The Bargaining Path
***
“Adam… Adam…”
Janna was crawling up the stairs with just the use of her arms; her body was merely being dragged along, her bones bumping against each wooden step audibly every time she managed to actually pull herself up. Every area of exposed skin on her body was red with both her blood and the blood of those she had killed. Even her face was completely covered in it.
“I would utilize the cliché about the mighty having fallen, but then, I do not really think this one was that mighty.” I murmured tauntingly as I gingerly walked over her and continued my climb up the steps.
“Brynna.” Savannah said, and when I looked back, she was wearing a look of gentle reprimanding and hopeful belief in my ability to do the right thing; it was a look with which I was becoming very familiar but found no less irritating every time I saw it.
I sighed heavily in response to it and frowned down at the pathetic display Janna was exhibiting.
“Fine.”
Together, we easily lifted and carried her up the steps.
“Will you take me to Adam?” Janna asked me, and I cringed when I saw bits of flesh stuck between her bloodstained teeth.
“I do not normally tell people when they are in need of more stringent dental-hygienic practices, but…”
“Brynna, please. That’s enough.” Savannah breathed heavily as she kicked open the door to the infirmary.
“I am just saying, my stomach cannot handle such a disgusting sight…”
“My Adam… He is alright. He is, isn’t he? Please tell me that he is here and waiting for me. Asking for me…”
“He mentioned your name in passing, but that is probably what you are used to at this point.”
“You’re picking on the weak right now. That’s not very nice, Brynna Olivier.” Savannah informed me a little more crossly.
“I am sorry, do you shrink her mind, too, as they say? Is that why are you so opposed to me ‘picking’ on her?” I asked, and I nearly dropped Janna to mime air-quotes.
“No. It is just uncalled for right now. Your issues with her need to be put aside for the moment because we have bigger problems. We just need to be a collective mass of people working together…”
“I don’t think she will be offering us much help. And for the record, I do not just pick on her when she is weak and downtrodden. I picked on her before all hell broke loose and won, and she was neither weak nor downtrodden at the time.”
“Of course you did, darling.”
“Please do not patronize me right now, or I will be forced to start calling you ‘James!’”
“You’re asking for it.”
“Should I act weak and downtrodden so you will pity me, too? Oh, of course not, because I would never even deign to be weak!”
I kicked open the door to Adam’s room with more force than I intended to use.
“Brynna Olivier, so help me God, if you do not unchain me right this second…!”
“Oh, well, hello to you, too.” I murmured, “Here is your spouse. She asked to be placed by your side.”
“I do not want her here.”
Savannah and I had just dropped her onto the bed beside his, and he did not even look in her direction. When Adam had said that, Savannah had snorted through her nose.
“Now who is picking on the weak and downtrodden?” I asked. Just to be safe, we strapped Janna to the bed.
“It is over. You closed the circle. If you are expecting my thanks, then I must warn you that you will wait for the rest of the days of your life, which I can promise you, are not many, Brynna.” Adam snarled at me. “Now unchain me, and by the one God, take that woman from this room!”
“Well, if I unchain you, can’t you just leave the room?” I asked, “No, I think you two need each other right now. This was a very stressful experience for everyone, and the ties of your marital union should be strengthened by the fact that you have both survived. No, I could never break up such a romantic, dramatic moment for you two. I will be back in the morning.”
“Brynna! Goddamn it, Brynna Olivier, you will not…”
“Goodbye.” I dragged the word out in a long whisper, and out in the hallway, Savannah and I both giggled hysterically. When we separated at the end of the hallway, we were still laughing, because he was still shouting.
I banged on the door to the room in which Penny and Violet were hiding. My heart raced; I was terrified to hear the sounds of hunting and killing I had heard in the village square.
“Violet? Penny? Do not open the door yet, but are you two alright?”
