A Pie Plate Pilgrimage

  Chapter 12 - Oscar Braun

  Normally, the prospect of a Saturday business meeting would ruin her weekend, but Lydia was looking forward to this one. Oscar had sent an email asking if she could meet his friend for breakfast. Oscar was still convinced that this guy would be a strong candidate for the book but the morning was the only time he could meet on Saturday.

  Lydia arrived first and was surprised when she looked up from her menu to see Oscar come through the door alone. He had neither his fiancée nor the new author candidate in tow.

  “Where’s your friend?” she asked, worried that she had lost another potential author without even having met him.

  “He’s on his way,” Oscar said, hanging up his coat at the end of their booth. He took out a small pamphlet from his back pocket and put it on the table in front of her. “I thought you might like to see this first. It’s a promotional brochure for the school we go to.”

  “Hey, that’s you,” she said after spotting his name and photo near the bottom of a testimonials page. “Did you ask them to mention your future father-in-law in your bio?”

  “No, that was not my choice,” he insisted. “When I showed it to Evangeline, I don’t know who she was more proud of; me for getting picked or her dad for getting mentioned. Anyway, I’m not showing it to you to brag, the guy on the top of the page is who we’re meeting today.”

  “Oh,” she said, visually scrolling up. “Evangeline was right, he is cute.”

  “Stylish,” Oscar corrected.

  The photo was small but Lydia saw enough to be impressed with his appearance. She was less excited though about his credentials. She had heard a lot of bad stories of missionaries forcing people to abandon their traditional culture and religion and embrace Christianity.

  “Am I supposed to know who his great-grandfather is?” she asked.

  “No, not even most Christians would know who he is, but those that do would be impressed by the connection,” Oscar answered. “He went over to China a long time ago. He was so successful that he not only won converts and established a big church there, but he was able to build a Christian school and a hospital. He wrote a lot of good articles for other missionaries about how to be more effective in various cultural contexts.”

  As Lydia listened to the explanation about the family connection, Zack walked in, spotted Oscar and walked toward their table. Without needing to answer any of her questions, Lydia already knew that he had passed the first test. More than any of the other candidates, this guy would look good on a book cover. He had a muscular build without looking like a meathead and his slightly tanned complexion went well with his medium length blonde hair. He wasn’t really her type, at least not entirely, but Lydia knew plenty of girls that would go for a guy like him.

  She stood up to greet him as he approached their table.

  “Nice to meet you,” they said to each other, almost simultaneously as they shook hands.

  Oscar slid over to make room for Zack in their booth and handed him a menu. “Good to see you, buddy,” he said.

  “So Zack, how long have you known Oscar?” Lydia asked.

  “We first met when he started taking classes at the seminary last semester,” he said.

  “And we’re in a few classes together right now,” Oscar said.

  “Yes, we are,” Zack said with a chuckle. “You should have seen him in our Systematic Theology class last week.”

  “Why? What happened?” Lydia asked.

  “He stood up to challenge the professor, who didn’t take too kindly to being interrupted. By the time the exchange was done, Oscar cowered back into his seat like a dog with his tail between his legs. The rest of us were just trying to keep a straight face.”

  “Trying unsuccessfully,” Oscar added. “Look, I was just asking him why, when there are tons of other atonement theories out there, we only hear about penal substitution. It’s academically irresponsible.”

  “And you know that Reverend Taylor wrote his Master’s thesis on Anselm’s view of substitutionary atonement?” Zack asked.

  “Reverend Taylor is Evangeline’s dad,” Oscar said, trying to bring Lydia back into the conversation.

  “Just admit that systematic theology isn’t your strongest class,” Zack said.

  “That’s fine with me,” Oscar shrugged. “I honestly don’t even think it should count as a class.”

  “It’s a mandatory course, Oscar. It gives us the tools to layout precisely how we understand and relate to God.”

  “Zack, I’m going to set up an online dating profile for you. The tagline will read, ‘True love is gathering, categorizing and systematizing as much information about each other as possible.’ The ladies will flock to you.”

  “Is this how you really feel or are you just upset I got a better mark than you did?”

