Two Loves and One Decision

I would remember times when my sister and I would come home from school and she would bake us cookies and let us eat them before dinner, she would allow us to play an hour before our homework was done, yes indeed she was wonderful”. Josh said daydreaming. “She sounds like every kid dream parent”. Dan said smiling. “Well I don’t think she would have been that way but she knew she wanted us to have a nice time and enjoy ourselves as a family before my dad would get home from work, she knew most times he would come in and find something to argue about, she also knew once he was home that the true family time would be destroyed by his constant fighting, drinking and destroying the house with his over grown fits. Yep it was a living hell for me and my younger sister, I learned how to tell time before other students because I knew at certain times of the day when my dad would come home I would get beat for no reason, my mom would get verbally and physically abused, my sister was so nervous that she would go to the bathroom right in her bed, the only thing that kept her sane was the security blanket with all the ducks on it, yes I still remember her blanket, she carried it around every where, she even hid it so well from our dad that he gave up on throwing it out. My dad was a monster, I hated him so much, he hurt my mom so many times, me and sister would have night mares about him coming to get us in our dreams. Sometimes before my dad would come home my mom would take us in her room and we would all sit on the bed and just pray to God that he would do something special for each of us, it was our way of escaping. Our dad wouldn’t allow us to go to church so we would sneak the bible out of the back yard that my mom had hidden in her flower garden and she would read to us the different stories on how God would come and save the day for his people and after that of course we all would pray for something special, my mom, gee my mother would say the most beautiful prays sometimes, she would always ask God to protect me and Rebecca, she would ask God to let us become so successful that we would forget our pain, of course Rebecca would pray for toys and dolls and I, I would pray in my heart for a new daddy but one day all of those prays stop. “Oh wow, buddy I can’t even imagine what you went through, wow that is terrible. Dan said as tried to imagine the hurt his friend was going through. “So how did you become adopted, did your dad divorce your mom”? Dan said sitting straight up in his chair waiting on the good news. “No Dan my dad shot my mother and sister, what happen was my mother finally decided she wanted to leave my dad so she waited until my dad was sleep soundly and we all left quietly to walk to the nearest bus station to take a greyhound to my aunts house in Michigan the only problem was we never made it, my dad found us started to shoot at us and the next thing I know my mother, sister and I got separated. I went one way and my mother who was holding my sister at the time went another way, it was the scariest day of my life thus far, my dad ran in the direction of where my sister and mother were and two shots rang out, after that I didn’t hear anything from my mother, not a cry a whimper, no noise what so ever. Before my dad got to me the police was alerted and stopped him just in time but I ran away from him and the police, I didn’t want to take a chance and end back up with that monster again, especially by myself.” Josh said as he made a pot of coffee. “Gee Josh, I can’t even imagine, the nightmares you must have had but Josh you should have told me, we’re buds I would have never criticized you”. Dan said leaning forward in his chair waiting on Josh to give an answer. “I did want anyone to know and I have done well up until this point especially from the help of my adoptive parents and as much as I loved Rissa I couldn’t tell her either. You see the reason that Rissa and I broke up is because of my past”. Josh said as he sipped his coffee. Dan got up pacing the floor trying to pull together the pieces that still didn’t make since to him. “I am not following you”. Dan said confused. “You see Dan up until that point in the forest preserve, I believed in God, I just knew that God would rescue us from my horrible father but instead what happen, I was separated from my mother and sister, ran away from and stole, slept under bridges and ate out of garbage cans for over a month before being caught and placed in a foster home, finally I moved in with my aunt who later passed away shortly after moving in with her and then sent back to a foster home again ending up with my adoptive parents, I went through a lot for a young kid and I decided that God didn’t exist and he didn’t rescue us but sent us hurling through a living hell, everything I prayed for didn’t happen only the opposite, so I shut down and stop believing and that is why Rissa broke off the engagement”. Josh said as he finished the last of his coffee. Dan let out a long whistle and went over to the office window to ponder about the incredible story that Josh just told. “you know Josh, I haven’t gone to church in years, my lifestyle of going on nice trips, dating beautiful women and drinking and smoking cigars probably have something to do with that but you know I do believe in God and I have had some major problems in my life, like losing my brother Darren in that car accident ten years ago, you remember that one don’t you; if it wasn’t for family and God I don’t think I could have made it”. Josh couldn’t believe what he was hearing from his best pal Dan, God had taken his brother away and he still believed in him. “How can you even believe in God after that bro”? Josh said pouring another cup of coffee. Dan didn’t speak for a full two minutes, it seemed that he was remembering something important. “Josh, it took some time for me to trust God again after Darren died but after the support from family and friends and remembering all the other things that God has done for me and my family I started to believe, I don’t know why God took Darren I just don’t know but God is perfect and he doesn’t make mistakes because he knows everything that goes on in the earth, I learned that from my grandma and it stuck with me even until now but the important thing for me was to open up about it not shut down”. Josh stood up and closed his eyes while he drank his coffee for the second time and took a deep breath after his third sip. “I wish I could be as strong as you Dan but I am not, I don’t have the strength”. Josh sat down and clasped his hands together and held them over his head. “Dan I just found out my mother and sister are alive”. “Wow, are you kidding me, how in the world did you find that out”. Dan said shocked. “a detective came by my place and laid this information on me as I was on my way to work, he left his card with me in case I needed more information, Dan I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what is going on it’s like I’m in an upside down maze”. “Gee bro, I am real sorry that all this broke out this way but man bro look at this way now you know that your mom and sister are alive and now you can start to pick up the pieces of your life and get back with Rissa”. Josh turned in confusion. “How do you figure that one Dan”. Dan gave a slight smile and said “well now you got to believe in God, he gave you your family back”. Josh was getting upset because Dan was confusing him even the more. “Dan my man, your going to have to make some sense, what are you talking about”. “First of all God protected you mother and sister all of this time, here you are thinking that your mother and sister were dead and they are alive and healthy, second of all I recall you saying that you prayed that God would give you a new dad, well look he did just that, you lived with awesome parents, third I recall your mother asking God to protect you and your little sister and today both of you are alive and well; granted it may not happen in the way you wanted but everything worked itself out and seems like it is coming together”. Dan said smiling. Josh overwhelmed at the whole dilemma that he didn’t even recognized that out of all that he had gone through that something good did come out of this, he now know that his mother and sister are still alive and that he have a chance to see them again. “As much as I want to stay confused, mad and bitter about this whole situation, I really can’t Dan and now that you have made me realized that things in a funny way did come full circle again and I know now that my family is alive, maybe I can start to believe again”. Josh grabbed Dan by the shoulders and then clapped his hands together so loud it startled Dan. “Dan do you know what this mean”. Josh said excitedly. Dan shrugged his shoulders while standing in amaze
ment. “Dan this mean that I have a chance to get Rissa back, if I can now start to believe that all of this time my mother praying to God really was affective then why can’t I open myself up to other possibilities”. “Josh I am so glad that you are coming out of your funk, I am glad to have my buddy back”. Dan said as he shook Josh hand. “Dan I need a favor from you, I need you to take me to the police station so I can talk to the detective who stopped by this morning”. Josh said as he gathered some files and folders and headed for the office door. “Josh my man, no problem were best buds, just lead the way”.

  Another Great Date

  I found myself opening up again to someone I had not even notice all since I have been in this town but then again Josh kept my attention that I couldn’t pay attention to anything else. I don’t know what it is about Allen that is making me giggle inside, I didn’t even think that I would find anyone that was as charming and