Reliving Fate

  Fine. You win, arsehole. I need to know that you didn't text any sluts.

  Last night, I might have planted a little doubt over texting someone else after she accused me of being obsessed with her. I knew she would give in and ask eventually.

  I've known her for only a matter of weeks, but she should know that I wouldn't do something like that. Nothing has mattered more than her before, and I'm not risking what we have--whatever that is--over cheap sex with some skirt.

  What do you think?

  I think you really are too obsessed with me to mess around.

  "What's she saying?" Ellis asks.

  Laughing, I put my phone down on the table to make her sweat a bit before I reply. "She's saying exactly what I thought she would."

  If you peel away the layers of confidence, cockiness, and toughness, there's insecurity at her core. There's shit going on with her family that I don't expect her to share with me anytime soon, but when she does, I think I'll understand why she is the way she is. Not that I'll admit it to her, but I desperately want to know everything. I want to get an A in Isabella.

  I've never gotten an A before. When I dragged myself out to attend school, the most I got were Ds.

  "That her again?" Ellis asks, tilting his head toward my beeping phone.

  "No doubt." I pick it up.

  You're being a bitch, Rocco!

  I'm busy, Isabella.

  Yeah, right! Tell Ellis I say hi...AND TELL ME NOTHING HAPPENED!

  Nothing happened. You know that.

  Good. I'm at yours. Where are you guys? I'll come and meet you.

  No fucking way.

  I stand up and down my drink. "I'm leavin'," I say to Ellis. There's no way I'm having Bella here tonight, We've already had a drug deal out back and a boring bar fight.

  Stay in your car. I'll meet you there.

  Shocker! See you soon.

  She might think I'm overprotective. I don't give a shit. The girl isn't coming here.

  "Have a good night," Ellis says, chuckling under his breath.

  I plan to.

  Once out of the pub, I jog toward my flat where Bella is waiting. Her ridiculous car is parked behind my jeep. She gets out as she sees me approach.

  Fuck. Me.

  Her hair is tied up. It's messy, like she put it up and then ran a marathon.

  Motherfucking shit.

  Her bare neck is on show and begging for my teeth to sink into her skin. My dick immediately responds. She'd better give it up soon. I'm going crazy with just my hand and her picture.

  "Hi," I whisper around the lump in my throat as I stop an inch in front of her.

  I'm far too close, completely invading her personal space, but I don't care, and she doesn't seem to either.

  She bites her lip, and she's lucky that I have such amazing self-control.

  "Hi, Rocco."

  Come on, go down. This could get embarrassing. Why am I always hard around her?

  She's the first person to get me up just by looking at me.

  Shit. I'm not fifteen anymore, so what's going on?

  "Where were you? I hope I wasn't interrupting."

  I shake my head and say, "I wasn't doing anything," instead of what I'm really thinking. I would drop anything to see you.

  Go and find the Jack Daniel's, Rocco. You need a drink.

  "You were out though? At the river?"

  "Yeah. The pub after that."

  "Will you take me?"

  "No." Absolutely not. Fuck no. Not happening.

  She frowns and folds her arms, our moment now long gone. "Why not? I won't embarrass you."

  "That's not what I'm worried about."

  "Then, what are you worried about?"

  Damn it.

  "Nothing's worrying me. I was just there, and it's boring. I'd much rather have you entertain me inside."

  "There's plenty of time for that."

  Really?

  "But I'd like to go out. You never take me out."

  "Yes, I do."

  "Not that much. Please. I'd like to hang out with your friends."

  "Ellis has probably left to shag Izzy, and I don't really like the rest of them." Stop pushing it.

  "Rocco," she whines like a bloody toddler.

  Oh my God. Don't tell her to do one. You want her here.

  "I'll take you there next time you're over."

  "Why next time?"

  "Why not?" I spit through gritted teeth.

  She sighs sharply. "You're being ridiculous. I'm going to the river. Are you coming or not?"

  My eyes twitch. "Doesn't look like I have a choice, does it?"