  Oscar laughed and avoided the question. Then he looked at Lydia and added, “We’re also in an informal midweek group study together, where this kind of argument happens pretty regularly.”

  “I get the sense that there are a few things you two disagree on,” Lydia said, more question than statement.

  “More than a few,” Zack explained, “we disagree so loudly and so often that I could hardly believe he was recommending me for this project.”

  Lydia was a little taken aback by this. Watching them interact, it was clear that their confrontation was more playful than anything else, but she needed to know that Oscar held Zack in high regard. Before she could respond, the waitress came to see if they were ready to order, interrupting the conversation.

  “So, what kind of garbage have you been telling this girl,” Zack said to Oscar after the waitress left.

  “He told me that religion is pointless,” Lydia said before Oscar could defend himself.

  “Well, there we would agree,” Zack said. “True Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship with the person of Jesus Christ.”

  “That works if you’re using Bonheoffer’s definitions, but you’ll have trouble convincing most people that Christianity isn’t a religion,” Oscar responded.

  “Religion,” Zack said, more to Lydia than to Oscar, “is all about blindly following a set of rules and going through a set of rituals and routines. Being a Christian means more than that, it means I’m journeying with Jesus and I live my life according to that relationship.”

  “Still,” Oscar continued, “I’m sure you would say that a true Christian participates in communion as a rule and ritually prays, reads the Bible, and attends church.”

  “Of course, but we do those things to keep up our part of the two-way relationship we can all have with our Creator,” Zack insisted.

  “Okay,” said Oscar, “but most people define a religion as a combination of a set of rituals and an inherent set of beliefs. Wouldn’t you say that all Christians should believe a few core statements and participate in certain routines?”

  “I brush my teeth every morning too, Oscar, and I believe that if everyone did the same, the world would be a better place. That doesn’t mean we call dental hygiene a religion though, does it?”

  Oscar laughed and was about to respond, then he looked over at Lydia. “We can play word games all day long Zack, but we should probably let Lydia ask the questions.”

  Lydia’s notepad was open, but she wasn’t sure what, if anything, of the current conversation was worth recording. She fluctuated between wanting to write down everything and wanting to write down nothing. Luckily, she had turned on her tape recorder as soon as Oscar arrived. She wasn’t sure how or when to interrupt, so Oscar’s interjection was a welcomed break. “I guess I’d like to hear a little bit about who you are and where you come from,” she explained. “Usually I like to research my candidates, but Oscar just dropped your name out of the blue, so I feel like I’m at a bit of a disadvantage.”

  “Well, I guess the first thing I should tell you is that I grew up as an MK,” he began.

  “I’m sorry,” Lydia interrupted, “what’s an
MK?”

  “Oh,” said Oscar apologetically, “in the Christian world, we have PKs and MKs, pastors’ kids and missionary kids.”

  Zack continued, “There’s almost an assumption that people like me will at some point rebel and try to throw off the expectations placed on them by their parents and religious community.”

  “I see,” said Lydia, scribbling down some notes. “I need you guys to remember that I come from a different world. I don’t use the same terms as you. Even the word missionary means something entirely different to me than it does to you.” Lydia was trying to be funny, and while Oscar seemed to be concealing a laugh, Zack’s emotionless nod indicated he didn’t get the joke. “So please, no acronyms,” Lydia concluded, wondering if she was guilty of using the same cultural terminology.

  “No problem,” said Zack and he continued introducing himself. He talked about the places his parents had gone and how growing up, he had usually been the only white child in the village except for his days at schools full of other MKs. He talked about his own teenage rebellion, which seemed pretty mild in Lydia’s estimation, before he eventually came to grips with his parents calling and, at a relatively young age, he too accepted a missionary assignment.

  His stories were interesting and he did tell them with the enthusiasm of a good storyteller. Still, Lydia didn’t think it was enough to make a good first impression. That is to say, besides his physical appearance, she didn’t know if he would make a good second impression. She assumed that once upon a time a missionary could command some kind of instant respect, but she was pretty sure that time had passed.

  “So is this just some kind of short trip back?” she asked.

