Fifty First Times

  But she was here and so was I.

  Her eyes met mine, and I reached down, wrapped my fingers around the hem of my shirt and lifted it over my head, letting the material fall wherever it landed.

  Pride and a razor-sharp anticipation swelled inside me as her gaze left mine, and moved slowly over my chest and down to where the shorts hung low on my hips. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen me shirtless, but it was the first time in her room, by her bed.

  I wished it were the first of many.

  That thought came out of nowhere, and uncomfortable with it, I bitch slapped it aside as I started toward her. Brit straightened even more, pushing off the desk. Two pink spots bloomed on her cheeks and her chin tilted up as I stopped in front of her.

  Circling my hands around her thin wrists, I slid my hands up her arms, wishing it were bare skin under my fingers and gently gripped her upper arms. I lifted her up, placing her bare feet atop mine.

  She giggled as she placed her hands on my sides. Air hissed between my teeth at the feel of her bare fingers against my skin. “Are we going to dance?”

  “Something like that,” I murmured, trailing one hand around her waist to her lower back. “Did you go to your high school prom?”

  Another laugh escaped her as her fingers flexed and then rose to my shoulders. Tilting her head to the side, she smiled at me. “I did. I was a part of the prom court.”

  “Queen?”

  She shook her head. “Nope. I was a princess.”

  “You were ripped off.” I started to move around the small space as I pulled her against my chest. “You should’ve been queen.”

  “But you didn’t see who was queen. She was the hottest—”

  “I don’t care.” I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “She wasn’t hotter than you. I think we need to go back to your high school and demand a damn recount, because that’s bullshit.”

  Brit laughed. “Let’s do that.”

  I kissed her temple. “You’re as beautiful as any queen.”

  “Charmer,” she whispered, her fingers squeezing as I trailed a path of kisses along her jaw. When I reached the corner of her mouth, she slanted her head toward me. Her tongue flicked out, and I groaned.

  “I wasn’t trying to charm you,” I said, running my hand down. I cupped her ass and lifted her onto the tips of her toes, so that she pressed against me.

  She made a breathy sound. “Well, for not trying, you’re doing a damn good job.”

  “Oh, I haven’t even begun to try.” I tasted her lower lip, thrilled when one hand snaked up, balling into my hair. When she gave a little pull on my hair, I all but growled.

  The kiss started off slow, but quickly spun into something laced with lust and need that had been building for far too long. Our tongues twisted and danced and when I lifted her again, she rose and wrapped her legs around my waist, hooking her ankles behind my back.

  The feel of her . . . damn, the feel of her pressing against me, was enough to almost cause me to lose it right then, before I even got my pants off. How awkward would that have been?

  “I want you,” she breathed against my mouth, in between kisses. Her thighs tightened around me. “I’ve wanted you for a very long time.”

  “It’s like you’re reading my mind.” I walked us over to her bed, my heart thumping in an insane way. “Too bad we waited this long.”

  “Should’ve asked.” She grinned as I groaned. “Please tell me you have protection.”

  “I do.”

  “Thank God for latex,” she said.

  I chuckled as I placed her on her feet by the foot of the bed. Her whiskey-colored eyes were dreamy, unfocused. I skated my hands down her sides, reaching the edge of her dress. “May I?”

  She nodded and then said, “Yes.”

  Hesitating just for a moment, I then drew the dress up, revealing her body, and hell if it wasn’t like unwrapping the best damn present ever. With the dress off, joining my shirt somewhere on the floor, she stood before in me in lacy black panties and a red bra.

  “God,” I said, taking a step back. Her breasts were full, straining against the satiny cups of her red bra. Her body was rocking curves like a country back road. Hips flared out sweetly, her belly concaved, and I already knew how those soft legs felt wrapped around me.

  A flush traveled the length of her body as she folded her arms across her stomach. “What?”

  “You’re beautiful,” I said, dragging my gaze back up to her wide eyes. “You’re fucking beautiful, Brit.”

