Afloat and Ashore: A Sea Tale
CHAPTER II.
"Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus; Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits;-- I rather would entreat thy company To see the wonders of the world abroad." _Two Gentlemen of--Clawbonny._
During the year that succeeded after I was prepared for Yale, Mr.Hardinge had pursued a very judicious course with my education. Insteadof pushing me into books that were to be read in the regular course ofthat institution, with the idea of lightening my future labours, whichwould only have been providing excuses for future idleness, we went backto the elementary works, until even he was satisfied that nothing moreremained to be done in that direction. I had my two grammars literallyby heart, notes and all. Then we revised as thoroughly as possible,reading everything anew, and leaving no passage unexplained. I learnedto scan, too, a fact that was sufficient to make a reputation for ascholar, in America, half a century since. {*] After this, we turned ourattention to mathematics, a science Mr. Hardinge rightly enoughthought there was no danger of my acquiring too thoroughly. We masteredarithmetic, of which I had a good deal of previous knowledge, in afew weeks, and then I went through trigonometry, with some of the moreuseful problems in geometry. This was the point at which I had arrivedwhen my mother's death occurred.
{Footnote *: The writer's master taught him to scan Virgil in 1801.This gentleman was a graduate of Oxford. In 1803, the class to which thewriter then belonged in Yale, was the first that ever attempted toscan in that institution. The quantities were in sad discredit in thiscountry, years after this, though Columbia and Harvard were a little inadvance of Yale. All that was ever done in the last college, during thewriter's time, was to scan the ordinary hexameter of Homer and Virgil.]
As for myself, I frankly admit a strong disinclination to be learned.The law I might be forced to study, but practising it was a thingmy mind had long been made up never to do. There was a small vein ofobstinacy in my disposition that would have been very likely to carryme through in such a determination, even had my mother lived, thoughdeference to her wishes would certainly have carried me as far as thelicense. Even now she was no more, I was anxious to ascertain whethershe had left any directions or requests on the subject, either of whichwould have been laws to me. I talked with Rupert on this matter, andwas a little shocked with the levity with which he treated it. "Whatdifference can it make to your parents, _now_," he said, with anemphasis that grated on my nerves, "whether you become a lawyer, or amerchant, or a doctor, or stay here on your farm, and be a farmer, likeyour father?"
"My father had been a sailor," I answered, quick as lightning.
"True; and a noble, manly, gentleman-like calling it is! I never see asailor that I do not envy him his advantages. Why, Miles, neither of ushas ever been in town even, while your mother's boatmen, or your own, asthey are now, go there regularly once a-week. I would give the world tobe a sailor."
"You, Rupert! Why, you know that your father in tends, or, rather,wishes that you should become a clergyman."
"A pretty appearance a young man of my figure would make in the pulpit,Miles, or wearing a surplice. No, no; there have been two Hardingesin the church in this century, and I have a fancy also to the sea. Isuppose you know that my great-grandfather was a captain in the navy,and _he_ brought _his_ son up a parson; now, turn about is fair play,and the parson ought to give a son back to a man-of-war. I've beenreading the lives of naval men, and it's surprising how many clergymen'ssons, in England, go into the navy, and how many sailors' sons get to bepriests."
"But there is no navy in this country now--not even a singleship-of-war, I believe."
"That is the worst of it. Congress _did_ pass a law, two or three yearssince, to build some frigates, but they have never been launched.Now Washington has gone out of office, I suppose we shall never haveanything good in the country."
I revered the name of Washington, in common with the whole country, butI did not see the _sequitur_. Rupert, however, cared little for logicalinferences, usually asserting such things as he wished, and wishing suchas he asserted. After a short pause, he continued the discourse.
"You are now substantially your own master," he said, "and can do as youplease. Should you go to sea and not like it, you have only to come backto this place, where you will be just as much the master as if you hadremained here superintending cattle, cutting hay, and fattening pork,the whole time."
"I am not my own master, Rupert, any more than you are yourself. I amyour father's ward, and must so remain for more than five years to come.I am just as much under his control as you, yourself."
