Wicked Need

  I have no words.

  No comeback.

  Certainly no argument.

  My gaze drops to the floor as I can't bear to have Callie see my own mortification at being so stupid.

  I do trust Rand. Clearly trust his reasoning better than my own, since my head seems pretty fucked up these days. But more importantly, if I just let go of my notions of inferiority, and for the briefest of moments, suspend my own self-doubt, I can admit to myself that Rand seems to think I'm pretty great as is.

  So why shouldn't I?

  My eyes snaps up, pinning Callie, who's looking at me expectantly. "I'm a fucking idiot."

  She bursts out laughing, throwing her head back and revealing beautifully straight, white teeth. I can't help it... I laugh too. We stare at each other in amusement as our laughs turn to chuckles, and then finally recede into a sheepish smile from me and a happy smile from Callie.

  "Okay, my job here is done," she says proudly, leaning in to kiss my cheek. "I expect to hear all the nitty-gritty details about how you and Rand make up, and you can't spare any of the sexy stuff either."

  I snort. "He's got to show back up in town for that to happen."

  "I'm sure he'll be back soon," she says, and something about the look on her face makes me do a double take.

  "Wait a minute... do you know where he is?" I ask suspiciously.

  She doesn't say anything for a moment, and I think she might deny it, but then she sighs and shrugs her shoulders at me. "Actually, I do know where he is, I do know when he's coming back and no, I won't tell you. That's for him."

  "But--"

  "Now, I really have to go. Lots of stuff to do today," she chirps at me, brushing by me to the front door.

  "But--"

  "Later, Cat."

  The door opens and then closes behind her quickly, and I realize that Callie just came over here to help pave the way for Rand's return. She was gauging the situation and was bound and determined to do her damndest to make sure my head was on straight when he showed up on my doorstep.

  Shaking my head and smiling to myself, I walk up to the front door and peek outside the rectangular pane of glass that sits to the side. Callie gets in her car, a sassy little BMW, and pulls out of my driveway.

  Damn, I'm glad she came by.

  I start to turn away, but movement catches my eye. I watch as another vehicle pulls in. I don't recognize it... a nondescript black four door with a Wyoming plate on the front. The late afternoon sun hits the windshield at just such an angle that I can't see who it is. My gut tells me it's Detective Blanton, and I get excited that he may have news for me.

  I'm surprised when after the car comes to a stop, the passenger door opens first. A man gets out and takes a look around the front yard. He's probably in his mid-forties with dark brown hair, tall, fit, and reasonably attractive. The driver's door opens and my jaw drops open when I see Rand get out. He says something to the other man across the top of the car, who nods in return.

  Both men close their doors and start walking up to the house, and for the life of me, I have no clue what's going on.

  Rand walks up the porch steps first, and just as his foot hits the top landing, I open the door. His gaze snaps to mine and lights up with joy to see me standing there. I have a flood of warmth and happiness course through me as I realize how much I've missed him in the past few days, and how much I just want to throw myself into his arms.

  But he brought company and that holds me back.

  I look to the older man again, and note he has brown eyes and olive-toned skin. He gives me a cautious smile, and when he does, I note he only has one dimple popping on the left side.

  Huh, just like me... only one dimple working.

  Just. Like. Me.

  I tilt my head, looking at him closer.

  It can't be.

  It just can't.

  I turn my head slowly back to Rand and look at him... my eyes pleading with him to tell me who this man is.

  "Cat," Rand says quietly as he nods to the stranger. "I found your father."

  Chapter 25

  Rand

  Goddamn, she looks gorgeous. Wearing a pair of faded jeans ripped at the knee, a sweatshirt, and fuzzy socks. Hair pulled up in a ponytail and not a lick of makeup on her face.

  And now she looks woozy, her legs buckling slightly when I reveal that I found her dad.

  I step forward quickly, put my arm around her waist, and hold her tightly. Turning her toward Allen, I watch as her eyes roam all over his face.

  Slowly... taking in every detail. Probably comparing the arch of her eyebrows to his, or the way their noses tilt slightly upward at the end. I took one look at Allen Henning when I tracked him down to Fayetteville, North Carolina, and I had no doubt he was Cat's father.