  Her lips tipped up in a small grin. “You’re already getting laid, Ollie. You don’t need to flatter me. I’m already half naked and ready.”

  “I’m not trying to flatter you, but glad to hear this is a done deal.” I laughed when she rolled her eyes. Taking hold of her arms, I moved them to her sides. “You should never hide yourself. Not from me. I could look at you all night.”

  She curled her fingers in. “I hope that’s not all you do.”

  The throbbing going on in my shorts was also hoping that wasn’t the only thing I was going to do. And it wasn’t.

  Catching the delicate straps of her bra with my fingers, I slowly slid them down her arms. She shivered as my fingertips grazed her sides. I reached around, finding the clasp.

  Brit sucked her lower lip between her teeth as the bra slipped to the floor. God, she was . . . she was perfect, right down to the rosy tips hardening under my gaze.

  She drew in a little breath and her chest rose temptingly. “I . . . I’m surprised.”

  It was a damn miracle that I dragged my eyes up. “About what?”

  “I thought you’d be more of a wham-bam kind of guy.” Her cheeks flushed bright red when I arched a brow. “I mean, not that it would be bad. I’m sure it would be really great—”

  “It will be really fucking awesome.”

  “Okay. It will be really fucking awesome, but I’m surprised you’re going slow.”

  So was I. It was a change a pace for me. I never took it slow before. “I want to make this last.” And that was the truth. I placed my hands on her shoulders. “There’s not a single part of you I want to miss.”

  She opened her mouth, but all that came was breathy moan when I cupped her breasts.

  “Is this okay with you?” I asked, kissing her plump lower lip.

  “Yes. Oh, yes.”

  I chuckled as I trailed a path of tiny kisses down her throat and over the delicate collarbone before tasting the soft skin between her breasts. She drew in a deep breath as the slight stubble on my jaw grazed a swell.

  Smoothing my thumbs over the tips, I shook at the sound of her moan. My mouth watered as I lowered my head, drawing one little nub into my mouth. Her answering cry sent pressure powering down my spine. I moved to the other, worshipping her in the way I’d wanted for so long.

  I took my time, licking and nipping my way down as I knelt in front of her. The scrape of black lace that remained on her body was probably the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

  Closing my eyes, I placed a kiss against the satiny material, right where I wanted to be, to spend my night in.

  Brit gasped, her fingers tangling in my hair.

  I grinned as I hooked my fingers around the band of her panties. Leaning back, not wanting to miss a damn second of this, I slid them down.

  Fuck yeah.

  At my first look at her completely bare to me, something fluttered in my stomach. Holy shit, was that the proverbial butterflies? I’d never believed in them, but something felt like it was trying to wing its way out of my stomach.

  There was a moment, as I helped her stand out of them, I didn’t know what to do. My fingers trembled as I dropped the panties to the side, my heart became a jackhammer in my chest, trying to drill its way out. I’d never, ever felt this way before.

  It shook me—she shook me.

  And she humbled me with this gift, because this was a gift.

  My hands slid up her soft legs, to her curvy hips, and my
mouth turned into a damn heat-seeking missile. I kissed her there, reveling in the way she jerked and her hands clenched tighter. I tasted her and she was the fucking best thing I’d ever tasted. I could spend a lifetime on my knees before her and it wouldn’t be enough.

  I eased her down so she was sitting on the edge of the bed and it wasn’t long before she fell back, her hips moving in a slow, sinuous motion that would linger with me long after tonight was done.

  All of this was to get her out of my system, but deep down, I knew I’d be fucked if I really believed this would work, because now her taste, her scent, and her breathy moans would forever be imbedded in my system, smacked with a label “mine” and filed away.

  Her head kicked back, my name a cry on her lips as she came, and I stayed there, between her legs, my head resting on her thigh, my eyes squeezed shut.

  I was rattled.

  And I was ready. My body throbbed almost painfully, I drew in a deep breath, but it didn’t help. I tried to think about something gross—turtles screwing, because seriously, there was nothing hot about that, but I was still on the edge and I hadn’t even taken my shorts off.

