A Boy and His Bot

  Just then, Gary’s finger cannon accidentally went off, launching a loud ball of flame into the sky.

  “Oops,” squeaked Gary as the echo died down.

  At first, the auto-lifter didn’t seem to notice. But after a few seconds, it stopped, cocked its head, and turned to the left—in the opposite direction of where the blast hit. It was very odd behavior. Code noticed that all the robots made the same movements at the same time. They had all looked to the left, even though the explosion came from the right.

  Code suddenly had a crazy idea. He looked at the auto-lifter, which was staring off into the distance, and then sprinted past it. Gary tromped after him. After ten blocks or so, Code stopped and looked up at another auto-lifter, which had returned to lifting boxes.

  “Gary, fire your cannon into the air again!”

  Gary fired, wincing at the blast of noise and flame.

  Again, the auto-lifter at this intersection stopped and ponderously turned its head—in the opposite direction.

  “See? These are just dummies! They’re not really alive. There must be one robot somewhere else who is controlling the rest. Since they’re all looking to the left, the main robot must be over there! To the right!”

  Code set off running again. And for the first time Peep had to hurry to catch up with him, instead of the other way around.

  11

  XO

  The Great Disassembly:

  T–Minus Thirty-six Hours

  After several more blasts from Gary’s finger cannon and some wrong turns, Code and his friends came upon a little clearing between towering buildings. In the middle of it, a large humanoid robot moved silently through a precise series of lifting movements. Oddly, there were no boxes nearby. Code watched the elegant machine as it worked—all smooth lines and lethal grace. The robot was a dazzling shade of bright white with red accents around its legs, arms, and chest. The whole contraption was so large that it loomed over Gary, who was rather jealously sizing it up.

  All across the city, thousands of mindless auto-lifters picked up boxes and carried them, mimicking every move that this central robot made.

  “Excuse me,” Code called out.

  The robot dropped its imaginary box and spun around, an arm cannon leveled and primed for blasting. With something of a delay, Gary dove into an overly dramatic crouch and leveled one, two, then three finger cannons at the larger robot. The sleek machine didn’t flinch. Peep dove into Code’s pocket and peeked out over the top, glowing a scared violet.

  “Whoa!” shouted Code, putting up his hands. “We don’t want any trouble—I just want to ask a few questions.”

  The gleaming white machine straightened into a haughty stance, with its smooth, shielded faceplate pointed arrogantly in the air. As it spoke, its red accents glowed in time to the rhythm of a slick, oily voice. The letters “XO” were elegantly stenciled across its chest.

  “No matter,” the robot said. “I can clearly sense that I am in no danger. You, however, are in imminent jeopardy of having your brainpan demolished by that uncoordinated hunk of tin that you’re inexplicably traveling with.”

  It took Code a second to comprehend what the robot had just said. When it dawned on him that the big machine was talking about Gary, he blinked angrily.

  “Gary is my friend,” said Code. “He would never hurt me.”

  “Hah! What an insanely hilarious conjecture. Ever played with a bug?”

  Code nodded uncertainly.

  “Have you ever accidentally ripped off a leg or squished it or something equally horrible?”

  “Uh. Kind of,” said Code. “But I didn’t mean to,” he added quickly.

  “Exactly,” said the robot.

  Code looked up at Gary. His slaughterbot smiled sheepishly and looked at the ground, twiddling his mesh-armored thumbs. Obviously, one slipup on Gary’s part and Code could be squashed like a bug.

  The haughty robot mused out loud: “Gary, is it? You look less as though you were fabricated and more as though you were drawn by a cross-eyed child.”

  “Hey!” shouted Code and Gary at the same time.

  Gary stood on his tiptoes, bristling. Code put one hand on Gary’s leg to hold him back. It was more important now to figure out how to reach the Beamstalk. Bullies are a dime a dozen, Code told himself. It would be worth a little abuse to see if this robot had any information at all. Reaching the Beamstalk was a matter of life or death.

  “Why are there no robots here besides those brainless auto-lifters?”

  “Obviously, there is one extremely formidable robot here. Me. My name is XO and as of a few hours ago, this is my city. Most of the place has been shut down, as the robot citizens have all gone away to the Disassembly.”

