Adventures of Youth & Shadows of the Past

  "Where is she?"

  "Outside playing with Interceptor." Edgar chuckled. "Perhaps I should amend that statement. Interceptor is attempting to play with her. He seems to sense the fact that something is bothering her."

  "Bothering her?" Terra looked concerned. "About what?"

  "Apparently Strago has been sick for quite a while."

  "He still refuses to have a doctor come, even after all this time?"

  Edgar nodded. "That would be what is troubling Relm, I do believe."

  "The poor girl. Not only did she just lose Shadow, she thinks she might be losing her grandfather." The door opened then and Relm walked in. She saw Terra and Edgar and absently waved before moving past them to head for her room upstairs. Terra's heart went out to the girl. "Relm, we were just going to find you and take you for a walk. Would you be interested?"

  She shrugged and stood beside them. "Sure."

  So they made their way out of the house. As they stepped from the front port, a tall man in fairly nice clothes entered town. Terra's heart thumped as she cast Edgar a quick look. He nodded. As the trio approached the end of town, the stranger caught her gaze and slightly smiled, twirling a cap in his hands for a long moment before making his way toward them.

  "Hello."

  Relm was so engrossed in her own disturbing thoughts that she didn't hear him. Terra and Edgar exchanged a glance before greeting the man themselves.

  "Hello," Edgar said. "Is there something we can do for you?"

  The man cleared his throat. "I'm looking for Strago Magus."

  Relm looked up at that. She examined the stranger's face. "Well, he doesn't take visitors. What'd you need?"

  The man hesitated. Terra could tell he fought against the urge to flee. Hadn't she faced that same fear when first exploring a relationship with Edgar? Keep going. You're doing great, she wanted to say. He caught her expression and seemed to read it in her eyes.

  He took in a deep breath and pressed on. "I needed to talk to him about something that happened ten or eleven years ago. It's very important."

  Relm continued to intensely scrutinize the man's expression. "Important? Important like what? Like he owes you money? Or like you're his long-lost son?"

  The man went a little pale. "Not exactly. No."

  Terra tugged on Edgar's sleeve in such a way that Relm didn't notice, and then indicated the house with her eyes. He nodded slightly. "Relm?" Relm turned her eyes toward Terra after a slight pause. "Relm, why don't Edgar and I go tell your grandfather there's someone here to see him?"

  Relm made a face. "Don't waste your breath. He won't come out."

  Terra smiled. "You never know. He may want to for this. We can always try." She motioned to the stranger. "Why don't you keep his would-be guest company while we do our best."

  Terra and Edgar turned for the house as Relm refocused her bright eyes on the stranger. She gripped Edgar's hand. "Please oh please let her take it well," she whispered.

  Edgar squeezed back.

  *

  "So," Relm continued as she turned her attention back to the man. "What's your story?"

  "I'm sorry?"

  Relm crossed her arms with an 'oh please' expression. "Yeah. Where do you know grandpa from? Usually, as far as I can remember anyway, the only people who want to see him are about as old as they come."

  "I . . . ."

  He didn't seem about to finish the attempted answer. Relm prodded him with a graceful wave of her hand. "Yes? Waiting."

  He took in a deep breath and plunged ahead. "I was married to the daughter of a friend of his."

  All thoughts drained from Relm's head. She felt her heart hit the ground at her feet with a definite splut. "What."

  The man's eyes darkened. He reached out a hand. "Are you all right?"

  Relm waved it away and drew her heart back into her chest. "What did you say?" she pressed in a trembling voice. She cleared her throat. "You were what?"

  "I was married to his friend's daughter. Amanda--Are you sure you're all right?"

  Relm didn't hear the question. "You were . . . you were married to her?" The man nodded. Relm felt the hot flash of expectation battle with the chilling intensity of dread. "Did . . . did yo--" She swallowed hard. "Did you have a . . . a child."

  The man's hands gripped his cap. "Yes."

  Relm looked down at her hand suddenly, at the ring from her mother that she always wore, and offered it to the man to see. "Was . . . was this her ring?" He nodded very slowly. Relm watched him for a long and silent minute before risking the final and most important question. "Was your child's name . . . was her name, Relm?"

