Awake at Dawn

Chapter Twenty-seven

  Confusion filled his expression. "What? Tom Selleck?"

  Embarrassment filled her chest. Had she really said that? "What I'm trying to say is I don't think it will happen again. So let's forget it, okay?"

  "Why won't it happen again?" His gaze became heavy, and he lowered his face an inch closer from hers. "It's obvious that you feel the same about me as-"

  "As you do for Fredericka?" She wished she could snatch the question from the air before it reached his ears.

  His brow creased and he leaned back on his heels. "So that's what you're angry about. "

  She didn't deny it. Not because she didn't want to, but because she didn't think she could pull it off.

  "Look, Fredericka and I-"

  "It's not important. "

  "It is to me. I never touched her while we were away. Not once. "

  "It doesn't matter because . . . what you two are, or what you do, is your business. Because you and I . . . we're just friends. "

  "We could be more," he countered. "It feels like more already. "

  "No. " She looked him directly in the eyes, hoping he'd understand she meant it.

  He pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, and his thumb brushed over her cheek. "The last time we stood on the porch, you invited me inside and I think that invitation included more than just . . . being friends. " She remembered standing here, almost begging him to come inside, wanting . . . so much more than his company. But that was then-before her feelings deepened for Derek.

  She caught Lucas's hand and moved it from her face. "But you said no. And you were right. "

  "You really believe that?" He tenderly folded his fingers around her hand.

  Yeah, she did, because he'd run off with Fredericka.

  "She followed me, Kylie. I didn't ask her to come. I would have sent her home, but it turned out I needed her. "

  Kylie tried to pull her hand from his, but his hold tightened.

  "I didn't mean need her like . . . like that. I left to help someone. " He paused. "I didn't tell you in the letters because if Holiday found out she'd have had a fit. I have a half sister. She'd been pulled into one of the gangs.

  I had to get her out, Kylie. She didn't deserve to . . . I should have been there for her earlier. She called and asked for help a few months before, but I didn't do it because I would have had to face my father. It was my fault it happened and I had to help. Then Fredericka helped me. "

  Kylie tilted her head back. "She helped you. She tried to kill me. "

  He shook his head. "She wouldn't have killed you last night. "

  It had been him. She'd known, but hearing him say it made it more real.

  "She just wanted to scare you," he continued. "She doesn't like you because she knows how I feel about you. "

  "You had to fight her to stop her from charging me. "

  "That doesn't mean anything. That's the way we deal with things when

  we're changed. We don't stand around and use psychology when we're in our natural state. "

  "But last night wasn't the first time she tried to put me six feet under. She put a lion in my room before you left. "

  His expression darkened. "She did what?"

  "She put a lion in my room. One from the wildlife preserve. If it hadn't been for Derek I could have died. "

  Disbelief filled his expression. "She wouldn't have done that. "

  Kylie yanked her hand from his. She couldn't believe he was defending Fredericka. But why was that unbelievable? He'd admitted to having sex with her. Then he ran off with her.

  He raked a hand through his hair. "She's not like that, Kylie. I know she's harsh but . . . you don't know her like I do. "

  "You're right," Kylie said. "I don't know her like you do. And since you two have so much in common, why don't you go find her right now and . . . and be with her? That's where you belong. "

  "She's not the one I want. " His words came out terse. "It's you. It's been you since . . . since the minute I first saw you. "

  Kylie closed her eyes and shook her head. This was all happening so fast. She'd finally gotten used to him being gone, and now here he was shaking up her life all over again.

  "Tell me you didn't feel it," he whispered. "Tell me that you didn't feel the bond we had when we first met. "

  She had felt it, but she'd been five years old. She met his gaze again. "I don't know what to think, Lucas. You're telling me that there's nothing between you and Fredericka, but she obviously has other ideas. Maybe you should sort things out with her before you start something up with me. " Her heart clutched when she realized this was basically the same thing Derek had told her.

  "You make it sound as if I haven't already tried to do that. "

  She shrugged. "My life's really complicated right now. If you'd been around these past weeks, you'd know that. So for now, we can be friends. That's all. "

  Kylie heard voices on the trail. When she looked up, Derek and a few of his friends walked past. Derek didn't even look her way. She suspected it was because he'd already seen them. Seen them and assumed the worst.

  Guilt filled her, but she pushed the emotion back, hoping Derek hadn't been close enough to sense it. She hadn't been doing anything wrong. Breath held, she watched the group of guys walk out of eyeshot.

  When she looked back, Lucas studied her. "Is he why? Are you two serious?"

