Breaking Dawn

  We revolved steadily.

  It would have been a shame to miss seeing you like this, though. Thats worth the trip right there. You look unbelievable, Bella. So beautiful.

  Alice invested a lot of time in me today. The dark helps, too.

  Its not so dark for me, you know.

  Right. Werewolf senses. It was easy to forget all the things he could do, he seemed so human. Especially right now.

  You cut your hair, I noted.

  Yeah. Easier, you know. Thought Id better take advantage of the hands.

  It looks good, I lied.

  He snorted. Right. I did it myself, with rusty kitchen shears. He grinned widely for a moment, and then his smile faded. His expression turned serious. Are you happy, Bella?

  Yes.

  Okay. I felt his shoulders shrug. Thats the main thing, I guess.

  How are you, Jacob? Really?

  Im fine, Bella, really. You dont need to worry about me anymore. You can stop bugging Seth.

  Im not just bugging him because of you. I like Seth.

  Hes a good kid. Better company than some. I tell you, if I could get rid of the voices in my head, being a wolf would be about perfect.

  I laughed at the way it sounded. Yeah, I cant get mine to shut up, either.

  In your case, that would mean youre insane. Of course, I already knew that you were insane, he teased.

  Thanks.

  Insanity is probably easier than sharing a pack mind. Crazy peoples voices dont send babysitters to watch them.

  Huh?

  Sams out there. And some of the others. Just in case, you know.

  In case of what?

  In case I cant keep it together, something like that. In case I decide to trash the party. He flashed a quick smile at what was probably an appealing thought to him. But Im not here to ruin your wedding, Bella. Im here to . . . He trailed off.

  To make it perfect.

  Thats a tall order.

  Good thing youre so tall.

  He groaned at my bad joke and then sighed. Im just here to be your friend. Your best friend, one last time.

  Sam should give you more credit.

  Well, maybe Im being oversensitive. Maybe theyd be here anyway, to keep an eye on Seth. There are a lot of vampires here. Seth doesnt take that as seriously as he should.

  Seth knows that hes not in any danger. He understands the Cullens better than Sam does.

  Sure, sure, Jacob said, making peace before it could turn into a fight.

  It was strange to have him being the diplomat.

  Sorry about those voices, I said. Wish I could make it better. In so many ways.

  Its not that bad. Im just whining a little.

  Youre happy?

  Close enough. But enough about me. Youre the star today. He chuckled. I bet youre just loving that. Center of attention.

  Yeah. Cant get enough attention.

  He laughed and then stared over my head. With pursed lips, he studied the shimmering glow of the reception party, the graceful whirl of the dancers, the fluttering petals falling from the garlands; I looked with him. It all seemed very distant from this black, quiet space. Almost like watching the white flurries swirling inside a snow globe.

  Ill give them this much, he said. They know how to throw a party.

  Alice is an unstoppable force of nature.

  He sighed. Songs over. Do you think I get another one? Or is that asking too much?

  I tightened my hand around his. You can have as many dances as you want.

  He laughed. That would be interesting. I think Id better stick with two, though. Dont want to start talk.

  We turned in another circle.

  Youd think Id be used to telling you goodbye by now, he murmured.

  I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but I couldnt force it down.

  Jacob looked at me and frowned. He wiped his fingers across my cheek, catching the tears there.

  Youre not supposed to be the one crying, Bella.

  Everyone cries at weddings, I said thickly.

  This is what you want, right?

  Right.

  Then smile.

  I tried. He laughed at my grimace.

  Im going to try to remember you like this. Pretend that . . .

  That what? That I died?

  He clenched his teeth. He was struggling with himselfwith his decision to make his presence here a gift and not a judgment. I could guess what he wanted to say.

  No, he finally answered. But Ill see you this way in my head. Pink cheeks. Heartbeat. Two left feet. All of that.

  I deliberately stomped on his foot as hard as I could.

  He smiled. Thats my girl.

  He started to say something else and then snapped his mouth closed. Struggling again, teeth gritted against the words he didnt want to say.

  My relationship with Jacob used to be so easy. Natural as breathing. But since Edward had come back into my life, it was a constant strain. Becausein Jacobs eyesby choosing Edward, I was choosing a fate that was worse than death, or at least equivalent to it.

  What is it, Jake? Just tell me. You can tell me anything.

  II I dont have anything to tell you.

  Oh please. Spit it out.

  Its true. Its not itsits a question. Its something I want you to tell me.

  Ask me.

  He struggled for another minute and then exhaled. I shouldnt. It doesnt matter. Im just morbidly curious.

  Because I knew him so well, I understood.

