Awake at Dawn

Chapter Ten

  "What are you doing here?" Kylie asked.

  His tall masculine figure kept moving toward her and Kylie actually took a step back. She wasn't so much frightened as she was surprised. And perhaps still awestruck at everything she felt. The whole reverent ambience felt even stronger in here.

  "Probably the same thing you're doing here," Burnett answered.

  "Curiosity. "

  It wasn't her reason. She'd come for help, but she didn't correct him-and not because she didn't trust him. She met his gaze. If she were being completely honest with herself, she knew she hadn't gotten over being intimidated by him, but she'd grown to respect him as had most everyone else in the camp. She respected him enough that she wished Holiday would reconsider her no-vamp rule where men were concerned.

  The two of them would make a great couple. His dark side to her light. His seriousness to her teasing manner.

  She felt him watching her and knew he was expecting an answer.

  But she had her own questions. She took a deep breath. "Curious about what?" she asked.

  "The whole ghosts thing. The legend. " He tucked his hands into his jean pockets and looked around.

  "That's strange," Kylie said.

  "What's strange?" He turned and looked back at the cave as if checking his surroundings for safety. Oddly enough, Kylie wasn't worried about her own. The warm, good feeling filling her chest convinced her not to worry. She was safe here.

  "Your being curious about ghosts. I thought . . . I mean . . . most supernaturals prefer to sort of stay in the dark about it all. "

  "Yeah, but Holiday's so fixated on them, I just thought. . . " His words faltered. "That maybe understanding ghosts would help you understand her?"

  Kylie asked, somehow certain that she'd read him right. Again, she got a feeling that Burnett really cared about Holiday.

  He nodded as if admitting it out loud might ding his macho ego. "Personally, I think she talks about it so much just to scare me. "

  "Probably hoping to scare you off. " Kylie bit her lip when she realized she'd said that aloud.

  He looked at her. "That, too. " He paused a few seconds and then asked, "You wouldn't be willing to enlighten me on any of the reasons why she'd be doing that, would you?" Apparently he'd decided his macho ego could be damned.

  Okay, now Kylie was up crap creek without a paddle and a huge leak in her canoe. Telling Burnett about Holiday's past felt almost like betrayal.

  "I . . . uh . . . I. . . "

  He held up his hand. "Say no more. I get it. " Shuffling his feet, he looked around again and then focused back at her. "So you're like Holiday, right? You feel spirits, and see them?"

  She nodded.

  "Do you feel the death angels?"

  She started to deny that she sensed a strong presence of someone or someones, but considering the whole church-like ambience, she decided against lying. "I feel something. Don't know exactly how to describe it. It's like-"

  "Really?" he asked.

  "Really. " She looked around and wondered if whatever she felt would give her the answers she needed. "You don't feel anything?"

  "If I did, I wouldn't be here now. " He chuckled, but Kylie could swear she heard a tad of nervousness in his tone.

  "Doesn't the legend say that they come here at dusk?" He ran his hand through his dark hair that looked a shade darker than normal. Her gaze went back to the falls and she realized his hair was wet. She felt her own hair then, hanging damp on her shoulders and shifting back and forth on her back.

  He took a few steps closer to one of the large boulders. His shoulders and arms shifted with corded muscle and appeared almost as hard as the rock walls. Once again, Kylie couldn't help but admire how attractive he was. Not that he made her body tingle the way Derek did, but she could appreciate the way he was put together. Holiday really should let herself fall for him.

  "It says you can see them dancing on the walls at dusk. It doesn't mean they're not here at other times," Kylie answered honestly, hoping she was right. Hoping the presence she felt here was real and could give her answers.

  He nodded and looked around again. "Why is it that the place wasn't so scary until you showed up?"

  Kylie laughed. "It must be my magnetic personality. "

  He smiled. "Probably. You and Holiday. " Just the way he said Holiday's name tugged at Kylie's heartstrings.

