Two Loves and One Decision

lemonade. Clarrisa found herself actually having a nice time, laughing and relaxing. It was just what she needed after three weeks of hoping and praying for Josh to realize that he would have to come half way but enough about Josh she just wanted to enjoy the nice lunch and Allen conversation on his trip to Italy. “Allen I don’t mean to interrupt you but I just wanted to say thank you for lunch, it is just what I needed”. “Clarrisa you don’t have to thank me it’s what I wanted to do for a long time and besides; you deserve to be spoiled good. Clarrisa found herself giggling again like a little school girl.

  LUNCH DATE TWO

  “Dr. Nichols this is a nice café, I never knew it was in the old town of Michigan City” Josh said as he enter in the café looking around. “I love this place; it has the best pasta and the best live bands at night”. Josh and Dr. Nichols were seated by the waiter only two tables away from Clarrisa and Allen and for a while Josh had not notice because his back was towards Clarrisa. “Wow she is a stunning woman, she reminds me of the woman that I am dating now”. “Oh, the woman that you neglected your client for”. Josh said as he turned around to see what the woman looked like. “I don’t believe it”. Josh said as he turned quickly back around. “Beautiful isn’t she but of course my eye is on the one that I have been waiting for”. Dr. Nichols said as he looked over the menu. “Doc! That’s her! The woman that I have fallen in love with and cannot get out of my mind, she is the reason why I’m seeing you, she is the reason why I want to do better”. Dr. Nichols looked slowly again at the woman and her date and then back at Josh. “I can’t believe she is on a date, we’ve only been broken up for little over a month!” Josh said as he tried to conceal his back to Clarrisa. “Well Josh, she does have to move on sooner or later, she actually is doing a good thing”. The doc said as he sipped on his ice water. “ Doc, your not helping me right now, this is suppose to be a breakthrough for me going to lunch with my shrink but instead I’m faced knowing that the woman that I love have decided to start dating again; I haven’t even started thinking about dating”. Josh said as he started to slowly tap his fingers on the table. “Josh actually this is a good thing, now it is time to see how well you can handle your break up”. “Doc, the whole reason for being in this little session here is to better myself so I can get her back”. “But Josh, you can’t expect her to wait around forever, especially since she doesn’t know whether or not you’re going to change”. Josh let out a long sigh, the doc was right, he couldn’t expose the truth to her, he couldn’t let her know his pass not now, he actually was doing very well with the doc but not that well were in wanted to let her know all the hurt he was holding inside. “Looks like the guy she is with just went to the men’s room, why don’t you take a giant step and say hi, it will be a breaking point for you to let go”. “Doc I’m not trying to let go, that’s the point, I want her back”. “Well, until you are over your past, this is a break-up”. “And why did I come to lunch with you again?” Josh said as he stood up and wonder why he had to get a shrink that needed a shrink himself. “Well here it goes”. Josh took a deep breath and took a few steps to Clarrisa table. “Hello beautiful”. Josh said as he gazed upon her beauty. Clarrisa was so caught up in her date with Allen she didn’t even recognize Josh voice. “Allen, you really are spoiling me to much today”. As she looked up and caught Josh face. She was totally stunned to see Josh standing there; handsome as ever. “Josh! What are doing here, I …” Clarrisa was at a lost for words, she just started to think of the possibilities of a new life without Josh and here he is standing inches away from her. “I am actually two tables down from you and well I thought I stop by to say hello…..so hello”. Josh said as he found himself feeling a bit confident. Maybe the doc had a good point. “Josh, I don’t know what to say, I…” Clarrisa said as she choked on her words. “Well saying hello would be a start”. Clarrisa laughed a bit, she considered that she had nothing to be nervous of, the two of them were broken up of course and she is seeing someone else for right now. “Hello Josh”. Clarrisa said smiling a smile of confidence in her. The silent between the two seem like it lasted for a long time, for a moment it felt like the two of them only existed in the café. “Clarrisa, I really miss you”. Josh couldn’t believe he broke down that easily and told her of his feelings that quick. “I mean it Clarrisa, I think about you night and day”. Josh said as he sat down in Allen sit. “ I see you’re here on a date, which of course I understand, I know you can’t wait around for me but I still love you and I think you still love me too”. He said as a reached for her hand. “Josh this is not easy for me but I can’t do this anymore, I need to move on and you do to”. Clarrisa said as she moved away her hand from Josh. “Are you happy Clarrisa”? Josh said as he leaned in for an answer. “She is definitely happy today”. Allen said as he stood by Clarrisa side. “Hope I didn’t take to long, I got a call about a shipment that was running late, Allen said”. Allen reached out his hand to Josh and for a minute Josh didn’t know if he wanted to shake his hand or punch the guy lights out, he was in fact dating the woman that he was still in love with”. “Josh”. As he held out his hand for Allen to shake, Josh really didn’t want to make a big scene; he wanted to keep his cool if he was going to try to get Clarrisa back again. “Well if you excuse me I guess I will go back to my table, you guys enjoy the rest of your day”. Josh said as he straightened his tie. Josh couldn’t believe he was walking away from the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, what was he thinking, he was so glad that Dr. Nichols was with him. He didn’t know if he wanted to thank Dr. Nichols or accuse Dr. Nichols for putting him in a very uncomfortable situation. “Well how did it go”? Dr. Nichols said smiling. “Doc, I felt like I lost a battle”. Josh said as he sat back down in his original chair. “It’s never easy but I think you actually did great and of course she is doing very well in her moving on with her life”. “I can’t stay here; let’s go doc”. “ Josh if you leave now, you not only lost the battle but the war…..look you have to accept the facts, she is moving on with her life but if you want her back then you have to accept it and then work on getting over your past, it’s the only way”. “Doc, I’ll give it a shot, if it means getting her back then that’s what I will do”. Josh said as he opened the menu.

