Tonight or Never

  He had seen other women, narrower of waist, perhaps, and longer of limb, but none had ever come close to comparing in his eyes.

  Chloe had always been perfect to him.

  Now more so.

  Placing one knee up on the bed, he leaned over her and wrapped a tendril of the red hair around his wrist over and over. With her securely fastened, he came over her.

  For some reason, Chloe was more nervous than she was the first time. This time John was going to make love to her. Completely. She could see the resolution on his face.

  Even though she wanted him, what they had done before had been very painful. While he had been examining her, she had been investigating him as well, and it seemed to her that he was very… large. So it was bound to hurt again.

  She wasn't sure she was ready for that on top of everything else she had experienced this evening.

  Some of her apprehension must have shown, for his hand cradled her cheek. His thumb brushed across her full lips.

  Thick black lashes shielded his eyes as he watched his own stroking actions and the play of her full bottom lip under his thumb.

  A small tremor shook him, but Chloe felt it.

  He raised his eyes to her; they were kindling with emerald fire. His voice was very raw and very determined.

  "I'm going to give you so much pleasure…"

  Chapter Six

  The Players Engage

  He was caught in a sensual spell.

  When he came over her, the thin chain around his neck dangled in front of her face.

  Chloe glanced at the small charm, then gasped in shock. It was a carrot. Her carrot. "You—you kept it!"

  John arrested his motion, seemingly surprised by her discovery. Either he didn't think she would remember or he had been wearing the charm for so long that he hadn't thought to remove it.

  He didn't answer her. Cheekbones turning a dull bronze, he looked away, a muscle working in his jaw. He appeared self-conscious. As if someone had found out something about him he didn't want known.

  The charm! She remembered the day he had given it to her. It was her thirteenth birthday. There were many reasons why she had never forgotten that day.

  Every year since she was six, John had given her a little golden charm to add to the bracelet she wore. Each charm had a special significance known only to the two of them, for the charms represented his pet names for her. There was a kitten for "Chloe-cat." A bear cub for "Chloe-cub." A parakeet for "Chloe-keet." A monkey for "Chloe-monkey." A bunny for "Chloe-rabbit." And a baby elephant for "Chloe-phant."

  That year he had given her the carrot.

  The carrot charm alluded to her hair color; John loved to tease her by calling her "Carrot-top" or "Chloe-carrot," or just plain "Carrot." He knew it really got under her skin, so naturally he used the carrot nicknames the most.

  Later that day she had climbed a tree to spy on John and the Lady Mirot, who were ensconced on a bench in a secluded part of the garden. Chloe had noticed them giving peculiar looks to each other during luncheon and she wanted to see what it was all about.

  She soon found out.

  Lord Sexton and the lady in question were locked in an amorous embrace, John's hands reaching down the woman's bodice.

  A deep, horrible pain had sliced into her heart and she felt as if she couldn't breathe. Up until that point, she had assumed that John was hers alone; she knew nothing of his ways with women.

  It was the first time in her young life that she was confronted with inconstancy, and she had felt betrayed.

  Too young to understand, she had climbed down the tree to face him in her rage. Chloe had never been shy about letting her opinions be known.

  When he spotted her out of the corner of his eye, hanging from a branch preparing to jump down, he was both furious at her invading his privacy and concerned for her safety. He released the woman from his hold, yelling out Chloe's name in angry offense.

  Chloe released the branch, falling to the ground. He immediately ran to her to see if she was unharmed, but she quickly backed away from him in disgust. Her action affected him deeply; Chloe had never turned from him before. To cover his own uncertainty, he lashed out at her.

  "I am a man—what did you expect?" But he wouldn't look her in the eye.

  Tears rolled down her face. "I hate you!"

  John was visibly distressed. He reached toward her with a supplicating hand. "This has nothing to do with us, Carrot."