  That was three days ago. Bridger worked his magic and found out that Sergeant Major Allen Henning retired from the Army just this year after twenty-five years of active duty. He never returned to Green Bay, instead settling in Fayetteville as he'd spent almost as much time there as he had growing up in Wisconsin. Allen had married a local girl and they had two children, a boy age fifteen and a girl, age eleven.

  I left my Suburban in Vegas and caught a flight to Raleigh, North Carolina. Once there, I rented a car and drove the hour and a half to Fayetteville. I had no clue how Allen would receive me because I knew very little about the character of this man, but I didn't let that hold me back. I made it to his house at dinnertime as he was just setting down with his family to eat.

  He was gracious but didn't invite me in. Instead, he stepped out onto the front porch into the air that was still quite warm and humid in early September.

  I didn't hold any punches because I knew I'd found the right man. "Mr. Henning... I'm in love with a woman who I believe is your daughter."

  He blinked at me in surprise, but he wasn't pissed, and that started to clue me in to the man's character. "Excuse me?"

  "Back in 1990, you briefly dated a woman named Trish Lyons."

  His eyebrows furrowed inward as he flipped backward in time and then his nose wrinkled slightly. "Yeah... we were together a few months. She sort of dumped me with no explanation. Hadn't thought about her in years actually."

  "Well... she was pregnant when she left and didn't tell you about it. Went back to Vegas and had the baby. A girl named Catherine."

  To give the man credit, he stayed upright although his face went ghostly white. "I have a daughter?"

  "Yes," I told him with a smile. "She's twenty-four. She's also sweet, amazing, and gorgeous. She had a shitty life. Yet, she still turned out amazing. She had no one her entire life who she could count on, and her mother always told her you abandoned them. I sought you out to see if that was true, and if it wasn't, to give Cat a little piece of her heritage."

  "I never would have abandoned her if I'd known," he whispered roughly.

  "I know," I told him. "I can just tell you wouldn't."

  Allen then invited me in. He called his wife, Marsha, into the living room where he recounted to her what I'd just told him in a quiet voice so the kids wouldn't hear. She had the same stunned look, but then she immediately became concerned about Catherine the way Allen had.

  I then got invited to dinner, but we agreed not to say anything to the kids. Allen felt that was a conversation he and Marsha needed to have with them after they learned more about Cat.

  So I sat at the dinner table with the Henning family, and I learned all about them.

  And they are fucking phenomenal. Cat is getting ready to inherit a dad who is eager to make up for lost time and a stepmother who is ready to dote on her. Allen told me this morning when I picked him up at his house to make the trip here with me that the kids were over the moon to learn they have a sibling.

  Today has dragged by so slowly, flying out of Raleigh to Dallas, and then into Jackson. Allen and I have spent plenty of time the last few days talking about Catherine. While I haven't told him any details about her life with Sa
muel, I told him everything I knew about the way Trish raised her. To say that Allen wanted to make a side trip to Vegas and give the woman a piece of his mind was an understatement.

  I also watched Allen grieve today while we sat in Dallas on our layover. It hit him all at once... he missed twenty-four years of his daughter's life. Missed changing her diapers and her first steps. Teaching her to read and how to drive a car. Missed threatening the first boy to take her on a date, and while Cat ultimately married poorly, he missed his opportunity to give his daughter away. I have to say, it's awkward watching a grown man get emotional, and mainly because my fucking eyes misted up too as he talked about all the shit he missed out on.

  And now here we stand with Cat looking like she's about ready to pass out and Allen looking like he's going to vomit if someone doesn't say something fast.

  So I step into action, my hand gripping Cat at her waist. "Cat... baby... this is your dad, Allen Henning. Lots to explain, but first, he never knew of your existence until I showed up on his doorstep three days ago."

  Cat's head tilts as she looks at him, almost as if she's afraid to ask even the first question for fear of being crushed. So he decides to take matters into his own hand and simply pulls her into his arms for a hug.

