J R

  —Did she . . . did she, really say that?

  —Say what.

  —That, that dear person, that I was such a . . .

  —Don’t sound like my words do they, Mister Bast? Now, you want to clear up this . . .

  —Yes well you see I’ve been carrying her note around for quite a while and then yesterday when I went out to pick up this check I . . .

  —No no no this, this red thing as you call it. What do you want to know.

  —Well I just wanted, I mean I think my associate wants . . .

  —Looks perfectly clear to me, bond issue that defaulted ten, let’s see there, thirteen years ago, company still losing money faster than they can write the figures. Wallpaper Mister Bast, wallpaper. Know what wallpaper is?

  —Well I thought I . . .

  —Good goat country, happened to know a little about this Eagle Mills myself, used to go up there for goat. Nobody else ever heard of them, they went to sleep up there before you were born and nobody woke them up. Did they get out of woollens and into synthetics after the war, no. Did they move south to a cheap labor pool where some red union wouldn’t run them down? No, they sat up at Union Falls and put out a million dollar bond issue.

  —But if they haven’t got any money how do they . . .

  —Didn’t say they didn’t have any money did I? Net worth’s probably around a million, most of it probably in their net property account, may even be sitting on a fat pension fund they’ve forgotten exists . . . he came forward again to paw at the heap.—Pick these up a few cents on the dollar, this the only one you, your associate has, is it?

  —Well no, no he said he’s getting a whole bunch, he . . .

  —A what?

  —A lot. He says he . . .

  —One lot? Nothing to cry about, client of mine got stuck with twenty lots of Boston and Maine interest been due on it for ten or fifteen years, pick one up for you for ten any time you like.

  —Dollars?

  —When we say ten we mean hundred, Mister Bast . . . and he sank back from the heap before him, eyes taking on the glassine vacancy of the rest of the audience.

  —Yes well there was just one more thing here I, that I think you might . . .

  —That? My God, haven’t seen one in years.

  —No this isn’t what I . . . what is it.

  —Russian Imperial Bond.

  —You mean it isn’t worth any, worth very . . .

  —Mister Bast, anything is worth whatever some damn fool will pay for it, only reason somebody can make a market in Russian Imperials is because some damn, somebody like your associate will buy them. Happen to know how he, how this associate of yours got into all this?

  —By, well buying and selling at first I think and then he had some stock in a company and was going to bring some kind of legal suit for, for his class, I mean he . . .

  —A class action? What was the company, another Ace Development outfit?

  —No it was a, Diamond, the Diamond Cable Company he, well maybe I should just tell you the whole story, you see he’s only . . .

  —No please Mister Bast, for the love of God please! You don’t mind if I give you both a bit of advice?

  —No, no well of course that’s why I came in to . . .

  —Stay in music Mister Bast. Stay in music and advise your, your associate here to stay in whatever in the name of God he’s in, where neither of you will ever have to know the value of anything.

  —Well but, well yes thank you then but if I could just ask you why this company of, this Eagle Mills, if they have a million dollars why they don’t . . .

  —Mister Bast I, I didn’t say they had a million dollars, I said their net worth . . .

  —Yes but what does net . . .

  —Mister Bast . . . he loomed slowly forward toward the heap on the blotter,—Mister Bast I, I’ve just had a thought.

  —Yes what does net . . .

  —I take it a composer’s life is no easier than it ever was, Mister Bast.

  —Yes well that’s true of course but I, that’s the reason I . . .

  —Suppose I was able to throw something your way Mister Bast, something a little more in your line.

  —In, do you mean in music?

  —Commissioning you to write a bit of music, what would you say to that sir?

  —Oh well that of course yes, yes that’s what I . . .

  —Think you could write me some zebra music, Mister Bast?

  —Yes I, some, some what?