  "Perfect." She smiles triumphantly and takes my arm. "So, what have you done today? No bruises, so you didn't have a fight."

  Her voice is always slightly quieter when she talks about me fighting. I like that she hates it. I'm not used to having someone care about me, and it feels really nice.

  "No, no fight. I helped Ellis at the garage for a bit. What about you?"

  "I had to put up with my sister's ever-cheerful attitude all day. Then, my parents drove me insane at dinner with their uni talk. I swear, they're on repeat with that."

  "They want you to go. You should go. It's all about partying anyway, right? You wouldn't have to get serious about a job for another two or three years. It's a win-win in my book."

  "Yeah, there is that, but I think I would rather just work. The whole learning thing is so overrated."

  "Preaching to the converted, Bella. What would you do if you got a job though?"

  Her lips purse, and her eyebrows draw together as she thinks about my question. I'm not one for having plans, but Isabella is on a different level. I know I can take care of myself; she just assumes she can.

  "I haven't gotten that far yet."

  "Pole dancer?" I offer. "I know a few strip clubs."

  "Why doesn't that surprise me? No, thanks. I don't really like people, so dancing for them would suck. Plus, there's the whole doing-it-almost-naked thing. It would just be a total drag."

  "Wow, Bella. What's wrong with people?"

  "Most of them are fucking idiots. You hate them, too."

  "You're not wrong there."

  We turn the corner, and the fire at the river comes into view. She's still holding my arm. I don't know if it's best for people to see her with me, so they know to back off or not. People don't generally screw with me because I don't hold back when I fight, but I've probably pissed some people off, and they might see her as a way to settle the score.

  I hesitate. This feels wrong. Ellis was right when he said I cared about Bella, and this isn't exactly the place you bring someone you care about. The other side of the fire barely hides three guys dealing drugs. You don't even have to deal inconspicuously out in the open here.

  "Let's just say hello and then go to the cafe. You must be hungry."

  She's always hungry.

  Bella shakes her head and gives my hand a tug. "I'm cool for now. Who're you going to introduce me to first? Do you spend time with anyone else outside of the beach?"

  "Just take a quick look around, so we can leave," I snip. "You know I don't like people, so, no, I don't spend time with anyone but Ellis."

  Christ, this is going to be painful.

  FIFTEEN

  * * *

  BELLA

  Rocco is tense as we approach the large--and probably illegal--fire on the dirt, halfway between the road and water. I'm pretty sure you can't just go around, lighting fires wherever you want, but there are things around here that get overlooked all the time.

  "Who are they?" I ask, angling my forehead to a group of three girls.

  They're probably a similar age to me; one looks like she could be a few years younger though.

  He grunts, "No fucking idea."

  All right.

  "Don't you know everyone around here?"

  "I don't take a register, Isabella. They're probably like you...but from a slightly less posh area than yours and
a slightly less shit area like mine."

  Well, he's about as cheerful as a rainy Monday.

  "I thought you said once that not many people come here."

  He glances at me out of the corner of his eye, and his face is hard, like he's absolutely had enough of my shit. "Not many like you."

  I probably don't want to know what he means by that, so, whoosh, thought gone.

  "Should we go and say hi then?"

  His lip curls in disgust. "I don't know them."

  "Yeah, I got that, but you don't usually know someone before you've met them!"

  "You wanted to be introduced to the people I knew. Let's just get that over with, okay?"

  Aren't I glad I came here tonight?

  Rocco is being unnecessarily difficult. I want to know who they are because I've seen a few teenage girls wandering around.

  Are they like a new generation of Celia?

  I need to know where they came from and why they're here. And I need to find the elusive Hugo.

  I want all that soon preferably. Every second I spend with Rocco, I can feel myself being sucked into something completely different, something that looks a lot like a life, and I can't allow myself to be distracted by what I want for me right now.

  This shit just needs to be over because I'm beyond exhausted of constantly stressing and living with an enormous amount of guilt.

