Ashes

  “You’re not,” Harper stated. “As sad as it is, your mate seems intent on being willfully blind to the fact that McCauley isn’t just a little out of the ordinary. There’s something truly wrong with him.”

  “I know, but it will devastate Linda if you take him. We can’t know for sure that he did kill Talia. Innocent until proven guilty, right?”

  “I’m not comfortable leaving him here,” said Knox.

  “Where else does he have to go? Look, you need someone to keep an eye on him. I can do that. Maybe I can even help him. Maybe with time he’ll come to trust us and he’ll change.”

  Knox strongly doubted it, but Wyatt was right – he did need someone to watch over McCauley. Wyatt was as good a person as any for that role. “All right, but don’t drop your guard with him. You’re a strong demon. He might be a child, but he could also be a very dangerous child. Don’t hesitate to act in your defense.”

  “I won’t.”

  Though Knox still wasn’t comfortable leaving the Sanders to take on McCauley, he left the house with Harper and the sentinels. Nobody spoke until they were inside the car.

  Levi turned on the ignition. “Damn, you weren’t kidding when you said that kid is creepy. I’m ninety-nine percent sure he killed Talia.”

  “And he’s not sorry for it,” said Tanner.

  Levi pulled away from the curb. “He behaves like our inner demons do – it’s as if he’s taking behavioral cues from it, imitating and obeying it.”

  “Like the demon is the parent,” Harper mused.

  Knox looked at her, eyes narrowed. “Exactly.”

  “His human mother was neglectful, right?” said Tanner. “It could be that his demon sort of… stepped in.”

  Levi whistled. “That would be bad. Our demons don’t particularly give a shit when it comes to right and wrong. They’re vengeful, they don’t feel guilt. If that’s the kind of ‘parent’ that’s shaped him, he needs to be watched very closely. Maybe Linda and Wyatt really can help him – they’ll be role models. They’ll give him the attention and care that, until now, only his demon ever gave him. Do you think McCauley will hurt them?”

  “If our theory is right, no,” replied Knox. “His demon will be smart enough to know that it needs the Sanders to tend to McCauley’s basic needs. It will be happy to use them until it feels that McCauley can take care of himself. It will have urged him to stay with his human mother for the very same reason. She could feed and clothe McCauley – things the demon can’t do for him.”

  “You don’t think it will get jealous if McCauley begins to care for the Sanders?” asked Harper.

  Knox took her hand. “I don’t think there’s any risk of McCauley emotionally connecting with them any time soon. If it does happen, it would be in the distant future. Hopefully the demon will be used to the Sanders by then. It may even eventually like them if it feels they’re good to McCauley. We can only speculate.”

  As Tanner and Levi started discussing sentinel business, Harper turned to Knox and asked softly, “Did you really kill someone when you were a kid?”

  “They deserved it.”

  “I’m not saying they didn’t. I just hate that you were put in a position where you had to kill or be killed when you were so young.” Harper gave his hand a comforting squeeze. He looked at her, and what she saw in his eyes gave her the chills.

  “By the time I was done with them, so were they.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Ending his brief phone call, Knox slung his cell on the small bar in his living room and poured himself a gin and tonic. “Want a drink, baby?” Receiving no answer, he glanced over his shoulder. Harper was sitting on the sofa, her gaze inward as she twisted her rings and twirled her ankle absentmindedly.

  A sense of unease prickled at him. Taking a swig of his drink, he crossed the room to her. Harper didn’t fidget unless something was playing on her mind. And that was when he remembered… “Sorry, baby, you wanted to talk to me about something earlier. What was it?”

  She looked up at him and blinked. For a moment, she didn’t say anything. Then a determination gathered behind her eyes and she licked her lips. “Maybe you should sit down. Yeah, you should definitely sit down.”

  He’d prefer to stand, but he humored her and perched himself on the edge of the coffee table. “What is it? Tell me. If something’s wrong, I’ll fix it.”

  Sitting up straighter, Harper cleared her throat. Her mouth bopped open like a landed fish, and she seemed to struggle for words. “Okay, so I’m just going to say it.”

  “All right,” he said. But she didn’t say it. Her mouth opened again, but still nothing came out. “Why are you so nervous?” Dozens of possibilities raced through his mind, and he didn’t like any of them. That sense of unease began to swell.

  “I’m not nervous… per se.”

  Yes, she was. He placed his tumbler on the table and took her hands. “Harper, tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Nothing’s wrong. Or, at least, I don’t think there’s anything wrong. You might feel differently.”

  “Harper, you’re not making any sense. Whatever it is, just tell me.”

  “Okay, so, here it is. I’m… Well, it’s…” Cursing, Harper delved into her purse and pulled out something that she’d stuffed in a sandwich bag. “I have something to show you.”

  Knox frowned, unable to make out what was in her grip. He held out his hand. “Why is it in a sandwich bag?”

  “I didn’t want you to have to touch it.”

