Dirty Genes

CHAPTER 12

  When they arrived at the apartment on Sunday, Murray greeted them. “Welcome to your new home folks. Let me get your car parked.”

  “The U-Haul and Abra’s car should be here at about 11:00. Let us know when they get here. Thanks for being so great to us Murray. You’ve been a gem with helping us move in.” He slipped a bill of unknown denomination in Murray’s hand. Abra had never thought of tipping him. She’d have to ask Adam about this. She had a lot to learn about sharing Adam’s life.

  When they got on the elevator Adam handed Abra a key. “Here’s the key to your new home. Should I carry you over the threshold?”

  “Do you want a hernia? Anyway, wait until I have a ring on.”

  “Does that mean you’re going to marry me?”

  “Duh. No, I’m going to adopt you.”

  This time Abra had no difficulty using the key to open the door to her new life. Although she had seen the apartment as it was being renovated, it was now complete and it was lovely. The marble floor glistened. She went into the living room and went to the windows and looked out at the park and the river in the distance. She gently touched all the furniture as she strolled through the rooms. Everything was in shades of beige creating a muted brightness and a sense of relaxation. Beige leather couches and chairs, beige marble tables, and taupe curtains. The area rugs were in geometric patterns of browns.

  They went into the kitchen where Adam informed her that his mother bought pots and pans and dishes and put them away in the cupboards. He had no idea what they had and where things were. He also told her that Arlene was upset that she bought towels and sheets in masculine colors, but it was before she knew that Abra would be sharing them. She told Adam that she was sure that the new linens they would get for their bridal showers would be less masculine. Abra laughed and said, “I can dry myself with brown towels as well as white towels.”

  “Abra, I have a welcome gift for you.”

  “Oh Adam. What’s this with all the gifts?”

  “You know I wish this were a ring, but I know you’re not ready. I’ll find a good time to surprise you with one, when you’re ready. Like Candid Camera. Here’s something to remember your first day in our home.”

  It was obviously a jewelry box. She unwrapped the silver paper, carefully folding it up for possible reuse. On the box was the word Rolex. She opened it up to find a silver watch with diamonds encircling the watch face.

  “Do you like it? I got the plainest one I could find so you could wear it to work. I’ll get you another for dress later on.”

  She looked at him with disbelief. “A Rolex watch. My God. I always skipped over the Rolex ads in magazines since I couldn’t afford one. I couldn’t even afford to dream of one. Oh Adam, it’s perfect. It’s so classy. No more Timexes and Fossils for me. Adam, what do I say when you give me such gifts? I’m speechless.”

  “I thought a watch would be a good way of marking the beginning of our time together.”

  She removed her clunky Fossil watch, replacing it with the sleek Rolex. She kept turning her arm to examine it from different perspectives.

  “Adam, I’ve never coveted luxurious things, but I may be changing thanks to you. Can you afford all these expensive presents?”

  Adam laughed, “Yes Abra, I can afford them. Remember I’m a tax lawyer. I make lots of money by saving rich people lots of money.”

  Adam put her overnight bag in the bedroom. “Okay, let’s see who gets what dresser space. I’ve used most of the drawers. I think we’re going to need another dresser. And we may have to use the guest room closet for out-of-season clothes. There’s a lot of empty space in the bathroom cabinets so I think we’ll be alright there. Here’s the most important piece of furniture in the place - the bed. Do you want the right or the left side? Once you pick a side, it’s yours forever.”

  Abra plopped down on the right side of the bed. “This is the most comfortable bed I have ever been in. I may spend all my time here.”

  “Me too.”

  A buzzer sounded alerting them that Jose had arrived with the U-Haul. They spent the rest of the day unpacking and getting settled. They ordered Chinese for supper since it had started to rain and they didn’t feel like going out. Abra looked around. “How long do you think it will take for me to feel at home?”

  “I could ask the same question. I’ve only lived here for a little more than a week. Somehow it doesn’t seem like Aunt Edith’s apartment until you go into the library. I think that’s good, having memories of her but also having a new start.”

  “I feel a little funny making love here knowing that it was Aunt Edith’s bedroom. Is that weird?”

  “Yes, it’s weird. But it’s our apartment now and we can make love wherever and whenever we want. Maybe not the library. Let’s try the bed now.”

  Sunday night Adam fussed about Abra and what she would do alone on Monday morning. He told her that Minerva, Edith’s cleaning lady, would be cleaning for them every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. If they needed her more, she would arrange for her to stay a full day. Abra asked, “What will she do?”

  “What did you do when you cleaned your place? She’ll dust and vacuum and do the laundry and handle the dry cleaning. I know you think you can clean the place, but once you start working, you won’t have any time. And don’t be one of these women who cleans before the cleaning woman comes. Believe me, it won’t be hard getting used to having someone clean. Especially Minerva. She’s an angel.”