  He nodded again. "Yes," he whispered.

  Relm choked out a cry as she threw herself against him, her arms encircling him and holding him tight. "I knew you were alive," she sniffled passionately as his arms enfolded her. The warmth and strength and protection they brought to her soul quickened the pace of her tears. "No matter what he said, I knew it! I just knew. . . . Oh Daddy! Daddy, Daddy--" Her choked sob cut off any other words.

  7: Past Stories, New Memories, and A Future Vow

  The excitement of finally meeting her father out-weighed the questions as to why he'd been away for so long. She just didn't care. A lot of people had been taken captive by the Empire. Even more were killed by them. To have her father alive and there in front of her was enough. She knew the story would come later. It usually always did.

  The story of her own life came out in spurts and choppy remembrances. He listened with rapt attention. His eyes were crisp and alert as they examined her face and expressions. Relm liked it. The only other person who'd seemed to look so deep at what she said and the feelings she tried to hide was Shadow. Maybe that was why she'd liked him. She'd known that he couldn't be fooled or goaded.

  Finally, after what seemed hours of telling him what she'd been doing all her life--which mainly consisted of the entire battle with Kefka and the Empire--she fell silent and just smiled at him. He returned her smile, almost hesitantly, and then lowered his gaze to the table top in her home. He seemed unsure and uncomfortable. It was almost as if he didn't want to tell her where he'd been or what he'd been doing.

  "I know that you have a lot of questions, Relm."

  His reluctance, surprisingly enough, affected her enthusiasm and made her reluctant. "Do you blame me?" Relm asked. "Grandpa said you were dead a long time ago. Why else would you stay away?" She watched his face. It was scarred and haggard. As if he'd lived his entire life in a prison cell where he'd been tortured and beaten each day. "Daddy, why'd they take you and Mamma away?"

  His face darkened with pain as the scenes of his life flashed quickly across his eyes. "For a lot of senseless reasons, Relm. The most prominent being the fact that your mother descended from the Blue Magi."

  "Like grandpa?"

  "Yes."

  Relm hesitated, unsure as to the wisdom of asking him what he obviously didn't want to relive. But her desire to know about her parents made her press on. "Please, Daddy. Please tell me about her. Tell me about you. All I've ever known is grandpa, and I want to know more than that. I want to know about who I came from."

  Her father looked up then, examining the bright expression in her eyes with a distant look. "You have your mother's passion. Looking into your eyes is like looking into hers."

  Relm's throat tightened. "Really?"

  His lips tilted upward in a slight smile as his eyes seemed to focus back on the present. "Yes. Your mother was a passionate artist who lived life to its fullest extent. Her beauty came from that. So has yours."

  Relm looked down, cheeks flushed. Not very many people called her beautiful.

  "I was amazed at the resemblance when I first saw you," her father said. "It was so uncanny that I was sure I was mistaken. After all, how could it be that simple?" His eyes became distant again, and he looked away. "She would be pleased at all the things you've done. You've become a hero at a very young age. Not many can boast of such an accomplish
ment."

  Relm shifted her gaze to his face. "Haven't you done anything like that before? Even once? Were you always a prisoner?"

  "In some form or another." He sighed and moved his gaze to meet hers. "Relm, I didn't mean to be away this long. Some of my friends are certain I allowed myself to forget. Perhaps I did. It was less painful than remembering and coming home to pay the price for my absence. When I first escaped, I should have made my way here."

  Relm sniffled, lowering her gaze as she clenched her hands together. Her throat tightened. "You probably thought I'd be mad."

  "It doesn't matter. I should have come. You deserved to have your father, as well as new memories of your mother."

  They were quiet for a long moment before Relm looked up. He watched her. "Are you going to stay now, Daddy? Grandpa won't be happy, but I don't care. Please stay."

  Her father stood and looked toward the stairs leading to the second story bedroom. "I will stay," he said quietly, "but I might not be welcome in this house."

  Relm scowled. "If you're not, then I'm leaving. He's just a grumpy old fuddy-duddy anyway."