Rupert laughed at this, and tried to persuade me it would be a goodthing to relieve his worthy fether of all responsibility in the affair,if I had seriously determined never to go to Yale, or to be a lawyer,by going off to sea clandestinely, and returning when I was ready. If Iever was to make a sailor, no time was to be lost; for all with whom hehad conversed assured him the period of life when such things were bestlearned, was between sixteen and twenty. This I thought probable enough,and I parted from my friend with a promise of conversing further withhim on the subject at an early opportunity.
I am almost ashamed to confess that Rupert's artful sophism nearlyblinded my eyes to the true distinction between right and wrong. If Mr.Hardinge really felt himself bound by my father's wishes to educate mefor the bar, and my own repugnance to the profession was unconquerable,why should I not relieve him from the responsibility at once by assumingthe right to judge for myself, and act accordingly? So far as Mr.Hardinge was concerned, I had little difficulty in coming to aconclusion, though the profound deference I still felt for my father'swishes, and more especially for those of my sainted mother, had a holdon my heart, and an influence on my conduct, that was not so easilydisposed of. I determined to have a frank conversation with Mr.Hardinge, therefore, in order to ascertain how far either of my parentshad expressed anything that might be considered obligatory on me. Myplan went as far as to reveal my own desire to be a sailor, and to seethe world, but not to let it be known that I might go off without hisknowledge, as this would not be so absolutely relieving the excellentdivine "from all responsibility in the premises," as was contemplated inthe scheme of his own son.
An opportunity soon occurred, when I broached the subject by asking Mr.Hardinge whether my father, in his will, had ordered that I should besent to Yale, and there be educated for the bar. He had done nothing ofthe sort. Had he left any particular request, writing, or message on thesubject, at all? Not that Mr. Hardinge knew. It is true, the last hadheard his friend, once or twice, make some general remark which wouldlead one to suppose that Captain Wallingford had some vague expectationsI might go to the bar, but nothing further. My mind felt vastly relievedby these admissions, for I knew my mother's tenderness too well toanticipate that she would dream of absolutely dictating in a matterthat was so clearly connected with my own happiness and tastes. Whenquestioned on this last point, Mr. Hardinge did not hesitate to say thatmy mother had conversed with him several times concerning her views, asrelated to my career in life. She wished me to go to Yale, and thento read law, even though I did not practise. As soon as this, much wassaid, the conscientious servant of God paused, to note the effect onme. Reading disappointment in my countenance, I presume, he immediatelyadded, "But your mother, Miles, laid no restraint on you; for she knewit was _you_ who was to follow the career, and not herself. 'I should assoon think of commanding whom he was to marry, as to think of forcing, aprofession on him,' she added. 'He is the one who is to decide this, andhe only. We may try to guide and influence him, but not go beyond this.I leave you, dear sir, to do all you think best in this matter, certainthat your own wisdom will be aided by the providence of a kind Master.'"
I now plainly told Mr. Hardinge my desire to see the world, and to be asailor. The divine was astounded at this declaration, and I saw that hewas grieved. I believe some religious objections were connected withhis reluctance to consent to my following the sea, as a calling. At anyrate, it was easy to disco
ver that these objections were lastingand profound. In that day, few Americans travelled, by way of anaccomplishment, at all; and those few belonged to a class in society somuch superior to mine, as to render it absurd to think of sending,me abroad with similar views. Nor would my fortune justify suchan expenditure. I was well enough off to be a comfortable and freehousekeeper, and as independent as a king on my own farm; living inabundance, nay, in superfluity, so far as all the ordinary wants wereconcerned; but men hesitated a little about setting up for gentlemen atlarge, in the year 1797. The country was fast getting rich, it is true,under the advantages of its neutral position; but it had not yet beenlong enough emancipated from its embarrassments to think of playing thenabob on eight hundred pounds currency a-year. The interview terminatedwith a strong exhortation from my guardian not to think of abandoning mybooks for any project as visionary and useless as the hope of seeing theworld in the character of a common sailor.