  He told her he would call her whenever he had a chance to see if everything was alright. Abra laughed. “Now you’re acting like a parent who’s leaving his kid alone without a babysitter for the first time. I’m really excited about tomorrow. It’s the first day of the rest of my life, as the old saying goes and I’m eager to start. I think I might be able to handle being alone. Adam, you need to go back to your professional life and live it as you always have, except for the evenings and the weekends. That’s my time.”

  Monday morning Adam went back to his usual routine of leaving for work at 6:30 and working until 4:30 when he would go to his gym for a half-hour swim. Then he would be home between 6 and 6:30. He kissed Abra as she luxuriated in bed and told her he’d try to call her as soon as he had a break. Abra laid in bed and wondered what she should do. For the first time in her life, she didn’t have a routine. She was sure this wouldn’t last once she got a job so she nestled in the thick, puffy comforter and pillows.

  At 8:00 Minerva rang the doorbell rang even though she had a key. Abra asked Minerva to share a cup of coffee before starting work so they could get to know each other and Minerva could tell her what she would be doing. After two cups of coffee, Abra and Minerva bonded over their affection and fond memories of Edith, and Abra began to feel more comfortable about having her help with the cleaning.

  Abra spent the morning unpacking and settling into the apartment. There were so many things she didn’t know where to put. For now, she put undecided things in the guest bedroom, that had been her room on her many visits to Miss B. She unpacked the boxes of mementos of her life that Edith had saved. She had put the boxes in a storage locker in Fairfax and had never even had a chance to look at them. Now she put everything back in the file cabinets where she had taken them from a few months earlier.

  In the afternoon she explored the neighborhood. It was so different from the suburbs where she had lived for the last six years. There were no big box stores anywhere. No Walmart. No Target. She wasn’t sure where she would buy her shampoos, greeting cards, and aspirins. Maybe she could drive out to a Target in New Jersey over the weekend and stock up on what she needed. There were lots of foreign restaurants, all of them small. Abra and Adam could travel the world by eating at the Spanish, French, Russian, Thai, Korean, Ethiopian, and Brazilian restaurants in a two block stretch. There was a Barnes and Noble so she would have a place to buy her books and Starbucks coffee. She went to the grocery that she and Edith had shopped at in the past. She had check
ed the cupboards in the kitchen before she left and they were bare, except for the jar of instant coffee that she and Minerva had used for their get-to-know each other chat. She had lots to buy, but she knew she couldn’t carry everything back. She asked a clerk how she could get everything to her apartment and was told that there was a delivery boy who would gladly deliver her order. She would have to get used to shopping in a small grocery instead of the Giant or Safeway supermarkets where she had bought her food cheaply. She knew the Virginia price of each item she bought and was astounded that the New York prices were 50 to 100% higher. Now she was certain she would drive out to Jersey to do her food shopping. She couldn’t break her frugal shopping habits.

  She knew that she didn’t want to go out for dinner every night because she wanted to control what she and Adam ate and because it was too expensive. She made a mental note to talk to Adam about money. He never seemed to pay attention to money while she thought about the cost of everything. They needed to decide how they were going to share expenses. Who would pay for what? Even though she was unemployed now, she had the cushion of money from her inheritance from Miss Benjamin. She knew she would have to learn to cook so after she finished grocery shopping, she went to Barnes and Noble and bought three cookbooks on easy cooking for two.

  When Adam came home at 6:15, she had wine and cheese waiting for him in the living room, and a dinner of broiled salmon, spinach salad, and hot bread waiting on the dining room table.

  “I can’t believe this. You’ve made it like a home already. How did you learn to cook in twelve hours?”

  “Here are my new bibles – cooking for two, quick meals for two, and gourmet cooking for two on a budget. I probably won’t be able to do this that often once I start working so don’t get used to it. But I could cook things in advance and freeze dinners.”

  “I can’t believe Abra, queen of the TV dinner, is now Julia Child.”

  After dinner, they sat over coffee and Adam said. “I contacted your parents today. We’ll see them at 1:00 on Saturday. They’ve moved. They live in Brooklyn near Coney Island. They live with all the Russians. I don’t know why they picked that area. Maybe Jacob has joined the Russian Mafia.”

  “Who did you talk to?’

  “Your father.”

  “What did he say when you told them I wanted to see them?”

  “He said that they didn’t want to see you. I heard your mother in the background prompting him what to say. I said that you wanted to see if you could resolve some issues. I’m not sure he knew what I was talking about but he said to come. He asked if they should have their lawyer there and I said I wasn’t coming as a lawyer but as your friend.”

