Losers Weepers

  “I want to feel you inside . . .” she said, her words broken by whimpers. She circled my lap harder, hinting at what she wanted.

  “Baby, I can’t. You know . . .” If I could have given her that, I would have. Even if I’d had to make another deal with the devil and handed over my soul in my next life too.

  She shook her head against me. Another whimper rolled from her mouth when my finger circled a certain part of her. Winding her finger around a couple of mine, she slid them down, stopping just outside . . .

  “I want to feel you inside of me.” Her voice was the firmest I’d heard it since entering the shower. Lifting her hips again, she slipped my fingers inside her, moving them in and out until I picked it up on my own.

  “Damn, Joze,” I said, moving inside her in just the way I knew she liked when she was about to come. She was so wet and warm and fucking hot that my breathing hit a point where I wondered if hyperventilation was on the horizon . . . but that didn’t slow me down. Instead, it encouraged me.

  “You didn’t fall in love with me because I was nice either.” Another just barely detectible smile tugged at her mouth, but it fell into something more dramatic when my pace increased.

  “Joze, baby, come.” My fingers curled deeper into her chest. “Come for me. I want to feel you come around me.”

  She might have been a strong person, the toughest woman I’d ever met, but not even Josie could have held on for another second. Her body went rigid against mine, a scream starting small and growing louder until it echoed around us, and I felt her muscles tighten around me in quick, tight beats.

  Her orgasm seemed to tear through her twice as long as it had before, and after she collapsed back into my lap with a satisfied sigh, she tilted her head back to look at me. The smile on her face even touched her eyes. She stroked my cheek with her thumb, threading her fingers through mine once they were free.

  I kissed her again, this time a bit more softly, almost sweetly. When I ended it, she looked as surprised as I did that I was capable of such a kiss. “I love you, Josie Gibson.”

  Her smile stretched. “I guarantee not as fucking much as I love you.”

  “WE’RE LATE.” JOSIE checked the time on the dash for the hundredth time and gave her truck a little more gas. The big diesel engine growled louder as it sped down the highway. “We’re really late.”

  I twisted in my seat so I was angled her way, unable to look at her without images from the shower both of our hair was still wet from spilling into my head. “Is that why you can’t stop smiling?”

  She looked at me from the corner of her eye, warning me, but even with that, her smile didn’t dim any. “I’m smiling because we’re getting out of the house and going on a date with two of our best friends.” Her forehead lined when she checked the time again. “Two best friends who are hopefully very forgiving when it comes to us being late.”

  “You’re the one who shimmied into the shower in the first place, so you only have yourself to blame.”

  She let out a sharp huff. “Well, you’re the one who wasn’t in a hurry to leave the shower, so I have you to blame too.”

  “Hey, we made a deal. I agreed to soap you clean after the filthy things.” I shrugged, just smiling when she threw me a smirk.

  “If I would have known how many filthy things you had planned, I would have set a time limit with that deal we struck.” She shifted in her seat, making the hem of her sundress rise a little higher.

  After staring at the exposed skin of her thigh for a few seconds, I lowered my hand and ran my fingers across her skin. “I’ll keep that in mind the next time I’m thinking about making you come three different times.” When she glanced at me again, I wet my lips and gave her an evil little smile. “Three different ways.”

  Like that, her whole face changed. “Did that sound like a complaint?” She shook her head. “Because it wasn’t. It definitely wasn’t,” she added when my thumb crept a little higher up the inside of her thigh.

  “Glad we got that cleared up because if my dick remains MIA, you’ll have to tackle the duty of orgasm-ing for two. That’s a big responsibility.”

  “Let me assure you I am more than up to the challenge of that big responsibility. In fact, I can’t see making anything a bigger priority than devoting myself to this daunting challenge.” When she peeked over at me again, we both laughed.

