Shakespeare on the Roof

  ***

  Five: Bulls Eye

  We scrambled out of our hidey hole and a scene of utter beauty hit us. It was evening and the sun was glowing in reds, pinks and oranges into a rippling pattern of clouds, there were one or two great cumulous clouds that were whiter than white with a dark grey mass and slowly they turned orange.

  'Beautiful,' I said and stood next to Kashmere.

  'Yes, I reckon I'm getting it, it probably is beautiful,' she said. I moved closer to her but then remembered how last time I had ended up in the dirt so I stepped away.

  'Nice place for a picnic,' I said.

  'I wouldn't know, I've never been on a picnic.'

  'That's so sad, but come to think of it, you didn't miss much.'

  'Why?'

  'I never liked picnics,' I said.

  'We need to locate Spode.'

  'We used to have picnics at the beach when I was a kid, and I always got sand in my sandwiches.'

  'There's an underground bunker, a deserted fishing village, a helicopter pad, we have to search them all...you're not listening to me.'

  'Have you ever tried to eat sandwiches with sand in them, it's pretty disgusting, gritty ham sandwiches, not nice.'

  'Come on, let's move out,' she said and jumped up out of our hole. She skidded down the hill, through the pine forest, back the way we had come, I followed at a goodly distance to her rear, after all, it was her rear that I was supposed to be covering. We were armed with our captured AK47's and sniper rifles, you can never have too much artillery. Our liberated weapons, the AK47s, or Kalashnikovs as the inventor was called, are a gas operated, selective fire 7.62x39mm assault rifle developed in the Soviet Union by Michael Kalashnikov around about 1946 or so. It's the most widely used and popular assault rifle in the world, so I knew we could do some real damage with them. What actually happens is the AK47 spits out a lot of little lead projectiles and, if one hits you, it hurts like hell.

  As we came out of the woods we scanned the horizon for any sign of the Black Shirt terrorists, lying before us was an open scrubby plain with lots of inlets that cut into the shore, one of those very inlets we had arrived by earlier. Further along the scrubby plain there were a group of buildings and a helicopter pad.

  'Come on!' shouted Kashmere as at that moment a helicopter was approaching the island. It wasn't an attack helicopter but a transport helicopter, perhaps Singen Saracen-Spode was going to make a run for it in the helicopter. Although I'm not sure if you can make a run for it in a helicopter.

  'Are we headed for those buildings?' I shouted.

  'There's a bunker over there, we are going to blow our way in.'

  'Right, good idea, wouldn't it be better to let him make a run for it in the helicopter?'

  'We have to get our man. Orders.'

  'Yes I know all that but what if we just give him ten minutes?' I said. 'Let's be fair, give him a chance to get away.' We were running side by side now along an old goat track, Kashmere ran onto the helipad and pointed her gun up at the approaching chopper, someone inside it stuck an automatic rifle out of the side window, gunfire burst from the helicopter and bullets danced all around Kashmere but she stood her ground, pointed her gun and took aim. At that moment I noticed a Black Shirt, with the famous AK47 and the projectiles that hurt like hell, he was pointing his gun at Kashmere, she opened fire on the helicopter and the Black Shirt was about to open fire on her, I shot him in the legs, he went down but kept pointing his weapon, I reached him in two strides, took the gun from his hands, said thank you, it always pays to be polite, and added the AK47 to my growing collection. Self-propelled grenades were now being fired at Kashmere from the helicopter, they erupted around her, it was time to put an end to that as well. I took up my sniper rifle, aimed and shot six rounds into the helicopter. The machine began to spin out of control but the pilot fought for his life and he managed to take control again and the machine flew up and out of range.

  Kashmere ran on towards the buildings, oh my God, I thought, she's just asking for it. Rifle fire started to crack and snap at her, she took cover, pulled out a smoke grenade from her pack and threw it, the grenade exploded and the world disappeared in smog, Kashmere ran on firing.

  'Wait for me,' I shouted and ran after her charging through the smoke only to be confronted by a scene I did not want to see. On the ground was Kashmere, she was surrounded by Black Shirts pointing rifles at her and when I turned, pointing a gun at my head, was a big fat man in a bright red shirt.

  'Drop your weapons,' he said. I'm not good at amateur heroics so I dropped them.

  'That's him,' said Kashmere.

  'Singen Saracen-Spode at your service,' said the man. 'Welcome to my island, sorry I couldn't make you more at home.'

  'It was very short notice,' I said, 'sorry we can't stay.'

  'I'm glad you dropped in, from Australia I presume, welcome from an expat.'

  'That's very nice of you,' I said, 'pity we haven't got any time as I would love to sit down, crack open a coldie and share a yarn but no time, gotta go, nice meeting you all the same.'

  'You are very funny my friend,' said Spode, he stroked his cat, he had a cat curled up around his neck, a sort of white Persian Siamese thing. 'I need a few details about your mission. Why Australians were sent in instead of U.S. Special forces? What ships are out there in the Indian Ocean? Is there an American aircraft carrier? How many ships do the Americans have? We want to be prepared better next time, we have a battery of the latest Chinese made surface to surface missiles that will put a large hole in their fleet.'

  'I don't give a rat's arse what you need to know,' I said. 'I have come here to arrest you and take you to the international criminal court of justice.'

  'You are a joker my friend.'

  'You will have your day in court.'

  'Do you honestly think the Americans would let me speak out in a court of law?'

  'We will guarantee…'

  'You are a joke, the only guarantee I have is my guns and my hostages and my battery of surface to surface missiles.'

  'There are orders for you to be captured or killed and I intend carrying out those orders,' said Kashmere.

  'Shut up woman,' said Spode.

  'Make me,' said Kashmere.

  'Don't tempt me.'

  'Troglodyte.'

  'I beg your pardon.'

  'Intellectual dwarf!'

  'What is she talking about please,' Spode addressed his comment to me.

  'Most of the time I've got no idea,' I said.

  'Barking Jackass!'

  'She reminds me very much of an annoying mosquito that needs to be squashed,' said Spode aiming his gun at Kashmere.

  At this stage in the proceedings everything became confused. I moved to stop Spode from firing at Kashmere, he pointed his gun at me, I knocked it out of his hand, Black Shirts tried to intervene, I held the gun to Spode's head and told them to drop their weapons and drop to the ground or I would shoot Spode. Kashmere was up collecting weapons, Black Shirts were lying on the ground, I didn't see who fired but a single shot rang out and Spode dropped down with a very precisely made hole in the middle of his forehead. The Black Shirts jumped up and ran for it, dissolving into the background.

  'You didn't have to do that,' I said to Kashmere, she just stood with an AK47 in her hand. 'He was my prisoner.'

  'He was a ruthless murderer.'

  'I've said this before and I'll say it again, I'm not sure if I like you, in fact I think I could really get to hate you.'

  'Well, the feeling's more than mutual.'

  'Any time you want to take my life in your hands count me out, I like to have a better than one in a hundred chance of not getting my head blown off,' I said, 'and if I take a prisoner, he's my prisoner.'

  'He was trash, he was a cold blooded murderer, no need to argue about him,' said Kashmere. We stood eyeballing each other when there was a burst of automatic rifle fire and Kashmere fell to the ground. I tried to do all I could for her but it wa
s hard to stop the bleeding. A helicopter arrived, thankfully this one had a red cross painted on it, paramedics pushed me aside and winched Kashmere to safety. I was winched to safety too but I was winched to a different safety and didn't see Kashmere again but I did have a bullet ridden Complete Works of William Shakespeare for company.