J R

—Yes but, I’d forgotten almost, you don’t need to feel . . .

  —No, no I meant every word.

  —Jack, you . . .

  —What? he followed her again.

  —No, nothing . . . she stood staring out where burning neon forced the eye to read.—How did you end up in a place like this.

  —I haven’t ended up.

  —I heard you’d married.

  —Did you.

  —I thought, Jack what a waste I always knew you cared so, so strongly so bitterly I just never knew what it was you cared about . . .

  —It would take a woman to say that wouldn’t it, something like that.

  —I didn’t mean, no, no never mind I’m, I’ll wait up there for the train you’ll want to sit back here won’t you, in the smoker, it was nice to see you . . .

  —Sorry I bothered you Stella, next time . . .

  —Please, stop it!

  —What, the minute you see me you start to . . .

  —Well what are you doing here! What are you doing in a town like this the first time I’ve seen you in, in all this time and you’re wandering around a train platform with your old books and papers your hair messed and your, a hole in your trouser seat you look . . .

  —Tell you the truth Stella it’s a little embarrassing I’m, you see I’m out here with a repertory company plays, you know, same God damned plays over and over I’m just coming from rehearsal’s why I’m still in this costume . . .

  —What a waste . . .

  —Little comedy we’re putting on now I could probably get you the ingenue lead just get up there and play yourself, doing it right down here at the firehouse it’s sort of a grim fairy tale called Our Dear Departed Mem . . . she put a hand on his arm as the train shuddered in beside them and he turned and looked at her, down the length of her.—All right come on, he passed his hand down her waist—I’ll ride you into town . . . and they entered the car out of sight behind its filthy windows as its lights too receded and became mere punctuations in this aimless spread of evening past the firehouse and the crumbling Marine Memorial, the blooded barberry and woodbine’s silent siege and the desirable property For Sale, up weeded ruts and Queen Anne’s laces to finally mount the sky itself where another blue day brought even more the shock of fall in its brilliance, spread loss like shipwreck on high winds tossing those oaks back in waves blown over with whitecaps where their leaves showed light undersides and dead branches cast brown sprays to the surface, straining at the height of the pepperidge tree and blowing down the open highway to find voice in the screams of the electric saws prospering through Burgoyne Street—like the Erinyes . . . came in a mutter up the stepped concrete to the station platform where Mrs Joubert, hemming her throng between the arriving shudder of the train and a billboard freshly inscribed Party tonite at Debbys cespool breng youre own spoon and straws, caught her lapels against a gust.

  —All right boys and girls stay together, the car on the left here stop pushing! Can’t you get the door oh, can you help us? Mister . . .

  —Bast yes, yes I’d be . . .

  —That door there yes thank you, if you can help me get them settled? or are you with the others . . .

  —Me? No the other what, I’m . . .

  —Up ahead there, the other teachers it’s a conference or something, she said seated now, smoothing the skirt toward her knee with long fingers,—why they couldn’t spare anyone to help with this field trip I think it’s something to do with the union . . .

  —No I’m not with them no, no I’m not with anybody . . . he came down beside her and peaked his trousers at the knee as though to rouse some memory of a crease there—in fact I’m, I mean after what happened yesterday I guess I’m not really even with the school anymore, if you . . .

  —That? Her profile broke with a smile turned full on him,—why it was just a silly accident Mister Bast, who could . . .

  —No I know it but, well I mean some people might think I did it on purp . . .

  —I’m sure no one would dream of it and I haven’t even thanked you have I, for picking it all up it was only three pennies short.

  —Oh the, that money yes is that what you . . .

  —It’s for this trip today and I do appreciate your help . . .

  —I’m glad to . . . he came to slow rest against her unyielding thigh,—I’m just going in for . . .

  —Boys sit down up there! If you’d just sit up there behind those two boys, I don’t know what they’re up to but to keep anything from starting.

  —Oh. You mean now?

