If I’d Known

  I shove hard at his chest. "Get off me!"

  Joey rolls to the side, not resisting. Realization and shock flash across his face. His mouth drops open, but nothing comes out. I stand, adjusting my shirt and snatching my shoes.

  "Lana!" Joey calls to me, his tone laden with panic. "Don't go."

  But I'm already storming away, rage pulsing through my veins. I can feel the muscles along my neck protruding.

  "Lana!"

  I focus on the pool, blocking him out. He'd better stay the fuck away from me. If he follows me or tries to touch me, I swear I will castrate him.

  "Hey!"

  My footsteps stumble. The voice is deeper, not Joey's. I turn and am blinded by a bright spotlight.

  "Stay right there."

  I don't have to see to know he's a police officer. So ... I run.

  "Stop!"

  The pool seems so fricken far away right now. And when I'm halfway there, I watch Parker, Lincoln, Tori and Nina scramble up and out of the pool. They grab their clothes as they run for the fence. The spotlight veers away from me for just a moment to illuminate them. It gives me the second I need to push into the hedges along the side of the clubhouse.

  I hear the police car pull out of the delivery area. I consider running for it, but by this time, the four of them are already disappearing into the trees. I can't see what's on the other side, but I have to assume it's where Parker left his car.

  As much as I don't want to, I look back to where I left Joey, but I don't see him. A second later, I hear the Jeep start up and pull away. Where's he going?

  I'm about to step out of the hedges, not sure where to go, when the police car comes into view again at the pool side of the clubhouse, its spotlight shining on the blue water. I shove back into the hedges, scraping my arms against the prickly branches, just as the light swings up, sweeping along the golf course toward where Joey and I were on the green.

  I hug my knees to my chest, trying to make myself as small as possible when the light passes in front of the hedges. I close my eyes, afraid to even breathe. When I open them again, the light is gone and I exhale. I wait for what feels like an eternity before poking my head out. The police car is pulling away, its spotlight still searching the area as it turns onto a road on the other side of the trees. It doesn't stop. Parker must have driven off, which means ... they left me.

  I stay in the hedges another couple minutes in case the cops decide to circle back. This is pathetic. They really have nothing better to do than to chase after skinny-dippers on a Friday night? Considering we're in Oaklawn, that's probably a major offense.

  When I finally emerge from the confines of the hedges, my legs and arms are streaked with fine red scratches, and I'm covered in green needles. Pulling the elastic free, I shake out my hair, tiny green slivers raining down. When I secure it back on top of my head, I realize my headband's missing.

  "Shit," I grumble.

  That's one of the few nice things I own--an heirloom from my mother that my grandmother gave to her. I try to retrace my steps, searching for it, but it's too dark to see anything in the grass. Giving up, I decide to walk back toward the pool, just in case Joey is parked somewhere near the delivery area or comes back there to get me. I'd rather walk back to Sherling than get in the car with him.

  "I love you?" I growl, the words inciting a rush of riotous fury. "What the fuck?"

  I can't believe he said that. Those words. The worst of all lies.

  I clench my fists with my shoes dangling between my fingers. "I love you?!" My stomach rolls and bile rises in the back of my throat.

  I can't believe I let him touch me. That I thought for a second that he was actually a decent guy. So stupid!

  When I reach the road on the other side of the trees, it's deserted. The street is lined with huge houses with lanterns lit on either side of their doors and at the end of their driveways. The front lawns and hedges are perfectly trimmed, just like the golf course, but no one's on the street. I walk in the direction of the road leading to the main street. The entire time, I'm hexing Joey and every other guy who has ever used those words to seduce or manipulate a girl.

  I'm halfway down the road that divides the golf course when headlights flood the dark. I am completely exposed with nowhere to hide. But right now, I don't care if I'm picked up by the police. My feet hurt. I'm cold. And the anger has drained all the life out of me. This night honestly can't get any worse.

  The car slows as it nears. It's a gold or tan-colored Land Rover. I keep my head down and continue walking past it when it stops across from me and the driver's window rolls down.

  "Lana."