  “Ollie?” she whispered.

  Opening my eyes, I drew in another breath. I needed to keep it together. I also needed to get off my knees and stop using her thigh as a damn pillow, because that might be weird for her at this point.

  I stood, knees locked and eyes wide. “Damn, Brit . . .”

  She bit down on her lip, watching me through thick lashes. Lying like that before me . . . ?

  “I could get used to seeing you like this,” I said before I could stop myself.

  Her cheeks flushed. “For real?”

  The slight rise in her voice, the cloud of disbelief that passed across her features, tugged at something in my chest. “Yeah, for real.”

  She rose up on her elbows, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t have a problem keeping my eyes on her face. “That doesn’t sound like you.”

  “I’m not me when I’m around you.” Yeah, that made absolutely no sense. “I mean, maybe I am me when I’m around you.”

  A smile pulled at her lips. “Oliver Ryan,” she said, and holy Christ cookies, I almost came hearing her same my full name. “I think you might actually like me.”

  “I do.”

  Surprise flickered across her face. A moment passed. “I like you too,” she whispered. “I like you a lot.”

  There was a strange swelling in my chest. As I stared into those warm eyes, I knew suddenly this wasn’t just a challenge. Nothing about being her with her was a simple as getting in and getting off. There was no getting her out of my system. This wasn’t that. My heart rate kicked into cardiac territory. Was I having a heart attack? I had no idea what to do with the feeling.

  I froze at the unexpected feeling in my chest.

  “Ollie,” she breathed, her head cocked to the side. “You still with me?”

  “Yeah.” My voice was gruff, thick.

  Brit sat up, her gaze traveling down my stomach. Muscles tensed under her gaze. She reached for the button on my shorts, flicked them open with a confidence I’d always admired. She concentrated on the task, easing the zipper down.

  Her eyes popped to mine. “You’re commando?”

  I grinned, because I was beyond talking at this point.

  She laughed softly as she gripped the sides of my shorts. “I should’ve guessed as much. You know.” She eased my pants down, and I stepped out of them. As she checked me out, her mouth opening slightly, she appeared to lose her train of thought. “Wow.”

  Male pride pecked at me.

  Her eyes swept up to mine. “You know,” she repeated, wrapping her hand around the base of me. The touch caused my hands to curl into fists. “This doesn’t have to be our only time.” Her cheeks flushed a deep, pretty pink. “I mean, if you wanted, we could get together again. I could come up and visit you or—”

  My balls tightened like a fist had been wrapped around them. Release powered down my spine, and there was no stopping it. My head thrust back as the most powerful orgasm almost knocked me on my feet, pulsed through me.

  Floored, I swayed back a step, vaguely aware that her hand was still wrapped around me. It hadn’t been her touch that had sent me off. Oh, hell, no, it had been her words, her want to see me again.

  What in the hell?

  Brit stared up at me with wide eyes. Her hand was covered, so was my lower stomach.

  Holy fuck, I just came.

  This was the first time something like this had ever happened and it had to happen with her?

  “Holy shit,” I groaned, stepping back, easing her hand off me. “I don’t know . . .”

  Her cheeks blossomed with color as she wetted her lower lip. “Uh, it’s not a big deal.”

  I stared at her. This was a big deal. Usually this was a huge and long deal that fucking lasted, like I don’t know, through actual sex, but right now it was an underperforming sad deal.

  “Seriously,” she said, standing. For a moment I got hung up on the twitch of her ass as she walked over to the dresser and picked up a towel, wiping her hand. She handed it to me. “I mean it.”

  I laughed, the sound harsh to my own ears as I took the towel and cleaned myself up. “Yeah, you’re being too sweet.”

  “I don’t think so.” She sat on the bed, completely at ease with her nakedness. “It must’ve been a while for you.”

  “It has been.” I thrust my hands through my hair. “I haven’t been with anyone since I left for med school.”