  Her father turned a stern expression toward her. "Relm, he has always held your best interests at heart. He has never abandoned you. He deserves your presence in his life more than I do."

  "But you're my father," she said passionately. "He's got no right to keep you out of my life, and I'll hate him if he tries!"

  "You shouldn't hate him for doing what he believes protects you. He loves you and has never hesitated in the showing of that love."

  Relm crossed her arms. "I don't care. If you go, I go. It's as easy as that."

  "Relm--"

  "Daddy, don't make me stay here if you have to go!" She insisted, tears flowing. "Fine, so he's doing everything--everything that drives me nuts--out of love. Fine, I understand, but I'm not going to stay. I'm nearly 13 and he still treats me like a baby! I want to grow up with my father, not him."

  Her father studied her for a long moment before a reluctant smile broke out across his face. "Yes, you definitely remind me of your mother. She had much the same thing to say of him when I proposed and he told her father to refuse. She told me that she would marry me because she wanted to. That their decision had nothing to do with her choice."

  "Mamma said that?" He nodded and Relm was quiet for a moment. "She loved you a lot, didn't she?"

  His face paled as he moved suddenly for the stairs. "We loved each other very much. We were happy. We were content."

  Relm watched him climb the stairs and then dropped her gaze. Then why did you leave? It was a question she didn't want to ask.

  *

  Clyde stood at the top of the stairs for a long and silent moment.

  "Might as well come in the rest of the way."

  Clyde took in a deep breath and stepped forward. His eyes focused on his wife's godfather sitting in an armchair covered with a blanket. He examined Strago's pale complexion, his sunken eyes, and the constant tremor of his hands and knew: Death was coming.

  Strago caught his gaze with a hard expression. His eyes never wavered. "So you came. She said you would, both Relm and Terra, but I never believed it. Why should I? It'd already been ten years." He pressed his lips together and gestured to the desk chair positioned across from him. "Sit down."

  Clyde sat without a word, holding Strago's firm gaze without a problem. Strago noticed and gave a snort.

  "You've grown a spine it seems. Never used to be able to look me in the face for a full five seconds before." Strago examined his face and adjusted his crossed arms. "So what's your excuse?"

  Clyde felt a spark of temper. "I wasn't aware I needed one."

  Strago raised an eyebrow. "Oh really. You expected to be able to strut in here and take over as 'father' and 'provider' without any word at all?"

  Clyde pressed his lips together and grappled with the refreshing freedom of anger and frustration. "I came with an explanation and an apology. I didn't come with any excuses of my actions in order to justify them to you or to her. There is no justification."

  "At least on that point we can agree," Strago said harshly. A fit of coughing robbed his breath and strength. When it passed, he regarded Clyde with a dark expression. "You've been gone a long time, Clyde. I guess I'm being a bastard about it, but I've got a damn good reason to be one. Do you have any idea what it's like to raise a girl in a world like this by yourself? I couldn't answer her questions. I couldn't tell her when you'd be coming back or why you went away in the first place. I couldn't even tell the poor dear how or why her mother was dead."

  Strago took in a deep breath and rested his head back against the armchair as he examined Clyde's pained expression which still held his. "Ten years, Clyde. It's been ten damn years." He closed his eyes. "Prisoner of the Empire? How do you survive ten years as a prisoner of the Empire without getting yourself killed?"

  "You learn to do what they want. You learn to fade into the background." Clyde dropped his gaze to his clenched fists. "I was a prisoner--a puppet--even while I was a free man."

  Strago's eyes opened slowly, and he took in a slow breath as he watched Clyde's face. After a moment, he closed his eyes again. "Sounds like a lot of other people. Terra and Celes to name a few. You've met Terra and her husband, I suppose?"

  "Yes."

  "That's been Relm's family. They're the best thing that ever happened to her. They taught her a lot of things about life that she should've learned from you. Get to know them, Clyde."

  "I will."

  Strago was quiet a moment. "I suppose Relm's already told you what she's been up to."

  "Yes."

  "I guess you're a bit mad that I let her get involved."

  Clyde hesitated. "You had your reasons."

  "That and she's as stubborn as her mother when set to do something."