  “No, he’s back for good,” interjected Oscar, “but I think this is where I think it gets interesting. Tell her why you came back.”

  Lydia hoped that he would say that he suddenly realized it was an incredibly intolerant remnant of imperialism or that it was fundamentally wrong to enforce your religious views on someone else. She doubted he would say any of those things, but she also doubted that she would find anything else interesting like Oscar suggested that she would.

  “I came back for two reasons,” Zack began. “The first was that I recognized that I wasn’t needed. The church is so strong in many parts of the world that my presence as a western missionary only serves to undermine their ability to call and train their own leaders and teachers. Plus, with the reputation of western powers like the USA, politics can often distract from the message, meaning that church leaders from other countries don’t have to deal with the same issues that I, as a westerner, do.”

  It wasn’t the answer she was looking for, but it was more tolerant than she was expecting, and more importantly, it was more marketable. Maybe this explanation by itself might not sell him, but she could fluff it up.

  “The second reason is that I am needed here. Christianity is gaining ground in many of the world’s poorest and most oppressive countries, but in this land of unprecedented wealth and freedom, it’s declining. Missionaries are needed here as badly as anywhere.”

  This second point was disheartening to Lydia. She, for one, felt that she had encountered enough Christians with missionary ambitions in her lifetime, and she certainly didn’t want to be responsible for a book that encouraged other Christians to step up their proselytizing even more.

  “It might not sound like much now,” Oscar said cautiously, “but I think this is the premise of your book.” She tried to hide her displeasure, but he continued, as though responding to her scepticism. “Before you write it off, you need to know that he’s not saying Christians should be preaching on street corners and knocking on doors.”

  “Not at all,” protested Zack. “I know some missionaries who would do that, but none of them would say it was their most effective way of building up the church. It’s always the relationship that’s paramount, and I think I’ve learned a lot about how to help people build more sincere relationships, and use those relationships to share the good news.”

  “Do you think Christians today want to be missionaries?” Lydia asked. If the book was going to be marketable, this question would need to be asked, but she definitely didn’t like the idea so far.

  “No,” said Zack quickly, “but I do think they want to find ways to talk about their faith without being annoying.”

  “My guess, Lydia, is that most people are quite willing to hear new ideas,” said Oscar, “but that they give much more credence to people they trust and people whose lifestyle is in keeping with the message they preach.”

  “What I want,” Zack said, “is to call Christians to earn that kind of trust from the people around them before they feel the need to talk about faith issues.”

  “Remember that the topic of the book is chosen by Westminster Printers,” said Lydia, trying to sound unbiased, “but what is an example of one of the things you’ve learned that would apply to this particular book idea that you’re recommending?”

  “One thing I learned overseas was that I was always advertising. It was what I ran from as a teenager, but I realized as an adult that this pressure was calling me to a high level of consistency. As the only white man in a southern Asian village, everyone knew who I was. So, if I helped repair the roof over the orphanage or if I helped negotiate higher wages for farm workers, people might notice that it was the white guy that did that, and then maybe a few more people came to hear me, or my dad, preach that week. But if I lost focus during the next week and I was disrespectful to a waitress, if I showed my anger to a fellow driver on the road, if I turned my nose up at a local dish, people would definitely remember that it was the white guy, and they would assume that my behaviour was a fundamental part of my character, part of my racial and national identity, and that it was a direct result of the message I or my father preached. Those things would definitely have a negative impact on how many people wanted to hear the good news.”

  “So what would you want your readers to learn from an observation like this?” Lydia asked.

  “The important thing to remember is that all of us are advertising something.”

  Zack’s message was delivered frankly, and with much more confidence than Lydia liked, but she had to admit that most of what he was saying had some self-critical overtones.

  “Lydia, you too are advertising your own set of beliefs.” She was going to ask to be left out of his illustrations, but she didn’t like interrupting her candidates too often. “Before anyone will even consider accepting your beliefs, they have to be convinced by what they see. It’s hard to present convincing evidence that your own beliefs are valid, but it’s very easy to present counter-evidence. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that the Christian life is centered on doing good deeds. Christians need to speak the truth, but if their actions don’t match their words, the outside world will see them and the whole church as frauds.”

