Ella and Micha: Infinitely and Always

  “We both fell asleep. Guess we’re getting super old.” She shivers, wiggling out of my touch. When I frown, she forces a smile as she reaches for my mouth and fiddles with my lip ring, tracing her fingertip over the metal.

  “Or just super overworked.” My fingers find her waist, and my nails delve into her flesh. “We should just relax all day. And I know the perfect way to do that.” I eagerly move up to kiss her lips.

  She covers my mouth with her hand, stopping me for the second time in thirty seconds.

  What the hell?

  “As much as I’d love to get the relaxing day started,” she says as she withdraws her hand, “I have to go to the doctor first.”

  I pout. “Well, that’s no fun.”

  “Neither is having sex with a sick person.”

  “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

  She shakes her head as she scoots to the edge of the bed and lowers her feet to the floor. “I know, but my appointment is in like thirty minutes, and it takes fifteen just to get to the doctor’s office.” Her voice quivers toward the end.

  My brow crooks as I sit up. “Something’s wrong. I can tell.”

  “No, everything’s fine,” she insists as she bolts from the bed and toward the bathroom. “I just need to get my ass cleaned up and on the road. That’s all. Otherwise, I’ll miss my appointment.” With that, she shuts the door, leaving me utterly confused.

  My confusion only increases when she leaves the house so quickly she barely kisses me good-bye. But, the real kicker is when I wander out to the garage and see that her GTO is still parked beside my Chevelle.

  “So what the hell did she drive to the doctor’s office with?” Scratching my head, I push on the garage opener. Once the door is fully open, I hike down the driveway toward Ethan and Lila’s house.

  The neighborhood is completely different from where Ella and I grew up. Instead of drug dealers on the street corners and old cars decorating the yards, there are Christmas decorations everywhere and green grass. The entire neighborhood is decked out with holiday decorations: Christmas trees, tinsel, lights, snowman created from artificial snow. The only two on the block that don’t declare the holiday cheer are Ethan’s and mine. Usually, it’s not that big of a deal—I’m never home for too long around the holidays to let it bother me—but this year is different.

  I need to change some stuff.

  Start some traditions.

  I give a quick glimpse into their garage and note that Ethan’s truck is inside, but Lila’s car is missing. Maybe Lila drove her. The question is, why?

  Deciding I need to get to the bottom of what’s going on, I go straight to the source. I bang on the front door of Ethan and Lila’s house as hard as I can. Ethan has turned into the heaviest sleeper over the last couple of years, and knowing this, I continue to ring the doorbell over and over again until he finally throws open the front door.

  He has bags under his eyes, his brown hair is disheveled, and he looks cranky as shit. “What the fuck, man?” Ethan says as he tugs a T-shirt over his head.

  “What? No welcome home hug?” I joke. While he blinks, unimpressed, I squeeze by him and let myself into his home.

  “Come in,” he mutters grumpily as he closes the door behind me.

  I grin at him, noting the air smells like cookies. “Did Lila bake this morning?”

  “Chocolate chip, I think,” he says as he heads across the living room. “You are way too cheery for me this morning.”

  “Don’t pretend you didn’t miss my cheeriness.”

  He rolls his eyes yet doesn’t deny it.

  I follow him inside the kitchen and snatch three cookies off a plate that’s on the table. As much as I love Ella, Lila has turned into a fantastic cook, and just the smell of the cookies causes my mouth to salivate.

  “Do you know how lucky you are to get to eat this stuff every day?” I say as I stuff my mouth full of chocolate gooiness. “I usually get fast food for breakfast.”

  “Of course I know how lucky I am,” he snaps, snatching up a cookie himself. “I think about it all the damn time.”

  I raise my hands up. “Whoa. Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to push a button.”

  He blows out a breath as he slumps down on a stool by the counter. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go all mad crazy on you.” He lowers his head into his hands. “I’m just stressed out about shit.”

  I take another bite of the cookie. “Is this about the marriage thing?”