  Its not tonight, Jacob, I whispered.

  Jacob was even more obsessed with my humanity than Edward. He treasured every one of my heartbeats, knowing that they were numbered.

  Oh, he said, trying to smother his relief. Oh.

  A new song started playing, but he didnt notice the change this time.

  When? he whispered.

  I dont know for sure. A week or two, maybe.

  His voice changed, took on a defensive, mocking edge. Whats the holdup?

  I just didnt want to spend my honeymoon writhing in pain.

  Youd rather spend it how? Playing checkers? Ha ha.

  Very funny.

  Kidding, Bells. But, honestly, I dont see the point. You cant have a real honeymoon with your vampire, so why go through the motions? Call a spade a spade. This isnt the first time youve put this off. Thats a good thing, though, he said, suddenly earnest. Dont be embarrassed about it.

  Im not putting anything off, I snapped. And yes I can have a real honeymoon! I can do anything I want! Butt out!

  He stopped our slow circling abruptly. For a moment, I wondered if hed finally noticed the music change, and I scrambled in my head for a way to patch up our little tiff before he said goodbye to me. We shouldnt part on this note.

  And then his eyes bulged wide with a strange kind of confused horror.

  What? he gasped. What did you say?

  About what ? Jake? Whats wrong?

  What do you mean? Have a real honeymoon? While youre still human? Are you kidding? Thats a sick joke, Bella!

  I glared at him. I said butt out, Jake. This is so not your business. I shouldnt have we shouldnt even be talking about this. Its private

  His enormous hands gripped the tops of my arms, wrapping all the way around, fingers overlapping.

  Ow, Jake! Let go!

  He shook me.

  Bella! Have you lost your mind? You cant be that stupid! Tell me youre joking!

  He shook me again. His hands, tight as tourniquets, were quivering, sending vibrations deep into my bones.

  Jakestop!

  The darkness was suddenly very crowded.

  Take your hands off her! Edwards voice was cold as ice, sharp as razors.

  Behind Jacob, there was a low snarl from the black night, and then another, overlapping the first.

  Jake, bro, back away, I heard Seth Clearwater urge. Youre losing it.

  Jacob seemed frozen as he was, his horrified eyes wide and staring.

  Youll
hurt her, Seth whispered. Let her go.

  Now! Edward snarled.

  Jacobs hands dropped to his sides, and the sudden gush of blood through my waiting veins was almost painful. Before I could register more than that, cold hands replaced the hot ones, and the air was suddenly whooshing past me.

  I blinked, and I was on my feet a half dozen feet away from where Id been standing. Edward was tensed in front of me. There were two enormous wolves braced between him and Jacob, but they did not seem aggressive to me. More like they were trying to prevent the fight.

  And Sethgangly, fifteen-year-old Sethhad his long arms around Jacobs shaking body, and he was tugging him away. If Jacob phased with Seth so close

  Cmon, Jake. Lets go.

  Ill kill you, Jacob said, his voice so choked with rage that it was low as a whisper. His eyes, focused on Edward, burned with fury. Ill kill you myself! Ill do it now! He shuddered convulsively.

  The biggest wolf, the black one, growled sharply.

  Seth, get out of the way, Edward hissed.

  Seth tugged on Jacob again. Jacob was so bewildered with rage that Seth was able to yank him a few feet farther back. Dont do it, Jake. Walk away. Cmon.

  Samthe bigger wolf, the black onejoined Seth then. He put his massive head against Jacobs chest and shoved.

  The three of themSeth towing, Jake trembling, Sam pushingdisappeared swiftly into the darkness.

  The other wolf stared after them. I wasnt sure, in the weak light, about the color of his furchocolate brown, maybe? Was it Quil, then?

  Im sorry, I whispered to the wolf.

  Its all right now, Bella, Edward murmured.

  The wolf looked at Edward. His gaze was not friendly. Edward gave him one cold nod. The wolf huffed and then turned to follow the others, vanishing as they had.

  All right, Edward said to himself, and then he looked at me. Lets get back.

  But Jake

  Sam has him in hand. Hes gone.

  Edward, Im so sorry. I was stupid

  You did nothing wrong

  I have such a big mouth! Why would I I shouldnt have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?

  Dont worry. He touched my face. We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our absence.

  I shook my head, trying to reorient myself. Before someone noticed? Had anyone missed that?

  Then, as I thought about it, I realized the confrontation that had seemed so catastrophic to me had, in reality, been very quiet and short here in the shadows.

  Give me two seconds, I pleaded.

  My insides were chaotic with panic and grief, but that didnt matteronly the outside mattered right now. Putting on a good show was something I knew I had to master.