  "It was another vampire," Kylie blurted out. "He hurt her a lot. "

  Burnett looked confused for a second, and then understanding filled his eyes. "So she's prejudiced against all vampires?" He sounded hurt. "I would call it protective," she said. "And not all vampires. She doesn't seem to have a problem with any vampire but you. "

  He tilted his head to the side and looked at her. "You say that as if it's a good thing. "

  "It might be," Kylie said. "There has to be a reason you get on her bad side so quickly. "

  He seemed to consider her analogy. "I see what you mean. " His gaze shifted to the wall of water again. "Why don't I walk back to the camp with you? Make sure-"

  "Actually, I was hoping to stay here for a few minutes. Alone," she said before he offered to stay with her.

  A frown pulled at his mouth. "I'm not sure you should be alone in the woods. Not after what happened the other night. "

  "I'm not alone," Kylie said. "Della and Miranda are right outside, waiting on me. "

  She thought he was going to say something completely macho, like tell her she should have brought a boy with her.

  Instead he said, "Okay. Good. "

  Yeah, good, Kylie thought. Della would have had a conniption fit if she knew he considered her less capable than the opposite sex.

  He tilted his head to the side as if to listen. "That's really strange. I can't hear them. Or smell them in here. " His brow creased. "Then again, I didn't hear you until you spoke. " His gaze cut around their surroundings.

  "Maybe this place is haunted. " A grin pulled at his mouth. "And on that note, I think I'll head back to the camp. " He took two steps and then turned back. "Don't be long. And make sure you guys stay together. "

  "Got it," she said.

  He nodded and again tilted his head to the side and studied her. "Are you okay? Your heart . . . it's beating really fast. "

  She shuffled her wet tennis shoes on the rock. "Della said the same thing. I think I'm okay," Kylie said, not wanting to share her recent and unexpected all-natural but definitely not human boob job.

  He studied her for a few minutes and Kylie got the craziest feeling he'd noticed more than her heartbeat, but he was careful not to make her feel uncomfortable. She appreciated that.

  He started to walk out and then turned around. "Thank you for-"

  "You're welcome," she said, not wanting to hear or think about how angry Holiday would be when she found out Kylie had told Burnett even the least bit about her past. And Holiday would find out, because Kylie had every intention of telling her. Keeping it a secret would make it feel like even more of a sin. And right now, right here, she especially didn't want to up her quotient of sins.

  Five minutes after Burnett left, Kylie stood in the same spot. "Look, I got a ghost who is saying someone I love is going to die. I'm supposed to save this person, but the ghost isn't giving me a lot to work on. I'm getting scared. Really scared. "

  And she should feel sort of stupid talking to herself. Yet she didn't. While she couldn't see anyone here, she felt them.

  "Can you . . . like, help me out here?" She waited. She listened with her ears. With her heart.

  No answer echoed back, not in her mind, her ears, or her heart. Unless you considered the sensation of calm and rightness that made her chest feel lighter, her problem less urgent, and her ability to deal with everything almost manage
able.

  Was this the answer? That everything was going to be okay? Or was this like Holiday's and Derek's touch-just a quick fix to the emotional havoc living and breathing inside her? Doubt tried to sweep away the calm.

  She dropped down on the uneven earth beneath her, a mix of rock and moist dirt, and rested her palms behind her for support. Tilting her head back, she felt her damp hair sway slightly and tickle her back through her nightshirt. Low on her back. Lower than ever before. Sitting up again, she reached back to touch the ends of her hair. Her hair, like her boobs, must have undergone a growth spurt. What did all this mean?

  Trying to embrace the soothing emotion this place produced, she stared at the wall of water not five feet from her and felt the tiny droplets moisten her skin. Don't worry, dear. Life is gonna be okay. One foot in front of the other. She heard her grandmother's words echo in her mind.

  "You really here, Nana? Or am I just remembering?" She posed the questions aloud.