  “Why?” he asked, as she finally handed it over.

  “I peed on it.”

  “You peed on —?” Realization hit him, and he looked down at the item in his hand. Even through the plastic bag, the long, white pregnancy stick was clear. And so was the word “Pregnant” on the digital screen.

  Harper stayed very still, giving Knox the space to work through the news. She wouldn’t lie, she was totally on edge. Sure, they’d talked about having a baby and he’d been fine with it. But it was one thing to talk about a hypothetical baby and a whole other thing to find out that said baby was no longer so hypothetical.

  She had a big family; she’d seen how differently males could react to pregnancy. Some were terrified by the prospect of being a father due to their own insecurities. Some felt trapped by the financial burdens, responsibilities, and social restrictions that came with fatherhood. Some, like Lucian, weren’t ready to give up their own childhood or independence; they saw the idea of a baby as a loss of freedom.

  Even the soon-to-be-fathers who were excited had their worries, and they sometimes did stupid things like act out or throw themselves into work rather than voice those concerns. Harper could understand it, though. She supposed that males probably often felt detached from their partner’s pregnancy, since they played no physical part in it. The attention was usually on the women, so they might even feel a little left out at times.

  Responsibilities didn’t scare Knox Thorne, and he was too much of a confident, competent person to be insecure about his ability to be anything, even a father. Still, there was never really any knowing how a person would react to hearing they’d be a parent. And considering he was a total worrywart who constantly fussed over her health and safety, this news could very well send his anxiety levels soaring.

  She figured that it could help if the news was delivered at a positive, well-timed moment. So, as they’d driven to Talia’s apartment building, Harper had decided to delay breaking it to him. She’d planned to ask Meg to prepare his favorite meal and then fish out his favorite wine – possibly even get him drunk. She could then have broken the news to him gently, and he’d have had the time and privacy to allow it to settle into his brain.

  A good plan.

  Harper just didn’t have the patience to wait like that, but she’d been determined to try. However, when he’d sensed that her head was… well, up her ass… he’d leaped on the matter, and she knew there would be no intimate meal. There was really no brushing him
off when he knew something was bothering her. He would hound her and hound her until she coughed up the truth.

  Although she’d made up her mind to just tell him right then, her nerves were so fried that she hadn’t even been able to say the simple words, “I’m pregnant.” Now he was staring down at the pregnancy stick, unmoving. And she didn’t know what the hell to do.

  She wondered how his demon was dealing with the news. Once the shock wore off, her own demon had switched into overprotective mode. Its priority was now the safety of the life inside Harper’s womb. And Harper was pretty sure that if Knox didn’t take it well, her demon would be thoroughly pissed at him and want to send soul-deep pain shooting up his dick.

  As the silence dragged on, Harper barely resisted the urge to wring her hands. Eventually it got too much for her. “Okay, you need to say something or I might freak out.”

  His head lifted, and he looked at her through unreadable eyes. “You’re pregnant?” The words came out choked.

  “It would seem so.”

  He placed the stick on the table and stood. Her stomach dropped. Hell, she hadn’t expected him to walk out, but she’d give him space if it was what he needed. Her demon would prefer to just slap him.

  Taking Harper by surprise, his hand cuffed her wrist and he gently pulled her to her feet. Then his hands were in her hair and his mouth was on hers. Hard. Hungry. Consuming her.

  Freeing her mouth, Knox rested his forehead on hers and splayed a hand on her flat stomach. “You’re pregnant?”

  She licked her lips. “I’m pregnant.”

  He swallowed. “We’re not calling it Lucifer.”

  A shaky laugh bubbled out of her. “You’re not upset?”

  “No. This is my happy face. Can’t you tell?”

  “No.”

  “I’m far from upset,” Knox assured her. He kissed her again, pouring all the emotions he was feeling right then inside her. Excitement. Wonder. Shock.

  He was also anxious. Anxious that Harper would find the pregnancy and the birth difficult. Anxious that something might go wrong. Anxious about the baby’s health. Knox was a person who liked to be in control of the things around him. This wasn’t something he had any control over.

  His demon was having the same internal struggle, and it wanted nothing more than to lock Harper away where no one could touch her or the child growing inside her. It wasn’t a bad idea, really.

  Knox framed her face with his hands. “How are you feeling?”

  She took a long breath. “Okay. Better now that I know you’re good with it.”

  “I guess this explains why you were so tired and lethargic all the time.” He knew it was a symptom of a demonic pregnancy, but it hadn’t occurred to him to even consider that she could be pregnant. He should have done. He shouldn’t have simply assumed it was stress. Knox cursed as he remembered something. “I was rough with you this morning.”

  Harper smiled. “Rough sex isn’t going to harm the baby.” Outside forces, however? Yeah, there was a chance they would. Or, at least, they would try. “People will come for the baby. That’s what Nora said,” she reminded him. It made sense that there would be demons who would think to use the baby to control him. Others might even want the child for themselves, suspecting it would grow to be as powerful as Knox, and could be used against him. Her demon snarled, communicating that it would kill anyone who attempted any such thing.

