Chaos at Custard Castle

stard Castle

  Four stories about Custard Castle

  Emma Laybourn

  Copyright 2015 Emma Laybourn

  You can read more Custard Castle tales, as well as lots of other free stories, at Emma Laybourn's website,

  www.megamousebooks.com

  Table of Contents

  Princess Fifi's Frog

  The Surprising Storm

  Dragon Dilemma

  Spring Clean

  Custard Castle had three hundred dusty rooms, and only seven people.

  There was the King, the Queen, and Princess Fifi.

  There was Bella the maid, Jack the servant boy, and the Cook.

  There was Wizard Watchit, who lived in the tallest tower, and did magic spells for the others.

  However, he didn't always get them right?

  Princess Fifi's Frog

  Princess Fifi was in her purple rowing boat.

  She was rowing across the moat of Custard Castle with Bella the maid. It was a warm summer's day. But Fifi was not happy.

  "Bother," she said. "Why can't I find any frogs? Where are they all?"

  "They hopped away when the moat got turned to custard," Bella told her. "Even when it turned back to water, the frogs never came back."

  "But I need a frog!" wailed Fifi. "I need a frog to kiss and change into a handsome prince!"

  "Hmm," said Bella. "I'm not sure if that's the best way to find a prince."

  Fifi wasn't listening. She had spotted something in the reeds.

  "A frog! A frog!" she shouted. "I've found one at last. Look!"

  Bella looked. It was a very ugly frog. It had nubbly, knobbly, greenish-brownish skin, and bulging orange eyes.

  "Hand me the net!" cried Fifi.

  WHOP! went the net over the frog.

  It did not try to jump away. It sat inside the net and blinked its orange eyes.

  Fifi grabbed the frog and picked it up to kiss it.

  "Yuck!" she said. "It tastes horrid. Why isn't it turning into a prince?"

  "Maybe it's a lady frog," said Bella.

  "Then it should turn into a princess!" said Fifi. "That would be better than nothing. I could play with another princess."

  She screwed up her face and kissed the frog again.

  Still nothing happened.

  "Hold it for me," commanded Fifi. She began to row back to shore.

  Bella held the frog at arm's length. It felt cold and slimy, and it smelt of mud.

  When they reached the bank, Fifi said, "Let's go and find Wizard Watchit. He can turn this frog into a prince for me."

  Wizard Watchit lived in the tallest tower of the Castle. Fifi marched towards the tower, and Bella followed with the frog.

  "What do you want a handsome prince for, anyway?" she asked.

  "To fetch and carry things, of course!" said Fifi. "And to fight dragons, and give me chocolates, and gallop to my rescue, and so on."

  "Hmm," said Bella. "I'm not sure if that's the best way to treat a prince."

  By now they were at the Wizard's tower. Fifi shouted up the stairs.

  "Wizard Watchit! Come down here!"

  Nobody answered.

  "Bother!" said Fifi, and she began to climb the stairs.

  Bella followed, carrying the frog. It was very heavy. After a while she had to put it down.

  "You can hop up the stairs," she told it.

  The frog did not hop up the stairs. It just sat and blinked at her.

  With a sigh, Bella picked it up again. She had to carry it all the way to the top of the tower.

  Fifi banged on Wizard Watchit's door. When the Wizard opened it, he looked very cross.

  "What do you want?" he snapped. "I'm in the middle of a spell."

  "I want you to turn this frog into a prince for me," said Fifi.

  The Wizard looked at the nubbly, knobbly, greenish-brownish frog. "It won't be much of a prince," he said.

  Fifi stamped her foot. "I don't care! Just do it!"

  "All right," said the Wizard. "I'll try." He began to gabble a spell.

  "Oh froggy frog, grow big and wide

  From up to down and side to side.

  Turn into a prince so charming

  And don't look quite so alarming."

  "That's not a very good rhyme," said Bella.

  "It's not a very good frog," sniffed Wizard Watchit. "And I've got better things to do."

  "Look! The spell's working!" cried Fifi in excitement.

  The frog was beginning to grow. Soon it was too big and heavy for Bella to hold. She put it down in a hurry.

  The frog kept on growing bigger and bigger. It did not turn into a handsome prince. It turned into a giant, nubbly, knobbly, greenish-brownish frog.

  The giant frog squatted at the top of the stairs and blinked at them with enormous orange eyes.

  "What's that meant to be?" squawked Fifi.

  "That's your prince," said Wizard Watchit. "Take it away. I'm busy." And he slammed the door.

  Just then the giant frog began to hop.

