Out of Time

  Tommy smiled at Sarah Jo. A long, slow smile. But it wasn’t a kind smile. Not at all. As a matter of fact, it was a smile Jo had never seen before.

  “Why don’t you say what this is really about, Tommy? Huh? Why don’t you admit why you really want me out of the country? You finally got what you wanted. He’s dead and you have your happily-ever-after with Ginny. I’m a reminder of that old life and you want as far away from that life as possible. Am I right? Why can’t you face…,”

  Before she finished her sentence he was gripping her arms tightly, so forcefully it hurt. His face was so close she could feel his warm breath.

  “Jo, you should know better than to fuck with me.” His voice was cold as ice. “Especially now that you know whose blood is running through my veins. Get your ass out of town, or you’ll be sorry. This is your one and only warning.”

  He walked out the front door without looking back.

  Sarah Jo followed him and stood in her doorway as she watched Tommy slip into his car and away from their friendship.

  She stared through narrowed eyes, and in barely a whisper, she said, “Yeah, I know whose blood runs through your veins and he’s gone for good. I never realized what an arrogant, scary son-of-a-bitch you could be, Tommy. If I’d known that, then I wouldn’t have tried to help you be with her. It’s me who shouldn’t be fucked with. And I guess you’ll have to learn that the hard way.”

  She watched him drive away and closed the door. She had to clean up so she could get to work.

  Chapter Sixty-Seven

  2000

  Ginny sat in her Sunday school classroom and stared at the blank dry erase board on the wall. Whenever her heart became heavy, she always seemed to find herself at church. They’d started locking the church years ago, but the Sunday school teachers were each given their own keys. Many times, after just sitting in the church by herself, she would wander up the stairs to her second grade classroom. She didn’t know exactly what pulled her there; maybe she found something comforting in the innocence of the young children. Even empty, the room seemed filled with their presence and sweet joy. She looked at the walls and started to smile as she saw their hand-printed names on the angel pictures they’d drawn the Sunday before Grizz died. Laney. Jonathan. Noah. Eduardo.

  She looked away then and down at her left hand. She moved the wide wedding band so she could see his name. Grizz.

  She knew right before the execution that Grizz had wanted to see she still had his name there. She knew it was his way of confirming she still loved him before he died. She’d wanted him to have that last consolation— and the fact that Tommy approved of her doing it told her something else. That in spite of it all, he wasn’t a lying, deceitful person. At least not anymore. He’d stood in the shadows and waited to be with her for years. It was his idea to name their son after Grizz because he knew it would mean something to her. Just like she’d asked, Tommy had taken her to see Eddie after the execution. She didn’t have the tattoo removed. What she did do was have Eddie put the finishing touches on it. A date. The date Grizz had died. It was her way of actually saying goodbye to him. She was so proud of herself for not passing out while Eddie worked on it. She remembered it burned, kind of like a bee sting. It itched for a little while after that. She absently rubbed at it now.

  She took a deep breath and allowed herself to think about everything that had transpired since Grizz’s death. Not just the trauma of his execution, but all of the secrets that came with it. Then just this morning, Tommy had called to tell her Sarah Jo’s husband, Stan, was interviewing for some of the job offers he’d received from other countries. She felt like she was losing a little piece of herself with Sarah Jo moving.

  But she was also starting to believe in new beginnings. She glanced out the window at the bright sunshine, the vivid Technicolor blue sky. Carter’s husband, Bill, would be back in town tomorrow, and she really didn’t have any excuse to stay there anymore. She missed her children. She missed her home.

  She missed her husband.

  She thought about the hours and hours of conversation she’d had with Tommy. The explanations. The real stories. She’d probably asked him the same questions twenty different ways, trying to trip him up, trying to catch him in a lie. Liars forget their lies so they eventually mess up. But every story matched. Every question was answered the same way.

  Did she believe her husband? Yes, when she thought about it, she did. At least she wanted to believe him. He seemed to be forthcoming about everything.

