Find Me: Faeries Lost

  ***

  Gracefully, Pandimora rose from the bed, sitting up to stare at her reflection in a mirror. Frowning, she leaned closer, seeing a wavering image taking shape under the shining mirror's surface. She put her fingers against the mirror and into the glass as the face became clearer. It was her own face, but with the wrinkles of age. She frowned, surprised to see her face in such a way as she had never imagined it.

  "It's me," she whispered. The face rippled in the glass like a pebble cast into water.

  Emotions of fear and abandonment rushed through Pandimora as she thought of the loss of her family. Her parents, brother, and possibly her sister. She put a hand to her mouth, catching her breath.

  The mirror began to crack in small sections, and then it shattered, shiny glass covering her hands and wrists. She saw fires burning deep beneath the earth's surface. The core's heat encircled her as she entered a deep cavern, dark with curved stone ceilings, faces of the past painted high on the dark walls. Beautiful, sparkling crystals hung from the cavern ceiling. As she attempted to focus on her new surroundings, everything shifted and slid away. Pandimora shook the glass from her hands, stared at a spot of scarlet welling on the back of her hand. Blood of the fae.

  "Find the crystal lost to time." Irfin's voice wove around her. "You will have the answers you seek."

  Pandimora pinched her wrist and jerked as lightning crackled around her. Disoriented, she stared around the semi-darkened room, her gaze coming to rest on Drew, who lay beside her in the bed. A dream. She was in his bedroom and awake. It had been a dream.

  "Beneath the earth's surface," she murmured. Pandimora leaned toward Drew, his scent in her nostrils. This man, this human, had been in her heart through all the time she had known him. So many years she had watched his life and his struggles, and he had not known. She had tried to stay away.

  He'd loved a human, but something had fractured that relationship. And then Pandimora had come to sneak a peek into his life and found him once more alone.

  Drew was a man unlike any she had known in the faerie realm. To her, his essence felt so raw and physical, a light contained within a human frame. His sense of duty urged him to help her, but she knew it would be too dangerous. She wondered about her own aged face she'd seen in the dream. Was it an indication of a possible future? But how could that be? Faeries did not age as represented in the dream.

  Pandimora gazed across the room at the ice hitting the glass windows. The energy of the discord in the faerie realm affected the earth weather. She knew it would only get worse as time went on. Unless ...unless something occurred to calm the energy being unleashed. Was Lukais responsible for this abundance of chaotic energy or could it be her own tortured quest that charged the air as long as she remained here on earth?

  Pandimora saw the cavern from her dream. Irfin had urged her to find the crystal lost to time. Going too close to the earth's core would be dangerous, even for a faerie but if she could find the answers she needed about her family it would certainly be worth the risk.

  Pandimora twined her fingers gently in Drew's silky dark blond hair. Each time she left Drew the possibility existed she might not return. Might never see Drew again. The thought made her heart heavy.

  She touched her fingers gently to his jaw, saw the blue sparks where their skin touched.

  His eyes snapped open and he was alert and instantly awake. His eyes searched hers, feeling like a physical touch, then he glanced at the bedside clock. "I fell asleep. It's almost midnight," he said, stifling a yawn.

  She shook her head. "Drew, going back to the goblins now is no longer a concern. We faeries dream richly, and I have seen in my dreams where I need to go."

  "Aisywel?"

  "In time, yes." Lightly, she traced the groove of his lean cheek. "I must leave soon, but it would make me sad if I didn't do this now," she whispered, leaning down to touch his lower lip with the tip of her tongue. "I hope you don't mind if I kiss you." She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of touching him. "I wish to make love with you, but sadness fills me because it will never be more than this moment."

  Drew brushed his nose against hers. "And I'd love to make love to you, too, Pandimora," he said. He lightly gripped her hands. "What are you planning?"

  She kissed him to forestall more questions. "Intimate encounters are discouraged with those outside the world of the fae, but I cannot let this opportunity slip away." She needed to gauge his reaction. If he didn't wish to be with her, she would gracefully withdraw now.