  —Yes just to keep, oh! Never mind I’ll get it . . . the shuddering glide of the train drew her hand after the lipstick rolling under the seat ahead.

  —Hey quick look.

  —What.

  —I saw one again, watch when she’s bending down . . .

  —So what you, oh hi Mister Bast? You going in with us?

  —No.

  —Where you going.

  —I’m just going in.

  —How come.

  —Some business I have to take care of.

  —What kind of business.

  —Just my own business now turn around and face the front.

  —No but I just wanted to ask you, what does maneuver mean? It’s m, a, n . . .

  —It means to, to do something in a certain way to get something done. Now turn around.

  —Oh, J R muttered, sinking back so that all of him evident over the seat was a pencil stub digging at the rough tag of hair lapping his collar.—He doesn’t know either . . . and the complex of legs, feet tapping, twisting, wedged into seat hinges, hands scratching, picking, resumed as the train slipped forward.

  —Where does it say it.

  —Brilliantly executed K’ung-p’a maneuvers require no bodily contact, and yet K’ung-p’a can be deadly, crippling . . .

  —That’s a lot of crap.

  —Oh yeah? Then look, you pay nothing if you can’t disarm one hoodlum, send another flying through the air, and slam a third into the ground, all in a split second of . . .

  —Well, maybe . . .

  —Because K’ung-p’a is deadly beyond imagination, and since attack as well as defense is taught, only a small limited edition has been printed for serious students who must vow never to use it as an aggressor but only as self-defense to protect himself, his friends and his family. We don’t ever want a criminal or hoodlum to be able to buy it because of its deadly power . . .

  —Okay, what do you want for it.

  —What’ll you give me.

  —This? Yes I want to learn the piano without hours of okay then this, look. Millions of dollars have been paid for rare coins, now you can learn the rare dates and how to identify the rare coins in your possession by obtaining our catalogue, okay?

  —Okay. That and what else.

  —Rush full information plus three free cosmetic samples, no obligation. Okay?

  —Okay.

  —Okay, if you give me Scientific method builds powerful muscles hey wait wait, look at that!

  —What. That tit?

  —No, down here. Original factory-packed new thirty caliber fifteen shot wait no it must be this government surplus crap . . .

  —You want it?

  —No I already sent for it, I got it here. It’s mostly crap . . . and the two heads submerged together over the papers massed on the seat between them, knees rising, feet twisting, fingers gone from picking and scratching to dig through envelopes marked Personal, Here is the Information You Requested, Bonus Offer Inside; flyers headed Immediate Cash Commissions Paid on Every Sale, Prospects and Customers Everywhere, How to Make Big Profits Overseas; letters opening Dear Friend, Dear Sir, Is You Future Worth Five Minutes? Take a Good Look in the Mirror, closing Cordially, Yours for Success,—this one?

  —Let’s see.

  —Let’s see.

  —See? Defense Surplus Sales Office, Fleet Station San Diego, it’s mostly crap. Like what I wanted was this here surplus tank, so they send me this and
you look up where it says tank it just says Tank, tip, fuel, four fifty gal, aluminum, aircraft, repairs required. It’s just this lousy used airplane gas tank, see?

  —Let’s see, what’s all that stuff.

  —That’s these old shoes. Shoes, service, Field, leather, composition soles and heels, natural and dark brown, sizes nine C to fifteen FF a thousand seven hundred eighty-seven pairs see it’s all just crap look, cable, telephone, eighteen hundred conductors nine hundred pair solid twenty-two AWG or like here, Mise hardware consisting of an estimated two thousand pieces including cups, casters, washers, screws, nuts, clamps, latches, snap hooks, rings, they just have all this crap to get rid of see? What’ll you give me for it.

  —Nothing.

  —I got more of them too.

  —Who wants them. What’s this.

  —Crap.

  —. . . many Jews in the Holy Land should have to refuse to enter hospitals for necessary treatment because they fear that if they die their bodies will be mutilated! Furthermore, what did you want to send for this for?

  —Who sent for it. It just came by itself.