I related all this to Rupert, who, I now perceived for the firsttime, did not hesitate to laugh at some of his father's notions, aspuritanical and exaggerated. He maintained that every one was the bestjudge of what he liked, and that the sea had produced quite as fair aproportion of saints as the land. He was not certain, considering thegreat difference there was in numbers, that more good men might not betraced in connection with the ocean, than in connection with any otherpursuit.
"Take the lawyers now, for instance, Miles," he said, "and what can youmake out of them, in the way of religion, I should like to know? Theyhire their consciences out at so much _per diem_, and talk and reasonjust as zealously for the wrong, as they do for the right."
"By George, that is true enough, Rupert. There is old David Dockett, Iremember to have heard Mr. Hardinge say always did double duty for hisfee, usually acting as witness, as well as advocate. They tell me hewill talk by the hour of facts that he and his clients get up betweenthem, and look the whole time as if he believed all he said to be true."
Rupert laughed at this sally, and pushed the advantage it gave him bygiving several other examples to prove how much his father was mistakenby supposing that a man was to save his soul from perdition simplyby getting admitted to the bar. After discussing the matter a littlelonger, to my astonishment Rupert came out with a plain proposal thathe and I should elope, go to New York, and ship as foremastlads in someIndiaman, of which there were then many sailing, at the proper season,from that port. I did not dislike the idea, so far as I was myselfconcerned; but the thought of accompanying Rupert in such an adventure,startled me. I knew I was sufficiently secure of the future to be ableto risk a little at the present moment; but such was not the case withmy friend. If I made a false step at so early an age, I had only toreturn to Clawbonny, where I was certain to find competence and a home;but, with Rupert, it was very different. Of the moral hazards I ran,I then knew nothing, and of course they gave me no concern. Like allinexperienced persons, I supposed myself too strong in virtue to bein any danger of contamination; and this portion of the adventure wasregarded with the self-complacency with which the untried are aptto regard their own powers of endurance. I thought myself morallyinvulnerable.
But Rupert might find it difficult to retrace any serious error madeat his time of life. This consideration would have put an end to thescheme, so far as my companion was concerned, had not the thoughtsuggested itself that I should always have it in my own power to aid myfriend. Letting something of this sort escape me, Rupert was not slow inenlarging on it, though this was done with great tact and discretion. Heproved that, by the time we both came of age, he would be qualified tocommand a ship, and that, doubtless, I would naturally desire to investsome of my spare cash in a vessel. The accumulations of my estate alonewould do this much, within the next five years, and then a career ofwealth and prosperity would lie open before us both.
"It is a good thing, Miles, no doubt," continued this tempting sophist,"to have money at use, and a large farm, and a mill, and such things;but many a ship nets more money, in a single voyage, than your wholeestate would sell for. Those that begin with nothing, too, they tell me,are the most apt to succeed; and, if we go off with our clothes only, weshall begin with nothing, too. Success may be said to be certain. I likethe notion of beginning with nothing, it is so American!"
It is, in truth, rather a besetting weakness of America to supposethat men who have never had any means for qualifying themselves forparticular pursuits, are the most likely to succeed in them; andespecially to fancy that those who "begin poor" are in a much better wayfor acquiring wealth than they who commence with some means; and I wasdisposed to lean to this latter doctrine myself, though I confess Icannot recall an instance in which any person of my acquaintance hasgiven away his capital, however large and embarrassing it may have been,in order to start fair with his poorer competitors. Nevertheless, therewas something taking, to my imagination, in the notion of being thefabricator of my own fortune. In that day, it was easy to enumerateevery dwelling on the banks of the Hudson that aspired to be called aseat, and I had often heard them named by those who were familiar withthe river. I liked the thought of erecting a house on the Clawbonnyproperty that might aspire to equal claims, and to be the owner of a_seat_; though only after I had acquired the means, myself, to carry outsuch a project. At present, I owned only a _house_; my ambition was, toown a _seat_.