  His head whips up, his face draining of color. “How did you know about that?”

  “Ella told me.”

  “But how did she know about it?”

  I break off a corner of one of the cookies and pop it into my mouth. “Um, because you guys are always fighting about it.”

  “Wait? What marriage thing are you talking about?”

  “Well, I was talking about how you two are always arguing over marriage.” I lick off a glob of melted chocolate from my hand. “But now I’m starting to wonder if it’s something else.”

  If it’s possible, he looks even paler. “Can I show you something?” he asks intensely.

  I briefly hesitate. “Depends on what that something is. Because you have this weird look on your face that’s kind of creeping me out.”

  “Come on, man. I’m being serious.” He pushes back from the counter and stands up from the seat. “I need to show somebody something; otherwise, I’m going to fucking lose my goddamn mind.”

  “Oh, fine.” I scarf down the rest of the cookie. “I’ll let you pile your secret on me, just as long as you tell me why Lila took Ella to the doctor this morning.”

  He shrugs as we walk out of the kitchen. “Beats the shit out of me.” He pauses in front of the stairway. “Wait. I think Lila said something about going to town and doing something.”

  I grip at the railing. “Like what?”

  “That, I can’t help you with.” He starts up the stairs.

  “Well, that doesn’t help much,” I say as I trudge after him.

  “Sorry, but it’s all I got.” He turns right when we reach the top of the stairway and heads down the hallway toward his bedroom. “The two of them are literally driving me crazy, man. I mean, I love Lila, and Ella is okay sometimes, but”—he glances over his shoulder at me as he pushes open the bedroom door—“I spend all my time with the two of them, and I’m starting to go nuts with all their girlie crap.”

  “Don’t you have any other guys to hang out with?” I ask as he enters his bedroom.

  He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, because my sparkling personality gets me so many friends.”

  I laugh while I wander in after him, glancing around his room at the photos of Lila and him on the wall. The two of them have gotten to spend so much time together that it makes me feel jealous. No more, though. No more missing birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays.

  “Well, I might be around a little bit more.”

  His brows elevate as he opens the top dresser drawer. “Really? You get Mike to ease up on the touring or something?”

  I shake my head. “I can’t really say anything for sure yet. I have to talk to Ella about stuff first.”

  “Well, I hope it works out that you aren’t gone all the time,” he says as he reaches into the drawer. “For her sake and mine.”

  I open my mouth to retort a funny comeback about him being needy, but once I catch sight of what he has in his hand, my humor vanishes. “You really have lost your damn mind, haven’t you?”

  He looks absolutely horrified as he nods. “I think I’m in deep shit.”

  Chapter 5

  Ella

  Christmas tunes play from the car stereo, promising happy days of holiday joy ahead. I wonder if I’ll ever feel happy again after what was just revealed to me in one of the stale smelling rooms at the doctor’s office.

  “Oh, my God, I hope it’s a girl,” Lila says excitedly as we drive down the freeway toward our subdivision. “Then we get to dress her up in cute, little d
resses.”

  I scrunch my nose. “No dresses.” I picture a little, baby girl with blonde hair and green eyes, punked out in black pants, boots, and maybe a shirt with a skeleton. Then I shake my head. What the hell am I doing?

  “Stop talking about the sex. I’m still trying to process what just happened.”

  She bites down on her lip as she veers into the next lane and then down the exit ramp. “But you have to admit it, shopping for a girl would be so cool,” she sputters out, unable to contain her enthusiasm for more than five seconds. “We should totally stop by a store right now.”

  “No way.” I chew on my thumbnail, trying not to panic, but suppressing my anxiety is becoming more complicated by the second.

  The doctor confirmed the tests. I’m pregnant. My body is now home to a mini me. Oh, my God, I think I’m going to puke again.

  I clutch at my stomach. “I just want to get home.”