It was mere seconds until Penny spoke, but to me, it felt like ages. My heart pounded against my chest, my vision went cloudy, my breaths hitched in my throat. In those few seconds, I feared that the worst had happened, that I would open the door and find them both ripped apart by each other’s hands. What else could have been worse? I prayed to nothing for one of them to speak, but I prayed hard to that nothing. I prayed with everything in me.
“Brynn! Did you close the circle?!” Penny asked.
A smile broke on my face, and I was laughing in relief. Tears swam into my eyes, and I let just two fall as I rested my forehead against the door.
“Yes.” I said, still beaming brightly, “Of course I did, baby. Violet, how are you doing?”
“I’m good. Are you okay? What was it like out there?”
“Do not worry yourself over that. I am fine. Savannah is fine.”
“What about James?!”
“We realized that he was infected before we left, and he is in a room down the hall.”
“Can I come out and check on Nick? Please?”
“No. I do not want you to come out until the sun comes up. There is still venom hanging in the air, and only the sun can burn it away. The ash-circle is closed, but I closed what was left of the venom in here with us.”
“You know that for sure?”
“I am reasonably sure. It is a hypothesis, but it is a founded one. Just trust me on this. I love you both, and I will check on Nick and come back. Okay?”
“Okay. Just be careful, Brynn.”
“I will. Try to get some sleep. Especially you, Penelope.”
“What? Oh, man!” She groaned.
“You heard her, Penn.” Violet said.
I walked to James’s door and unlocked it, grinning to myself. His eyes were closed, but I could see his chest rising and falling slowly against the fabric of his shirt that was matted to him with sweat. Just as I started to slip away to let him rest, his head jerked up, and he exclaimed my name so loudly that I jumped.
“Holy shit, James Maxwell!” I screamed furiously as I walked over to him, clasping my chest with one hand. “What, were you dreaming about me?”
“I guess. I don’t know. Can’t remember.” He said hurriedly yet breathlessly, “Hey. Come here. Come down here.” He said weakly, and even though my heart was still racing from being startled, I smiled as I leaned down to let him kiss me. “You okay?” I nodded, and pressed my forehead to his as I kissed him again. “You sure?”
“I am fine. Are you alright?”
“I’m good. I think it’s over.”
“Well, I am not letting you get up until morning. It is still in the air, even if you cannot feel it.”
“That was pretty much the worse thing to ever happen to me. I might need to just lay here for the next week. I don’t know how you did it, getting up almost immediately after you were better.”
“I am very stubborn, even against my own body’s wishes. God, you are so pale, James.” I reached out and stroked his face, “Let me go get you some water.”
“No. I’m fine. Just stay here with me for a few minutes. Please?”
“You are probably dehydrated severely from sweating.”
“I’ll be fine for a few more minutes. Just please stay. Just let me…” He reached out as far as the chains would allow. What they would not allow, I made up for by moving closer. His hands pushed my hair away from my
face almost cautiously, and when he looked at me, his eyes would meet mine only briefly before moving away.
“Baby…” I said, “It’s okay.”
“It was all I saw.” He told me in a voice so low I could barely hear him. “Losing you. Every time it was sadness or fear, it was always because I was losing you. In some way. Or someone was hurting you, and I couldn’t stop them. You or Penny or Violet. I saw it hundreds of times. More than that, even.”
“I’m here, James. So far, nothing has been able to take me away from you. Not even you.” I stopped, remembering what he had said earlier. A chill spread through me as I remembered it. “James… When it first started, and you were experiencing the anger side of it, you said something about shooting someone. You were laughing, and you were saying that this person was weak and pathetic and deserved it.”
He was silent, his eyes set resolutely looking in a different direction. No matter what he had done, he never avoided my eyes like that. That chill grew, as though someone had turned my internal temperature down past zero. All throughout me, there was ice. He had done it. He had killed someone besides his wife. He had done it on purpose, and it was before we came to Pangaea, before he ever could have had a reason…
“It’s not what you think, okay?” He whispered, and when he looked up at me, there were tears in his eyes. “What did I say exactly?”