  “Aren’t they already frauds if their words don’t match their actions?” Oscar asked Zack.

  “I could answer that,” he started, “but it would quickly become one of our semantic arguments, and I think Lydia wants to quickly get through some more questions.”

  Lydia was sort of hoping to hear his answer to that question, but hearing the two of them bicker didn’t feel like progress either.

  “What Zack is hinting at,” interrupted Oscar before Lydia had a chance to think of another question, “is that he has to leave in about ten minutes.”

  “I hope that’s okay,” said Zack apologetically.

  “Sure,” said Lydia. “I would like to ask a few more specific questions though, if I could.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “And I’ll try to stay out of it,” said Oscar, returning to his breakfast.

  “There are two questions I ask to all of my candidates,” she began. “The first one is, what do you think is the most important part of being a Christian?”

  “That answer is simple,” he said confidently, “to further the Kingdom of He
aven. But let me unpack that for you. Christians are called to give their ultimate allegiance to God, and not to any earthly power. The reward for participating in that Kingdom is an eternity in paradise with our Lord, but like any other kingdom, we are constantly seeking to grow. So, we are constantly at war with the evils within ourselves and in our world, and we need to constantly be winning converts to our cause.”

  “Okay,” she said, jotting a few things down, “and we’ve sorta talked about this already, but if we did pick you, whether we use this missionary idea or another one, what kind of people would need to hear what you have to say?”

  He was quiet for a while. “I guess I’d hope that I could reach the people who think that the mission field is ‘over there’, the ones who think that we send missionaries, the farther the better, and that their own land is in no need of missionaries.”

  “Okay great,” she said.

  “So we’re done?” he asked.

  “Just one more thing, I think Oscar mentioned the sample piece to you, so how soon can you get that in?”

  “I can finish it off and email it to you tonight some time,” Zack promised as he put his jacket on and gathered his things.

  Lydia wasn’t crazy about all the answers he had given, but she conceded that she could do worse than working closely with a cute guy that met deadlines.

  Zack reached for his wallet, but Lydia quickly said, “Don’t worry, breakfast is on me.”

  “Technically,” Oscar interjected, “it is courtesy of Westminster Printers, her publisher.”

  “Either way,” Lydia said, not wanting to remind Oscar that the company had taken away any extra funding until the next board meeting, “don’t worry about it.”

  “Okay, thanks,” Zack said as he slowly put his wallet back in his pocket. “I appreciate it and I look forward to hearing from you.” Then he gave a quick wave to Oscar and he headed for the door.

  “And you’re staying?” Lydia asked, looking over at Oscar.

  He looked up from his unfinished breakfast and asked, “Is that okay?”

  “It’s fine with me,” she said. She was more concerned that his fiancée might not approve of the arrangement, but she didn’t want to mention that.

  “So what did you think?” he asked.

  “He’s alright, I guess, but are you sure this is a guy you could work with as part of the book’s development team?”

  “Zack might not see it this way, but I do enjoy his company. He’s got a lot to say and really cares about his subject matter. Plus, I think it’s critically important to surround myself with people I don’t necessarily agree with. Too many people surround themselves only with like-minded people. Disagreeing with Zack keeps me intellectually responsible.”

  “He certainly has a broad range of experiences,” Lydia admitted, “but there are still some things I’m not sure about.”

  “Like what?” Oscar asked.

  She wasn’t sure how much of her skepticism he wanted to hear, but for her to be able to move forward with his idea, she needed to ask the question.

  “It’s the whole missionary thing. I feel like we as a society should have stopped allowing people to do that a long time ago. Hasn’t the church learned that it’s wrong to destroy a people’s culture?”

  Oscar nodded as he thought about a response. “I think it’s terrible when people use military power or wealth or any other kind of trickery to coerce a people to do anything, especially if it is to embrace religious values. I personally believe it’s contradictory to force people into a religious experience.”

  “But do you admit that missionaries destroy culture?”

  “I can give you a yes answer and a no answer,” he said after a short pause. “Which do you want to hear first?”

  “You don’t need to convince me with your ‘yes’ answer, so I may as well hear your ‘no’ answer first.”