In a word, Rupert and I canvassed this matter in every possible wayfor a month, now leaning to one scheme, and now to another, until Idetermined to lay the whole affair before the two girls, under a solemnpledge of secrecy. As we passed hours in company daily, opportunitieswere not wanting to effect this purpose. I thought my friend was alittle shy on this project; but I had so much affection for Grace, andso much confidence in Lucy's sound judgment, that I was not to be turnedaside from the completion of my purpose. It is now more than forty yearssince the interview took place in which this confidence was bestowed;but every minute occurrence connected with it is as fresh in my mind asif the whole had taken place only yesterday.
We were all four of us seated on a rude bench that my mother had causedto be placed under the shade of an enormous oak that stood on the mostpicturesque spot, perhaps, on the whole farm, and which commanded adistant view of one of the loveliest reaches of the Hudson. Our side ofthe river, in general, does not possess as fine views as the eastern,for the reason that all our own broken, and in some instancesmagnificent back-ground of mountains, fills up the landscape for ourneighbours, while we are obliged to receive the picture as it is set ina humbler frame; but there are exquisite bits to be found on the westernbank, and this was one of the very best of them. The water was as placidas molten silver, and the sails of every vessel in sight were hangingin listless idleness from their several spars, representing commerceasleep. Grace had a deep feeling for natural scenery, and she had abetter mode of expressing her thoughts, on such occasions, than is usualwith girls of fourteen. She first drew our attention to the view by oneof her strong, eloquent bursts of eulogium; and Lucy met the remarkwith a truthful, simple answer, that showed abundant sympathy withthe sentiment, though with less of exaggeration of manner and feeling,perhaps. I seized the moment as favourable for my purpose, and spokeout.
"If you admire a vessel so much, Grace," I said, "you will probably beglad to hear that I think of becoming a sailor."
A silence of near two minutes succeeded, during which time I affected tobe gazing at the distant sloops, and then I ventured to steal a glanceat my companions. I found Grace's mild eyes earnestly riveted onmy face; and, turning from their anxious expression with a littleuneasiness, I encountered those of Lucy looking at me as intently as ifshe doubted whether her ears had not deceived her.
"A sailor, Miles!"--my sister now slowly repeated--"I thought it settledyou were to study law."
"As far from that as we are from England; I've fully made up my mind tosee the world if I can, and Rupert, here--"
"What of Rupert, here?" Grace asked, a sudden change again coming overher swee
t countenance, though I was altogether too inexperienced tounderstand its meaning. "_He_ is certainly to be a clergyman--his dearfather's assistant, and, a long, long, _very_ long time hence, hissuccessor!"
I could see that Rupert was whistling on a low key, and affecting tolook cool; but my sister's solemn, earnest, astonished manner had moreeffect on us both, I believe, than either would have been willing toown.
"Come, girls," I said at length, putting the best face on the matter,"there is no use in keeping secrets from _you_--but remember that whatI am about to tell you _is_ a secret, and on no account is to bebetrayed."
"To no one but Mr. Hardinge," answered Grace. "If you intend to be asailor, he ought to know it."
"That comes from looking at our duties superficially," I had caught thisphrase from my friend, "and not distinguishing properly between theirshadows and their substance."
"Duties superficially! I do not understand you, Miles. Certainly Mr.Hardinge ought to be told what profession you mean to follow. Remember,brother, he now fills the place of a parent to you."
"He is not more _my_ parent than Rupert's--I fancy you will admit thatmuch!"
"Rupert, again! What has Rupert to do with your going to sea?"
"Promise me, then, to keep my secret, and you shall know all; both youand Lucy must give me your words. I know you will not break them, whenonce given."
"Promise him, Grace," said Lucy, in a low tone, and a voice that, evenat that age, I could perceive was tremulous. "If we promise, we shalllearn everything, and then may have some effect on these headstrong boysby our advice."
"Boys! _You_ cannot mean, Lucy, that Rupert is not to be aclergyman--your father's assistant; that Rupert means to be a sailor,too?"
"One never knows what boys will do. Let us promise them, dear; then wecan better judge."
"I do" promise you, Miles, "said my sister, in a voice so solemn asalmost to frighten me.
"And I, Miles," added Lucy; but it was so low, I had to lean forward tocatch the syllables.