  That had hurt the most. She had taken the charm and yanked it off her bracelet, tossing it to his feet on the grass. Then she had turned and fled. He had repeatedly called her name but she wouldn't answer him. It was months before she spoke to him again. By that time she knew all about his proclivities, and their relationship was never the way it had been before. They were still close, in some ways closer, but a barrier had been crossed, a new level reached.

  He never called her Carrot again.

  Yet he kept the ornament.

  Chloe's hand captured the tiny charm. Once again tears filled her eyes, although for a different reason this time. John had kept the carrot. He apparently wore it around his neck always. The chivalrous deed spoke volumes to her.

  She felt John's hand cover hers.

  Instead of moving her hand away as he always did with the women who touched the piece, John laced his fingers around hers, capturing the gold carrot and her hand securely within his grasp.

  The simple, tender action affected Chloe deeply. Her arm curled around his neck into his silky hair.

  Closing her eyes, she raised her lips and kissed him affectionately.

  John sighed into her mouth.

  It was then that Chloe realized he had been holding his breath, awaiting her reaction. She gave herself a mental shake. For all his experience, how much did he really know about a woman's heart?

  In response, she embraced him to her, her hands clasping his strong shoulders.

  He entered her. Marginally.

  Chloe could feel the tremors flowing through that part of him as he hesitated just barely inside her.

  "I don't want to hurt you, sweet," he choked out, a wealth of hidden meaning in his heartfelt utterance.

  "You won't, John. Not ever again."

  And he wouldn't. Not in any way that mattered. There was not a doubt in Chloe's mind that she had done the right thing.

  For both of them.

  With her revelation, her apprehension melted away. John seemed to sense the change in her; he placed a soft kiss on the swell of her breast.

  A puff of air escaped Chloe's parted lips at the touch of his mouth on so intimate a place.

  He raised his face and caught her surprise, the corners of his sensuous mouth curving slightly at the innocent sound of pleasure.

  "Has no one kissed you here, Chloe?" His silken lips drifted across the satiny skin of her breast, taking small nibbles as he went.

  "N-no." She inhaled a shaky breath.

  "Or here?" The tip of his tongue flicked teasingly across the peak. The stimulating action caused the small pink nub to harden and protrude.

  "No." She gasped, amazed at the response of her own body. Like a flower blooming just for him, the bud seemed to reach for his mouth.

  "Then I don't suppose you've ever felt this either." He captured the delicate bud between his lips and drew it into his mouth.

  Chloe moaned at the exquisite sensation. A line of fire snaked from the point where he touched her to the very core of her being. "John . . ."

  "Mmm…" His agile tongue flicked the nubbin in his mouth as he continued to suckle her. Chloe had never in her life felt anything as pleasing as this. She deemed it only right to let John know her opinion.

  "This is quite fascinating; I rather think this is a very good thing to do, John."

  He blinked. This was definitely Chloe speaking. No other woman he knew would take the time out of reality to reflect on the aspects of the situation. He chuckled. Telling him her viewpoint about the facets of lovemaking
as if it were a regular debate topic brought up for discussion and not a physical act!

  Amused, he continued to draw on her, catching the sweet tip between his white teeth to tug softly. Her honey moistened the head of his manhood.

  He pressed into her slightly.

  Chloe shivered. He was coming inside her, joining them together. As one. She inhaled shakily. Yes, yes…

  It was his eyes she watched—they were hazy, clouded with his passion. She couldn't seem to stop staring at those bottomless green eyes.

  When she shivered, an intense corresponding response reverberated through John. He lifted himself over her, while still keeping them joined. He knew she watched him—he looked right in her eyes.

  And bore down.

  Even though her moisture eased his way somewhat, she was still narrow and very tight. Virgin tight. He was not able simply to slide into her; the passage needed widening, especially to accommodate someone his size.

  Despite her resolve not to, Chloe cried out. She closed her eyes, turning her face away from him, the ramming pressure seeming too potent, too unyielding to bear.

  "Look at me."

  She drew in a tremulous wisp of air, not daring to move or breathe.