  “It’s so funny to hear you say ‘their lawyer.’ They never would have had a lawyer when I lived with them, but I’m sure as soon as this hit the papers, the ambulance chasers were chasing them down and they had their choice. They probably picked the sleaziest one who convinced them he could get them the most money. I picture this guy with slicked back greasy hair wearing a plaid suit. Now tell me isn’t that some stereotype about sharks in your profession.”

  Adam laughed and said, “The guy also has rings on his pinky fingers.”

  Adam took Abra’s hand and intensely looked into her eyes.

  “Abra, I want to ask you a question about something I can’t stop thinking about. Why didn’t you ever try to contact Rachel or Noah all these years? You left your parents, but why did you leave them? It would have been so easy to find them and see them again.”

  She gulped back sobs and then controlled herself. “You know that’s a real sore spot. I try not to think about it. I could have found out if they were still living with my parents or if they were living in a group home and I could have visited them without seeing my parents. But I didn’t. Last September when Rachel died, I could have contacted Noah. I knew where he lived, but I didn’t even consider it. I wanted to completely cut off all ties to my past.

  What kind of person am I to not to try to see these two people who I loved and who loved me more than anything in the world? I hate myself when I think of how I deserted them. I don’t feel guilty about never seeing Jacob and Miriam, but I feel guilty for not trying to see Rachel and Noah, but not guilty enough to do anything about it. I’ve pushed this out of my mind for almost 17 years and now it’s front and center. Why didn’t I ever see Rachel? I’ll never see her now. Never. My friends, everybody, always said I was such a good moral person. They didn’t know the real me. A moral person wouldn’t reject her siblings just because it wasn’t comfortable to bring up the past. I just wanted total and complete freedom from the past. It was all or nothing. I was afraid that if I saw them I would be sucked back into their lives and I would be Abra Ginzberg again. I was happy with the life I created. I had no ties. I could concentrate just on me. Does that make you think less of me?’

  “You’re not perfect Abra, but nothing could make me think less of you. You’re going to have to face up to this situation after you see your parents.”

  “I can’t think about that now. Adam, please be there for me. I can’t go back alone.” She looked at him desperately as her eyes overflowed with tears.

  “Abra, for God’s sake, you should know I’ll be there for you for everything good and bad in our lives.” Adam looked at her with new eyes. He was seeing a vulnerability in Abra he had only glimpsed before. There was still a frightened child inside Abra, one who had been camoflauged by the responsible child who made adult decisions.

  On Tuesday, Abra interviewed at the Child Development Center at NYU Medical School. The job involved doing psychological testing as part of a multidisciplinary diagnostic team. Before she was introduced to the staff, she met with Dr. Gottlieb, the director, who after greeting her said that she was lucky to be marrying into the Benjamin family. He talked about how generous the family was to so many charities. She didn’t know how to respond so she just nodded her head and asked questions about the job. She knew that the job was hers just because of the recommendation from the Benjamin family. But first she had to find out if she wanted the job. She met the staff, who were friendly and interested in her. The job would require her to test a child for a number of hours, present her results at a multidisciplinary team meeting, write a report, and be involved at the conference where the results were presented to the family. The biggest drawback was there was no extended involvement with children. She would be a testing machine. This was not the job for her.

  On Thursday, she interviewed with the Sarah Sawyer, Director of the Grove Park School. It was a private school for elementary and high school students with severe learning and behavior disabilities, a school that would have been perfect for Wendy. The school was well-known in New York as being the school where the rich and famous sent their problem children. Parent-teacher night at Grove Park looked like a get-together for UN delegates, CEOs of major corporations, and Broadway producers.

  Abra was interviewing for a job involving testing and counseling with the children at the kindergarten through third grade levels. She was more optimistic about this job because it would involve intensive interaction with children.

  The school was in an elegant restored mansion on the West Side. The outside was a study in contrasts, with the early 1900 design representing the building’s origins and modern sculptures of dragons and dinosaurs gracing the lawn representing the building’s current use. As soon as she entered the front door, she liked the ambience of the school. There was an emphasis on the arts with sculpture and paintings created by the children throughout the building. Walking through the halls was like walking through an art museum.

  She was greeted by Sarah, an intense, dynamic woman who had started the school 25 years earlier because she hadn’t been able to find an appropriate school for her son who had special learning needs. The school had grown from 20 to 200 kids. Over the years, Sarah had become a celebrity in her own right because of the influence she wielded over the family life of many of the
rich and famous.

  As soon as they sat down in Sarah’s office, Sarah grilled Abra on her philosophy of education and her views on assessment and treatment approaches. But mostly, she wanted to know how she felt about kids and how she thought she would fit into the school. Abra could have talked for hours. These were favorite topics; children, education, assessment, and treatment. Finally, Sarah stopped her and said, “Let’s take a look around the school. I think if I let you talk until you’re finished, it will be supper time.”