  “Where did they go?”

  “Anyone with half a brain stem knows they’ve gone across the Fomorian Sea to Disassembly Point. Most set off aboard our fleet of royal water striders and are making fast progress over that great Neptunian mantle of rolling waves. If you weren’t such a small, squishy buffoon, you would have heard their ranging horns calling to each other as they left the bay. How ignorant!”

  Gary couldn’t take it anymore. He knew for a fact that Code was very smart. And Code couldn’t help it if he was small and squishy. With steam jetting from his boiler, Gary exclaimed, “That’s not nice! Also, you’re the buffoon! Not me! Er … not us. Us not buffoons!”

  XO waited a moment to let the comment sink in. “Eloquently put. I would have expected no less from a shoddily crafted cartoon version of a real robot. Also, please allow me to compliment you on your finger cannons. Crude and ineffective—what a stunning combination.”

  Gary angrily put up his fists, smoke rising from the tips of his fingers. Code stepped in before the fight could escalate.

  “Why are you still here?” asked Code. “Shouldn’t you have gone away with all the rest of the robots?”

  XO looked vainly at his fingertips. “I alone was entrusted by the citizens of Clockwork City to load the rest of our public outdoor seating arrangements, shade structures, drinking fountains, and such into boxes to be stored, nice and tidy, for all eternity. Quite an honor, actually. Of all the thousands and millions of robots who live here, only I was chosen by popular vote to stay behind, completely alone, to ensure that this crucial task was completed.”

  “Hah!” exclaimed Gary. “Sounds like a great decision on their part.”

  “I thought so, too,” said XO.

  Gary growled.

  Sticking to the point, Code said, “We need to reach the Celestial City. Can you help us?”

  XO laughed heartily. “Oh, no. Not even remotely.”

  “But if we don’t reach that castle, all the robots are going to be disassembled,” pleaded Code.

  “How sad for you. Delusions of grandeur. Showing off for your friend, are you?” said XO.

  “No, I’m trying to save his life. C’mon, Gary, this guy is useless. Let’s go try to catch a ship.”

  “They’re all gone,” called XO, laughing. “All the ships have gone. You’ll have to stay here with me. We’ll be like the three roboteers. A smart one, a big dumb one, and a small ugly one.”

  XO leaned forward and whispered, “I’m the smart one.”

  Gary lunged at XO, but Code jumped between them and pushed Gary away. But the offended slaughterbot couldn’t resist turning around to say one more thing: “We wouldn’t stay here if you were the last robot on Mekhos. Friends are earned, not held hostage. And you know something else? Clockwork City probably voted to leave you here alone because they couldn’t stand you. It wasn’t an honor at all. They just don’t like you. And neither do we!”

  As they started to walk away, Code and Gary heard a whimpering noise. XO had covered his face with his hands and his great shoulders were shaking. It looked exactly as if he were … crying.

  “Oh, boy,” muttered Gary.

  “That was sort of mean,” said Code.

  The odd hiccuping noises grew louder.
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  “Please don’t cry,” said Code.

  XO looked up angrily and Code realized something frightening. XO wasn’t crying—he was laughing.

  “Don’t you tell me what to do! I’m in charge here! Me! And now you will both be punished for your ill manners with death!”

  An incredible laser light show erupted as XO’s arm cannons began firing wildly. Each shot tore gouges from the nearby buildings, spraying Code and Gary with bits of rubble. Fearlessly, Peep launched herself at the berserk robot, trying to distract him with beams of red light, fluttering in circles around his head.

  A fiery blast roared past Code’s face, nearly flash-frying him. After checking to make sure his eyebrows were still attached, Code shouted up to Gary, “I thought I’d never say this, but … SLAUGHTER!”

  “Slaughter?”

  “Slaughterize him!”

  “Who?”

  “HIM! The one shooting lasers at us!”

  Peep chirruped urgently. She landed on one of Gary’s finger cannons and struggled to pry it open.

  Gary cowered as much as a twelve-foot-tall slaughterbot can cower.

  “Uh, Code. I’ve … I’ve got something to tell you. I’ve got no idea how to slaughter anything. I’m sorry. I’m just a fake. A lousy fraud!”