"This is honest and right,"--it was honest, perhaps, but verywrong,--"and it convinces me that you are both reasonable, and will beof use to us. Rupert and I have both made up our minds, and intend to besailors."
Exclamations followed from both girls, and another long silencesucceeded.
"As for the law, hang all law!" I continued, hemming, and determined tospeak like a man. "I never heard of a Wallingford who was a lawyer."
"But you have _both_ heard of Hardinges who were clergymen," said Grace,endeavouring to smile, though the expression of her countenance was sopainful that even now I dislike to recall it.
"And sailors, too," put in Rupert, a little more stoutly than I thoughtpossible. "My father's grandfather was an officer in the navy."
"And _my_ father was a sailor himself--in the navy, too."
"But there is no navy in this country now, Miles," returned Lucy, in anexpostulating tone.
"What of that? There are plenty of ships. The ocean is just as big, andthe world just as wide, as if we had a navy to cover the first. I see nogreat objection on that account--do you, Ru?"
"Certainly not. What we want is to go to sea, and that can be done in anIndiaman, as well as in a man-of-war."
"Yes," said I, stretching myself with a little importance. "I fancy anIndiaman, a vessel that goes all the way to Calcutta, round the Capeof Good Hope, in the track of Vasquez de Gama, isn't exactly an Albanysloop."
"Who is Vasquez de Gama?" demanded Lucy, with so much quickness as tosurprise me.
"Why, a _noble_ Portuguese, who discovered the Cape of Good Hope, andfirst sailed round it, and then went to the Indies. You see, girls, even_nobles_ are sailors, and why should not Rupert and I be sailors?"
"It is not that, Miles," my sister answered; "every honest callingis respectable. Have you and Rupert spoken to Mr. Hardinge on thissubject?"
"Not exactly--not spoken--hinted only--that is, blindly--not so as to beunderstood, perhaps."
"He will _never_ consent, boys!" and this was uttered with somethingvery like an air of triumph.
"We have no intention of asking it of him, Grace. Rupert and I intend tobe off next week, without saying a word to Mr. Hardinge on the subject."
Another long, eloquent silence succeeded, during which I saw Lucy buryher face in her apron, while the tears openly ran down my sister'scheek.
"You _do_ not--_cannot_ mean to do anything so cruel, Miles!" Grace atlength said.
"It is exactly because it will not be cruel, that we intend to doit,"--here I nudged Rupert with my elbow, as a hint that I wantedassistance; but he made no other reply than an answering nudge, whichI interpreted into as much as if he had said in terms, "You've gotinto the scrape in your own way, and you may get out of it in the samemanner." "Yes," I continued, finding succour hopeless, "yes, _that's_just it."
"What is just it, Miles? You speak in a way to show that you are notsatisfied with yourself--neither you nor Rupert is satisfied withhimself, if the truth were known."
"I not satisfied with _myself!_ Rupert not satisfied with _himself!_You never were more mistaken in your life, Grace. If there ever were twoboys in New York State that _were_ well satisfied with themselves, theyare just Rupert and I."
Here Lucy raised her face from the apron and burst into a laugh, thetears filling her eyes all the while.
"Believe them, dear Grace," she said. "They are precisely twoself-satisfied, silly fellows, that have got some ridiculous notions intheir heads, and then begin to talk about 'superficial views of duties,'and all such nonsense. My father will set it all right, and the boyswill have had their talk."
"Not so last, Miss Lucy, if you please. Your father will not know asyllable of the matter until you tell him all about it, after weare gone. We intend 'to relieve him from all responsibility in thepremises.'"
This last sounded very profound, and a little magnificent, to myimagination; and I looked at the girls to note the effect. Grace wasweeping, and weeping only; but Lucy looked saucy and mocking, even whilethe tears bedewed her smiling face, as rain sometimes falls while thesun is shining.
"Yes," I repeated, with emphasis, "'of all responsibility in thepremises.' I hope that is plain English, and good English, although Iknow that Mr. Hardinge has been trying to make you both so simple inyour language, that you turn up your noses at a profound sentiment,whenever you hear one."