  “Oh, fine, you party pooper.” She sulks. “But I will shop for it sooner or later, even if it’s a boy.” She releases a deafening exhale then mutters, “It’ll probably be my only chance, anyway.”

  “Fuck.” I suddenly feel like such a jerk. “I’m so sorry, Lila. I didn’t even think about how you were trying and then”—I motion my hand in the direction of my stomach—“this happens.”

  “Ella, let’s get one thing straight,” she says, gripping the wheel. “I’m super happy for you, regardless of what’s going on with me.”

  “But you’re sad,” I note as I slip my sunglasses on to block out the sunlight reflecting through the window. “I can see it in your eyes that you are.”

  She sucks in a slow inhale as her gaze remains glued to the road. “I just worry that it’s not ever going to happen for me.”

  “Having a baby?”

  “That, and that I’ll end up a middle-aged, single woman living with my cat named Chester that I talk to out loud.”

  “Lila, Ethan’s not ever going to leave you.”

  She stares at her ring finger. “Maybe. But maybe not.”

  “Hey.” I reach over and cover her hand, preparing to tell her how wrong she is, but I’ve told her it enough that I don’t think she’ll ever believe it. So, I decide to go a different direction. “I’ll tell you what. If Ethan decides to leave you, you can move in with Micha and me so you won’t be all alone.”

  Her lips threaten to turn upward. “Really? Can I even have the guest bedroom near the attic? Because that’s my favorite room in the house.”

  I nod. “And your future cat Chester can come, too, if you want.”

  Laughter erupts from her lips. “Fine, you have a deal, but only if I get to help take care of little Ella.”

  I frown as I slump back in the seat. For a moment, I almost forgot about being pregnant. “Sounds like a deal to me. You’ll probably be a better mother, anyway.”

  She gives me a stern look that I shy away from. Without scolding me, though, she flips on the blinker to make a turn down our street. We zoom past the houses glammed up in Christmas décor, lights, Santa’s, and giant snow globes.

  Christmas is in a week, and Micha and my house remains holiday-less. It’s not because I’m a Grinch; I’ve just never been into Christmas. It suddenly feels like I should be, though.

  “When are you going to tell Micha?” Lila abruptly asks. “I mean, it’s great that I got to come to your appointment today, but he really should be a part of it. And, knowing him, he’s going to want to.”

  “I know he will.” Shutting my eyes, I rest my head against the window and bask in the sunlight. “I’ll tell him. I just have to talk to someone first.”

  “Who? Your dad or something? Because it seems a little strange to tell him before Micha.”

  I open my eyes and look over at her. “No, not him. That would be way weird.” Honestly, I haven’t figured out who that person is. Realistically, my go-to person for my panic attacks is Micha, but this time, it can’t be him.

  “Well, you have to tell me when you get ready to tell him. We’ll do something big and make it a surprise.” She pulls into the driveway of her house, pushes the button on the visor, and the garage door creeps open. “But promise me you’ll do it soon. It’ll wear you down, carrying this secret.”

  “You know me too well,” I say as I unbuckle my seat belt. Once she gets the car parked in the garage and the engine is off, I reach over and give her an awkward hug. I’ve never been much of a hugger, but I need her to understand how much she means to me. “Thank you for coming with me.”

  “You’re welcome.” She wraps her arms around me, embracing me back as she laughs under her breath. “I have to say, though, for you to hug me, those hormones have got to be intense.”

  Shaking my head, I lean back in the seat and laugh with her. It seems absolutely impossible with how terrified I am on the inside and makes me aware of just how lucky I am, even with life’s curveballs.

  Chapter 6

  Micha

  “What are you doing?” Ella startles me as she appears in the foyer without so much as making a sound.

  “What are you, part ninja or something?” I ask as I drop the box of twinkle lights that I was carrying. “I didn’t even hear you come in.”

  “I came in through the garage.” She peers inside the box then glances at me perplexedly. “Are we decorating this year?”

  My eyes pass over her. “We can if you want, but these aren’t for us.”