  That moment should have been frozen in time, encapsulated in the tombs of this world’s most perfect moments—making love to Joze followed by laughing with her. Some might have argued that perfection was a fallacy, but that was only because they hadn’t experienced moments in their lives like I’d had with Josie. They were fleeting and over far too quickly, but that didn’t change the fact that I’d experienced more moments of perfection than a man like me was owed.

  “You can ease off on the gas though, Joze. It’s okay.” I slid my hand down her leg so I was cupping her knee. If I went any higher past that hemline, we’d wind up rolled over in a ditch. “I sent Jess a text when we finally pried ourselves out of the shower letting him know we’d be late. He said they were running behind too, so there’s no need to worry about best friends turning into enemies if we show up thirty minutes late.”

  Josie whipped her truck into town, barreling at fifty down a road marked with a twenty-five MPH speed limit. “Well, thank God, because we’re closer to being thirty-five minutes late.”

  From the look of the parking lot in front of the steakhouse where we were meeting Jesse and Rowen, the place was packed. Not a big surprise since it was a Saturday night and Boundary Steakhouse might have been the best place a person could sink their teeth into a good steak this side of Chicago. We’d been there enough times since I’d started making good money riding—because no ranch hand’s wages would cut it at Boundary more than once or twice a year—that Josie whipped down the alley and headed for the back parking lot only known by the staff and regulars.

  Finding a spot for her monster-sized truck was a challenge wherever we went though, and tonight was no exception. When she’d suggested applying for a handicapped parking pass, I pretty much asked her not to bring it up again because I didn’t need or want another reminder of just how much of a gimp I was, a special blue tag hanging from the rearview mirror of my girlfriend’s truck included.

  Josie grumbled when she found this parking lot almost as full as the one in front. When she noticed a space that might have fit a Prius, she gave the steering wheel a twist.

  “Yahoo!” she cheered as she angled the truck into the space.

  “Eh, Joze, the truck might fit, but how are the people inside going to crawl out?” I asked, bracing myself for the sound of a side-view mirror being ripped off.

  “We’ll get out on your side,” she answered, looking out her side window before glancing out mine. “I left plenty of space on your side.”

  Actually, she had. There was enough space for a person to get in and out, which must have meant . . . “And how’s the person on your side supposed to crawl into their car?” I asked, eying the scant four inches of space separating Josie’s truck from the sedan parked beside it.

  “That’s Joe’s car,” she said as she turned off the engine and fired off a text to Jesse and Rowen letting them know we were here.

  “Who’s Joe?” I noted the hint of sharpness in my voice.

  So did she. Josie was used to me being a jealous, possessive SOB most of the time, and she made sure she called me on it every time too. Lifting a brow, she ran a finger down the center of her chest. “My lover.”

  “Funny.” I gave her a look which she laughed off.

  “Joe’s the assistant manager, Garth. You’ve met him, for crying out loud. We’ll be out of here before he has to try to scratch his head and figure out how to crawl inside.” Josie nudged me when the look stayed on my face another moment.

  “I don’t know. The last time the four of us got together, I think they had to ask us to lock up when we finally left.” I unbuckled my s
eat belt as she crawled across the bench.

  When she reached for the door handle, instead of pushing it open right away, she straddled my lap before sliding her knee between my legs. Gently circling it around my zipper, she winked at me. “Can I return the favor? We’re already thirty-five minutes late. What’s another five?”

  I should have felt something firing down there. I should have felt my dick swelling from just the thought of what she was suggesting. If I could have gotten any harder, I would have just reached it when she wet her lips and reached for my zipper. If I were the whole man I had been a couple weeks ago, I would have answered her question by guiding her head lower and braiding my fingers through her hair as she . . .