  “Okay. It’s important to remember that there are many things that define a culture. We could probably think of some obvious exceptions, but generally missionaries have no interest in changing a people’s diet or the clothes that they wear. Most of them try to incorporate cultural singing styles into their church services. Some even try to accommodate some cultural festivals into the church calendar. Now, you can call that deception if you want, but by doing those things they are actively preserving the culture. All over the world Bible translating missionaries are helping to preserve languages that would otherwise disappear. I am almost certain that never in your life will you meet a person who could not read the Bible in their ancestral mother tongue. There are probably no greater protectors of culture in the world than Christian missionaries.”

  “Maybe,” Lydia insisted, “but religion and religious festivals are still a fundamental part of the culture.”

  “Are they?” Oscar asked. “If there’s an atheist living in Dublin, is he less Irish simply because he’s not Catholic? The same for an agnostic in New Delhi, is he less Indian just because he’s not a Hindu? Also, if someone doesn’t have the freedom to accept a new religion, is that a culture you want to preserve?”

  “I guess I’ve just heard a lot of stories about missionaries who are very disrespectful,” Lydia said without answering the question.

  “I bet I’ve heard about more,” he admitted, “but I truly believe that they are the extreme cases. But that’s the way life works; we hear about the extreme cases because they are extreme and shocking, but those negative examples ruin it for everyone else.”

  Lydia was still taking notes and the tape recorder kept rolling. “You had a ‘yes’ answer too?” she asked.

  “You probably won’t like this either,” he began, “but I think destroying cultures is at the heart of the Christian message. Culture is all about assigning yourself an identity, a sense of worth and a place in the world based on who your parents were and where you were born. Jesus sees as so much more than that.”

  Lydia was quiet for a while. She wanted to argue back, but she also wanted to be nice. “Sorry to say Oscar, but you still haven’t convinced me that missionaries are a force for good in the world.”

  “That’s fine,” he said. “I’m not trying to convince you. I’m trying to give you what you need so that you can convince your Board of Directors about this project, and maybe so that you can work on it with a clean conscience.”

  Flipping back to the end of her Zack notes, Lydia asked. “So what did you think of his last two answers?”

  Oscar paused for a moment as he thought about what he had said. “I think that ‘advancing the Kingdom of Heaven’ was a good answer, but Zack, like a lot of Christians, thinks that the Kingdom life mostly involves fighting metaphorical military type battles against its various enemies. The way I see it, living in the Kingdom of Heaven means doing the work of the King. I think we advance the Kingdom by being the Kingdom. When people recognize Christians as people who feed the hungry and comfort the disturbed, then the Kingdom is advanced.”

  “Sorry for my ignorance, but can you explain to me what you and Zack mean by Kingdom of Heaven?”

  “Right. I shouldn’t assume you know that phrase either,” apologized Oscar. “In Jesus’ day everyone assumed that whatever nation was the strongest, obviously had the biggest god. That mindset was a big problem for the Jews, who were subject to the Romans at the time. But most Jews believed that a promised leader was coming who was going to come and kick the Romans out of Israel. When Jesus came, people thought he was this promised leader, but then he started talking about a different kind of Kingdom. When he saw a rich man give up his savings to the poor he said the Kingdom of Heaven had come to that place. He said it was the kind of Kingdom that some people might have to die for, but one that couldn’t be kept by killing for it. The Kingdom he was talking about isn’t an earthly kingdom. It’s a kingdom of the mind, one you voluntarily join, one that’s more important than the nation you live in on earth, and one where the King knows everyone by name.”

  “Could you ever write
a book like this?” she heard herself asking.

  “I don’t have the face or the credentials to help you sell any books, and my ideas probably aren’t edgy enough to be cool, and not cool enough to be profitable.”

  “Just throwing it out there,” she said, taking the last sip from her coffee mug.

  “So what happens now?” he asked.

  “I meet with the Board in a few weeks, and then my fate is in their hands.”

  “Are you ready for it?”

  “I have to be. If I’m not, there will never be another chance like this for me,” she said with an air of resignation in her voice.