  —I know, I got this other one just like it only this it’s about cutting up these here animals . . .

  The train hung poised on a hum of escaping power, shuddered and lurched backward to a halt that jolted Bast’s elbow from the sill where he had pressed it in an apparent attempt to cushion his head against the dirty pane and doze.

  —Dear Future Investigator. Thank you for your inquiry in regards to the investigation profession. By responding to our advertisement, you have shown the initiative necessary to better your earning capacity and social standing. With the increasing crime rate . . .

  —What are you going to put where it says are you married? if you have an automobile? What part of the world would you like to work in?

  —I can put something and look. A Gold Sealed Diploma, suitable for framing . . .

  —How much do they want.

  —I know, that’s what I’m looking for.

  —What’s that one.

  —Never before has a career in art offered so many exciting opportunities for success and high income. Original hand painted pictures are being sought today by more and more interior decorators, homeowners, and . . .

  —Boy, what crap. That’s all you’ve got is crap. What’s this.

  —It’s this club you can join if I recommend you.

  —What kind of a club.

  —It’s this club, see? You step inside and suddenly excitement surrounds you! You enter a world highlighted by the soft, flickering glow of opep-hearth fireplaces . . . the attentive rustle of beautiful Bunnies, the bright colors of original . . .

  —Bunnies? What kind of a club is that.

  —and a heady houseparty atmosphere that seems to prevail . . .

  —What, these are bunnies? these girls with their ass sticking in this guy’s face? Where do you join it.

  —Dear Friend. If you are now a Playboy Club keyholder or if this is your second invitation to join the Playboy Club, please accept our apologies. In each area where Playboy Clubs are being placed in operation there exists a certain select group of individuals . . .

  —How much does that say, twenty-five cents? You a member?

  —Dollars. No.

  —Crap. I got almost the same thing only it’s free. Look. Dear Friend. This month Rancho Hacienda Estates is ushering in the season with a succession of gala banquets. Look at the delicious, full-course dinner menu enclosed, to which you are invited as our distinguished guest. There is no cost or obligation to you. In order to make this gala evening an even more memorable event in your life, our entertainment plans for you include a private showing of the new color film Golden Evenings, which we believe will cast the same haunting glow over this festive occasion that can light the golden evening years of your life at Rancho Hacienda Estates. May we make reservations for yourself and your spouse . . .

  —What’s a spouse?

  —What’s the difference. It’s free.

  —Well what is it.

  —How am I supposed to know. Hey Mister . . .

  —Leave him alone hey, he’s asleep . . .

  —Dear Friend. How soon can you get started in Import-Export?

  What do you need to know? How much does it cost? What products can you import? The answers to these questions may determine your entire future . . .

  —No but look the thing is it’s still all crap because I mean look hey, like where this thing says yes I want to make More Money selling Advertising Book Matches. Please send the starting Portfolio and information about Sales Plans Premiums and handsome Professional Carrying Case then tell us briefly your age and selling experience what are you going to put, right? I mean like this here shoe thing Dear Friend. You have been recommended for the opening we have in your territory for a man who wants to increase his income then like what do you do where it says on this here little card I am interested in your offer to set me up in my own shoe business I wear shoe size like what are you going to put where it says here be sure to give size? I mean like if you put in your real size they know right off how big you are they won’t send you shit, or if you put some grownup size then you’re like going along these here traveled highways where every place of business is your prospect and potential book match customer carrying this here handsome Professional Carrying Case selling these matches wearing this demonstrator pair of these here grownup size shoes like some crazy looking . . .

  —Okay then look, what do you want for those surplus Army stuff catalogs.

  —Nothing. All you’ve got is crap.

  —You said they were crap too.

  —Yeah but they’re better crap than your shoe stuff and your match thing what’s in there, let’s see. Dead men do tell tales, often the fingerprint expert is called upon . . . What do you want for it. And this wait, this guy with his fingers all grown together fingerprinting and identification magazine look, I’ll give you this surplus stuff catalog for all this stuff, okay?