  "Look at me, my lady."

  Her eyes flew open. She stared at him, questioning.

  Never breaking eye contact with her, he lowered his mouth to hers and drove into her. Chloe moaned against his mouth as he breached her completely, truly joining them.

  John captured her exclamation, swallowing it inside him. A rough roll of satisfaction purred in his throat. Not once in his entire life had anything ever felt like this.

  "Chloe." He spoke softly, shaken as much as she.

  How long they stayed like that—quiescent, joined together—neither knew. After a time, Chloe felt John nuzzle the sensitive area of her throat below her ear.

  "Wrap your legs around me."

  Chloe did as he asked, delighted to discover that the sensation intensified. "Like this?"

  "Yes… a little higher—near my waist." His tongue swirled around the perimeter of her ear, the tip teasing the canal.

  "Oh! That's—"

  "Mmm-hmm. We're just beginning, sweet." Carefully he began to move in her, small, shallow thrusts designed to please her without giving discomfort.

  "I… I…"She attempted to let him know her opinion on this as well.

  "Shh. Just experience it, Chloe." He stroked a little deeper.

  A tiny sound escaped her lips.

  "I know," he murmured huskily, his own breath racing.

  Cognizant of her untried state, he valiantly attempted to control his motions by regulating the depth and strength of his thrusts. It was not an easy thing to do; every time he sank into her he almost lost all restraint.

  Her pure, virginal responses to his lovemaking, however, reminded him to tread cautiously.

  Forehead dotted with moisture, he maintained his steady, sure rhythm.

  Chloe wiggled beneath him, not knowing what she wanted exactly, but realizing it was something more.

  John groaned. If she kept moving like that, there was no way he could hold back. "Chloe, you—"

  "I never realized you would be so hard, John."

  "Oh, God." Restraint be damned!

  "Did I say something wro—"

  His mouth fused over hers and he thrust into her with a man's power. Over and over.

  At first Chloe was stunned, but soon she was matching him move for move. "Wha-what comes next?" she asked, panting.

  Her question, occurring at the most awkward time, well-nigh might have unmanned a lesser gent. The Lord of Sex grinned as he took her mouth again.

  "This." He drove into her, rotating his hips in a side-to-side motion as he captured the rosy peak of her breast in his mouth and suckled hard.

  Chloe cried out, this time in acute pleasure, as wave upon wave of joyous satisfaction tumbled through her. Clinging to him in her completion, she wrapped her arms around him, bringing him into her as tightly as she could.

  John, breathing raggedly, felt his own release coming. It churned up from deep inside him, finding its way home in Chloe.

  It was powerful and untamed, and erupted from him like pressure kept too long contained. He too hugged her to him in a firm embrace, whispering her name again and again as he flowed into her.

  Several minutes later John still lay inside her, his face burrowed into her flower-scented neck as he tried to regain his composure.

  What had happened to him? It was her first time, but he felt like the one taken.

  For once, there had been nothing missing.

  Nothing at all.

  Furthermore, he was surprised to see he was nibbling the curve of her neck where it met her shoulder like a man reluctant to leave the dinner table.

  Like a man preparing for a second helping.

  He had to force himself to roll off of her. She was tender and, he knew for a fact, sore. Until she got used to him he would have to be very careful with her. After all, this had been her first time.

  There had been anger at what she had done; but, oddly, there was relief as well. She had been untouched. He could not deny the feeling of elation that accompanied his discovery.

  Her first time. A fragment of disturbing memory came to the surface. Sitting back against the headboard, he draped his arm over his bent knee, his thoughts going in a surprising direction.

  Chloe turned the bedside lamp down, then lay on her side by her husband. Moonlight illuminated his handsome profile, and he seemed to be deep in thought. She still hadn't regained her composure after the incredible experience he had given her. If she dwelled on it, she would want to begin anew, and she wasn't sure she was ready for that.

  A tiny furrow grooved the center of his normally smooth forehead. Chloe wondered what he was thinking about that had put so contemplative an expression on his face.