  The lack of cold told her she was alone. A tiny part of her wanted to rebel, to demand an answer, not just to her ghost's problem but to all her issues. Just as she was about to open her mouth, a bit of wisdom seemed to wiggle through the frustration. This, whatever "this" was making the falls feel special, wasn't open to demands or rebellion. In addition to the calm, Kylie sensed a power.

  Not evil, but firm.

  Not uncaring, but unyielding.

  Unyielding enough to set a girl aflame and scar her for life? Kylie didn't know that answer, and for her own sanity she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

  Then, realizing she was probably pushing Della's and Miranda's limit for waiting, she stood up. When she did, she felt the folded envelope in her pocket. Lucas's letter. Another thing she'd have to deal with soon. And while none of her issues had changed, she did somehow feel more confident about handling them. And maybe, Kylie thought, that was as much help as she was going to get.

  The morning passed in a mind-numbing haze. Either due to her lack of sleep or the residuals from her growth spurt, Kylie wasn't sure. She dropped her lunch tray down beside Della and gave the dining hall a quick search for Derek.

  His before-lunch group often got caught up in hiking and missed the meal. As her gaze swept the other side of the dining hall she realized how much she wanted to see him.

  And how much she didn't want to see him.

  God, she was so wishy-washy. If she was having a hard time dealing with her back-and-forth emotions, she could only wonder how Derek felt.

  He probably thought she was a few French fries short of a Happy Meal.

  And he'd be right, wouldn't he?

  Without a doubt, the calm and confidence she'd gotten from this morning's trip to the falls was beginning to wane. When another visual sweep around the room didn't find Derek, she dropped in a chair and focused on Della, who sat there sipping her blood with very little interest. Then Kylie noted the empty seat next to Della.

  "Where's Miranda?" Kylie asked.

  "Don't know," Della muttered, and turned her glass in her hand.

  Kylie tried not to stare at the blood in the glass for fear she'd recall how good it tasted. Instead, she picked up her ham sandwich and took a big bite. "You okay?" Kylie shifted the lump of bread in her mouth so she could speak.

  "Yeah. Just mulling things over," Della said.

  "About going home in three weeks?"

  "Actually, I wasn't worrying about that, but now that you reminded me, I can add that to my worry agenda. Thanks. " Sarcasm laced Della's voice.

  "Sorry. " Kylie stared at the sandwich with disinterest. "So what are you worrying about?"

  "Just stuff," Della snapped.

  "Ooookay," Kylie said, letting Della know her mood wasn't appreciated.

  Hey, Kylie got the whole vampire bad attitude, but at times- "Sorry," Della said. "It's just that talk of death angels this morning got me worrying about . . . things. "

  "You mean about the time when you turned and can't remember the details. "

  "Yeah. " Della sounded relieved that Kylie remembered, and she looked at Kylie as if seeking help. "What if I did something really terrible?"

  How terrible? Kylie almost asked. Was Della actually worried that she might have hurt someone? Then she remembered who she was talking about. "First, I don't think you would do something really terrible. I mean, even the fact that you are worried you did something terrible means you're not a terrible person. "

  Della didn't look convinced. "But when you turn, it's so crazy. "

  "But you're not crazy," Kylie said. "And you're a good person. "

  Della nodded and looked as if she wanted to say something else, but then she looked away. Kylie had a sneaking suspicion that there was more to Della's concerns than met the eye. Did she remember more than she was saying? Whatever it was, Kylie wished she knew how to help.

  "I wonder what's up with Miranda?" Della said in an obvious attempt to change the subject. "God, I hope she hasn't gone back into mourning over little boy wonder. "

  "She seemed okay earlier. " Kylie looked to the table where most of the witches ate lunch to see if Miranda was there. She wasn't.

