The Cubs and Other Stories

  And meanwhile he began going to parties again and, as if to erase the bad reputation he had earned with his rock ’n’ roll antics and to win over the parents, he behaved himself like a model guest at birthdays and barbecues: he came on time and without any drinks in him, a little gift in his hand, Chabuquita, for you, happy birthday, and these flowers for your mom, listen, did Terry get here? He danced very stiffly, very properly, you look like an old man, he didn’t mash his partner, c’mon cutie let’s dance to the wallflowers, and he talked with the mothers, the fathers, and he looked after may I help you ma’am the aunts, can I pass you a little fruit juice? the uncles a drink? gallant, how beautiful your necklace is, how your ring shines, talkative, did you go the races, sir, when is your horse coming in first? and flattering, you’re the life of the party, ma’am, you should teach him to dip like that, Joaquin, what he’d give to dance like that.

  When we were talking, sitting on a bench in the park, and Terry Arrarte came close, at a table in the Tasty Cream, Cuéllar would change, or in the neighborhood the conversation: he wants to wow her, they said, pass himself off as a brain, he milks her for admiration. He talked about strange and difficult things: religion (being immortal, could God, who was all-powerful, kill Himself? let’s see, which one of us solved the puzzle), politics (Hitler wasn’t as crazy as they said, in just a few short years he turned Germany into a country that bullied everybody, didn’t he? what did they think), spiritism (it wasn’t a matter of superstition but science, in France they had mediums at the university and they didn’t only summon up spirits, they also took pictures of them, he’d seen a book, Terry, if she wanted he’d get it and I’ll loan it to you). He announced that he was going to study: next year he’d enter Catholic U. and she leading him on that’s good, what career was he going to pursue? and put her small white hands over his eyes, he’d pursue law, her plump fingers and long nails, law? ugh, what a bore! painted with clear polish, growing sad, and he but not to become some shyster lawyer but to enter the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and become a diplomat, growing happy, little hands, eyes, eyelashes and he yes, the minister was a friend of his old man, he’d already talked to him, a diplomat? tiny mouth, oh, how nice! and he, burning up, dying, of course, you got around a lot, and she that too and besides you spent your life at parties: blinking tiny eyes.

  Love works miracles, said Kitty, how serious he’s gotten, what a regular gentleman. And China: but it was the strangest sort of love, if he was so taken with Terry why didn’t he ask her to go steady once and for all? and Chabuca exactly, what was he waiting for? he’s been chasing her for more than two months now and till now a lot of talk and no action, what kind of a love affair’s that? The guys, among themselves, do they know or are they playing dumb? but in front of the girls we stood up for him by covering up: slow and steady wins the race, girls. It’s a matter of pride, said Chingolo, he doesn’t want to take any chances till he’s sure she’ll say yes. But of course she was going to say yes, said Fina, didn’t she make eyes at him, look at Lalo and China so sweet on each other, and she dropped hints for him, what a good skater you are, how gorgeous your sweater is, how warm and she even declared herself to him playing, will you be my partner? That’s just why he’s suspicious, said Manny, with flirts like Terry you never knew, it seemed okay and then no. But Fina and Kitty no, not true, they’d asked her will you say yes to him? and she let them understand she would, and Chabuca didn’t she go out a lot with him, at parties didn’t she dance only with him, at the movies did she sit with anybody else? It’s clear as crystal: she’s crazy for him. And China really so much waiting for him to ask was going to wear her out, tell him right away and if he wanted an opportunity we’d arrange it for him, a little party for example on Saturday, they’d dance a little while, at my house or Chabuca’s or at Fina’s, we’d go out into the garden and they would leave the two alone, what more could he ask. And at the pool hall: they didn’t know, what babies, or what hypocrites, sure they know and they were playing dumb.