  His voice broke through the sudden stillness in the room. He spoke in a monotone, as if his emotions had disengaged themselves from what he was about to say.

  "I was twelve years old… big for my age… A vicar's wife told me to come inside, that she would give me something to eat." He paused significantly.

  "I was starving, you see. Afterward, she gave me a piece of moldy bread and sour broth. I ran into her stable and cried."

  Chloe watched him silently, stunned by what she was hearing. John never revealed to anyone what had happened to him those years he was forced to fend for himself.

  Now she had a fairly good idea what must have transpired. At sixteen, he had been extraordinarily handsome; at twenty-nine, he was breathtaking. Even at so young an age as twelve, his good looks must have been apparent. How he had survived became apparent as well. It explained a lot to her.

  Her spirits sank a little. This is going to take time. More time than she had thought. She hadn't known that about him.

  Chloe saw the young viscount as he must have been—scared, alone, hungry; her heart cried out for him. John.

  As if he heard her silent call, he turned to her.

  "So you see, Chloe, first times are very important. We never seem to forget them."

  She reached over to touch his forearm. "Then that's good, because you have given me a beautiful memory that I shall always treasure."

  He smiled faintly at her. "Have I?"

  "Oh, yes. I hope your memories of our first time together are the same."

  "Yes…" His eyes held a lambent shine. "An incredible memory, Carrot." He teased her with the reference. She blushed prettily.

  "Let it supplant that other memory, Lord Sexton." She notched her chin in the air. Her tone challenged him to do just that.

  He laughed. "Consider it done, madam." His hand cupped the side of her head, his fingers lacing through her hair. "For that I thank you, Lady Sexton." His lips brushed her mouth.

  Lady Sexton. The name had a very nice "ring" to it. Feeling the weight of the gorgeous emerald he had given her, Chloe smiled at her
accidental double entendre.

  Chloe's arms twined around his strong neck as she leaned into the kiss, giving it depth. Should she live to be a hundred, she doubted she would take his kisses for granted. They were simply too special. Evocative and alluring, they seemed to satisfy while beckoning for more.

  It was an expertise Chloe doubted could be learned.

  This is John.

  No wonder the women of the ton found him so irresistible. One taste and she was craving more. Delectable… so very luscious.

  While she cataloged his attributes, the edge of her little finger skimmed along his earlobe.

  She blinked.

  His lobe was so incredibly soft—like downy velvet. What a fabulous discovery! She immediately began to nibble at his ear.

  "Chloe, stop! We need to be—"

  "No, really, John, I need to check something here."

  He chuckled, but when she stopped nibbling to tease his ear with the tip of her tongue, he put a stop to her play by pulling back.

  "I'm serious; I don't want to injure you. We need to rest. You need to rest."

  "If you insist." She sighed mournfully.

  "I do." He kissed the top of her head. "I want you well rested for what I have in mind for tomorrow."

  "If you insist," she repeated in a dull voice, exhaling a gust of air. "We wouldn't want to have you overdo it your first day," she said grouchily.

  Smiling, he tugged playfully on her earlobe. "No, we wouldn't want that."

  "Very well." She sighed dramatically, snuggling in to go to sleep. "But I expect a better showing tomorrow."

  "Oh, you shall have it," he drawled sexily.

  "Promises, promises…"

  "Mmm." His broad palm cupped the back of her head as he gathered her closer in his embrace.

  "Although you do make a very nice pillow." She yawned.

  Already she sounded sleepy; he was glad he had called a halt. Well, not all of him was glad. He shifted his position slightly, trying to relieve a burdensome pressure.

  It wasn't very long before gentle puffs of air drifted across his chest. She was fast asleep. He looked down at her lying in his arms. Sweet, sweet Chloe. How had he ever deserved this?

  When he had discovered she hadn't been with another man, he had felt something close to gratitude well up in him. He had no right having such feelings. Not with his past.