  —Zebra music Mister Bast, zebra music. Just take a minute to fill you in here, friend of mine and I have gone to no damned little expense to put together a little film, fellows you see up here mainly . . . and he herded the stares of the wall gallery indiscriminately together with a sweep of his arm,—and zebras, damned lot of zebras in fact, whole idea is to wake up some people down in Washington to the idea of stocking our public lands with something more suitable than a lot of trailers and beer cans.

  —With, with zebras . . .?

  —For a start, for a start yes, and all these fellows of course, all antelopes, don’t look related do they but they’re all antelopes. Now the whole . . .

  —It sounds very, yes it sounds very interesting but first could I ask one question about . . .

  —Him over by the door yes, didn’t mean him of course, certainly no antelope is he but we’d want to bring him along pretty quickly too. Nothing like wild pig to liven things up a little, and then of course you begin to bring in your beasts of prey . . .

  —No I meant what would happen . . .

  —What do you think would happen, can’t just throw your balance of nature off and leave it off now, can you.

  —No I just meant about these bonds, I mean what’s going to happen to . . .

  —What, this Eagle outfit? Don’t ask me sir, why their creditors haven’t thrown them into bankruptcy and picked up whatever they could on the dollar before this, now as I say we’ve got this whole . . .

  —Yes but what would happen then, would they . . .

  —To this Eagle outfit? Courts would probably just wash out their whole common and preferred equity and hand it over to a receiver to reorganize, as I say we’ve got this whole film put together now, not quite the finished thing of course but pretty close to it, a jump cut I think they call it, runs about two hours and twenty minutes and we think a little . . .

  —Of, of zebras?

  —Plenty of movement yes, last trip over Stamper found a nigger boy right there in Malindi who knew how to run a camera and we packed him up country with us, couldn’t get him near lion though, brought down a nice Cape Buffalo but we couldn’t get him near that either so we’re pretty heavy on the zebra side, beautiful things, great sense of freedom and dignity you see in all these fellows . . . and, as he gestured again, the entire mass of tweed and chair rolled back and a drawer came open.—Give you an idea have a look at him, yes hold it up to the light there, of course you don’t get the sense of movement you get in the film and that’s where Stamper and I think a little music would make it look a little more professional but that gives you an idea. Fine looking fellow isn’t he?

  —Yes he’s, is this Mister Stamper?

  —No no on the left there, the zebra, that’s just one of our nigger boys with it, the zebra there, hole hardly shows does it. Got him right behind the head there at four hundred yards, gives you some idea of this grace and dignity you’d want to capture in your music . . . his fingers were drumming on the teak,—plenty of movement . . .

  —Well two hours and, it might get a little repetitive if . . .

  —Good point Bast, good point . . . and the contents of the box of slide transparencies cascaded between them,—got some film we haven’t even used in this, we just had a few shots from it printed up here to keep track of things, give you an idea, antelope mainly, kudu over there and hartebeest, fellow right behind me here. We didn’t use this film though because this nigger boy forgot to turn something on the camera and we got some damned
odd colors but a little of it here and there might give it all a little more artistic feeling, use your music to tie it in and it would look like we’d done it on purpose, all these damned colors, what do you think.

  —Yes it sounds interesting it, but could I ask you one more thing about . . .

  —Of course, yes, probably be able to add another good forty minutes or so and give your music a chance to change the pace a little, see what you mean yes, take the dik-dik here, might have a little fun with the dik-dik . . .

  —No what I mean was what would happen if that happened and a receiver took over the company, what . . .

  —Company? What company.

  —This, this Eagle Mills, if you had a bond would it . . .

  —What, this Eagle outfit? Just reorganize it if they want to keep things running, probably put out a new issue of common and convertible preferred hand out a few shares of each for every bond, the rate they’ve been losing money up there they must have generated one hell of a tax loss carry-forward position but that’s no damned use all by itself is it, now here he is, little fellow running out ahead there, see him? Of course you’ll never see a purple dik-dik but there’s no damned law against a little artistic license is there.

  —Yes, no I mean no but then if you did have some of these bonds would you be able to get any money from . . .

