The Valkyries of Andromeda

CHAPTER FIVE

  Wanliet rose from the table, smiled, and stretched his arms out in a big greeting. His plate was clean – the selfish bastard had eaten before me! A quick glance at the table showed that there was enough left for me. As for Zeno and the others, well, they were on their own. I grabbed a plate and loaded it up. “Inspector General, what happened to you last night? After your little, um, speech, you disappeared?” I figured that would start things going, and I could eat without interruption while he told his tale with all its details.

  “I didn’t disappear, I melted! I felt it deep, within my soul, the whole entirety, inside of me extending out, west north east south, there to here and near to far.” Whether they’d eaten or not, the newcomers were having trouble digesting this. After a brief silence that Wanliet and Rekaburb beamed over, Zeno said, “Your Excellency, we were concerned for your welfare. I implore you to have more regard for your security.” Sure, Zeno, for a control freak like you leaving a chance that this operation’s best-laid plans might ging aglee probably gave you the heebie-jeebies.

  “His Excellency spent the night immersed in the love of the Gurjoo and his disciples” chimed in Rekaburb. He was always chiming in – I hated that about him. I was still hungry, although my plate was half-cleared. I also hated being such a slave to my body, but I was young and vigorous, with large and healthy appetites, and was it my fault I was so busy trying to be an aide, a spy and a captain that I never got a chance to be still and meditate and re-assert the rule of my higher sensibilities? No, I didn’t think so, either. The mayor continued, “He was well-cared for, and as you can see, well-fed, and is full of bliss, purged of the mind-toxins that sickened him, and alive in the embrace of the all-embracing all-powerful force of love!”

  I glanced at Wanliet, still bubbling and beaming, then swiveled my eyes to Zeno. I couldn’t read him, not right away. As it turned out that was because he was undergoing a meltdown. He leapt up and pulled a blaster from his tunic and all became clear. “I’m sorry for breaking up this love-in, your Excellency, but we’ll all have to be going. You too, Daskal. Come on, let’s go.” Well, my plate was empty, and while I could have gone for seconds, I’d be okay in a few minutes, once my belly got to talk to my head, so I was agreeable enough. I grabbed my coffee and downed it, then bugged my eyes because I’d forgotten it was still hot. Oh, the tortures of skullduggery!

  Wanliet was crestfallen, looked like he was about to cry. With his mind fighting his body, which wanted very much to stay put, he got up and shuffled to the door where he joined me, with Zeno trailing, walking backwards, keeping an eye on the natives.

  The three of us re-traced our steps to our rooms. It was odd, the town and its vibrant motley colors had a poignancy now that it seemed we’d be leaving them too soon. Zeno figured he had the only blaster in town so he felt pretty safe; also, he had the Inspector General as hostage, and my peculiar friend was the most valuable prize on the planet, for different reasons to different groups. The smart money said nobody looked to be hindering Zeno’s plans, at least not soon.

  As we were re-packing I asked Zeno what he was up to. “We can’t have our Inspector General getting caught up with that bunch of rowdy bumpkins or god-smacked goofballs! Mr. Wanliet has a job, a role to play, and it’s our script! Get your gear together, we’re heading back to Solip City! I also have to get this zoocaine, or oocaine, analyzed. ” In moments we’d finished packing – I’d only had the one night to make a mess, and Wanliet not even that – so it took little longer to put everything back in our bags than it took for you to read about it.

  Then back down to the lobby, where our Breakfast Committee was arranged, now re-purposed as our Farewell Committee. In silent dignity they observed our progress, across the lobby, then out back to our executive speeder. An-Tuin entered the code at the door and it sighed open. “In you go, you two. And as for you,” he turned to the group, which had followed us, “sorry we couldn’t enjoy more of your hospitality. Perhaps some other time – or, you might come to visit us. But don’t just drop in – that would be rude.” Wanliet and I lingered outside the door, watching and hoping.

  “We may not be as schooled in etiquette as you Solip City fops, but I think kidnapping our guest is rude.” I was liking that mayor more and more.

  “The Inspector General was our guest, first,” said Zeno. I wanted to argue it was His Honor Rekaburb who’d first played host to us, but I opted to hold my tongue.

  “But he’s ours now, and we mean to keep him here.”

  “Sorry, can’t oblige,” replied An -Tuin, but at that moment a squad of militia came out of Zeno’s speeder, separating us from An-Tuin, and more importantly, vice-versa. Their weapons were old-fashioned, but would be quite effective in this situation, and Zeno knew it. He lowered his blaster, then slowly set it on the ground.

  “How did you all get in there? Did you figure out the code?”I wondered aloud.

  “One of our skills is re-creating and repairing old Empire technology. Your code was a snap,” said the head of the Chamber.

  “I knew you Chugtallians weren’t to be trusted,” muttered Chief of Security Zeno An-Tuin. I felt sad for him that he didn’t even say it with a smile, because I thought it was damn funny!