  "That's not even important. You and I are just friends, Lucas. Just friends. "

  She turned and opened her door. Right after she shut it in his face, she heard him say, "Not if I can change your mind, Kylie Galen. "

  The next morning, Della had an early morning ritual and would be a noshow for breakfast. Miranda announced she'd be skipping as well. Kylie got a feeling the witch was up to something. Probably trying to reverse the spell on Socks. Kylie had almost asked but she'd fought sleep most of the night for fear she'd lapse into a dream with Lucas, and she didn't have the stamina for a long conversation about possible curse reversals. Walking into the dining hall alone, Kylie felt everyone's stares and knew they were all twitching like crazy checking out her brain pattern.

  After she grabbed her tray of a Danish and fruit, she hesitated in the back of the room, searching for a seat. Today everyone had chosen to sit with their own kind. Since Kylie didn't have a kind, or at least know what kind she belonged to, she marched over to an empty table.

  For the life of her, she didn't know why it was so hard to sit alone. She should have more self-esteem than to let something so silly make her feel uncomfortable. But calling it silly didn't change how she felt. She stared at her Danish and tried not to look as pathetic as she felt.

  Hearing familiar laughter, Kylie glanced up and saw the fairy table all in chuckles. Everyone there looked content in their cozy circle of friends.

  Everyone but Derek. Hurt filled his eyes, but what was she supposed to do? She hadn't done this. He had. And she had a distinct feeling if she went to him, he'd walk away from her. That would hurt too much.

  Picking up her pastry, she took a bite. It was her favorite kind with raspberry and cream cheese, but she barely tasted it. She swallowed another flavorless bite and felt as if everyone in the room stared at her. Her new shifting brain pattern hadn't stopped being the topic of conversation from what she'd heard.

  Suddenly, a tray dropped down on the table beside her. Thinking it was Della back early from her morning event, Kylie sighed the words, "Thank you," and turned with a smile.

  Not Della.

  Lucas smiled. "Thanks for what?"

  "Nothing," she said, and almost asked him to leave. But damn it, hadn't she told him they were friends? And as friends, there was no good reason why he couldn't sit at a table with her. Well, aside from a certain she-wolf who would want to
kill her because of it.

  His blue eyes twinkled with humor. "You've got jelly. " He brushed his finger across her lip. Then he popped the digit into his mouth.

  "That's what napkins are for," she said, reaching for one and giving her tingling lips a good swipe.

  He chuckled.

  Realizing Derek might be watching, Kylie cut her eyes to his table. He was gone. Which meant he'd seen them and taken off. Great. She let herself feel guilty for a second and then she got mad. She wouldn't be in this situation if he would have come over and sat with her. Nope.

  Taking a deep breath, she reached for her milk and took a long sip. Then she looked at Lucas who was watching her.

  "You are so damn beautiful," he said.

  She rolled her eyes and put down her milk. "Just friends," she insisted. "Okay. But you're still beautiful. " His grin widened. "Even with a milk mustache. " He handed her a napkin and chuckled. Then he grew serious.

  "Burnett told me about what happened with Della. Is she going to be okay?"

  "I think so. " She didn't go into any detail, or mention Chan. She didn't know how much Burnett had said, or how much even Della was supposed to be telling anyone about the Code-Red incidents.

  "I heard about what happened in town and then with your mom," he

  added. "It sounds like you've had a crappy time since I've been away. "

  "Yeah, pretty crappy. "

  He picked up his pastry and took a bite without getting anything on himself, of course. "I also heard. . . " His eyes brightened in humor.

  "About what your skunk did to Fredericka. I'm sure she deserved it. "

  "She did. " Was this his way of showing loyalty to Kylie over Fredericka?

  Not that he had to choose between them. Kylie and Lucas were just friends. And if she could just stop remembering how good it had felt to kiss him, she really thought they could be friends, too. "Your last few weeks didn't sound too great, either. Is your sister going to be okay?"

  He nodded. "I think so. I've got her staying with some friends. I'm going to talk to Holiday about her enrolling here for school. You are signing up, right?"

  Kylie pinched off a piece of pastry. "I'm hoping so. My mom said she's thinking about it. "

  The thought of what Kylie would do if her mom really said no caused her stomach to knot. She belonged here, with the others. Her gaze shifted around the different tables hosting what looked like families of supernaturals.

  Hopefully, soon she'd even discover what table she belonged to.

  This isn't the same world you used to live in. Kylie heard Miranda's words from last night echo in her head. No, it wasn't the same world.

  It was dark and sometimes very dangerous, but it was her world now.