  Clarrisa composure was still relaxed even though she knows that Josh had actually made her more tense than she really wanted to let on. “I take it that was your ex-fiancé Josh”. Allen said as he sipped his ice tea. “Yes it was and I am sorry, I had no idea he would be here”. Clarrisa said with assurance. “Please Clarissa you don’t have to apologize for him; if I was your ex- fiancé I would want to talk to you too, you’re a wonderful woman”. Clarrisa felt a bit of ease come over her after Allen spoke those wonderful words to her but deep down she knew she still loved Josh. “ Clarrisa, I know you probably still love your ex- fiancé and you don’t have to explain to me that you do or you don’t but I just want you to know that whether you decide to date me or not I totally respect you and your decision because I know I am right in the middle of you getting over him and starting a new chapter in your life, I just want to enjoy your company for now, besides if God says it’s a Go for us then let it be”. Allen said raising his drink as to salute a cheer. Clarrisa was very impress by Allen way of thinking and yes she knows he was a go between in her life but she didn’t want to stop seeing Allen though she felt strongly for Josh. “ Allen thank you for being supportive, you know I was going to ask to leave but since you made me feel so at ease; I have decided to stay, besides the pasta his great and so is the company”. Clarrisa said has she smiled and sipped her lemonade. Clarrisa was glad that she made the choice of going out with Allen, he express that he believed in God and that he was raised to know how great God is unlike Josh who rarely wanted to talk about God, even though she knew he would try for a moment just to make her happy. Yes indeed Allen was a man of God, very polite, sincere, understanding and a gentleman and yet she couldn’t get Josh out of her heart yet.

/>   MOVING FORWARD

  Rissa lunch date with Allen was the beginning of many opportunities of getting herself back on track, she knew it only took one date to get things going forward but no matter how much she convinced herself of this she thought about Josh even more but she knew she had to break this habit which is why she decided to go out with Allen again; poor thing he even knows that he is just the substitute of her lost but for some reason he don’t mind at least that the impression she gets. “So how was the lunch date”, Crissy said as she put back the new litter of puppies in the kennel. “Actually it was great, Allen was a true gentleman”. I said as I started balancing the books. “Oh he even stood his ground when Josh came over to the table and spoke to me”. “How in the world did Josh get involved”? Crissy said as she continued to clean up after the puppies. “I didn’t even know he would be there, he totally took me off guard but I remained calm, even though I was a nervous wreck”.