  "Come here," he grunts, tugging me toward a group of four people.

  They're all female, and that's probably intentional.

  "Sara, Jodie, Lindsey, Lorri, this is Bella." He turns to me before they have a chance to open their mouths. "They all work at the diner."

  Wow. He's picked the only people here who are probably above board and not druggies, prostitutes, or general lawbreakers. I don't want to meet those types of people.

  "Hi," I say, giving them a polite smile. "It's nice to meet you."

  They mutter a collective, "Hi," move in a bit closer together, and look back at Rocco like they have no idea why he's introducing me.

  I hear ya, ladies.

  I'm not in their diner club, so I'm not welcome in their fold, and they're making it obvious. I won't be losing any sleep.

  He's either proper shit at social cues, or he just doesn't give a damn because he doesn't move us on. It's getting awkward. I bite the inside of my lip as the diner crew stares at Rocco.

  Someone needs to say something.

  Why is he just standing here?

  I nudge his arm, and I'm probably not that subtle, but I don't care. We need to go and talk to someone else.

  "What?" he says, looking down at me.

  Really?

  "Great meeting you," I say to the girls.

  I walk off toward the fire, and Rocco is right on my heels, like I thought he would be.

  "Where are you going?"

  I spin around and narrow my eyes so hard that I almost can't see. "What was that? Introduce me to people who aren't so...cliquey."

  "Click what? You're not even making sense right now. I'm doing what you asked."

  "Oh, yeah, course you are," I mutter, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

  "Isabella," he hushes. "You are fucking ridiculous."

  "Don't be a knobhead. Let's go talk to"--I bite my lip as I look around--"him."

  He raises his eyebrow, not even looking at who I'm pointing at. "That sounded an awful lot like you wanting me to set you up."

  "Is he as aggravating as you?"

  "Go home," he growls. Then, he looks over his shoulder.

  My God, Rocco is the most frustrating man on the planet.

  One minute, he's happy to have me here, and the next, he's acting like I just murdered his puppy. Today is definitely the puppy thing.

  "No, I don't like him."

  One thing I could totally get on board with right now: Alcoholism.

  I take a breath as he makes my blood boil...and not in the good way.

  Prick. Prick. Prick.

  Folding my arms, I glance around again. "Fine."

  To the side of the bonfire, closer to the water, is an older woman who seems to be a bit of a mother hen. She makes eye contact and smiles. Rocco is too young to have known Celia, but this woman isn't.

  The only problem I have is that everyone here, who isn't Rocco, looks more likely to stab me in the face with a broken bottle than start a conversation.

  I'm an outsider, and they don't like outsiders. I was kind of hoping to be accepted by them because I keep showing up with Rocco, but he's too preoccupied with keeping me away from them to make them think I can fit in.

  "Look, just stay here, okay?" Rocco orders before walking off to the large coolers.

  What's up his arse tonight?

  Stretching my arms around my back, I look around and try to pretend like I'm not a total loner right now. I'm surprised he left me even though he's only gone a few metres, but the cooler is near a big group of men.

  "Hello," the lady who smiled at me says.

  I jump when I see she's made her way over. She's probably in her forties with a short, curly bob and heavy fringe. Her hair is bleached far too light, and her eyes are too heavily framed with eyeliner.

  Although she looks stuck in the eighties and a little scary, I smile. At least she's making the effort to talk to me.

  "Hi."

  "I've seen you around a couple of times, but he's been keeping you to himself, huh?"

  I roll my eyes. "You could say that."

  "How long have you been with Rocco?"

  "Erm, well, we're not officially together. I've not known him long...and he's pretty moody." Though it feels like we've been close for years.

  Laughing, she nods, the permed bob nodding along with her. "That's Rocco! I'm Faith," she offers.

  "Bella. It's nice to meet you."

  "You, too, sweetheart. Have you moved to the area?"

  "No, but I have family close by. How about you? Have you lived here long?"

  She looks to the sky and theatrically shakes her head.

  Weird.