  I pause and lift my head.

  "Get in."

  I stare at Parker for a second before crossing the street toward him, my shoulders slumped in defeat. I open the back door, expecting to find the car full, but it's empty.

  "Sit in the front," he instructs.

  I close the back door and climb into the passenger seat. "Where is everyone?"

  "With Joey. I met him on the side of the road. He said you were still here." Parker comes to a stop at the intersection with the main road and looks at me. "He said it'd be better if I came to get you. The girls were starving, so they went with him. They said to meet them at Stella's."

  "If he's going to be there, then just take me home," I tell Parker.

  Parker pulls onto the main street, his car still the only one on the road. "What happened?"

  I stare at the same encroaching dark forest as before, unable to look at him. "I don't want to talk about it."

  "He didn't hurt you, right?" Parker says this like even the idea of it is impossible.

  "No," I huff. "He's a liar. Just like everyone else."

  Parker doesn't respond. Neither of us speaks as he drives through Oaklawn, eventually crossing into Sherling.

  "You don't lie."

  I turn my head, his words cutting through the prolonged silence. "How do you know?"

  "I remember you telling me once that you don't lie--ever. And ... I believe you. You've never lied to me, even when I wished you had." He releases a low chuckle. "You really don't, do you?"

  "No, I don't," I reply simply.

  "Then can I ask you one question that you promise to answer?"

  I shift in my seat so I'm angled toward him, intrigued by the request. This could be dangerous. But Parker doesn't exactly seem like the kind of guy who wants to explore the depths of my soul. If Joey had asked this, my answer would have been an automatic no. I narrow my eyes, considering Parker's motive.

  He grins when I hesitate. "It's just one question, Lana. How bad could the truth be?"

  I lean back against the seat. "If I agree, what do I get in return?"

  Parker laughs. "What do you want?"

  "Stop hooking up with Nina," I tell him without thinking. And I'm not sure why this is my demand. I don't want him, and I'm not jealous of them. But it's something that's always bothered me. Perhaps because I know how toxic they are together, and I want better for Nina. And maybe for Parker too.

  "Done," he answers immediately. "I'd actually already decided that earlier tonight, so your wish was kind of a waste. So that means I get to ask you anything, and you have to tell me the truth."

  I exhale in resignation. "What do you want to know?"

  Parker flashes me a wily grin. "I didn't say I was going to ask you now. I think I'll save it."

  I roll my eyes. "You're so dramatic."

  Parker laughs. "Always."

  The streetlights of Sherling fill the darkness. Cars and buses pass on either side of us. Exhausted, I half-focus on the closed storefronts hidden by graffiti-tagged gates and the people loitering outside of the few bars that are still open.

  Parker pulls into Stella's pocked dirt parking lot. I scan the cars in search of Joey's Jeep.

  "He's not here," Parker assures me. "I texted him to go."

  "Thanks," I say softly, unclicking the seat belt. "Well, I'd say it was fun, but it
wasn't."

  Parker gives me a sympathetic smile. "I was serious earlier when I said I got you, Lana. I do. Anytime you need me, I'm here." He opens up his console and pulls out my phone. "You have my number now. Use it anytime."

  "You hacked into my phone?" I narrow my eyes. He smiles wickedly. "You're trouble."

  Parker smiles wider, not denying it. I realize a second too late that I'm staring at him, lost in his seductive smile. His hand brushes against my cheek, tucking loose strands of hair behind my ear. I pull away when his thumb caresses my lower lip.

  He grins. "We will happen, you know."

  I release an exasperated sigh. "Really, Parker?"

  I shove open the passenger door with an annoyed grunt and slam it behind me. It's not until my bare feet make contact with the rocky ground that I remember my shoes are in his car. But he's already pulling away. I hold my hand up to stop him just as a truck pulls out and blocks me from view.

  I tap on my screen to call him; it's dead. "Of course."

  I delicately navigate the terrain on the balls of my feet, grimacing in pain with each stone-ridden step. I squeeze past the drunks waiting in line to get in and pop out on the other side with a heavy breath.