  I shook my head to clear it and lowered my hand to where hers was currently freeing me from my zipper. “Joze . . .” I swallowed. “We both know my dick might not be able to appreciate that gesture like it used to, but shit, my eyes will enjoy it if he can’t.” Her smile spread before her head dropped, but my hands cupped her head, lifting it back up. Her confused expression might have made me laugh if this hadn’t been so damn tragic and pathetic. “But before we give that a try, I’m going to need some time to wrap my mind around it. More than five minutes, if you know what I mean.” I shifted, wondering if I could be any more uncomfortable talking about this. “It’s going to take a little getting used to him not working . . . or cooperating . . . when, you know, you’re down there. I’m pretty sure our first try or five are going to be awkward as all hell, and I’d prefer not to make it even more awkward by having a few-minute time constraint in some back parking lot.”

  Josie’s hands moved from my zipper to my face, cupping each side before she lowered her forehead to mine. “It might be awkward to you, but do you see me flinching?” Her brown eyes stared into mine with such intensity the breath I was taking caught in my throat. “I still love you. I still want you. In all of the ways I wanted you before.” She kissed the tip of my nose. “So if you need to have your awkwardness, you can have yours, but don’t try to assign any to me, because awkward is the furthest thing from what I feel when I’m with you, Garth.”

  The tightness in my chest released, and I could breathe again. I kissed her back but on the lips. “My God, Joze. You’re the best damn woman God had the audacity to go and create. How did I end up with you?” I hadn’t intended to voice that question. Yes, I pondered that more times during the day than I didn’t, but it was something I preferred to keep to myself.

  “I ask myself that same question about you every day. So when and if you find the answer to yours, will you let me know so I can find the answer to mine?”

  I chuckled and drew my thumbs down her jawbone. “The cab of this truck is filling up with so much sappiness I think it’s about to start breaking through the windows.”

  Josie shoved my chest but laughed. “You’re right. We’ve reached sickening levels of sappiness. Fresh air is definitely in order.” Giving the handle a pull, she swung the door open and started to crawl out, but as she swung her leg over my lap, her boot caught on the back of my knee.

  “Ah, crap,” she shrieked as she tumbled out the door.

  “Joze!” I tried to grab her arm or her hand or something to keep her from spilling to the gravel, but I didn’t move fast enough. I couldn’t move enough of my body to save her.

  Splayed on the gravel outside the truck, she lay there, looking at me with a surprised expression before a smile moved into place, quickly replaced by a laugh that didn’t end. She was laughing so hard her stomach was bouncing and tears started falling from her eyes.

  “Why are you laughing, crazy person?” I asked as I tried to swing my legs out the door to help her up. Her truck was so lifted that even if I could have leant all the way over and extended my arm to its full reach, I still wouldn’t have been able to reach her. If I tried crawling out of the truck, I’d end up in the same mess she was, so I had to just sit there and watch Josie laid out on the ground from the fall I couldn’t save her from or even help her up from, laughing as though she’d lost her mind.

  “Ouch,” she said around her laughter, rubbing one of her elbows.

  “Are you okay?” I leaned down a bit farther, but it still wasn’t enough. “Why are you just lying there laughing?”

  That made her laugh harder. “I think you gave me one orgasm too many. I’m officially drunk on climaxes. You’d better take my keys and call a cab.” Lifting her arm, her keys dangled from her fingers.

  “You are certifiable, Josie Gibson.” I shook my head at her, but even me in all my helpless glory couldn’t keep from laughing with her.

  “Josie?” A voice carried across the parking lot from the back of the restaurant before I heard footsteps rushing our way. “Shit, Josie. What happened? Are you okay?”

  I recognized the voice before its owner broke to a stop in front of us. Out of all the people in the world I would have liked to come to our rescue, Colt Mason was somewhere at the end of that line. Colt lowered his arms to help Josie up, and his brows came together when she just lay there, still laughing.

  “Are you drunk?” he asked.

  Of course that only made her break into another round of laughter, so Colt glanced at me for an answer.

  “Don’t ask,” I said, not sure how to cross that bridge. Colt and I had figured out how to co-exist living in the same small town after feuding over the girl I wound up with, but that was only because he lived in a different part of the country for half of the year, soaking in the California sun, and the other half, I spent on the road, traveling from rodeo to rodeo. We hadn’t been within arm’s reach of each other since Jesse and Rowen’s wedding. The night I’d essentially confessed my love to his date.