  “Then who are they for?” She appears normal on the outside. Well, except for the fact that she’s wearing a tank top and shorts, and it’s cold as balls outside. Her eyes, though… There’s something different about them. But, I can’t put my finger on exactly what.

  I cross my arms and stare her down. “Someone.”

  She frowns. “What’s with the ‘tude, dude?”

  I nonchalantly shrug. “Nothing. I just don’t feel like telling you my secret.”

  Her bottom lip juts out into a full-on pout. She looks so damn adorable I have to remind myself not to tell her anything until she fesses up to me about why she went to the doctor this morning with Lila.

  “But you always tell me your secrets,” she whines.

  My phone vibrates from my pocket and I fish it out.

  “Well, I guess I’m just not in a sharing mood right now.” I glance at the text message.

  Ethan: We’re good. Sent her to the store.

  Putting the phone away, I collect the box from the floor and dodge around Ella. “Now, if you want to tell me where you were this morning, then maybe I can spill the beans.”

  “I was at the doctor.” She sets her purse on the end table and faces me. “I told you that this morning.”

  I maneuver the box to my side. “But why did you go with Lila?”

  “How did you know I went with Lila?” she asks suspiciously.

  I shrug as I turn the knob and open the door. “I noticed the car was in the garage, so I went next door, and sure enough, Lila’s car was missing. Ethan told me he had no clue where you two went.”

  “That’s because he doesn’t,” she mutters, biting on her nails.

  Something’s definitely up. She’s nervous and twitchy and biting her nails. But, I know her well enough to realize that, until she wants to talk to me, she won’t.

  So I step outside. “When you’re ready to talk about whatever it is you’re keeping a secret from me, let me know. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some stuff to not tell you, too.” I throw a winning grin at her and then shut the door.

  An hour later, I start to leave Ethan’s backyard with an empty box in my hand. “Good luck,” I call over my shoulder as I reach the fence.

  “Thanks. I’m going to need it,” he answers, sounding more nervous than I’ve ever heard him.

  Even though I know I shouldn’t, I laugh at him. “You’ll be fine, just as long as you don’t let your dumbass side take over your mouth.” I lift the latch and push the gate open.

  He flips me the bird as he stares down at
the grass. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”

  “No. I’m just paying you back for all the shit you gave me over the years.” I kick the gate shut behind me then walk down the fence line and up the driveway toward my house.

  It’s the middle of the afternoon, the sun high in the clear blue sky. It makes me sort of homesick for Star Grove and the snow that always covers the yards during Christmas time. But, all thoughts of being homesick evaporate as I enter my bedroom.

  “So what do you think?” Ella asks with her hands on her hips.

  The box falls from my hands. “I think…” I’m struck speechless as she stands in the center of the bed wearing nothing except a lacey bra, matching panties, and knee-high socks. My cock goes rock hard. “I love it when you get like this.”

  I enthusiastically cross the room, tugging my shirt over my head. Once I make it to the foot of the bed, I reach for her, but she skitters to the side.

  I frown. “What are you doing?”

  “This,” she says with her fiery, cocky attitude, “is for that shit-eating smirk you threw at me when you walked out the door.”

  My cock gets so hard it actually hurts. “You always play so dirty.”

  “That’s because you’re easy to play.” She crosses her arms underneath her chest, her cleavage nearly bursting from the bra. “Now tell me what was up with the twinkle lights.”

  “Your tits look fucking amazing in that bra.” I dodge around her question, fixated by her chest. “I just want to grab them.” When I step toward her, she inches away, putting herself closer to the closet. “Ella,” I gripe, sucking my lip ring into my mouth. “It’s been two months.”

  She wickedly grins at me. “Oh, I know, which is going to make me getting my way a hell of a lot easier.”

  I’m getting antsy, needy, and downright horny. I need to come up with a plan here because I refuse to give up my secret until she divulges hers; otherwise, she might never tell me.