  But could she move on from here? Could she put the past behind her and start fresh with Tommy? Could she accept that he was Grizz’s son? Mimi’s half-brother? Could she live with it? Those were the real questions.

  She wasn’t sure if she knew the answers. But one thing she did know—she wouldn’t be able to make a decision until she went home. Until she went back to her marriage and her house to see if she could live a life that had not been of her choosing, but one she had grown to cherish.

  Did she love Tommy? Yes, she believed she did. But she was starting to doubt herself, and the only way to figure out the truth was to be with him. To see what she felt.

  She had an instant thought and felt immediate shame. If she’d learned these secrets when Grizz was still alive would she have stayed with Tommy? Or would she have settled for a life that had her visiting Grizz in jail regularly up until his execution?

  Anger rippled when she realized the answer. No. She wouldn’t have done that because Grizz wouldn’t have let her. She’d tried to tell him when he was in the county jail that she would’ve gladly lived that life, but he wouldn’t allow it.

  Again, a decision that had been taken away from her.

  Her anger provided some resolve. She would go home to see if she could work it out with Tommy. She would give him a chance. She did love him, and not just because Grizz had pushed them together, but because he really was an amazing man, husband, and father. She didn’t like the lies, but that had been a teenage Tommy. A teenager who had fallen in love with her. She would go home. She would try.

  The fact that she found herself wanting to try felt like a weight had been lifted.

  Her cell phone rang, interrupting her new revelation. “Hello?”

  “Ginny.” It was Tommy.

  She smiled when she heard his voice. It must’ve been a sign. “Tommy, I’m so glad you called. I’m at the church. I—I’m going back to Carter’s now. I’m going to get my things and come home.” She paused, but he was quiet. “I’m not saying everything is fine. I’m just saying I’d like to try.”

  He didn’t say anything at first. What was wrong? This is what he wanted, wasn’t it? He’d been begging her to come home. Why wasn’t he excited that she’d made up her mind?

  “I need you to come home right now.” That’s when she heard it—the undercurrent of concern in his voice. Something was wrong. “Some detectives are here. They want to talk to us.”

  “Talk to us? About what?”

  “Apparently, they just found a body down by the beach. It’s a woman and she’s been murdered. They say it’s Jan. They’re questioning me, Ginny. They’re making it sound like they think I could’ve had something to do with it. I think I’m being set up.”

  “What? Jan, Blue’s wife? What’s going on? Oh my God, Tommy!”

  “I can’t go in to it now, honey. I just need you home. Okay?”

  “Do I need to call our attorney? Or maybe I should call Vanderline. Should I ask her what we should do?”

  Vanderline had made quite a good life for herself. After saving her money and putting herself through law school, she had become a respected attorney. She was now a judge in New York.

  But the line had already gone dead. Shakily, she laid her phone on the little table next to where she was sitting. Jan’s murder? Tommy told her Blue had recently found Jan. What had Blue done?

  She felt a crushing weight on her chest now. Would they never escape the darkness associated with the gang? Without
even needing to ask for details, she knew her husband was right. He was being set up. It was probably something Grizz had ordered in retaliation for what he saw as Tommy’s deception. Between the billy club revelation and Tommy being Kevin’s father, Tommy clearly had not been forgiven. By Grizz or by Blue.

  That nod to Tommy at the execution hadn’t meant anything. And it didn’t even matter that Grizz was gone. He was a formidable and powerful enemy, even from the grave.

  Quickly, she gathered her phone and purse. Tommy needed her. She would get answers as soon as she got home. She still wasn’t sure where she was emotionally. But she’d felt an urgency to defend him at all costs after hearing this latest news. Did that tell her anything?

  She headed down the stairs and out to her car. Moments later, she was headed for home.

  Chapter Sixty-Eight

  2000

  Two weeks later, Ginny and Tommy talked quietly in their bed, legs tangled loosely. Tommy had been questioned by the police, but to their surprise, soon they zeroed in on a bigger suspect: Matthew Rockman, who was now behind bars.