In 1797, the grandiose had by no means made the deep invasion into theeveryday language of the country, that it has since done. Anything ofthe sublime, or of the recondite, school was a good deal more apt toprovoke a smile, than it is to-day--the improvement proceeding, asI have understood through better judges than myself, from the greatmelioration of mind and manners that is to be traced to the speeches incongress, and to the profundities of the newspapers. Rupert, however,frequently ornamented his ideas, and I may truly say everythingambitious that adorned my discourse was derived from his example. Ialmost thought Lucy impertinent for presuming to laugh at sentimentswhich came from such a source, and, by way of settling my owncorrectness of thought and terms, I made no bones of falling back on mygreat authority, by fairly pointing him out.
"I thought so!" exclaimed Lucy, now laughing with all her heart, thougha little hysterically; "I thought so, for this is just like Rupert,who is always talking to me about 'assuming the responsibility,' and'conclusions in the premises,' and all such nonsense. Leave the boys tomy father, Grace, and he will 'assume the responsibility' of 'concludingthe premises,' and the whole of the foolish scheme along with it!"
This would have provoked me, had not Grace manifested so much sisterlyinterest in my welfare that I was soon persuaded to tell _her_--thatminx Lucy overhearing every syllable, though I had half a mind to tellher to go away--all about our project.
"You see," I continued, "if Mr. Hardinge knows anything about our plan,people will say he ought to have stopped us. 'He a clergyman, and notable to keep two lads of sixteen or seventeen from running away andgoing to sea!' they
will say, as if it were so easy to prevent twospirited youths from seeing the world. Whereas, if he knew nothing aboutit, nobody can blame him. That is what I call 'relieving him from theresponsibility.' Now, we intend to be off next week, or as soon as thejackets and trowsers that are making for us, under the pretence ofbeing boat-dresses, are finished. We mean to go down the river in thesail-boat, taking Neb with us to bring the boat back. Now you knowthe whole story, there will be no occasion to leave a letter for Mr.Hardinge; for, three hours after we have sailed, you can tell himeverything. We shall be gone a year; at the end of that time you maylook for us both, and glad enough shall we all be to see each other.Rupert and I will be young men then, though you call us boys now."
This last picture a good deal consoled the girls. Rupert, too, who hadunaccountably kept back, throwing the labouring-oar altogether on me,came to the rescue, and, with his subtle manner and oily tongue, beganto make the wrong appear the right. I do not think he blinded his ownsister in the least, but I fear he had too much influence over mine.Lucy, though all heart, was as much matter-of-fact as her brother was asophist. He was ingenious in glozing over truths; she, nearly unerringin detecting them. I never knew a greater contrast between two humanbeings, than there was between these two children of the same parents,in this particular. I have heard that the son took after the mother, inthis respect, and that the daughter took after the father; though Mrs.Hardinge died too early to have had any moral influence on the characterof her children.
We came again and again to the discussion of our subject during the nexttwo or three days. The girls endeavoured earnestly to persuade us to askMr. Hardinge's permission for the step we were about to undertake;but all in vain. We lads were so thoroughly determined to "relieve thedivine from all responsibility in the premises," that they might as wellhave talked to stones. We knew these just-minded, sincere, upright girlswould not betray us, and continued obdurate to the last. As we expected,as soon as convinced their importunities were useless, they seriouslyset about doing all they could to render us comfortable. They madeus duck bags to hold our clothes, two each, and mended our linen,stockings, &c., and even helped to procure us some clothes more suitedto the contemplated expedition than most of those we already possessed.Our "long togs," indeed, we determined to leave behind us, retainingjust one suit each, and that of the plainest quality. In the course ofa week everything was ready, our bags well lined, being concealed inthe storehouse at the landing. Of this building I could at any momentprocure the key, my authority as heir-apparent being very considerable,already, on the farm.