  "Oh, you could say that. I was born 'ere."

  Good. Do you know Celia?

  "I've heard that about a lot of people," I say.

  "Yeah, it isn't easy to get out."

  "Here," Rocco snaps. He steps so slightly in front of me that it could be accidental, but it's not. He's putting himself between me and Faith.

  I flinch at the acidity in his voice. All I've done is said about five words to someone else, so I don't know why he's so pissed and being rude.

  Miserable wanker.

  I take the beer he thrust at me and scowl at the venom in his glare. "Thank you," I say tightly.

  I want more time with Faith, but Rocco's presence has her taking a step back.

  Why?

  "Uh, I'll let you get back to it. Lovely to meet you, Bella."

  Giving her a smile, I lift my hand in a short wave. "You, too."

  She walks away, taking another look at me over her shoulder.

  As soon as she's gone, I lob the beer on the ground. "What. The fuck. Was that?"

  Rocco's knuckles turn white around the neck of the bottle he's holding. "What're you doing?"

  "Nothing! My God, Faith was just saying hello, and you made her feel so unwelcome."

  "Why're you making friends?"

  "Why wouldn't I? Seriously, what's going on with you today? Has something happened?" I ask.

  There has to be something; no one gets this upset over nothing. He has no bruises, so he's not lost a fight or anything like that.

  "Nothing is wrong with me. Come on, I'm taking you home."

  Usually, he'd say to his, so I know he means to my grandparents'.

  "I don't want to go."

  "Ugh!" He throws his hand up. "Why do you have to be so impossible all the fucking time?"

  "Not convinced I'm the one being impossible here."

  "We're going, Bella."

  Yeah, we are. I don't want to be out here with him right now. All he's do
ing is making me want to come alone without him knowing.

  I spin on my heel and stomp back toward the road. Stupid arsehole!

  Rocco follows but leaves a few paces between us. Smart of him because, right now, I want to punch him between his legs.

  Before the river disappears out of sight, I look back. Faith is talking with the young girls Rocco didn't know, and they're laughing. I should've stayed with them rather than leaving with the grump.

  If Faith is the mother-hen type--and the way she is with those girls makes me think she is--she might have known Celia.

  SIXTEEN

  * * *

  ROCCO

  Since my behaviour at the river last night was "so appalling"--Bella's words--I've promised to take her out again. She wants to walk. I really need to buy her a fucking treadmill. That way, I could sit on the sofa while she did all this active shit.

  She is taking everything in like she's going to be quizzed on it after. Something is going on with her, and although I usually mind my own business, I want to know hers. The way she acted yesterday was suspicious. The people she wanted introducing to were older. I thought I was onto a winner with the girls from the diner.

  My girl isn't looking for friends here.

  Ellis is bored out of his mind. This isn't how either of us wants to spend our weekend. We've both seen these parts a million times over, and there's really nothing special about any of it. So far, we've seen the pub, two closed pubs, a sports field, park, two schools, and a few shops. In all of that, I think the only place that's still playing on the right side of the law is the primary school.

  "Are we done?" Ellis asks, pressing his palms together and looking directly into Bella's eyes, pleading.

  "Bella?" I ask on his behalf.

  Her eyes dart to mine. "Is there anything else?"

  Now, she looks like the one pleading.

  What are you looking for specifically? I would kill to know that.

  "There's a scrapyard up ahead. That's it. You've not seen the river properly in daylight yet."

  Either of those what you want?

  My heart thuds as I wait for her reply. I'm desperate to know what she's really doing.

  "Scrapyard first," she replies.

  I don't know why I feel compelled to do what she asks. I could've sent her on her way earlier. I'm not a tour guide or anyone's lapdog. Anyone else, and I would've told them to do one long before now.

  "Nah," Ellis says, throwing his arms up. "I'm out. See you dickheads later."

  Bella watches in amusement as he walks off, shaking his head. They seem to get along well, despite all their differences and Ellis's general dislike of any woman who isn't either his mother or someone willing to get naked with him.