  “I still can’t believe Matthew Rockman’s in jail!” Ginny told Tommy as they laid there, wrapped in each other’s arms.

  Earlier that day, Tommy had told her what he’d learned from the police: that Matthew had apparently had a vendetta from the start and had never gotten over Grizz threatening him and then abducting Ginny. He’d harbored a grudge for a very long time and had used Jan and Froggy to take the focus off of who was secretly going after Grizz. Himself. He manipulated it to look like it was all Blue’s wife’s idea because of the custody battle. It was pretty clever. Or so Matthew thought at the time.

  Matthew must have panicked when Jan showed up back in town demanding money.

  “I guess Matthew just freaked out and killed her,” Ginny said while resting in the crook of Tommy’s arm.

  “I guess he knew he didn’t have enough money to keep Jan quiet forever. She would suck him dry and hold it over his head that all she had to do was tell Blue that Matthew was behind the arrests. He knew he would be killed for his part in taking on the gang, putting Grizz on death row, and sending Blue’s family into Witness Protection.”

  She sighed. “All these years and I blamed myself for Grizz’s arrest. I really believed Jan was behind it because she found my wallet. Of course, it looked that way, but Matthew always knew my real name.” She bit her lip. “He really did use Jan well.”

  They lay still awhile, listening to the tick of the ceiling fan, the hum of the air conditioner.

  He pulled her closer now, whispering, “Ginny, it’s over. Can we really try to put all this behind us now? Can we really start over, sweetheart?” He pulled back so he could look directly into her eyes.

  She fiddled with her ring. “But what about Kevin, Tommy? If he’s your son, shouldn’t we acknowledge it or something? I mean, we could do a DNA test to be sure, but I’ve seen his picture. You’re right. There’s no doubt he’s your son. You were super young when you got her pregnant.”

  He’d already told her the story about how Jan had forced him. It still made her sick to think about it. That woman had been crazy. And now she was gone.

  “Grizz must’ve been super young when he got Candy pregnant with me, too, come to think of it.” Tommy raised an eyebrow and chuckled a little. “Guess it’s in our genes.”

  She squeezed his hand. “Sometimes I thought I had a déjà vu about something Jason did or said. I would tell myself that it was probably something you did at his age, but then I would remember that I didn’t know you when you were a little kid. But I knew Kevin. That’s what it was. I remembered Kevin as a boy. Knowing that Kevin is Jason’s older brother, it makes sense now.”

  “I’ve talked to Blue about this, Ginny. I want Kevin to be in our lives, and he can be, but I don’t know if it’s necessary to tell him I’m his biological father just yet. Unless there was a medical crisis or something, I don’t see how that would be good for anybody. Blue loves those boys and never stopped looking for them all those years. He was pissed at first until I told him what really happened. He knew his wife. He knew I wasn’t lying about that. He wants to try to start a relationship with them again. He’s not interfering with their lives, but he does want to try to get to know them. We will tell Kevin one day. I just don’t think the time is right. I think we could both benefit from some counseling first. You know, to make sure we’re handling it right. So much has happened in such a short time and I don’t want to jump right in. I know we’re both anxious to get the truth out there and move on from everything that has happened, but we need to consider how it could affect Kevin. We need to know how to approach him.

  “You’re right. It’s complicated enough with all of the ramifications of you being Grizz’s son. Hopefully, Kevin will remember us. Maybe we can work our way back into his life when the time is right. I agree. We need to talk to a therapist or someone that can help us.” She paused then. ”Will we ever tell Mimi about her father?”

  “I’m her father, Ginny.”

  “I know that, Tommy, I mean—”

  He cut her off. “I know what you mean. But I don’t want our lives turned into some stupid afternoon talk show where people throw chairs at each other on stage. I know you resent living all of these years with the secrets and the lies.”

  “Exactly, Tommy,” she said, sitting up and turning to look at him. “And I don’t want that for Mimi.”