  He sat upright, leaned back against the headboard, opening his arm so she could move into the shelter of that arm. His pulled her up against him. "That feels good," he said. "All I can think about is you, Pandimora. Even when I'm dreaming, I see you."

  "I feel the same," she said. "Knowing I must leave would hurt less, I think, if we didn't feel this attraction."

  His gaze sharpened. "Tell me what you're planning."

  She drew a deep breath, exhaled. "In my dream, I saw caverns. I can't explain the images, but I know I must go beneath the earth's surface, close to the earth's core." She felt his resistance, knew he didn't want her to expose herself to the danger. Before he could voice the resistance, she said softly, urgently, "Drew, wouldn't you do the same for your family -- do whatever you could to learn the truth -- at any risk to yourself?"

  "Yes, but I don't want anything to happen to you. I worry you'll disappear into some dimension and be lost forever. It's not like I can just come and find you." He sighed. "But I also understand about family."

  "It has been a difficult time for you, Drew, learning of dimensions you never knew existed. Being attacked by the elder."

  He nodded, but he also grinned. "Yeah, but the up-side is, I get to hold a luscious faerie in my arms."

  "I am enjoying being held in your arms." Even if it's only once. She pressed her cheek against his chest.

  "You should be some guy's love," he said gruffly. "Cherished and protected. But lately it seems you're doing the protecting, yanking me from the clutches of goblins."

  She enjoyed the contact with his warm skin. Pandimora had never felt cherished in her life, but now she began to understand what it meant to experience such an emotion.

  "I love being here with you Drew. It's almost like we're insulated from the storm outside here inside this room. I feel safe and protected." Her mouth turned down. "I know it's an illusion but for right now I'd like to cherish these moments, let the illusion play itself out. Sometimes, faeries can be too plodding in their approach to life. I'd like to set aside who we are in our own respective worlds and just now be a man and a woman who are attracted to each other." She ran a hand lightly up his shoulder. Drew leaned down to her and kissed her mouth, the slight scratch of his chin against her cheek.

  "I need a shave," he said ruefully, rubbing the stubble on his chin.

  Pandimora smiled, not minding at all. "It creates abrasion," she said. "Watch the play of light between us." As she rubbed his whiskered cheeks Pandimora read the wonder in his eyes at the blue glow that began to build around them.

  "Our interactions have been muted up to now," she said, gently playing her fingers through the blue light. "I have to warn you this energy flow could become very intense." Even now the light moved along the walls.

  "I'll handle it," he said, moving to lie flat on his back. He held his hand out for her to join him. Gracefully, she sank into him, twining her arms around his neck. "Drew, that first night when we exchanged energy was a mere shadow of what can happen between a human and faerie."

  "If it's anything like when you pulled me away from the goblins -- I know you're very strong." He lifted slightly away and worked his shirt over his head, exposing his bare chest. Fascinated, Pandimora placed both palms flat against his chest, her fingers splaying through the light sprinkling of silky hair.

  "You are very strong in your world," she said admiringly, lifting her gaze to meet his. "Faeries are strong but quite different." She frowned. "Perhaps I
have always been attracted to you because I'm part human." She shrugged. "I don't know. We do share common ancestry."

  "Irfin mentioned something about that." He touched the back of his hand to the soft skin of her cheek. "Your eyes are like this incredible well," he added. "I feel as if I could get lost in them." He half closed his eyes, inhaled. "Irfin said --" he gave a half laugh. "Never mind. I love your scent. All I can think about, looking past your gorgeous blue irises, is that I'm seeing something inside you no man has ever seen before."

  "That's the magic of the fae. Do you wish to know how your scent comes to me? It is earthy, like the early sun-warmed soil of Aisywel." Her nostrils flared. "Your scent reminds me of the things I love about my home. A place that kept me grounded for many years, but a place as delightful and full of mystery today as when I was a small child. It always enfolded me gently in its arms. Even when I practiced rebellion and knew I was different from other faeries, it was still the home in my heart. You, Drew, invoke that same type of feeling inside me. So many years I wondered how you lived, how your life here progressed, and from time to time I would come to the earth realm to peek in on your life after you no longer saw us."