  Tori and Nina are easy to find halfway down in a booth, giggling uncontrollably. Nina has her wet hair braided to the side while Tori's is pulled back in a knot at the nape of her neck. They look like they've had the best night. Their table is littered with a half-dozen plates of pie slices in various stages of consumption and a large red plastic cup of Coke in front of each of them. I consider leaving, not wanting to ruin it.

  Tori stops laughing when I come to a stop next to their table.

  "Lana! Holy shit, where the fuck have you been?" she exclaims, jumping out of the booth and wrapping me in a quick, tight embrace.

  I hug her back, inhaling the sharp chlorine scent on her skin.

  She steps back and scans me. "You look ... horrible!"

  I blink.

  "Omigod," Nina gasps. "What happened to you? Did you get in a fight?"

  I stare at her, confused. She's staring at my chest.

  I look down, unable to see what she's focused on. But I do see the angry red scratches marring my arms and legs. "What?"

  "You have a bruise," she says, gently touching my collarbone. It's tender but not bad. It must be from when Vic pinned me against the wall. "Seriously, what happened to you?"

  "Can we sit?" I ask, so tired, I feel like I might fall over.

  The girls slide back into the booth, and I slip in next to Tori, slumping down against the cracked vinyl.

  "So?" Tori demands when I don't start talking right away.

  I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I have no idea where to even start.

  "What happened with Joey?" Nina blurts.

  I close my eyes and groan between clenched teeth. "I never want to see another Harrison ever again. Not a single one of them. Ever."

  "He didn't do that to you, did he?" Tori asks, ready to be just as pissed off as I am.

  "No. This is courtesy of Vic." I focus on Nina. "Did you give him back his gun?"

  "What?!" Nina replies, shocked. "No way. It's right ... " She shuffles through her satchel. Her eyes narrow in confusion as she starts dumping items on the table. "I swear it was in here." She looks up, at a loss. "I have no idea where it is."

  "He has it," I tell them. "Stupid fuck. Did you see him when you left?"

  They both shake their heads.

  "What did he do to you?" Tori asks.

  I grind my teeth together, knotting the muscles in my jaw. With a shake of my head, I rake a hand through my loose bangs.

  "Lana," Nina implores, "you have to tell us. You know we'll protect you no matter what."

  "Let me think about it," I tell them, needing to figure out what could potentially happen if they knew.

  I don't want to risk them being involved if it goes to shit. I have no idea if Allie really is okay. Or if that screaming girl told anyone what she saw. Hell, Vic could claim to be a witness to me pushing her, and I have no way of proving that I didn't. Telling Nina and Tori could put them at risk. I don't trust Vic not to go after them, especially if he thinks they may be a threat.

  "Can we go home?" I ask with a heavy sigh. "Every inch of me either hurts or is covered with dirt."

  "Lana, where are your shoes?" Nina exclaims with a laugh.

  "In Parker's car. I took them off when I started walking back from the country club."

  "You really are having the worst night ever," Tori declares.

  "You have no idea."

  Chapter Ten

  "She isn't your curse." I keep my eyes shut at the sound of my grandmother's voice. "You can love her."

  "I'm trying," my mother whispers. "But every time I look at her, I see the truth, and I know I've lost him."

  "Not because of her," my grandmother says gruffly.

  "Yes," my mother counters sadly, "because of her."

  "Here," Nina says, holding out a pair of sparkly black flip-flops.

  "You have flip-flops in your purse?" I ask incredulously.

  "You try wearing stilettos for hours. Of course I carry around a pair of flip-flops. They've saved me more times than I can count, and now, they're saving you. So, you're welcome."

  "Thank you," I say, apology in my tone. I slide my feet into them and am grateful for the gargantuan purse Nina lugs around with her everywhere.

  We step out of Stella's and start walking across the parking lot.

  "My place?" I confirm.

  The girls nod, knowing I'm within walking distance. The walk isn't nearly as shady as a bus ride at two o'clock in the morning.

  Tori hands me my leather jacket, and I happily put it on. "Thanks."

  "Parker says we're done," Nina announces.