  Clyde smirked. "I noticed."

  Strago opened his eyes suddenly and caught his gaze. "I'm dying, Clyde, and I think you know it. If you had plans to come here and open this kettle of worms and then leave again, then you best tell me now so that I can make arrangements to have her stay with Terra and Edgar, or Celes and Locke. She deserves a family. No, she deserves a father."

  "I know. I wouldn't have come if I didn't plan on staying. I've been away too long, as you said before, and it's time for me to take accountability." He took in a deep breath and released the old man's intense gaze. "I left to make the world a better place. In a way, I've done that. Perhaps one day I'll tell you how. Now . . . ." Clyde looked up. "Now I need to come back. I would have before, but as you say, ten years is a long time."

  Strago examined him for a long moment, another fit of coughing bringing a quick kerchief to his mouth to hide the blood Clyde knew now hid there.

  "I'm giving you a chance, Clyde," Strago rasped with a haggard breath, "but only because I know Relm wouldn't have it any other way. Neither would Amanda, if she'd lived. But if you screw up and I'm not dead yet? You're gone. I don't care if it makes her hate me. I'd do anything for her. That includes keeping her from you."

  Clyde held the man's gaze for what seemed an eternity. Finally, he took in a deep breath and reached forward to take the man's hand. He clasped it tightly. "I'm here to stay, old man. Amanda's murderer is gone. The Empire is gone. My old life is gone. Relm is all I have left. Relm is all I need. I won't make the same mistake twice."

  Strago's hand tightened in his and a spark of a smile flashed in his eyes. "Good, because I can still take your ass."

  8: Revelation

  "Relm?"

  Relm straightened from where she'd sprawled on the couch. Her eyes brightened to a brilliant emerald. She set aside her sketchpad and rushed to his side. "Yeah, Daddy?"

  His eyes held an unreadable emotion as he gazed down at her. Then he looked away to gesture toward the door. "Let's walk."

  "Oh. Sure." Relm turned to grab her sketchpad and her pencils before falling into step beside him as they stepped onto the front porch. "Where we going?"
>
  "A place we can talk."

  A sudden burst of butterflies from another dimension sprouted in her stomach, and she gripped the sketchpad tighter to her chest. "You're not allowed to stay, are you?"

  "I need to tell you about your mother. I need to tell you why I went away." He took in a deep breath and released it slowly. "I need to tell you everything."

  The way he said it terrified her. "Oh. Sure." They proceeded out of town and Relm could sense the dread. "Daddy?"

  He released a deep breath. "Yes?"

  She stopped walking and faced him. He turned as well, catching her gaze. "I don't care."

  "Relm, you need to know."

  "Do I?"

  "Yes."

  "Why?"

  He clenched his jaw, determination hardened his gaze. "If I don't tell you, what kind of father am I? If I keep yet another secret, how can you feel a part of my life? How can I truly have peace? How can I truly be free of the Empire?"

  Relm chewed on her lower lip as she saw the dread and fright battle in his eyes. "If it makes me mad--Daddy, I don't want to deal with that. I just got you back. I don't want to lose you again."

  Words by the hundreds rose and fell in his eyes, clashing against each other like the waves of the sea on the shore of Thamasa. Finally, he turned away with clenched fists. "I need to be free of all the secrets, Relm. I know that this one revelation may chase you from me, but . . . how can I risk your feelings of betrayal should you discover my secret on your own?" He faced her again, dread evident. "My life has been hell, seeing you so close and not being able to let you know that I still thought of you. . . . But how could I, knowing I had chosen to stay away those many years, serving the evil that I intended to destroy."

  Relm's insides went cold as his voice began to sound chillingly familiar. Her mind and heart battled with the realization, and her throat tightened as he went on.

  "You must be given the choice to hate me or forgive me. If I keep that from you, my torment will never end. It's not fair to you, I suppose, but you need to know. You need to know so that you can decide whether I'm free to stay or go."

  Relm shook her head, a wave of panic bringing tears to her eyes. She dropped her sketchpad. It landed on the ground with a dull thud. "No. Don't tell me. I don't care. I just want my father." Her voice broke.