  While the camp was supposed to encourage intermingling between the species, and it did, there seemed to be something about mealtime that encouraged the "birds of a feather flock together" mentality, the exception being a few interspecies couples and a few cabin friends. Helen and Jonathon took turns sitting with the vampires and the fairies. Until recently, it hadn't been unusual for Perry to join Miranda at their table. And a couple times a week, Derek would sit with Kylie during meals.

  At least once a week, and never on the same days, even Della and Miranda would opt out of sitting with her and sit with their kind. Kylie told them they didn't have to sit with her. She understood if they wanted to sit with their same-feathered friends. They didn't listen.

  Whether it was out of loyalty or because they felt bad for her, Kylie didn't know. But deep down, she appreciated it to no end. Who wanted to eat lunch alone? That would remind her too much of her old high school when Sara was sick or skipping school.

  Thinking of Sara, Kylie pulled out her phone and checked to see if she had any messages from her best friend. It had been almost a week since Kylie had sent her several texts asking how things were going and telling her she would be home in three weeks for the weekend. It kind of hurt that Sara hadn't even gotten back in touch. Did that mean Sara didn't want to see her?

  Sure, Kylie would be the first to admit that they no longer seemed to have a lot in common-Kylie not being human being at the top of the list-but what they had was a ten-year friendship, years of being each other's best friend. Didn't that merit her taking a few hours out of her weekend to at least pretend she still cared?

  Kylie's phone rang. Thinking it would be eerie cool, almost psychic, if it was Sara, Kylie waited for the number to come across the screen. Not Sara. She cut off her phone and set it on the table.

  "Don't tell me, either Trey or your stepdad," Della said.

  "Two points for being right. " Kylie grabbed her sandwich again.

  "Which one?" Della asked.

  "Dad. Stepdad. " Even after meeting and learning to love Daniel, she sometimes forgot that Tom Galen wasn't her real father. Kylie sank her teeth into the soft bread, but didn't taste anything.

  "Is he still banging his intern?"

  Kylie swallowed. "Don't know. Don't care. "

  "Liar," Della said.

  "Okay, how about . . . don't know, wish like hell I didn't care?"

  "Now you're telling the truth. " She studied Kylie and passed her glass of blood under Kylie's nose. "Do you want a sip?"

  Kylie frowned and pushed the glass away. "No. "

  "You're lying again. " Della arched a brow.

  "Fine!" Kylie s
napped, and even to her own ears, she sounded like Della had earlier. "I want it, but I don't want it. And don't go thinking it's because I think something's wrong with being vampire. I think it's fine.

  It's just that I . . . I'm a bit overwhelmed with trying to figure out what I am. "

  "Believe it or not, I understand. " Della continued to study her. "You know, your heart is still beating faster than normal. "

  "I know. " Kylie pulled her hair over her shoulder. "And look. My hair grew, too. " She sighed when she remembered how she'd only found one bra that allowed her to squeeze her size-bigger boobs into it.

  "Damn. " Della reached out and touched her hair. "Have you talked to Holiday about all this yet?" She glanced at Kylie's chest again. "I don't want to scare you or anything, but it's kind of weird. "

  Oh, great. Just when she'd almost convinced herself it was no big deal, Della was telling her differently. Kylie let out a deep breath. "No, I haven't told her yet. I have a meeting with her at two o'clock. "

  "You don't sound very happy about it," Della said.

  "I'm not. "

  Della looked shocked. "What happened? You usually sing her praises. You pissed at her for something?"

  "No. But she's gonna be pissed at me. "

  "For what? Going to the falls?"

  "No. I don't think she'll be upset about me going to falls. " At least Kylie didn't think she would. "It's what I did while I was there that's going to tick her off. "

  "What did you do?" Della looked confused as she sipped her blood. "I kind of told Burnett about Holiday having had her heart broken by another vampire. "

  "Really? What happened?"

  "He asked me about her and then-"

  "Not that," Della said. "I mean with the other vampire?"

  "I . . . don't know it all. " Kylie realized she shouldn't have told Della, either.