  It had not wanted to hop up the stairs. But it did not mind hopping down them.

  However, hopping was not quite the right word. Thud thud thud went the giant frog, slithering and sliding and lolloping down the stairs.

  Fifi and Bella chased after it.

  "Catch it!" Fifi cried.

  Bella tried to catch the frog, but it was too huge and slippery. When she grabbed one of its legs, it slid out of her grasp. It waddled out of the Wizard's tower and headed for the castle door.

  "Stop right there, you stupid prince!" cried Fifi.

  The frog did not stop. It crawled up to the castle door and squeezed through, ripping the door off its hinges.

  The frog lolloped into the castle. Slap slap slap went its huge body on the flagstones.

  It stopped in the middle of the hall and looked around, as if it was wondering where to go next.

  "Aha!" cried Fifi. "I've got you now, you great big green galumphing prince!"

  "Hmm," said Bella. "I'm not sure if that's the best way to talk to a prince."

  "Stay right there, you ugly prince!" ordered Fifi. "It's dragon-fighting time!"

  She ran to the cupboard under the stairs, where they kept a small sleepy dragon for lighting the fires.

  Fifi took the little dragon out of the cupboard. She put it down in front of the gigantic frog.

  "Well, go on, then! Fight!" she said.

  The frog and the dragon looked at each other. The frog blinked its enormous orange eyes.

  The dragon yawned. A puff of smoke came from its mouth and drifted into the frog's face.

  The frog did not like the smoke. It blinked several times, quickly. Then it turned round and began to lollop away down the corridor.

  "What a useless prince," cried Fifi. "After it!"

  The giant frog lolloped into the throne room. The King was in there, having an important nap.

  Slap slap slap went the frog across the floor. The King woke up and fell off his throne in shock.

  "Help!" he cried. "A monster! Save me!"

  "It's not a monster, it's only a stupid prince," said Fifi.

  The frog stared at the King. Then it shot out a fat green tongue. It caught a beetle underneath the throne, and dropped it in front of Fifi.

  "Stop that, you disgusting prince!" said Fifi. "You're supposed to give me chocolates, not beetles!"

  The giant frog just blinked at her. Then it lolloped away out of the throne room.

  The next room was the royal bathroom. The frog slithered through the door.

  The Queen was in there, putting up a shelf. She dropped all her screws in surprise when the giant frog waddled in.

  It lolloped over to the bath and sat down in i
t with an enormous, heavy squelch.

  The Queen stared at it in horror. "Help!" she cried. "It's going to break the bath!"

  No sooner had she spoken than the bath began to crack. A hundred little jagged lines appeared all over it.

  Then it fell apart under the weight of the giant frog. Bits of bath rolled everywhere.

  "Come here, you clumsy prince!" yelled Fifi.

  But the frog picked itself up and lolloped out of the bathroom.

  It waddled through the castle until it reached the kitchen.

  The Cook was in there with Jack the servant-boy. The Cook was making royal doughnuts, and Jack was testing them.

  "This one's not round enough for the King," said Jack. He had just put the doughnut in his mouth,when the giant frog squeezed through the door.

  "Help!" cried the Cook, as the frog waddled towards them.

  Its orange eyes bulged more than ever. Then it shot out its fat green tongue, and swept a doughnut off the plate into its mouth.

  "Stop it, you greedy prince!" Princess Fifi shouted. "You just stop right there!"

  The giant frog stopped and looked at her.

  "Start behaving properly," scolded Fifi. "You're meant to ride like the wind to be at my side. You're not supposed to lollop through the castle like a sack of cabbages!"

  The giant frog just blinked at her. Then it shot out its fat green tongue and licked its own nose.

  Fifi shrieked. "What revolting manners!"

  "Whatever is it?" gasped the trembling Cook.

  "It's a very disappointing prince," snapped Fifi.

  "It doesn't look much like a prince," said Jack.

  Bella explained. "It's a frog that Wizard Watchit did a spell on."

  Jack stared at it. "A frog?" he said. "No, I don't think so. That's a toad!"

  "A toad? No wonder the spell didn't work properly," said Bella.

  "A toad? I can't stand toads!" screamed Fifi, and she ran out of the kitchen.

  The giant toad began to lollop after her with huge, squelchy lollops. It could lollop faster than Fifi could run. It caught her up and bowled her over.

  Then it sat on her legs and blinked at her with its enormous orange eyes.

  "Help!" cried Fifi. "Get this terrible toad prince off me!"

  The toad shot out its fat green tongue and licked Princess Fifi's nose.