  I try to read the emotion behind the declaration but can't. At least Parker told me the truth.

  "Are you okay with this?" I ask delicately.

  She shrugs indifferently. "You know he doesn't mean it. But whatever. He's kind of a slut, and he definitely doesn't respect me. So he can go to hell."

  I laugh.

  "What did Joey do?" Tori asks. "He a slut too?"

  "I don't know," I tell them, "but he is a liar."

  Tori sighs, shaking her head. "So no more Harrisons." She pauses and bites her lip. "Except ... I'm going out with Lincoln again ... so you may have to tolerate Joey. But I'll try to make sure it's from a distance."

  I study her curiously. "You're serious about Lincoln? You really like him?"

  A girlish smile emerges. "He's so nice. And his body? Un-be-lievable."

  "At least one of us ended up with a good one," Nina says. We round the corner and start down my street. "I think we need to visit the 'party in a bag.' I remember seeing a joint in there, and we could definitely use it."

  "Definitely," I agree adamantly, searching my pockets. I pull out the switchblade, wishing I'd had it earlier in the stairwell with Vic. And then I pat the inside pocket and reach for the small plastic bag. Before I can put the switchblade back in my pocket, a car pulls up beside us.

  "Lana Peri?" a deep booming voice confirms.

  Instinctively, Nina rolls her hand beneath mine, removing the knife from it and slipping it in her purse. A beam of light blinds me just as I drop the bag of drugs to the ground and step on them.

  "What was that?" a female voice asks. A car door shuts.

  I raise my hands in the air to show that they're empty, familiar with the routine.

  "Are you Lana Peri?" the guy asks again.

  "Yes," I tell him, shielding my eyes from the flashlight.

  "Take a step this way."

  With a sigh, I do.

  The female officer snaps a pair of rubber gloves over her hands and picks up the plastic bag. "Looks like you've been having an eventful night, Lana."

  "Step behind the vehicle," the male officer instructs.

  "Are you ladies with her?" the female asks Nina and T
ori.

  I silently connect with them, and they know what I want them to do.

  "We just got here," Nina tells them.

  "What are your names?" she asks, setting the drugs on the trunk and pulling out paper and a pen to write them down.

  I don't hear what else they say because the male officer's voice is too loud in my ear.

  "Place your hands on the trunk. We're arresting you for possession of narcotics. Do you understand?"

  I nod.

  The female officer comes around behind me while the male officer drops the drugs into an evidence bag. "Do you have anything sharp on your body before I pat you down?"

  "No," I answer flatly, staring at the back window, shutting every emotion down.

  My face doesn't flinch with the slightest expression. I don't move when her hands pat down my body, tucking her fingers along my waistline. This part is never fun. She grips my wrist and brings it behind my back.

  The weight of the cool metal settles around my wrists as the handcuffs click, tightening. I turn my head away from the flashing lights as the male officer grips my arm, moving me toward the open door of the police car.

  Tori stands next to Nina, biting her lip. Nina has her arms crossed, wearing a defiant scowl. I want to assure them that I've got this. That everything's going to be okay. But I don't know if that's true. I have no idea what I'm being brought in for, other than possession. There could be so many reasons they were looking for me--theft, assault, armed robbery, trespassing or, depending on who's been talking, attempted murder.

  The officer places his hand on the top of my head as I duck down. And that's when I see the red Jeep pull up in front of the house next to us. A phone to his ear, he stands up on his seat so I can see him.

  He mouths the words, Keep your mouth shut.

  Not a problem. I don't plan on confessing to anything. Even if I did do it.

  I watch Nina and Tori disappear in the distance with Lincoln and Joey by their sides, staring after the police car. Usually they'd be asked a lot more questions. Thankfully, the cops are only interested in me and chose not to call backup to bring the girls in too. I don't dwell on it, although their rush to take me in should concern me.

  The ride to the station is uneventful. As is the booking process.

  I don't know how long I've been in the holding cell, shivering on the slab that's meant to be a bed, when a balding male cop finally unlocks the door.

  "The detectives have some questions for you," he tells me.