“Why would I tell you that?” I asked, “So you can make up a story based on my answer?”
I stood up and began to pace.
“Brynna,” He said, and his tone beseeched me for understanding, “I was young. It was before you were even born. Years before you were even born. My mother left, and my father… He started drinking. And he was…” He stopped, pausing a long time before starting again. “I have always understood why you hate your father, okay? Even if you had never told me, even if I had never seen it, I would have known. And you managed to get away from yours. I couldn’t. I was too young to get kicked out. I tried to run away, but they always brought me back. I did what I had to do, and I served my time for it, okay? I got out, and I got in trouble for a while, but then, I got better.”
“Is that when you went to school?”
“Yeah. I was tried as a minor, because everyone knew about it, and people testified on my behalf. I got money to go to school because I was a pathetic, parentless little charity case. I went to school, and I still got in trouble a little bit, but I graduated, and I got a good job, and things changed for me.”
“So, you shot your father? You killed him?”
“Yes. And obviously, that is not something I’m proud of. But you know… you know that there comes a point where you just have to stop it. I was ten. I couldn’t wait to turn sixteen or eighteen or whatever age I needed to be where they wouldn’t come looking for me. I just had to go. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this, and I’m sorry you had to find out this way, and God, Brynna, if you want to leave, I will not stop you. I would leave.”
“You would leave me if I had killed my abusive father?”
“No. But it’s different.”
“Why? Because I am a weak female?”
“No. Brynn, please don’t lead me into a conversational black hole when I feel like shit and I’m preparing for the moment when you walk out of here and leave me because that would be the smart thing to—”
I had thrown my leg over him and sat up so I was straddling his stomach. I leaned down and kissed him, and after a moment, he kissed me back, his hands coming up as far as they could to rest on my lower back.
“I am not going to leave because of this. You just said why I will not, but I will tell you anyway. It is because I should have done the same thing.”
He nodded, but for a long time, he said nothing.
“I’ve never told anyone that before.”
“See? We pour out our deepest, darkest secrets only to each other.” I smiled at him, “I never thought I could tell anyone the things that have happened to me, but I have told you all of them.”
Most of them. My mind remembered the banging on the door, the blood on my hands, her shaking voice repeating “Everything is going to be okay, everything is going to be okay, everything is going to be okay…”
“Hey…” He whispered, “Where are you at, baby?”
I looked back at him, quickly regaining my composure.
“I am right here. All this talk of fathers made me get a little lost, but I am here now.” I leaned down and kissed him. “I cannot believe I told you all these things, and I am so happy that you have told me everything now. You are more than likely the love of my life, James Maxwell.”
“And you are definitely mine.”
“Aww…” My smile broadened, and I looked up, trying to stop the completely random tears that had formed in my eyes. He forced himself to sit up, and he kissed my neck over and over again slowly. “You got me there.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“You know I am rarely certain of anything. But I am as close to certain about you as I am about anything else. Is that okay with you?”
“Of course it is.”
“Good.” I looked down at him and held my lips to his for a long second. “Now let me go get you some water and then, you, my love, are going to go to sleep, even if I have to gently asphyxiate you with a pillow until you pass out.”
“Oh, well, that is violent and slightly worrisome.” He said, “Say it again, a little slower this time.”
“Shut up, James!” I exclaimed, lightly tapping him in the face.
“Oh, well, that was definitely violent. Do it again, a little harder.”
“You are a certified creeper, as Violet says!” I told him, “I will hear nothing more of your untoward talk!”
“Madam, I am sorry… to have spoken untowardly to you, but I will…” He sighed heavily, “I’m too tired to come up with an adequate mimic of your intricate speech, my love.”
“Oh, well, my disappointment is staggering.”
“It is, isn’t it?”
“Of course, darling.”