  "Okay, so what's wrong with telling Burnett that?" Della asked.

  Kylie rolled her eyes. "It wasn't my place to tell him. Or you. So don't say anything. "

  "My mouth is sealed. " Della reached over to Kylie's plate and stole a chip. "You know why you told him, don't you?" She studied the chip she held with the edge of her fingertips.

  "Because I'm stupid," Kylie answered.

  "No, because it's clear to you and everyone else that those two need to go bump uglies. " She popped the chip into her mouth and made a face.

  "I used to love potato chips and now . . . ugg, they taste like toad ass. "

  Kylie completely ignored the potato chip/toad ass commentary while she tried to understand. "To do what? Bump what?"

  "Bump uglies, bang each other, burn off some of those flaming hormones they put out when they're in the same room together. "

  "Uglies?" Kylie still couldn't wrap her head around it.

  Della snickered. "I heard a comedian call it that. She was giving all the different names for doing the deed. Funny, isn't it?"

  "Maybe," Kylie said, but couldn't be sure. Her sense of humor had taken a day off and so had her appetite. She stared at her sandwich, missing only a few bites. Was her loss of appetite a sign? Would she someday think potato chips tasted like toad ass?

  "Speak of the horny little devils," Della said.

  Kylie looked up. Holiday and Burnett walked into the dining hall. Holiday led the way, and Burnett studied her from behind. For a second, Kylie feared Burnett had told Holiday what Kylie had said. She envisioned an angry and hurt Holiday giving her a good talking-to, and Kylie's chest tightened. Oh, God, why had she said anything to Burnett? It had been wrong. So wrong.

  Then Holiday met Kylie's gaze-no anger or hurt lingered in her green eyes, only a residual concern. Probably still worried about her and how she walked out of her office this morning. Holiday mouthed the words, "Two o'clock," and pointed to her watch.

  Kylie nodded.

  Holiday smiled and then walked up to the front of the dining hall and took a lunch plate. Burnett continued to follow her, his gaze taking in her every move, as if trying to memorize every inch of her body.

  "Wait a minute," Kylie said. "If vampires can smell those hormones, how come Burnett doesn't seem to know Holiday feels that way about him? I mean, when I hinted that Holiday might be feeling something other than just annoyance, he seriously acted surprised. "

  "That's simple. We can't smell our own hormones and most of the time we can't smell the hormones of the people we're attracted to. I never smelled my boyfriend's. " A sad smiled touched her lips as if some memory had tiptoed across her mind. "And I know Lee felt them. "

  Kylie sensed that Della still cared about Lee, but she also got the feeling that her friend wasn't about to admit it, nor did she want to talk about it. "That's weird how that works. "

  "Yeah. It's as if when we're attracted to someone, the emotion triggers the off button of our hormone sensor. Now, if you aren't attracted to someone and they've got the hots for you-oh yeah, we can smell that like a bad fart. "

  Kylie chewed on that information for a few seconds and then said, "But then how come Derek can tell when I'm thinking about. . . " Okay, Kylie wasn't sure she wanted to say that aloud, but curiosity provoked her to continue. "Are you saying he's not attracted to me?"

  "No. " Della grinned. "He's not vampire. He's not even smelling anything.

  He's reading emotion. That's a completely different thing. "

  "Oh. " Kylie looked back down at her plate and forced herself to eat a chip but her mind continued to churn. Once she swallowed, she forced herself to ask the question, in a very low voice, of course. "Do Derek and I . . . do we really spill hormones all over the place? I mean, is it so bad that it's embarrassing?"

  Della's eyes widened, but she didn't answer. Which was so unlike Della. She never hesitated to tell you like it was.

  "Oh, crap. Is it that bad?" Kylie asked.

  Della cut her eyes upward. Kylie was just about to figure out what that eye shift meant when a warm breath whispered across her neck.

  "Is what bad?" Derek asked.