  —What, these? Eagle? Just depends if the man who came off with the biggest bite had the sense to convert all his preferred to common and pick up some more common if he needed it to step in and take over certainly shouldn’t be hard, local people up there sitting on most of this paper would probably hold onto their preferred because of the dividend position wouldn’t care a damn that they couldn’t vote it, what got them into trouble in the first place of course sooner or later you’ll want to see the whole film itself but you might take these along for what you’d call inspiration I suppose?

  —Yes I do have to leave, I just had one more question about . . .

  —No no no sit still, sit still, we’ve already gone to a good deal of expense on this and a little more won’t hurt, of course it’s not hurting Stamper anyway because it all comes right off taxes as an educational expense project, educate these Parks people and a few of these big conservationist lobbies and environmentalists and clean up this tourist glut that’s turning these great public lands and wilderness areas into rubbish heaps and outdoor latrines like camping in a lot of damned parking lots, turn a few wild pigs loose in these National Parks we’ll clear things up in no time.

  —Yes I, yes I did just want to ask if . . .

  —Just told you Bast, can’t throw your balance of nature off and leave it off now can you, get these zebras and the rest of these fellows in there without something to hunt them and they’d all go berserk. Ever see zebras grazing with lion in the grass a few hundred yards away? Know damned well they’re there and know damned well why they’re there but you don’t see them pack up and run do you? Don’t see an apple tree pack up and run when you come to pick an apple do you?

  —Well no, no I never . . .

  —Know damned well you don’t, whole problem facing us now is the rate Africa’s developing it’s going to be nothing but a lot of niggers driving around in hats and neckties no place left for the game at all, pushing these fellows right off their own land like a lot of damned Indians if we don’t set them up over here pretty quick there won’t be any place left to hunt them at all. That answer your question?

  —Yes well, no not exactly you see I just wondered if when you say someone would come in and take over, how they . . .

  —You still on this Eagle outfit? Just walk in and take over.

  —But then what would they, I mean would the people who had these bonds be able to . . .

  —Loosen up their cash position a little, lease-back arrangements and that kind of thing, and clean up their net properties accounts, probably things in it they’ve forgotten they own. Grandeur Bast, that’s the quality you want to get across in your music here, restore these great public lands to their natural grandeur, stock the National Parks with some of these fellows we’ll clean out all these trailers and tin cans and these damned filthy kids with their hair and drugs and beads and motorcycles of course Stamper’s idea is a damned sight simpler, says why not just go in and hunt them. Use tranquillizers and pellet guns but they don’t have the instinct for survival that a good healthy animal’s got, lie down in the dirt and sing you a song and there’s no damned challenge in that . . .

  —Yes well, your phone yes maybe I’d better . . .

  —Just sit still a minute yes . . . Shirley? If this is Davidoff again just tell him to . . . who? Better put him on yes just hold on a minute Bast, start turning down calls from the press you see your credibility go right down the, hello . . .? he recovered from a gesture apparently intended to direct attention to the litter of slide transparencies which got no further than a book on the desk there, A Moveable Feast left opened to page 190.—Talking about the piece in Forbes this morning I saw it yes, got the whole thing blown out of proportion this talk about fabled mineral wealth and outside interests the whole thing’s tribal, want the key to this Gandia situation it’s right there in Gandia this Doctor Dé’s an Idi . . . no no just Idi, i, d . . . first three letters yes, hill tribe up there in Uaso province been at the Blakus’ throats for a thousand years and this Nowunda’s Blaku, Dé sees his chance to get up in the world and starts these secession rumors probably find him floating face down in the river the whole thing will die down, I know Afri . . . any time yes, goodbye . . . he came forward again to rid himself of the phone—now, sir. Where were we.

  —Oh. Yes there was one more thing I said I’d ask about it’s a, I think it’s under the portfolio there . . .

  —This? Looks like a, what the hell is it. Coronal extension measuring tape, fit tape in groove behind head of organ and measure distance around . . .