  —What, that one lousy thing for all this?

  —No but wait I got more. Look. Department of Defense, Sealed Bid Sale offering tab cards, tires, crane engines . . .

  —What else.

  —Look. General Services Administration, Region Seven, sales of civilian agency surplus property, see? Automotive, Medical, clothing, hand tools and wait hey look, Spot Bid Sale, Defense Logistics Services Center, pipe fittings, valves, hardware, generator sets, test sets and stands, electrical . . .

  —Is that all?

  —All what do you mean, all, there’s six of them here with this look, this Reference Guide about how you get all this . . .

  —Okay look what do you want for it, look I’ll . . .

  —We can’t hey, we’re there . . .

  —Boys and girls? Let’s wait till everyone gets out . . .

  —Boy this train should have had a wreck hey look at all the lousy teachers on it . . .

  —When we can’t even get room in the cafeteria for driver training because they took the Senior Citizens’ painting class out of the gym when they started the prenatal care program there what’s going to happen to the adult hobby show?

  —For the kind of evaluative criterions you find in these kind of enviremental settings . . .

  —With the educational discount a lawnmower like that should be about forty-two dollars, so I said . . .

  —When they tried to tell me I didn’t know enough math to teach it I showed them enough units for the certificates and you should have seen their faces . . .

  —Like they do it in Russia so I said . . .

  —Like it says here to gain the creative tension necessary to make deadline negotiations meaningful you need an impending social crisis like . . .

  —Seeing her in the hospital and she says Leroy motioned them right out in front of that truck so I said you better get a better story to tell your insurance company . . .

  —With the textbook and the workbook and the tests an
d the answer key but no teacher manual how do they expect . . .

  —A short story out of it which if I published it somewheres there’s three semester hours credit right there . . .

  —Boys and girls? I think everyone’s out, stand and file out the front and wait on the platform here, get your feet off the seat, who has the money for our share in, there it is yes Mister Bast maybe you wouldn’t mind taking it? Mister Bast is joining us today boys and girls . . .

  —No but wait . . .

  —Can we stop at the girls’ room Mrs Joubert? Like this one on the train the door was stuck and . . .

  —Mrs Joubert what about lunch . . .

  —Watch the stairs there don’t push!

  —Wait I’m sorry I didn’t mean, I thought you just meant on the train . . .

  —Nine, eleven twelve are there? thirteen? You didn’t happen to count them Mister Bast?

  —No but no but I’m sorry I thought you just meant to help you on the train I, I have to go somewhere I came in today to look for a job and, and wait maybe I could do it tomorrow I . . .

  —It’s my fault no I wouldn’t think of it we’ll be, stop that running! We’ll be fine Mister Bast really we, oh the money yes . . .

  —But I, maybe on the way back maybe I can . . .

  —Our train’s around four yes and thank you, oh and I hope your job works out boys and girls stay together . . .! they dodged ahead through the flood of hats, haircuts, briskly folded newspapers,—five, six one at a time now one at a time . . .! engulfed in the roar of the subway until they burst from the pavement where the sun cut a path across Trinity Church—eight, nine I should have counted wait for the light!

  —Hey look at the graveyard . . .

  —Boys and girls? yes look at the tombstones some of them are over two hundred years old oh look, look at that one with the weeping cherub carved on it isn’t it dear . . . and they gaped obediently at the bird dropping coursing down that weathered angel’s cheek until the light changed and released them across Broadway and down Wall in disheveled Indian file staggered seriatim by a stench rising from the sidewalk grating at No. 11 until George Washington’s extended hand flung their attention fragmented round the corner into Broad where the lofty pediment at No. 20 threatened to spill its stone comedy of naked labor yoked, high above their heads, to the lively dominion seething within, buffeted by the anxiety of lifetimes’ savings adrift in windbreakers and flowered hats toward the visitors’ gallery where football field hyperbole addressed them in a voice strategically boxed along the rail.