  Things can’t go on like this, Lalo said one day, she had him on a leash, P.P. was going to go crazy, he might even die of love, let’s do something, they sure, but what, and Manny find out if Terry’s really nuts over him or it’s just flirting. They went to her house, we asked her, but she was the smartest girl in the world, she runs rings around the four of us, they said. Cuéllar? sitting out on the balcony of her house, but you don’t call him Cuéllar but some nasty swear word, rocking herself so the light from the streetlamp would hit her legs, he’s dying for me? they weren’t bad, how did we know? And Choto don’t play dumb, she knew it and they did too and the girls and all Miraflores talked about it and she, all eyes, mouth, little nose, really? as if she were looking at a Martian: that’s the first I’ve heard about it. And Manny go on Terry, talk straight, out with it, didn’t she realize how he looked at her? And she oh, oh, oh, clapping, little hands, teeth, tiny shoes, we should look, a butterfly! we should run, catch it and bring it to her. He’d look at her, sure, but like a friend and, besides, how pretty, stroking its little wings, little fingers, nails, tiny voice, they killed it, poor thing, he never said anything to her. And they what a story, what a lie, he must’ve told you something, at least he’d have flirted with her and she no, honest, she’d dig a little hole in her garden and bury it, a little lock of hair, her neck, her little ears, never, she swore to us. And Chingolo didn’t she even realize how he was chasing after her? and Terry he might follow her around as a friend, oh, oh, oh, tapping her shoes together, little fists, big doll eyes, it wasn’t dead, the faker, it flew away, waist and small tits, well, if not, he’d at least held her hand, hadn’t he, or tried to anyway, right? there you are, right there, we should run, or he had expressed his love, right? and again we should catch it, it’s that he’s shy, said Lalo, hold it but be careful, you’re going to smudge, and he doesn’t know whether you’ll say yes, Terry, was she going to say yes? and she ahh, ahh, little wrinkles, little forehead, they killed it and mangled it, little dimples on her cheeks, little eyelashes, eyebrows, who? and we what do you mean who and she better get rid of it, the way it was, all mangled, why bother burying it: a little shrug. Cuéllar? and Manny yes, she went for him? she still didn’t know and Choto then you do like him, Terry, you really went for him, and she I didn’t say that, only that she didn’t know, she’d see if the occasion presented itself but it was sure not to and they sure it would. And Lalo did she think he was good-looking? and she Cuéllar? elbows, knees, yes, he was sort of good-looking, wasn’t he? and we see, see how she liked him? and she I hadn’t said that, no, we shouldn’t trick her, look, the little butterfly sparkled among the geraniums in the garden or was it some other bug? the tip of her little toe, her foot, a tiny white heel. But why did he have that ugly nickname, we were very ill-mannered, why didn’t we call him something nice like we called Chicken, Bobby, Superman or Bunny Villaran and we she did like him, she did like him, did you see? she felt sorry for him on account of his nickname, so she did love him, Terry, and she loved? a little, eyes, a little burst of laughter, just as a friend, sure.

  She pretends she doesn’t, we said, but there’s no doubt she does: P.P. should ask her and that’ll be that, let’s talk to him. But it was hard and they didn’t dare.