  "Aargh!" she squealed. "It wants to eat me!"

  "No, it doesn't. I think it likes you," said Jack.

  "It likes me?"

  "Well, you did kiss it," Bella pointed out. "Twice. And you've followed it all over the castle, and you keep calling it a prince. So it's not surprising if it likes you."

  "I expect it's trying to kiss you back," said Jack.

  "No!" screamed Fifi. "Never!" She managed to pull her legs free. Then she picked up her frilly skirts and raced away.

  The giant toad lolloped after her. It chased Fifi all the way through Custard Castle, while Jack and Bella followed.

  Fifi ran through room after room, until at last she reached the back door. She shot through it and ran down to the moat.

  Her rowing-boat was pulled up on the bank. Fifi jumped into the boat and pushed off across the water.

  "Haha!" she cried. "Toads can't swim like frogs. You can't reach me now, you stupid prince!"

  "Actually," said Jack, "toads can swim quite well. They just don't do it as much as frogs."

  Before he finished speaking, the giant toad flopped into the water with an enormous SPLOSH.

  It was such an enormous SPLOSH that a huge wave reared up and sped across the moat like a tsunami.

  The huge wave caught Fifi's rowing boat. It threw it up into the air and turned it over. Fifi tumbled out and disappeared into the water.

  The toad blinked its enormous orange eyes. Then it dived beneath the surface.

  "What can we do?" gasped Jack.

  "We'll have to rescue her!" cried Bella. She was pulling off her shoes ready to jump in, when the water rose up in another giant wave.

  In the middle of the wave they saw the toad. It came up with something clinging to its back, covered in duck-weed.

  "Fifi!" shouted Bella. "Are you all right?"

  Fifi did not answer. She was trying to balance on the toad's back as it swam.

  The toad swam to the side of the moat and Fifi slid off. Bella helped her to her feet.

  "Stupid prince!" cried Fifi, shaking off the duck-weed. "Now my frilly frock is ruined!"

  "Hang on," said Bella. "That toad just saved your life!"

  "It came to your rescue," added Jack. "Isn't that what a prince is meant to do?"

  Fifi frowned. "Well? I suppose so."

  "So what are you going to say to it?" said Bella.

  "Thank you, stupid prince," said Fifi sulkily.

  "Ahem," said Bella.

  "Oh, all right. Thank you, kind and gallant prince, for swimming to my rescue."

  In answer, the toad shot out its fat green tongue and licked Princess Fifi's nose.

  "Aargh!" she screamed. The toad dived back into the moat in alarm.

  "You've frightened it away," said Jack.

  "No, there it is!" Bella pointed at the reed-bed. "It's where you found it. It's gone back home."

  The giant toad was squatting in the reeds. And there it stayed all week, until the Wizard's spell wore off and it shrank back to its normal size.

  That was a hot and sunny week. It was so hot that every evening Fifi and Bella and Jack came to the moat for a swim.

  Whenever the giant toad saw them coming, it began to lollop up and down in the reeds with excitement. And every lollop made a huge and marvellous wave, perfect to practise surfing on.

  When they got tired, the giant toad gave them a lift to dry land on its back.

  "All in all," said Fifi, as she threw the toad a doughnut, "I've met worse princes - and none that was as good at licking his own nose."

  The Surprising Storm

  The King was very excited.

  "I've got an invitation to King Ludo's party!" he said. "All the top Kings will be there!"

  "Can I go?" asked Princess Fifi.

  "Certainly not! It's Kings only."

  "What about queens?" the Queen asked.

  "Didn't you hear me? This is a kingly party," said the King. "We play kingly games like Pass the Crown, and we talk about kingly things."

  "What sort of kingly things?"

  "Like who has the biggest dragon, and the highest tower, and the most gold, and the newest clothes. I'd better wear my best red velvet gown. Where is my red velvet gown, Bella?"

  "In your wardrobe," said Bella the maid.

  "No, it's not!" said the King. "I've already looked in there."

  "In the Queen's wardrobe?" suggested Bella.

  The Queen looked shocked. She was wearing her overalls. "Me? A red velvet gown? Never!"

  "Um," said Princess Fifi. "I just, um, borrowed it for a day or two."

  "You borrowed my best velvet gown?" cried the King.

  "To go skating in. It's a bit long, but it's nice and soft," said Fifi. "It stops me getting bruises when I fall over."

  "You fell over?" shrieked the King.

  "It's all right," said Fifi. "I didn't hurt myself."

  "But what about my gown?" groaned the King.

