears. It failed to shut out Paulie’s insistent, sardonic tones. Paulie, with that damned blaster. He bit his lip, and he could feel his eyes beginning to water.
This was the way it had always been; he could even remember a similar situation when he and Paulie had been nine. He had taken the more brilliant of the two balloons Dad had brought home from the company outing, and Paulie had chased him into the yard, yelling for a trade, and threatening to beat Brad’s head in.
Brad had run wildly, and wedged himself under the rear porch. He had laid there, terrified and shaking, seeing Paulie’s feet run past the porch—pause—turn—run a few steps back again—stop—and finally go out of sight around the house. Of course, Paulie had taken the balloon later, and had knocked him down with a hard punch in the stomach. But for those few moments he had been safe, and securely hidden, and Paulie had not been able to find him.
He was facing the same danger now. The years had not changed his brother. With the dim light from control country upship filtering down into the fuel tank compartment of this third stage, everything was weird and dusky. Dimly-lit and soft-edged, as in a dream. The way things had been when they had put Brad through his pre-flight mental checkup, at Redstone Tower.
He remembered all the hours before blastoff, when he had lain in the padded troughs of the check-machines getting his brain gouged. The more he thought of the inexhaustible training and checking and priming he had gone through for this most important voyage, the more bewildered he was at the thought of Paulie stowing away.