  —No what I meant was, it’s a, I forget exactly what you call it it’s, there it is . . .

  —Don’t need this I suppose do you . . . the calibrated length of paper dropped to the wastebasket.—Now, this . . .?

  —Yes where it says Alberta and Western . . .

  —Debenture, series B debenture didn’t know they’d even brought out a series A. Never see a nickel on this one, wouldn’t fool with these people they’re worse off than your Eagle outfit there, now of course you understand I wouldn’t ask you to do something like this for nothing Bast.

  —Something like . . .

  —This music you’re doing for us yes, gives me a little chance to do my part for the arts too doesn’t it, might even be worth five . . . and he paused, gaining his feet with a look from collar to heel down the figure bent over the split portfolio jamming in papers,—might even be worth two hundred dollars to you, what would you say to that sir.

  —Well I . . .

  —Glad to be able to do it, help along a struggling artist you’ll want to take these along with you too . . . He freed both hands to scoop the slide transparencies into their box and reached for a button,—Shirley? Give Mister Bast a handful of stock powers on his way out here and, yes, you want me to open a discretionary account for your aunts here then, Bast? Just keep it in the street name save them a lot of bother . . .

  —Yes well however it’s done, I . . .

  —Put it out of your mind then Bast, get right down to your music, eh?

  —Yes I, I’d certainly like . . .

  —Might hear a sample in a day or two do you think? Yes and as you go out take a look at the dik-dik, little fellow right up there over Shirley’s head, give you an idea . . . He sank back to the chair and his fingers galloped across the teak, cleared the blotter’s green and sprang.—Shirley get me Doctor Handler on the phone here . . . his other hand dropped to the wastebasket,—yes and look in the Directory of Directors for somebody named Decker, W Decker, sounds familiar. And then get me Beaton up at Typhon will you? His hand came up trailing the calibrated length of paper and hung th
ere till he settled it as a bookmark.—Larry? Is, yes hello is the doctor in? Tell him Mister Craw . . . what? What do you mean call Tuesday, this is . . . No damn it I certainly am not a patient! Tell him this is his broker calling . . . yes! Yes hello Larry? Say, I think I can unload those old Eagle Mills bonds for you at eight or nine cents, pick up your tax loss for any . . . oh you did? Yes in that case I might be able to unload your Boston and Maines, probably get you twelve or fifteen on them, got somebody who seems to be looking around for those things yes, I’ll let you know . . . and again his empty hand stalked the green,—Beaton? Got me, Shirley? Got me Beaton? While you’re there Shirley see what the pink sheet has on Alberta and Western Power, thought they’d thrown in the towel, they . . . oh, Beaton? no but what the hell is this I hear about somebody bringing a class action against Diamond? Shirley . . .? You still on?

  —I have Mister Beaton for you Mister Crawley.

  —Well so do I, get off the line.

  —Hello?

  —Hello . . .?

  —This is Beaton yes I’m still on, what . . . certainly not no where did you hear . . . Of course I am yes obviously an action like that against the company would have come to my immediate atten . . . No no grounds imaginable it’s . . . definitely not no issuing a public denial would simply spread the rumor further and if it should reach Gov . . . yes especially at this particular moment oh and Mister Craw . . . in terms of issuing a denial yes I think it might be inadvisable to bring up the matter with Mister Davi . . . Exactly yes I think that’s precisely what we want to avoid, now . . . the Forbes piece? I did yes but I can’t get into it right now I’m . . . I will yes, goodbye . . . he pressed a button moving no more than the finger it took to do so,—Miss Bulcke? Will you please hold any calls unless they’re . . . thank you. I’m sorry Mrs Joubert I know you’re in a hurry and . . .

  —It’s all right no, I have to meet Francis, she said into her handkerchief—I . . .

  —Pardon?

  —I’m meeting Francis to take him to the Cloisters, she said suddenly loudly.

  —But, are you all right? has something happened?