  Her eyes widened. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah.” Might as well get all caring and sharing since I just came all over her hand. What the fuck ever. “Not a single person.”

  “Why?”

  The question of my lifetime it seemed. Screwed up thing was that I knew the answer. “It’s because of you.”

  Her delicate brows climbed halfway to her hairline. “Me?”

  I nodded and the words just dumped right out of my mouth. “The night before I left? When you kissed my cheek and asked me to behave? Well, I . . . I don’t know. I just haven’t been interested in anyone, because you’ve gotten under my skin and I thought—fuck, I don’t know what I thought.”

  Brit’s eyes were so wide I wondered if it was painful for her.

  “I thought by coming here, getting shot down by you or getting with you, would get you out of myself, but that’s not what’s going to happen. I know that. And I wanted this to be good for you.”

  “Wait,” she said. “You really like me.”

  I stared at her.

  “And it has been great for me so far.” She tucked a short strand of hair back behind her ear. “So let’s just get that straight, but back to the other part. You really like me.”

  “I do.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t understand why.”

  “Are you crazy? Wait. Don’t answer that. You are a little crazy, and I like it. You’re a smartass. You’re funny as hell. You don’t take shit from anyone, especially me. You’re smart.” I blew out a breath. “You’re absolutely beautiful to me and you always saw more than anyone else when you looked at me. So yeah, I like you. I really like you. And when you said you wanted to see me again, that you didn’t want this to be a one night thing, well, you know how that affected me. It ended up all over you hand.”

  Brit blinked, and I really needed to find my jeans and get the hell out of here, because I totally just unloaded on her like some kind of lovesick sixteen-year-old.

  This was a fuck ton awkward.

  “You’re right,” she said, stopping me. “I’m pretty damn awesome.”

  My lips twitched.

  “And you’re pretty damn awesome. I’ve always known you were more than a stoned-out man whore,” she said, peeking up at me through thick, dark lashes as she giggled. “I’ve always believed in you, Ollie.”

  My heart about grew five times its size and I wondered if I’d be dropping off Christmas pr
esents to random houses this year. Standing buck-ass naked in front of her, all I could do was stare. Thoughts spun in my head and I was thinking some crazy shit.

  Being here with her, both of us naked, suddenly wasn’t about the sex. Hell, it had never been about the sex and I was just now realizing that.

  This was a first for me, totally uncharted.

  I didn’t date.

  I didn’t do relationships.

  Commitment was a four-letter word to me.

  But Brit . . . she was different, always so different, and I wanted to do this different with her. I had to do it different.

  “Okay. Shit.” Sitting on her the bed beside her, I tugged her into my lap. Her weight got me stirring to life all over, but that wasn’t important. I cupped her face, hoping my hands didn’t start shaking again. “I like you, Brit, and this . . . this is a first for me, so I’m probably going to sound pretty stupid.”

  She wrapped her hands around my wrists. “I don’t think you will.”

  I sure as hell hoped not. “I want . . . I want to do things right with you. I want this.” I groaned when she shifted, pressing that sweet ass down. “I really want this with you, but I want it to be different. I want to go out with you—take you on a date, the movies, dinner—anything. I don’t want us to start this out hooking up.”

  “What is this?” she asked, her thumbs running up and down the insides of my wrists.

  “I don’t know.” I rested my forehead on hers. “A relationship? Yeah, that sounds about right. Me. You. Doing the . . .”

  “Boyfriend and girlfriend thing?”

  “Yeah, that thing.” My face heated, and I wanted to kick myself.

  “You’re blushing!”

  “Thanks for pointing that out,” I said dryly.

  A slow smile crept over her face, reaching her eyes. “This really is a first time for you.”

  The awe in her voice made me feel a little stupid, but then she closed the distance between us, kissing me. “I like that idea, Ollie. A lot.”

  Surprise punched into my gut. “You do?”

  “Yeah,” she whispered, kissing me again. “I do.”

  “Hot damn,” I murmured, capturing her mouth and taking the kiss to a different kind of level that left us both breathless.