Leaving Paradise

Page 31

"Yo, amigo, you ready to vamónos? a guy yells from the car.

"Who is that?"

"Rio. "

Im worried. "I mean, who is he?"

"You dont want to know, Maggie," Caleb says. "Listen, I gotta go. "

I look up into his beautiful, intense face. At the same time I know hes never going to give away the secret hes been holding inside. That fierce, protective spirit is a part of him, a bond he cant break.

"Where are you going? When will you be back?"

"Im not coming back. "

Looking into his serious, sad eyes, I know he means what hes saying. My eyes start to water and tears roll down my cheeks. "You cant leave me. Not now. " I want to beg and plead and cry and grab him until he changes his mind. I want to play tennis with him today, and tomorrow, and the next day.

He gently swipes my tears with his fingers. "Then come with me. "

The tables have cruelly turned. I tell him, "I realized you were right. Its a copout to leave. Im going to stay in Paradise until I graduate, and save the money Mrs. Reynolds gave me for college. "

"Becker, you comin or not?" the guy in the car calls out.

Caleb nods and says, "Yeah, Im coming. "

I lean in and touch his forehead to mine. "Tell me what we had was real," I whisper. "Please. "

Calebs hands lightly clasp my head on both sides, enclosing us into our own private world. "As real as it gets. Dont ever question that, no matter what. Okay?"

"Right now Im questioning everything. Why did I even come here?"

"Because youre ready to start a new life, Maggie. Youre free of the past now. It cant hurt you. For me, being free means leaving Paradise. " Leaning in, he kisses me. So soft and full of warmth and longing and remorse.

I want to grab him and keep him safe. "Does that mean were both free?"

He nods, unable to put it into words.

I know hell never write or call. Hes going to cut all ties with his family and this little town thats caused him so much grief. Including me. God, how I wish Caleb never pled guilty to hitting me. Although if the accident had never happened, if hed never gone to jail and been stuck doing community service, Caleb and I might never have been together.

I wouldnt have changed that for anything.

He steps back and winks at me. "Bye. "

"Im not going to say it back to you, you know," I tell him.

He gives a short laugh and keeps retreating backwards. "Then tell me something I can remember as your last words to me. Tell me you love me. Tell me youll think of me every night before you sleep. Tell me--"

"The red hen has flown the coop" I say.

He laughs. "Ill always remember Mrs. Reynolds, the gazebo, the daffodils, you and me in the gazebo . . . " Caleb winks at me one more time and turns around, his back to me as he walks to the Toyota. I want to scream at him for leaving me. I want to run up to him and forget being sane. Let us live in the streets together. As long as were a team, nothing can bring us lower than we were apart.

But he never did tell me it was Leah who hit me. Hes the one who, in the end, didnt trust me . . . or himself.

Im sobbing now, more than I did after the accident. And my heart hurts, more pain oozing from it than my leg ever had.

"Caleb!" I yell right before he slides into the passenger seat and closes the car door. I hold my breath, waiting for him to come back to me. To turn around. But he doesnt.

The car screeches away, its red lights a blur through my watery eyes.

I head back home and some time during the ride I stop crying. Theres strength within me that I didnt know existed before. Its as if Mrs. Reynolds is nudging me to stay strong. Life is too short, shed once said. She was right. As I pull into my driveway and get out of my car, I notice Leah. Shes standing in the front doorway of her house, her eyes puffy.

I walk over to her. "Is your mom okay?"

She shrugs. "I guess. Your moms with her. "

Well, its a step in the right direction. Its about time we mended that invisible fence. I look up at my old best friend.

"You saw him, didnt you?" she asks me.

"Yeah. "

She holds her arm over her eyes and starts to sob. "I need to tell you something really, really important. But I cant look at you while I do it. "

I take her arm and lower it. "You dont have to tell me right now," I say. "When youre ready, we can talk. "

"Youre going to hate me, Maggie. For the rest of your life youre going to hate me. "

"Im not going to hate you. I know, Leah. I know what it is. "

"You do?" she says, all glassy-eyed. "Yeah. But its okay. "

"It is?"

"Lets just say our friendship means more to me than holding a grudge or living in the past. You know what always helps me forget?"

"What?"

"A pie run. "

Leah gives me a small smile behind her tears. "Youre kidding, right?"

"Nope. Come with me for a drive to Auntie Maes. Lets get our moms . . . I think they need some pie, too. "