  “You are already good enough, Lydia,” Oscar said. “You have the education, you have the skills, and you have the determination. Whether you believe it comes from God or yourself, or some combination of the two, you are already good enough, and they have just not yet been convinced.”

  Lydia wasn’t expecting this pep talk, but it struck a chord with her. It really was too bad that Oscar didn’t want to put himself forward as a potential author. Suddenly, she had an idea.

  “We’ve talked a few times about Christian hypocrisy,” she began. “Oscar, could you send me an email, like a longer one, where you explain one particular example in depth? And I like how you normally do it, by adding some redemptive aspect to it. Could you do that for me in the next few days?”

  “No problem,” he agreed, puzzled by this specific request. “And you’ll let me know how it goes as soon as your meeting is done?”

  “Yeah,” she laughed. “If I fail, you can help me drink my blues away.”

  “What about if you succeed?” he asked without mentioning that he didn’t drink alcohol.

  “If they like it, then the project begins, and since you agreed to be on my development team, you officially become my slave.”

  “So I guess I’ll hear from you either way.”

  Zack Mackenzie has recently returned from northern Africa where he was serving as a missionary. Both his father and grandfather were prominent missionaries, and his great-grandfather had a number of schools named after him across northeast Asia as a tribute to the extensive church planting work he did there. Mr. Mackenzie is currently a Masters of Divinity student at Trinity Theological Seminary and is a frequent guest speaker at churches discussing missions and outreach programs. He returned from his overseas assignment convinced that the locals were fully capable of doing the job better themselves and wants to encourage North American Christians to see their homeland as their mission field.

  “The Follow-up Question”

  “Are not all these men who are speaking Galileans? Then how is it that each of us hears them in his own native language?” – Acts 2: 7, 8

  Language is fundamentally important in any mission work. Whether it was my great-grandfather setting out to build a hospital in a remote village a hundred years ago or me starting study groups at a communist Asian university, learning the local language is the first thing on the to-do list.

  While I always had a proper classroom setting to help me learn these languages, my father, grandfather and great-grandfather rarely had textbooks or official schools where the language was taught. Sometimes they even had to find a way of transcribing the language into an alphabet, which often turned out to be important for the development and preservation of the culture as well. But whether it was them contributing to the history of the language or me just learning it, the local people were always impressed that we were even putting in the effort.

  Nowadays it’s often the locals who are the ones trying to learn the language of the missionaries because English will help them for business or educational reasons. While that often helped me get a foot in the door, it was also often a crutch I would lean on, slowing my acquisition of the language.

  Learning a language is a humbling process. One has to memorize the vocabulary, adjust his mouth for the correct pronunciation and adjust his thought process to fit the grammatical structure, and even then it may not be possible to understand the locals speaking at their natural pace.

  As valuable as classroom learning was for me, there was no better way to learn than to force myself into situations where I would need to use the language. Even though I knew this, I was still frightened to try. When there was a sentence I wanted to say, no matter how much I had rehearsed, it amounted to nothing if I couldn’t understand, and then answer, the question that came next. I could of course study and come up with a list of things the person might say back to me and I could prepare what to say in response to each of those things. Then I would be ready, except I would only be extending my reliance on the textbook. A pre-scripted conversation isn’t a conversation.

  It is easy, as a missionary, to start an assignment with stereotypes or generalizations about the group of people you have been called to minister to. In the beginning stages, when you still don’t have a full grasp of their language, you can only observe body language and social interaction. This will teach you a lot and it may even serve to confirm or deny your preconceptions, but it still leaves you on the outside. Knowing the language allows you to get right in close to native speakers, and the more you understand what you hear, the better able you are to assess their needs. When you begin to meet those needs, as a friend, as a fellow community member, and as a citizen in the Kingdom of Heaven, then they will be more receptive to your message of good news.

  Of course, you cannot and sometimes should not embrace the language fully. Often there were greetings or blessings that were essentially tributes to other gods, so I didn’t incorporate those. I would also refuse to adopt expressions or idioms that were demeaning to women, insulted neighbouring tribes or were inherently violent. It was important for my own conscience but also for the image I was trying to present for me to keep my tongue clean.