  Code tried to keep calm despite the lethal splinters of laser light. “It’s okay, Gary,” said Code. “Don’t worry about your instructions, just do something.”

  XO stopped firing his cannons for a moment and bellowed with laughter. Upon hearing this, Gary got a crazy look in his eye visor. “Right! Here I go!” he hollered.

  The towering slaughterbot held up his hands and each of his fingertips popped off and slid backward, allowing the cannon bores to protrude. “Should be simple. Take something that’s put together and take it apart. Can do!”

  And Gary began to fire his finger cannons madly in every direction.

  “Bonzai! Charge! Forward! For the king! For glory!” he shouted, running in random directions. The sudden attack startled XO, who threw up his hands. All across the city, thousands of auto-lifters also threw their hands up in surprise.

  With a fierce cry, Gary lowered his head and charged. He then ran directly past XO and smashed his head into a solid wall. A pile of rubble collapsed on top of him and Gary fell down, knocked offline. Completely unharmed, XO nevertheless stumbled backward, tripped, and bumped his sleek white head on the side of the building.

  Suddenly, the entire backside of the robot popped open with a hiss of air, and a trembling robot not much bigger than Code tumbled out and landed on the ground in an undignified heap. It rubbed its eye slits in the bright light of day. The inside of XO was now completely empty.

  Angry, Code marched over to the dazed bot. It looked confused, just an insignificant robot with thin foil skin balanced on one spindly wheel. Code gave it a shove.

  “For heaven’s sake, don’t hurt me!” said the cowardly little robot.

  “What are you doing in that giant costume?” said Code. “You could have hurt somebody with those lasers!”

  “I know. I’m sorry!” sobbed the little robot. “I’m not very good at making friends!” Then it squeaked and wheeled around the corner as fast as it could.

  Shaking his head, Code knelt by Gary’s side and put a hand on his shoulder. Even Peep chirped affectionately at Gary’s unconscious form, tapping on his darkened battle visor. Eventually, Gary’s eye visor flickered. As Gary came back online, he raised one gauntleted hand dramatically toward the sky and passionately cried, “Do not lament him, for Gary loved not life—only slaughter.”

  12

  The Leap

  The Great Disassembly:

  T–Minus Twenty-eight Hours

  The abandoned exoskeleton lay where it had fallen, one arm outstretched and the other tucked under its chin. It looked like a giant statue sleeping awkwardly on its stomach. Code examined it hesitantly.

  “Well?” asked Gary. “Get in!”

  With a grin, Code eagerly wriggled into the robot exoskeleton and lay down inside. The soft interior was padded and dotted with glowing buttons. Code pushed his arms into the exoskeleton’s arms and slid his legs inside its legs. The whole thing fit like a glove. Code heard clanging laughter coming from outside.

  “Your human butt is visible through the hatch.” Gary laughed.

  “Close?” asked Code, hoping the machine was voice-activated.

  The back of the exoskeleton hissed and snapped closed. Code yelped in alarm as the interior of the exoskeleton rapidly inflated until his arms, legs, and torso were wrapped up tightly. Peep clambered out of Code’s shirt pocket and perched on top of his head, which was encased in the darkened dome of the helmet.

  “Activate?” said Code.

  The inside of the helmet powered on and Code could see out of the exoskeleton. In addition, he could see information flicker across the screen regarding the status of the suit, the positions of all the thousands of auto-lifters linked to the suit, and even the names of the identical buildings in view.

  “Wow,” whispered Code.

  Code tried to stand up and found that the suit amplified all of his movements. Whenever Code moved his arm, the exoskeleton moved its arm, too. There was no doubt about it: Code was now in charge of a giant robot—one that was even bigger than Gary! Testing out the machine, Code jumped straight up into the air—and the entire city shook from the impact as thousands of heavy-duty auto-lifters jumped upward and slammed back onto the ground at the same time. Inside the exoskeleton, alarms began to blare and red lights flashed.

  “Stop that! You’ll destroy the whole city!” shouted Gary.

  “Oh, sorry. Unlink from auto-lifters?” suggested Code. The suit beeped an affirmative.