As for Neb, he was directed to have the boat all ready for thesucceeding Tuesday evening, it being the plan to sail the day after theWallingford of Clawbonny (this was the name of the sloop) had gone onone of her regular trips, in order to escape a pursuit. I had made allthe calculations about the tide, and knew that the Wallingford would goout about nine in the morning, leaving us to follow before midnight. Itwas necessary to depart at night and when the wharf was clear, in orderto avoid observation.
Tuesday was an uneasy, nervous and sad day for us all, Mr. Hardingeexcepted. As the last had not the smallest distrust, he continued calm,quiet, and cheerful as was his wont. Rupert had a conscience-strickenand furtive air about him, while the eyes of the two dear, girls werescarcely a moment without tears. Grace seemed now the most composedof the two, and I have since suspected that she had had a privateconversation with my ingenious friend, whose convincing powers were ofa very extraordinary quality, when he set about their use in downrightearnest. As for Lucy, she seemed to me to have been weeping the entireday.
At nine o'clock it was customary for the whole family to separate, afterprayers. Most of us went to bed at that early hour, though Mr. Hardingehimself seldom sought his pillow until midnight. This habit compelledus to use a good deal of caution in getting out of the house, in whichRupert and myself succeeded, however, without discovery, just as theclock struck eleven. We had taken leave of the girls in a hasty manner,in a passage, shaking hands, and each of us kissing his own sister,as he affected to retire for the night. To own the truth, we were muchgratified in finding how reasonably Grace and Lucy behaved, on theoccasion, and not a little surprised, for we had expected a scene,particularly with the former.
We walked away from the house with heavy hearts, few leaving thepaternal roof for the first time, to enter upon the chances of theworld, without a deep sense of the dependence in which they had hithertolived. We walked fast and silently, and reached the wharf in less thanhalf an hour, a distance of near two miles. I was just on the point ofspeaking to Neb, whose figure I could see in the boat, when I caught aglimpse of two female forms within six feet of me. There were Grace andLucy, in tears, both waiting our arrival, with a view to see us depart!I confess I was shocked and concerned at seeing these two delicate girlsso far from their home, at such an hour; and my first impulse was to seethem both safely back before I would enter the boat; but to this neitherwould consent. All my entreaties were thrown away, and I was obliged tosubmit.
I know not exactly how it happened, but of the fact I am certain; odd asit may seem, at a moment like that, when about to separate, instead ofeach youth's getting his own sister aside to make his last speeches, andsay his last say to, each of us got his friend's sister aside. I do notmean that we were making love, or anything of the sort; we were a littletoo young, perhaps, for that; but we obeyed an impulse which, as Rupertwould have said, "produced that result."
What passed between Grace and her companion, I do not know. As for Lucyand myself, it was all plain-sailing and fair dealing. The excellentcreature forced on me six gold pieces, which I knew had come to her asan heirloom from her mother, and which I had often heard her declareshe never meant to use, unless in the last extremity. She knew I had butfive dollars on earth, and that Rupert had not one; and she offered methis gold. I told her Rupert had better take it; no, _I_ had better takeit. I should use it more prudently than Rupert, and would use it forthe good of both. "Besides, you are rich," she said, smiling through hertears, "and can repay me--I _lend_ them to you; to Rupert I should haveto _give_ them." I could not refuse the generous girl, and took themoney, all half-joes, with a determination to repay them with interest.Then I folded her to my heart, and kissed her six or eight times withfervour, the first time I had done such a thing in two years, and toremyself away. I do not think Rupert embraced Grace, but I confess I donot know, although we were standing within three or four yards of eachother, the whole time.
"Write, Miles--write, Rupert," said the sobbing girls leaning forwardfrom the wharf, as we shoved off. It was not so dark but we could seetheir dear forms for several minutes, or until a bend in the creek put adark mass of earth between us and them.
Such was the manner of my departure from Clawbonny, in the month ofSeptember, 1797. I wanted a few days of being seventeen; Rupert wassix months older, and Neb was his senior, again, by near a twelvemonth.Everything was in the boat but our hearts. Mine, I can truly say,remained with the two beloved creatures we left on the wharf; whileRupert's was betwixt and between, I fancy--seldom absolutely desertingthe dear tenement in which it was encased by nature.