  There were no regular classes because of the summer break, but there were special summer programs. As Sarah led Abra on a tour of the school, they looked through the glass in the classroom doors to see the different activities taking place. They observed kids working on their reading, writing, and math skills. Some kids were doing word drills, reading words such as cat, hat, and sat, while others were decoding compound words such as somewhere, somehow, and sometime. In another room, kids were acting out stories they had read, and still others were writing a group play. Wherever you looked, teachers were teaching and students were learning. Abra could feel the electricity in the air; she could feel the excitement of education taking place.

  Abra spent some time in a classroom observing an enrichment class where kids were studying American Indians and building a five foot teepee, another where the kids were studying Antarctica and creating penguin colonies, and an art class where kids were painting graffiti on large rolls of paper on the walls. In each setting the teachers and children seemed excited about what they were doing. However, as she approached a classroom she heard a child screaming profanities. She peeked through the glass in the door to see a boy hiding behind a bookcase as a teacher and an aide tried to entice him to come out. This was a reminder that this was a school for kids with special needs.

  When she and Sarah met for her exit interview, Abra knew she wanted the job. This was a place where she could make a difference and be happy. Sarah told Abra that she had called all of her references and they were unanimous in saying that she was an outstanding professional in all respects. When Sarah offered her the job, she accepted before she knew the salary, the benefits, or her specific responsibilities. Sarah stated that she wasn’t hiring her because of her personal relationship with the Benjamins, but because she was sure she would fit in at Grove Park. Sarah asked her to start on July 16th, but Abra asked if she could start on the 30th instead because she was going on vacation. She and Adam were going on their first vacation together, to Santorini in the Greek Isles. Abra would get to use her passport again.

  Abra thought the interview was over, when Sarah said, “Abra, I suppose I should tell you about my contacts with the Benjamin family and Adam. You’ll find out eventually anyhow. Arlene and I have been friends since college. We were even in each other’s bridal parties. My son, Harry, and Adam are the same age. Our families used to get together a lot and it was painful for me to compare the two boys. Adam was well behaved, sweet, and brilliant. Harry was a mess, totally out of control. Medication didn’t help. Psychotherapy didn’t help. He had academic problems because he never settled down long enough to learn anything. His daily temper tantrums took forever to control.

  We were all at the Montauk house the summer the boys were 6. It was a rainy day and Harry was running around the house not responding to restraint and driving everyone crazy. I thought we might have to leave early and go back to the city. Adam was doing a puzzle on the floor when Harry ran through it and messed it up. Adam caught him by the leg and yanked him down. He laid across Harry’s body and quietly said, ‘Harry, I know you want to be friends and play, but you can’t act like this and have friends. You ruin games and you’re not nice to people. I really want to be your friend, but you have to control yourself. Come into my room and we’ll play with my Batman stuff. You can drive the batmobile. And when it stops raining we’ll dig for crabs’. Would you believe Harry went with him and they played for the rest of the afternoon. We didn’t even see them again until supper.

  That was when I decided to start a school. I figured if a six-year old boy could calm Harry down and get him to play, adults should be able to figure out how to do it. The next year I started Grove Park School. Harry has had a hard time, but now he’s found himself and doing quite well. He manages a restaurant in Key West. He’s great at that because it takes a lot of movement from one thing to another and that’s his talent, lots of movement.

  Your Adam is a unique person. I have never seen a six-year old with such understanding and empathy. He’s still the same Adam as a grown-up, understanding and good to others. Abra, I’m hiring you because I know you’re competent, but I’m also hiring you because of Adam. I would do anything for him.”

  “Sarah, I’m glad you told me this. But I want you to know I won’t take advantage of how you feel about Adam. I will do the best I can so that you’ll never have any regrets about hiring me.”

  When she got home, she tried to be calm and not explode with happiness when Adam came in the door. But at 6:30 when Adam unlocked the door, Abra ran at him and jumped into his arms. “I’ve got a job that I think I’m going to love. I’ll be psychologist for the lower grades at Grove Park School. Adam, she told me how you impacted her life and how you were Harry’s friend. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I think she exaggerates my influence. I just got him calmed down for the day. Remember I was this rolly polly kid laying on top of this scrawny kid and telling him to be quiet. He probably thought I was going to crush him to death. He went back to his old self the next day. Maybe I should have started off each day by laying on top of him.”

  “Adam, maybe you should have been a psychologist. You do have so much empathy and understanding of social situations.”

  “One psychologist is more than enough for this family.”

  “Adam, Sarah is such a dynamic woman. I love her philosophy of learning and how to reach out to kids. I think this will work out. I was so worried I wouldn’t find a job that was personally fulfilling.”

  “Abra, I’m so happy for you. See you can be a psychologist in New York as well as in Virginia. You could be a psychologist in China and even on the moon.”

  Her life was coming together if she could survive Saturday. Dreaded Saturday.