  And as for Cuéllar, he didn’t make up his mind either: night and day he followed Terry Arrarte around, looking at her, doing favors for her, pampering her and in Miraflores those who didn’t know made fun of him, bed warmer they called him, what an act, skirt chaser and the girls sang to him “how much longer, how much longer” to embarrass and egg him on. Then, one night we took him to the Barranco movie house and, as we were leaving, man, let’s go to the Horseshoe in your mighty Ford and he okay, they’d have a few beers and play pinbali, fine. We went in his mighty Ford, roaring, screeching around corners and at the Chorrillos breakwater a cop stopped them, we were going over eighty? sir, officer, don’t be that way, no reason to be tough, and he asked us for our driver’s license and the
y had to give him a couple of bucks, sir? have a few whiskeys on us, officer, there’s no reason to be tough, and at Horseshoe beach they got out and sat down at a table in the National: what a dog show, man, but that half-breed wasn’t bad and how they danced, it was better than the circus. We had a couple of beers and they still didn’t dare, four and still nothing, six and Lalo started in. I’m your friend, P.P., and he laughed drunk already? and Manny we really like you a lot, man, and he yeah? laughing, an affection binge for you too? and Chingolo they wanted to talk to him, man, and also give him some advice. Cuéllar changed, grew pale, offered a toast, nice couple over there, huh? him a little runt and she a monkey, right? and Lalo why hide it, pal, you’re dying for Terry aren’t you? and he coughed, sneezed and Manny, P.P., level with us, yes or no? and he laughed, so sad and trembling, he almost couldn’t be heard: h-h-he was d-d-d-ying, y-y-yes. Two more beers and Cuéllar didn’t know wh-wh-what he was going to do, Choto, what could he do? and he ask her and he it’s out of the question, Chingolito, how am I going to ask and he by asking her, pal, telling her you love her, then, she’s going to say yes to you. And he it wasn’t on account of that, Manny, she could say yes to him but, what about afterwards? He drank his beer and he was losing his voice and Lalo afterwards will be afterwards, ask her now and that’ll be that, maybe he would be cured after a while and he, Chotito, and if Terry knew, if somebody had told her? and they she didn’t know, we already made her admit, she’s dying for you and he got his voice back, she’s dying for me? and we yeah, and he sure maybe sometime I can get cured, did we think so? and they yeah, yeah, P.P., and anyway you can’t go on like this, growing bitter, getting thinner, wasting away: he should ask her right away. And Lalo how could he doubt it? He’d ask her, he’d have a girlfriend and he what would I do? and Choto he’d make out and Manny he’d hold her hand and Chingolo he’d kiss her and Lalo he’d fool around with her a little and he and afterwards? and he was losing his voice and they afterwards? and he afterwards, when they had grown up and you get married, and he and you and Lalo: how dumb, how can you think about that now, and besides that’s the least of it. One day he’d ditch her, he’d start an argument for no reason at all and he’d fight and so everything would be taken care of and he, wanting and not wanting to speak: that was just what he didn’t want, because, because he loved her. But a little later—up to ten beers now—guys, we were right, it was the best way: I’ll ask her to go steady, I’ll stay with her awhile and I’ll ditch her.

  But the weeks rushed by and we when, P.P., and he tomorrow, he hadn’t made up his mind, he’d ask her tomorrow, honest, suffering as they never saw him suffer before or after, and the girls “You’re wasting time, thinking, thinking,” singing the ballad to him “Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.” Then the crisis began for him: all of a sudden he threw the cue stick down on the floor at the pool hall, ask her, man! and he started swearing at the bottles or the cigarette butts, and he tried to pick a fight with anybody or he burst into tears, tomorrow, this time it was the truth, on his mother’s honor he would: I’ll tell her I love her or I’ll kill myself. “And so the days go passing by, and you despairing…” and he would leave the matinee and start to walk, to trot down Larco Avenue, leave me alone, like a horse gone crazy, and they behind, go away, he wanted to be alone, and we ask her, P.P., stop suffering, ask her, ask her, “Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.” Or he went to the Indian Messenger and drank, what hatred he felt, Lalo, until he got drunk, what awful pain. Chotito, and they would accompany him, I feel like killing, man! and we’d half carry him up to the door of his house, P.P., make up your mind right now, ask her, and the girls morning and night “For what you want most, how much longer, how much longer.” They’re making his life impossible, we said, he’ll end up a drunk, outlaw, madman.

  So the winter ended, another summer began and along with the sun and the heat a boy who studied architecture came to Miraflores from St. Isidor, he had a Pontiac and was a swimmer: Butch Arnilla. He joined the group and at first the guys didn’t take to him and the girls what are you doing around here, who invited you, but Terry leave him alone, little white blouse, stop needling him, Butch sit down alongside me, little sailor’s hat, blue jeans, I invited him. And they, man, didn’t he have eyes in his head? and he sure, he’s horning in on your territory, dummy, he’s going to take her away from you, get going or your goose’ll be cooked, and he so what if he takes her away? and we doesn’t matter to you anymore? and he wh-wh-why w-w-would it m-m-matter and they he didn’t like her anymore? wh-wh-why w-w-would he l-l-like her.

  Butch asked Terry to go steady toward the end of January and she said yes: poor P.P., we said, what a rotten break and about Terry what a flirt, what a bitch, what a dirty trick she played on him. But now the girls stuck up for her: nice work, who was to blame but him, and Chabuca how long was poor Terry going to wait for him to make up his mind? and China what do you mean dirty trick, just the opposite, he played a dirty trick on her, he had her wasting her time for so long and Kitty besides Butch was really friendly, Fina and nice and cute and Chabuca and Cuéllar a scaredy-cat and China a queer.