  She goes willingly, her arms wrapping around his waist and her cheek pressing into his wide chest. They sway back and forth, gripping each other tightly. Cat with her eyes closed but tears still dribbling out and flowing down her cheeks. Allen with this temple resting on top of her head, his eyes also closed, and the happiest, most peaceful and serene smile gracing his lips.

  I could stand there all afternoon and watch Cat just hugging her father, but she's the first to pull back. She looks up at her dad, who gently wipes her tears and then turns her gaze to meet mine. "How? How in the world did you find him?"

  "I paid your mom a visit," I say simply, but there's no way in hell I'll admit I paid the woman for the information unless Cat asks me point blank.

  "She'd never give that information up," Cat says as she narrows her eyes at me. "How much did you pay her?"

  Well, fuck.

  I duck my head, think about lying, and then finally look back at her with a grimace. "A lot, and it was worth every penny. Let's leave it at that."

  She nods, but I know she's not letting it go. She's merely deferring the discussion until she can get me alone, not wanting any unpleasantness to ruin this moment. I take the opportunity to fill her in as succinctly as I can, figuring Allen can do the rest.

  "Your mom told me that she dated Allen briefly in 1990 while she lived in Fayetteville, North Carolina with a friend," I begin.

  Cat's eyebrows jump upward. "She lived in North Carolina?"

  I nod. "Briefly. Dated Allen and got pregnant. Left and went back to Vegas without telling him."

  Cat's gaze swings back to her father's. "You never knew about me?"

  "Never," he says fiercely. "And if I did, I would have never let you go. Never."

  Fuck... okay, that's getting to me.

  Getting to me even more to see Cat's eyes fill up with bright, shining tears of joy. Time to lighten the mood just a bit.

  "So, okay... how about you two move the party inside and get to know each other?" I say, taking Cat's arm and turning her toward the door. I clap Allen on the shoulder and pull him along.

  Cat opens the front door, steps into the foyer, and turns to welcome us both in. Allen crosses the threshold as she smiles at him with absolute eternal hope on her face. Her eyes slide to me and she motions with her hand to invite me in.

  I shake my head. "Uh-uh. You two need alone time. You have lots to talk about."

  She cocks her head at me, but I don't stick around. I nod at Cat's father with a smile before turning to jog down the porch steps. Allen and Cat have a lot of catching up to do. I've come to learn a lot about this man and his family the last two days, and Cat needs to hear it all from him as well. She also needs to decide how much of her past she wants to share with him, and that's a private matter that I don't need to impede on.

  As I reach the rental car--my mind suddenly trying to figure out if I should fly to Vegas tomorrow to get my Suburban, which means I'd incur the wrath of Pish if I don't get my ass back to work--I hear Cat call out, "Hey... Rand... wait up?"

  I turn to see her coming down the porch steps, her dad standing in the doorway with his hands tucked in his pockets, watching us carefully. I didn't hold anything back from Allen. He knows I love the hell out of Cat.

  "What's up?" I say casually, not really knowing where Cat's head is at. Bridger told me she left my apartment and moved back in the house. He told me all about Cat quitting her job with Callie and the police suspecting Kevin but not able to do a damn thing until they find the attacker.

  Cat comes to a stop a few feet from me, looking uncertain. I hate that. I want her to feel free to jump in my arms, but she's just been given a shock, and things between us are unstable at best. So I give her a friendly smile to encourage her to speak.

  "Looks like there wasn't a will that cut me out," she tells me as she sticks her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and rocks on her feet nervously. "Richard called me... told me to move back in here and that Kevin was going back to Vegas."

  My gaze flicks to the large house and then back to her. "I get it... who wouldn't want to live in that?"

  She winces slightly but doesn't engage in the very awkward conversation that would ensue about her moving out of my apartment while I was gone. Instead, she says, "Detective Blanton interviewed Kevin. He thinks he was involved with my attack, but Kevin won't admit anything."

  I nod. Bridger had kept me in the loop. "Bridger's buddy, Kyle, came through. Identified the guy who attacked you. It wasn't sanctioned by the MC, so they're going to share that info with the police. They'll put a warrant out for his arrest."