  “Josie, come on, let me help you up.” Colt seemed almost nervous around me, as though he was looking for a distraction and peeling Josie from the gravel was it.

  When he went to give her a lift again, she waved away his assistance and got up on her own. As she dusted herself off, I was finally able to reach her. Pulling her close, I turned her around to inspect her for damage. She had a few small scrapes on the back of her elbows and a dusty backside, but she’d survive.

  “Nice move there, Grace,” I muttered, smacking at her backside to get the dust off and . . . well, because Josie Gibson had the finest ass in this county and the next one over. Ask any guy who’d seen her in a pair of tight jeans, and he’d confirm it.

  “Nice save there, superhero,” she threw back, letting me pull her into my arms when we were done cleaning her off.

  I pinched at her side while Colt shifted in place, looking as though he didn’t know what to say or do next. For a show pony like Colt Mason, him not knowing what to say or do might have happened once every solar eclipse or two.

  “Hey, Black. How’s it going?” Running a hand down his hair, he extended his other hand in my direction.

  From the way Josie peered back at me, she was as stumped by Colt’s bury-the-hatchet approach as I was.

  “It’s going . . . good, Colt.” I shook his hand, feeling about as awkward as I’d probably have felt if Josie had gotten her way in the truck and had her head buried in my lap. “How are you doing?”

  Josie chewed on the inside of her cheek, probably because she knew how I felt about Colt and that this conversation was about as forced as they came.

  “I’m good,” he said with a nod, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Thanks for asking.”

  Josie sounded like she’d just choked on a laugh. I twisted at her sides so she knew I’d detected her amusement and I wasn’t as amused.

  “I’m good too. In case anyone wants to know,” she said, shoving at my hand that kept pinching her.

  When Colt’s gaze drifted to my legs and tried to look away just as quickly, I got why the out-of-character nervousness and stilted conversation was taking place. “Yeah, so I went and got myself paralyzed,” I said, hacking through the ice with a machete. I motioned at my legs. “You know, in case you hadn’t no
ticed. Or hadn’t heard yet.”

  Josie leaned into me, slipping between my legs and draping an arm around each of them. I loved how she was behaving as though I was the exact same man I’d been when I could have stood toe-to-toe with Colt Mason. I loved how she was draped around me like she’d never been so proud of me. I loved how she’d never once treated me like the handicapped person everyone else seemed to see.

  “Oh, yeah . . . I heard about that.” Colt kept rubbing the back of his head. If he wasn’t careful, he would rub it bald, and then what kind of magic would the hairstylist he had a standing appointment with do? “I’m sorry, man. Damn, that sucks.”

  “Why yes, Colt, yes, it does suck not being able to move anything from my hips down,” I said dryly.

  He swallowed, no doubt putting himself in my shoes. For the first time in his life, Colt Mason looked almost pale. “It sounds like they don’t know for sure if it’ll be permanent though, right?”

  Under my breath, I muttered a curse on town gossips and their relentlessness. “They also don’t know for sure if world peace will ever become a reality. But it sure as shit isn’t anything to hold our breaths for.”

  Colt lifted his brows and looked around. I’d tongue-tied him twice in only a few minutes. Go me.

  “Can I help you out or anything?” He motioned toward Josie and me, glancing into the bed of the truck where my wheelchair was folded up. “I was just getting ready to head in for dinner with my family, so I’d love any reason to be late.”

  Josie beat me to the shaking-our-heads punch. “No, thanks. We’re good.” She leaned farther into me, getting comfortable.

  Colt’s head tilted. “Come on, Josie. You might be one tough cookie, but how are you going to lift a guy who’s got a solid fifty pounds on you from that giant truck?” Colt started reaching into the truck bed. “I’m here. At least put me to use.”

  “Could you not stay here please?” I said just low enough for Josie to hear. That earned me another elbow into my stomach.