  5.

  Then P.P. Cuéllar went back to his old tricks. How crazy, said Lalo, he went surfing during Holy Week? And Chingolo: not just in waves, in mountains of water fifteen feet tall, man, that tall, thirty feet tall. And Choto: they made a terrible racket, they reached up to the awnings, and Chabuca farther, to the top of the breakwater, they splashed the cars on the highway and, of course, nobody was in the water. Had he done it so Terry Arrarte would see him? yeah, to make her boyfriend look bad? yeah. For sure, like telling Terry look what I dare to do and Butch zero, and he was supposed to be such a great swimmer? he wades along the shoreline like the women and kids, look who you’ve lost, terrific.

  Why would the water get so rough during Holy Week? Fina said, and China in anger because the Jews killed Christ, and Choto had the Jews killed him? he thought it was the Romans, how dumb. We were sitting on the breakwater, Fina, in bathing suits, Choto, bare legs, Manny, the walls of water were crashing, China, and they came right up and wet our feet, Chabuca, how cold it was, Kitty, and how dirty, Chingolo, the water black and the foam brown, Terry, full of seaweed and jellyfish and Butch Arnilla, and just then psst psst, look, here came Cuéllar. Would he come over, Terry? would he pretend he didn’t see you? He parked his Ford in front of the Horseshoe jazz club, got out, went into the Seagulls and came out in bathing trunks—new ones, said Choto, yellow, Jantzens and Chingolo he even thought about that, he planned everything to draw attention, did you catch it, Lalo, a towel around his neck like a scarf, and sunglasses. He peered scornfully at the scared swimmers, huddled between the breakwater and the beach, and looked at the wild and furious walls of water that washed away the sand and he raised his hand, waved to us and came over. Hi Cuéllar, some disappointment, huh? hi, hi, a look like he didn’t get it, better if they’d gone swimming at the Regattas pool, wouldn’t it? what’s new, a look asking why, how’re you? And finally a look of on account of the big waves? no, how could you think that! what was wrong with them, what was the matter with us (Kitty: what goes up’s gotta come down, ha ha), if the water was perfect this way, Terry, little eyes, was he serious? sure, great even for surfing, he was joking, right? little hands and Butch he’d dare to ride them? sure, body surfing or with a board, didn’t we believe him? no, that was what we were laughing about? they were scared? really? and Terry he wasn’t? no, he was going in? yeah, he was going surfing? sure: yelps. And they saw him throw off his towel, look at Terry Arrarte (she must have blushed, right? said Lalo, and Choto no, what was she supposed to do, and Butch? yeah, he shook like a leaf and run down the steps of the breakwater and dive into the water head over heels. And we saw him cut through the undertow along the shoreline and reach the surf quick as one, two, three. A wave built up and he dived under and then came up and dived in and came up, what was he like? a little fish, a porpoise, a yelp, where was he? another, look at him, part of an arm, there
, there. And they saw him swim out, disappear, appear and grow smaller until he got out where the breakers started, Lalo, what breakers: huge, shaking, they rose and never fell, squirming, was he that little white spot? nerves, yeah. He went out, came back in, went back out, got lost in the foam and the waves and slipped back and pushed forward, what did he look like? a little duck, a little paper boat, and to see him better Terry stood up, Chabuca, Choto, everybody, even Butch, but when was he going to ride them? He delayed but he took heart at last. He turned around toward the beach and looked for us and waved to us and we waved hello to him, hello, little towel. He let one, two go by and with the third breaker they saw him, we imagined him stick his head under, push off with one arm to find the current, stiffen his body and kick. He caught it, spread his arms, rose up (a twenty-four-foot wave? asked Lalo, more, high as the roof? more, like Niagara Falls, then? more, much more) and he fell with the crest of the wave and the mountain of water swallowed him and the big wave appeared, did he get out, did he get out? and it came closer roaring like an airplane, vomiting foam, there, did they see him, was he there? and at last began to drop down, to lose strength and he appeared, so calm, and the wave gently carried him, covered with seaweed, how long he held out without breathing, what lungs, and beached him on the sand, terrific: he had us with our tongues hanging out, Lalo, with good reason, I mean. That was how it started all over again.