  "My life was good for many years, Pandimora, but there were equally dark years."

  "I know. Even though I only visited from time to time, the knowledge of your life was available to me."

  "The dark years were in my short marriage to Deborah," he said, reserve in his voice. "You know?"

  She shook her head gently. "No, that would be an intrusion upon you. But at times I was aware of your earthly pain."

  Drew took a deep breath. "Deborah -- my wife, wasn't well. She threatened many times in our four years together to take her life. We separated many times, but I'd always rush to her when she threatened to take her life. The last time I didn't get there in time."

  Pandimora gently touched his arm.

  Drew pulled back slightly. "I feel a sense of responsibility for her death," he added bluntly. "I left the police force due to money she had embezzled in her job as an accountant. I tried to get her professional help but she didn't want it."

  She shook her head. "No one is responsible for the actions of another."

  "Irfin said the same thing. I tell myself that but it doesn't lessen the guilt."

  "It sounds like Deborah had extreme sadness."

  "That's what her doctor said, but it didn't make it any easier." He looked at her curiously. "Can you see into our future?"

  "The future as you understand it does not exist in reality, no matter how much you might wish for it. All time happens as we exist here now. What you think of as the past is playing itself out, as well as what you would call future events. However, life in this realm is very uncertain, and now I feel the same about my beloved Aisywel. I never imagined I would be cast away from the only home I knew. I can only hope my home survives the rebellion I fear is coming." She dropped her pensive thoughts and smiled instead. "But for now, I will kiss you here." She pressed her full red lips to his and the sensation created stirrings of desire within her belly. "And here." She kissed the corner of his mouth.

  His fingers slid through her hair, still damp with the blue mud and she laughed. "I am still marked by the blue soil of Isidghe."

  "Blue looks good on you," he said, smiling. He pulled back slightly. "I want to be honest. I don't know where this will go, if anywhere. I'm still putting the past to rest. Both of our lives are in upheaval."

  "I understand, Drew, but it is my choice now isn't it? If you are willing to let me make love to you?" She hesitated.

  His arms squeezed her to him, then he dropped his mouth to hers, tracing the outline of her lips. Pandimora closed her eyes at the delicious rush of sensation throughout her body. Her breath caught. So much emotion ... spirals of desire curled through her body, alerting nerve endings. She just wanted to be close to him, her hands on his body and his on hers. How she had longed for this! This might be the only opportunity for them to be together.

  Drew stood, his mouth leaving hers. He straightened and his hands went to his belt. Pandimora dropped her feet to the cushioning rug, stood on tiptoe and then putting her arms around his neck, she lifted her legs and put them around his hips, hooking her heels behind him.

  Drew cupped her buttocks, lowering his head to kiss her once more. She put her head back as his mouth traveled down her neck, hardly able to breathe, the sensation was so electrifying.

  Gently, Drew flaked dried mud from her cheek and turned to walk across the bedroom, Pandimora still latched onto him.

  Drew opened a door and entered a large bathroom; toilet, sink and a grand ivory colored bathtub. She unhooked her heels and slowly lowered herself down his body, her toes curling into a thick soft rug the color of scarlet fireflies.

  "Would you like me to run a hot bath?" he said. "We can get rid of the mud."

  She smiled with surprised delight. "Like the hot springs?"

  "Yes."

  Pandimora hugged herself. "I would enjoy that. And will you be in the springs with me?" she asked hopefully.

  "If you want me, I'm there."

  "Yes." Pandimora removed first the borrowed pants and then the shirt.

  "I guess faeries don't wear underwear," Drew muttered. She stood naked, her arms by her side, displaying no false modesty or embarrassment. Eagerly, she stepped toward him. Drew pulled her close to him again, sliding his palms over her skin. "I feel like I've found something precious," he said. "I won't ever want to let you go."

  Pandimora didn't want to let Drew go either but they both knew circumstances could pull them apart.