  “Neither do I.” He sighed. “We’ll tell her. She needs to know. Has the right to know. This is something else we can talk to a therapist about. She’s my daughter. I’m not going to risk losing her, Gin. But I want to make sure we handle it right. We’ll tell her, but only after seeking counseling. Agreed?”

  “Agreed.” She nodded and lay back against his shoulder.

  “In the meantime, how about a getaway?” he asked.

  “Just the two of us?”

  “As much as I would love to do nothing but make love with my wife for a week on a tropical island, I know the kids have felt neglected this past month. Staying overnight with friends, both of us coming and going as we tried to sort through all of this. I want my family back. How about a cruise with that big mouse? The one with the high-pitched voice,” he teased.

  She grinned. “That sounds good, Tommy. Maybe I can get us booked before school starts again so they won’t have to miss any days so early in the new school year.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” He reached over to turn off the lamp on his nightstand.

  She turned to him in the darkness. Slowly, she began kissing his neck, then made her way over until she found his lips. Her hand made its way down his stomach. It was the first time they’d made love since before Grizz’s execution.

  “I’ve missed you, Tommy,” she said as her hand found his erection.

  It was obvious he missed her, too.

  Tommy deepened the kiss, then quickly flipped Ginny onto her back, kissing his way down her neck, her breasts, her smooth, flat belly.

  He swallowed back nausea as he blocked out what he knew. He’d have to act like everything was okay. It was a good thing his dick was cooperating. He was getting ready to go down on his wife, and the thought of it made him want to vomit.

  Chapter Sixty-Nine

  2000

  It felt good to be in Tommy’s arms again. Ginny hated to admit it, but early in their marriage there had been times she’d been making love to Tommy when she would think about Grizz. She’d felt like she was committing adultery against Grizz.

  But now, even though she mourned Grizz and would always love him, she felt she was able to give herself over to Tommy without feeling like she was betraying Grizz. His death, although extremely painful, had provided some closure.

  Ginny burrowed deeper into the crook of Tommy’s arm.

  “I need to spend some time again at Carter’s, Tommy.” Before he could object, she added, “Not now. Maybe when we get back from our cruise. I need to clean out the garage.
”

  She felt him relax. “Let’s do it before the cruise, honey. I’ll go and help you.”

  “No, I think I should do this myself.” She snuggled closer. “Besides, when we get back from our trip, you’ll go back to work and the kids will be in school. I’ve been thinking about it a little. I’ll start by putting the cars and motorcycles up for sale. Then I can tackle the guest room above the garage. It shouldn’t be too hard. Grizz really didn’t have a lot of personal stuff.”

  “Ginny, I don’t know if you should do this alone. Going through all those things—it could be really tough. Tougher than you realize.”

  “I won’t be all alone. Carter will be around taking care of her animals. I’ll let her know if I need her.” She turned to gaze up at him in the darkness. “Tommy, I think this is something I have to do without you. You have to understand that. I know you do.”

  “Yes, honey,” he said and kissed her forehead. “I understand.”

  She fell asleep almost immediately. Tommy lay in the dark for a long time listening to the sound of her breathing. He told himself he had a clear conscience now. At least as clear as it could be for someone who had lived the life he’d lived. All the lies and deceptions over the years had given him a false sense of self-righteousness. When you told yourself, convinced yourself, you were doing something for the good of someone you loved, it didn’t seem so bad.

  He’d told Ginny in great detail about his last meeting with Grizz in prison before the execution, leaving out only the things they’d both agreed she shouldn’t know. Things too dangerous for her to know. He’d made the hard decision not to tell her about Sarah Jo’s part in her rape, which had led to Moe’s suicide. He didn’t know whether that was the right thing to do or not, but it felt right. As much as he wanted Sarah Jo to pay for her brutal dishonesty, he felt telling Ginny about Jo’s real reason for moving out of the country would have only caused more pain. He was afraid one more revelation would break her.