  Fifi shrugged. "It's only a little bit muddy."

  Bella went to Fifi's room to find the gown. It was under Fifi's bed with her roller-skates wrapped up in it. It was covered in thick, black mud.

  When the King saw it, he was furious.

  "Get that gown clean by tomorrow!" he roared at Bella.

  "It won't be easy," Bella said.

  "Why not? It's your job to clean things. Go and sort it out!"

  So Bella went off to the kitchen to wash the red velvet gown.

  It took her a long, long time. She had to wash it very carefully, so that the red dye would not come out.

  She could not scrub it in case she spoilt the velvet. She could n
ot use hot water in case she shrank it.

  And she could not squeeze the water out in case she creased it. So after she had washed the gown, she hung it in the courtyard to dry.

  The red velvet gown drooped and dripped. There was no wind. There was no sun.

  "This gown will never get dry!" said Bella, feeling very worried.

  "I know what to do," said Jack, the servant-boy. "Let's use the dragon! It can breathe hot air at the gown to dry it."

  He ran to fetch the sleepy dragon from the cupboard under the stairs. They kept it there for lighting the fires in the castle. Although it was only a small dragon, it was very good at breathing fire.

  They aimed the dragon at the gown and prodded it until it puffed out yellow flames. The velvet gown began to steam. Then it began to smoke.

  "Stop, stop!" cried Bella. "The dragon will burn the gown!"

  "Bother," said Jack. "I'll go and find the wizard. Maybe he can do a spell."

  He took the dragon back to its cupboard. Then he ran to the tallest tower, where Wizard Watchit lived with the ghost.

  "Wizard!" he shouted. "Magic needed!"

  When the Wizard came down from his tower, Bella explained the problem.

  "We need to dry the King's red gown," she said. "Please can you do a spell to make the sun shine and the wind blow?"

  The Wizard scratched his head. "Tricky," he said. "I can't put a spell on the sun: it's much too big and much too far away."

  "Well, what about the wind?" asked Jack.

  "That's almost as hard," said Wizard Watchit. "Why does the King need his red gown for this party anyway? He could wear his purple one instead."

  "You can tell him that," said Bella. "I'm not."

  "All right. I will!" declared the Wizard.

  He marched into the palace. The King was in the parlour with a cup of tea.

  "What do you want?" snapped the King. "I'm doing some very important work."

  "Drinking tea?"

  "I'm planning! I'm deciding how to impress the other kings at the party."

  "Oh, yes, the party," said the Wizard. "Why don't you wear your nice purple gown to it?"

  The King looked annoyed. "I wore my purple gown to the last party! They've all seen it! I want to wear my new red gown."

  "I'm afraid it won't be dry in time," said Wizard Watchit.

  The King stamped his foot. "Then you'd better make it dry! Just do some magic!"

  "But-"

  "How hard can it be to dry a gown?" the King demanded. "What a big fuss about nothing! You're making a storm in a teacup. Now go and sort it out!"

  The Wizard left. He felt quite upset.

  "The King knows nothing about magic," he fumed. "He doesn't know how hard it is to change the weather. A storm in a tea-cup indeed!"

  That gave him an idea. He peered back into the room, where the King was finishing his cup of tea.

  "I'll give him a storm in a teacup," said the Wizard to himself. "I'll show him who's making a big fuss about nothing!"

  He muttered a spell under his breath, and stamped away.

  In the parlour, the teacup began to shake in the King's hand. He stared down at it in surprise.

  Tea-leaves were swirling round and round inside the cup. It looked as if there was a little whirlwind in there.

  "Aargh!" said the King. "What's that?" Holding the teacup at arm's length, he ran into the next room.

  The next room was the royal bathroom. The Queen was lying under the basin with a bucket. She was mending a pipe.

  "Help!" cried the King, and he threw the teacup into her bucket.

  The teacup broke. Immediately the tiny whirlwind grew to fill the bucket.

  The Queen jumped up. "My goodness!" she exclaimed. "What's that?"

  "I've no idea!" yelped the King. "Make it go away!"

  So the Queen picked up the bucket and threw it into the bath.

  The bucket tipped over. At once the bath was full of swirling, whirling wind. The tiny storm grew to fill the tub. It made a humming sound, like a bath-tub full of bees.

  "Get rid of it!" howled the King.

  "Don't worry," said the Queen. "I'll send it down the plughole."

  She pulled out the plug. With a gurgle, the storm was sucked down the plughole and into the drain. They watched it spiral down until nothing was left.

  "No problem!" said the Queen.