  “They won’t get anywhere near the baby,” vowed Knox. He would never allow it. His father hadn’t protected him, and Knox would be damned if he failed his own child. His demon felt just as strongly about it. “We will ensure the baby is safe and protected at all times. Yes, it will mean that they’ll be coddled, but better that than in the hands of someone who would harm them.”

  She nodded. “Whatever it takes.”

  “You know that the security around you will be stepped up now, don’t you? I understand that your pride will balk at it, but it’s necessary.”

  “I know.” Harper sighed. “The baby needs to be protected.”

  Her immediate capitulation took Knox by surprise. “If I’d known that pregnancy would make you accept better security so easily, I’d have knocked you up months ago.”

  She smiled, sincerely surprised that he was so at ease with the news. “I was worried you might feel a little…”

  “Jealous?”

  She blinked. “Actually, I was going to say ‘anxious’ and maybe ‘excluded’. Some guys feel like you’re on the outside looking in – I don’t want that for you. Do you feel jealous?”

  “I’ll admit that I’m selfish enough to not want to share your attention with anyone.” So was his demon, actually. “But this isn’t just ‘anyone’. It’s our child.” He needed to have a doctor confirm that she was pregnant before he could truly believe it. There was still a surreal quality to the situation.

  She leaned into him. “You’re not upset that a lot of things will change?”

  “What’s so bad about change?”

  “Nothing at all. I’m just checking.”

  “Does anyone else know?”

  “Raini knows. She bought the pregnancy test and urged me to use it. Honestly, I thought she was being dramatic. It turns out that she was right. I didn’t confirm that I was pregnant, but she’ll have known just by the look on my face. She won’t tell anyone, though. Not even Devon or Khloë.”

  “But you want them to know,” he sensed.

  “I’ll feel bad keeping it from them, especially since Raini knows. Personally, though, I think we should keep the pregnancy quiet from as many people as we can for as long as we can.”

  Knox rubbed her upper arms. “I agree.” Or people might attempt to either kill her to stop the birth of the baby or kidnap her to have access to the baby once it was born. “But you can still tell your closest friends.” Mostly because he suspected that it would make them keep a close watch on her. That idea appealed to Knox and his demon a great deal. The more eyes she had on her, the better.

  “We’ll need to also tell the sentinels,” he continued. “And you need to see a doctor. One of the gynecologists in our lair, Dr. Rodgers, is one of the best in the US.” Knox fully intended to make sure she had the best of everything throughout the entire pregnancy. “He’s odd, but he cares about his patients and he’s very discreet.”

  “We can make an appointment tomorrow —”

  “No, we should ask him to come here. Now.” The primal part of Knox wanted nothing more than to take Harper to the floor and bury himself inside her – it was an unexpected urge, but it was there all the same. However, the overprotective part of him was in a frenzy and wanted her to be checked out and to have the pregnancy confirmed. “I need to know that you and the baby are fine.”

  “Then I guess you’d better call him.”

  Dr. Rodgers was nothing like Harper had expected. Small, gangly, and sporting geeky glasses, the Chinese American demon looked more like a scientist than a gynecologist. Given that he now possessed information about Harper and Knox that the rest of the lair did not yet know, he didn’t seem excited or smug as she might have expected. Her demon eyed him suspiciously, too overprotective to trust any strangers around them.

  As he stood in her living room, hands clasped, Rodgers flashed her a professional smile. “So, you believe you’re pregnant.”

  Sitting on the sofa beside Knox, she said, “The test was positive.”

  “Demons can get fake positive results, so the tests aren’t always very reliable. What about symptoms? I can tell just by looking at you that you’ve had trouble sleeping. How’s your appetite been?”

  “Not at its best.”

  He pursed his lips. “Your tongue ever feel like it’s burning?”

  She frowned. “Yes.”

  “Headaches?”

  “Yes.”

  “Nausea?”

  “Yes. But I haven’t had morning sickness or anything.”

  “Some pregnant women don’t.” He offered her a bo
ttle of water. “Drink.”

  She didn’t take the bottle. “I need to use the bathroom, so I’d rather not.”

  “Don’t pee. I want to do an ultrasound scan, and the images will be better quality if you have a full bladder. Now drink – we want it nice and full.”

  Knox took the bottle, twisted off the cap, and handed it to her. “Good girl,” he said as she sipped at it. They both watched the doctor as he switched on the portable ultrasound machine that he’d brought with him.

  “Given what you’ve told me,” Rodgers began, “I’d say you’re about nine to ten weeks pregnant. Demonic babies develop at a faster rate than human babies, so the pregnancies usually last around thirty weeks. There are three stages to a demonic pregnancy. I call them infestation, oppression, and possession.”