  My dress?

  You look fine. Not a hair out of place.

  I took two deep breaths. Okay. Lets go.

  He put his arms around me and led me back to the light. When we passed under the twinkle lights, he spun me gently onto the dance floor. We melted in with the other dancers as if our dance had never been interrupted.

  I glanced around at the guests, but no one seemed shocked or frightened. Only the very palest faces there showed any signs of stress, and they hid it well. Jasper and Emmett were on the edge of the floor, close together, and I guessed that they had been nearby during the confrontation.

  Are you

  Im fine, I promised. I cant believe I did that. Whats wrong with me?

  Nothing is wrong with you.

  Id been so glad to see Jacob here. I knew the sacrifice it had taken him. And then Id ruined it, turned his gift into a disaster. I should be quarantined.

  But my idiocy would not ruin anything else tonight. I would put this away, shove it in a drawer and lock it up to deal with later. There would be plenty of time to flagellate myself for this, and nothing I could do now would help.

  Its over, I said. Lets not think of it again tonight.

  I expected a quick agreement from Edward, but he was silent.

  Edward?

  He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to mine. Jacob is right, he whispered. What am I thinking?

  He is not. I tried to keep my face smooth for the watching crowd of friends. Jacob is way too prejudiced to see anything clearly.

  He mumbled something low that sounded almost like should let him kill me for even thinking . . .

  Stop it, I said fiercely. I grabbed his face in my hands and waited until he opened his eyes. You and me. Thats the only thing that matters. The only thing youre allowed to think about now. Do you hear me?

  Yes, he sighed.

  Forget Jacob came. I could do that. I would do that. For me. Promise that youll let this go.

  He stared into my eyes for a moment before answering. I promise.

  Thank you. Edward, Im not afraid.

  I am, he whispered.

  Dont be. I took deep breath and smiled. By the way, I love you.

  He smiled just a little in return. Thats why were here.

  Youre monopolizing the bride, Emmett said, coming up behind Edwards shoulder. Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush. He laughed loudly, as unaffected as he usually was by any serious atmosphere.

  It turned out there were actually lots of people I hadnt danced with yet, and that gave me a chance to truly compose and resolve myself. When Edward claimed me again, I found that the Jacob-drawer was shut nice and tight. As he wrapped his arms around me, I was able to unearth my earlier sense of joy, my certainty that everything in my life was in the right place tonight. I smiled and laid my head against his chest. His arms tightened.

  I could get used to this, I said.

  Dont tell me youve gotten over your dancing issues?

  Dancing isnt so badwith you. But I was thinking more of this,and I pressed myself to him even tighterof never having to let you go.

  Never, he promised, and he leaned down to kiss me.

  It was a serious kind of kissintense, slow but building.

  Id pretty much forgotten where I was when I heard Alice call, Bella! Its time!

  I felt a brief flicker of irritation with my new sister for the interruption.

  Edward ignored her; his lips were hard against mine, more urgent than before. My heart broke into a sprint and my palms were slick against his marble neck.

  Do you want to miss your plane? Alice demanded, right next to me now. Im sure youll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight.

  Edward turned his face slightly to murmur, Go away, Alice, and then pressed his lips to mine again.

  Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane? she demanded.

  I wasnt really paying much attention. At the moment, I simply didnt care.

  Alice growled quietly. Ill tell her where youre taking her, Edward. So help me, I will.

  He froze. Then he lifted his face from mine and glared at his favorite sister. Youre awfully small to be so hugely irritating.

  I didnt pick out the perfect going-away dress to have it wasted, she snapped back, taking my hand. Come with me, Bella.

  I tugged against her hold, stretching up on my toes to kiss him one more time. She jerked my arm impatiently, hauling me away from him. There were a few chuckles from the watching guests. I gave up then and let her lead me into the empty house.

  She looked annoyed.

  Sorry, Alice, I apologized.

  I dont blame you, Bella. She sighed. You dont seem to be able help yourself.

  I giggled at her martyred expression, and she scowled.

  Thank you, Alice. It was the most beautiful wedding anyone ever had, I told her earnestly. Everything was exactly right. Youre the best, smartest, most talented sister in the whole world.

  That thawed her out; she smiled a huge smile. Im glad you liked it.

  Rene and Esme were waiting upstairs. The three of them quickly had me out of my dress and into Alices deep blue going-away ensemble. I was grateful when someone pulled the pi
ns out of my hair and let it fall loose down my back, wavy from the braids, saving me from a hairpin headache later. My mothers tears streamed without a break the entire time.