  In our world there are entire subcultures built around professional sports, TV programs, exercise routines, etc. They all have their own sacred rituals they practice and idols they worship. These people are also in need of missionaries; people who understand them and can speak their language. Luckily, the church is already full of people who do. There are all sorts of languages that we’ve learned without even knowing it, and just as we often need to be careful to speak those languages in a wholesome way, we also need to commit ourselves to using that language for wholesome purposes.

  Oscar Brandt is a second year divinity student at Trinity Theological Seminary. He is currently working closely with local prominent pastor Mark Taylor. Oscar is passionate about making the Bible accessible to the common person. He believes that there are many incorrect assumptions that people, especially Christians, make about faith and he hopes to add a new refreshing voice to the conversation. He has a strong dislike for pastors who abuse authority and people whose faith doesn’t make them better people.

  “Graceless Power”

  “Amazing Grace” is a popular song. A favourite among church-goers, it is one of the only Christian hymns that is well-known to people outside the church. Popular musicians record covers of it and marching bands play the tune with bagpipes in community parades. But despite its widespread religious and non-religious popularity, within the story of its composition is an “anti-institutional” message and a profound demonstration of God’s grace.

  The actual lyrics make little mention of Jesus directly, which makes the song easier to swallow in secular circles. Christians, however, hear in these words a story of forgiveness that rings true with their view of God. The verses contain an incredible amount of guilt and shame, presumably belonging to the songwriter. This isn’t just shame from a few unfortunate choices or worry about some kind of damaged reputation; this is guilt from having lived a life blinded by a fundamentally flawed view of the world.

  Many people have also heard the story of Amazing Grace’s origins. John Newton was a tough man, hardened by difficult life circumstances. His naval career progressed to the point where he was charged to oversee the delivery of newly captured slaves from
Africa. The guilt he gradually felt from observing and leading the dehumanizing treatment of slaves led him to write this hymn.

  John Newton was also a mentor of William Wilberforce, the British politician who lobbied hard in favour of abolishing slavery in that country. He eventually succeeded, but not before Amazing Grace was composed. So why is this important? When these lyrics were written, the grievous sin being confessed to was still a fully legal enterprise. It seems the songwriter can hardly imagine his sins will ever be forgiven, but in the eyes of his church and his state, he is not condemned. In those days the Church of England would never dare oppose the Kingdom of England, even if it wanted to, so slavery was not only state-sanctioned but also church approved.

  So John Newton felt guilty, not just for owning slaves, not just for selling slaves, but also for the capturing and trafficking of his fellow human beings. When he felt this guilt, he had nowhere to turn. If he turned to his government law officials and confessed of the blood that was shed under his watch, they would have told him he had committed no crime. If he went to his church officials and confessed of the compassion that was withheld from fellow members of God’s creation, they would have told him that those things did not make him a sinner.

  As much as any of us can truly know anything, John Newton knew that the church and the state were wrong. Looking back now, we too can say with confidence that the church and the state were both wrong on this matter. John Newton was in need of counsel; he was in need of hope. He found no comfort in reassurances offered by the established institutions of church and state, telling him that he was not guilty of any offense. In fact, that stance interfered with the forgiveness he so desperately wanted. John Newton needed to refuse the grace of the church in order to receive the grace of Jesus.

  Churches and religious institutions, especially the big ones, often have trouble accepting change, partly because it requires recognizing that the things they were doing before weren’t good enough. You would think that this concept would be easier to grasp for a group of people who, in order to become Christians, have accepted Jesus’ call to “Repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is near.”

  No religious organization would exist unless they believed that their deity or set of moral guiding principles endorsed their existence, but it is easy to confuse that sense of general endorsement with an assumption that everything the organization has ever done and the way they’ve done it has a divine stamp on it. That mindset not only interferes with progress and change, but it also gets in the way of living out the relationship that they have been called into.

  Fortunately, there were some churches that opposed slavery and at the same time preached a message of grace and forgiveness. Unfortunately, contemporary churches and individual Christians often fall into the same pattern. They are afraid to make moral decisions until mainstream society and governmental policy makes it easy to do. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.