  Cat's gorgeous mouth forms into an "O" of surprise. "I didn't know that."

  "Well, hopefully, they'll find the guy quickly and he'll roll on Kevin. Then you can put all of this behind you."

  She nods, gaze dropping to the ground... clearly indecisive about what to say. When her face lifts, she turns to look at her dad standing in the doorway waiting for her, and then back to me.

  "I can't believe you went to all that trouble for me," she says quietly and with such earnest gratitude, I actually feel a little hot under the collar.

  My gut says to play it cool with her, but fuck that... I missed her too much and I want her to know that this isn't over between us. "I'd do anything for you, Cat. Come find me when you're ready, but for now... go get to know your dad. He's a great guy."

  Her eyes shimmer as she smiles at me brilliantly. She inclines her head to me... a silent gesture of acceptance and pleasure over my words... and turns to race back to the house like a little girl who is having her first Christmas. I watch until she hits the porch. Her dad moves to the side to allow her to come through, and they link arms as they turn to go inside. When the door shuts, I get in the rental car and head home.

  Chapter 26

  Cat

  It's been a week since Rand brought my father to me. Since that amazing man went out and tracked down the missing puzzle piece in my life. I didn't realize how badly I needed that piece until it was presented to me.

  I'm not sure I'll ever be able to adequately convey to Rand what that means to me.

  Did to me.

  The way it changed me.

  Not many people can really understand my background. It's hard to comprehend what it does to the human spirit... the belief that someone doesn't want you. I knew my mom didn't want me, and I only had her telling me my father abandoned me to complete my familial unit.

  I told my father everything during his visit.

  And I mean everything, even down to telling him about Samuel and how he used me. I didn't give him vivid details, but I gave him enough that my dad started crying, which made me cry too. He then assured me that he wants me. That even when he didn'
t know I existed, he wanted me. That was lovely, and I cried harder.

  My dad then pointed out that given my history and not having the most important people to depend upon--that being parents--he said it was no wonder I accepted what Samuel wanted of me as his wife. He thought it spoke to perhaps my inherent need to be wanted, even as vile as the circumstances were. He reiterated to me something that Rand has said on more than one occasion... that I was a survivor.

  The five days I had with my dad were not nearly enough. We spent every moment together, just talking endlessly. We had twenty-four years of catching up to do. While my life's details were not easy for him to take, I reveled in hearing about his. He was a career Army man and a true hero. I apparently have amazing grandparents back in Green Bay that cannot wait to meet me. His wife, Marsha--my new stepmom, so weird to say that--is the freakin' bomb. We've talked several times by phone and she's everything that my mother was not. I also had a tentative talk on the phone with my new siblings. My brother, Jared, is fifteen and really into soccer. This was an awkward conversation because I know nothing about soccer or fifteen-year-old boys, but in the end, it was okay because he said, "I can't wait to meet you, Cat," and that made my day.

  Now my sister, Natasha, is a spitfire at age eleven. I do know something about eleven-year-old girls so we talked about music, Snapchat, fingernail polish, and boys, not necessarily in that order, and well... mostly about boys. I did this while my dad listened in on my end of the conversation and rolled his eyes, muttering, "I don't want to know about this stuff."

  It was a perfect five days.

  I was completely reborn, and I say completely because the process started before my dad came back into my life. I realize now that process started the night Rand found me in my car and made me start believing in a better life.

  And now I stand outside Rand's apartment, wondering how I can take this last piece of my life's puzzle and snap it into place so that my existence will be as close to perfect as a person can hope for. I wipe my hands on my skirt because they're sweaty from nerves and take a deep breath, trying to will my heart to slow the hell down.

  Rapping my knuckles against the door twice, I listen intently. I can hear him walking, hear the creaking of the floor on the other side of the door, and then he's standing there in front of me, looking better than ever. Blond hair falling over his forehead and he pushes it back, giving me a lazy smile. He stretches his other hand out high to grab onto the doorjamb, which raises his t-shirt up slightly so I get a peek of his stomach. I can't help it... my eyes fall and stare, and when my tongue pops out to lick my lower lip, Rand gives a husky laugh.