  Gary approached, peering into the eye visor of the huge albino robot. “Code, is that you? Are you okay?”

  When Code spoke, the exoskeleton projected his voice outside. “I’m fine, Gary. I feel so … powerful!”

  Gary was amused to hear the high-tonnage exoskeleton speaking in the voice of a young, smallish boy. “Good, because there’s something I’ve been waiting to do.” Before Code could reply, Gary grabbed hold of him and delivered a crippling bear hug. The force was off the scale for any hug ever delivered by man or robot. But instead of being crushed to a pulp, Code gave Gary a squeeze back that made the smaller robot yelp for mercy.

  “Okay, now show me a map to the boat docks,” ordered Code. A map appeared on the inside of the helmet and an arrow pointed at the road ahead of Code. A message popped up that read: “Last ship departs in fifteen seconds.”

  “Oh, no, we’re about to miss the boat!”

  “We’ll get the next one,” said Gary.

  “There isn’t another one. If we don’t catch this boat, every robot in Mekhos is going to be disassembled—including you. We’ve gotta get moving!”

  With that, Code launched himself into a supersized sprint. The buildings around him became a gray blur as he raced down the street. Gary panted along behind. As Code rounded the last corner to the docks, he saw a peculiar ship the size of a city block. It was balanced on six long, thin legs that dimpled the water where they touched. As he watched, the legs swung forward and backward, like paddles, and the colossal water strider lurched ahead a thousand yards. Gary finally arrived, then doubled over and checked his creaking knee joints.

  “I need some joint softener— Hey!” he shouted as Code grabbed him by one arm and one leg. Spinning around in place, Code built up tremendous momentum and then tossed Gary high into the air. “Aaaaaagh!” bellowed Gary, shaking his fist at Code as he catapulted through the sky and crash-landed on the deck of the peculiar ship.

  “Now it’s my turn,” said Code, focusing on a long dock that stretched out into the sea. He lifted one finger to check the wind, then began sprinting toward the rapidly receding ship. Code soon accelerated to a speed faster than any human being in history had ever run. As he zoomed down the long dock, his tremendous clawed
feet tore out chunks of the ground. But the ship was moving too fast. From the deck, Gary bellowed, “Harder, Code! Run harder!”

  And, somehow, Code accelerated even faster. Over the warning lights and wailing sirens, he focused all of his energy, his fear, and his hope, and at the last possible second, made the kind of incredible leap usually reserved for the Robolympics. Encased in a state-of-the-art mechanical exoskeleton, Code sailed high through the air, windmilling his arms and howling with glee …

  … right over Gary’s head, over the prow of the water strider, and into the deepest part of the Fomorian Sea.

  13

  Fomorian Sea

  The Great Disassembly:

  T–Minus Twenty-four Hours

  Code smashed into the surface of the water like a cannonball, though he was safely cocooned inside the exoskeleton. The rugged machine crumpled and buckled on impact, but it protected Code as he sank rapidly into an underwater chasm in the Fomorian Sea. Up on the surface, the water strider skated over the waves, oblivious.

  At this point, Code had lost his enthusiasm for wearing a mechanized power suit. The heavy metal armor was dragging him into the depths of the sea, no matter how hard he tried to swim for the surface. Code rolled over onto his stomach and put his arms out. He looked straight down through the impact-resistant battle visor and saw nothing except the faint clouds of his own breath. The targeting sensors picked out occasional streaks of floating dirt and drew blue circles around them before they passed by. The exoskeleton, which had seemed like so much fun, had now in all likelihood become his coffin.

  After everything I’ve been through, this is how it ends? thought Code. Somewhere high above, the Robonomicon was waiting at the end of the Beamstalk. All the answers Code needed to free his grandfather were up there, on the other side of a million tons of crushing water. If he could just get his hands on that book, Code thought, he could order Immortalis to slap itself with its own tentacles, set his grandpa free, and be the hero of this entire world. Why didn’t I think before I jumped?

  As they sank, Peep flashed green lights through the helmet visor and into the murky water. Each burst of light illuminated some new wonder: thick, chain-linked seaweed, a startled metallic puffer fish, and a glowing electric eel. Soon, however, the water grew darker.