Distraction

  “We didn’t know,” Mom murmurs, and I look at her.

  “That’s my point. You guys as parents should have wanted to know what was going on, how we were doing. Not, ‘They will find their own way.’ Even when I sent you letters explaining things that were going on, you weren’t there. You two just live here in your little bubble, where nothing ever penetrates. It’s not fair to me, and it it’s not fair to Morgan.”

  Turning when I hear Morgan’s whimper, I watch tears fall from her eyes and her body shake.

  “We’re sorry you felt like that way,” Dad says gruffly, and I hear a sound of distress come from my mom as she gets up and moves to Morgan, wrapping her in a hug.

  “I can’t do this alone, Dad. I’ve been doing it alone for too long, and I can’t do it anymore,” I whisper, and his hand comes across the table and I place my hand in his.

  I don’t know if things are going to change, but I really hope they do.

  Chapter 8

  Sven

  Second chances

  “I fucked up,” I mutter as soon as Asher answers the phone.

  Asher has been my best friend since I was ten. I would hide out at his house every chance I got. He knew what was going on with my mom, was there when shit went down, and his parents took me in while my dad recovered in the hospital. He’s the best man I know, a man I respect and a man who laughed his ass off when I told him months ago that Maggie was driving me to the brink of insanity.

  “Give me a sec,” he mumbles, and I hear him moving around. I’m sure he’s in bed with his wife, November, or has one of his girls close and is trying to get away so he can talk. Hearing a door open on his end, I wander into the den and take a seat in the dark, feeling my nostrils flare when I sit on something hard and know it’s one of Maggie’s books.

  When Justin called and told me that Maggie was with her sister, I didn’t even think, or I did, but none of it was good. All I kept seeing was my dad, his constant excuses for my mom’s behavior, what that led to. It’s not an excuse for my behavior, but it’s the truth. By the time I realized what the fuck I did, what I asked Maggie to do, it was too late.

  “What happened?” Asher asks, and I press my fingers to the bridge of my nose, trying to get my thoughts in order over the pain in my chest.

  “Maggie and I got together a few weeks ago.” I tell him, realizing how long it’s been since we last spoke.

  “We both knew that was coming,” he mutters, not sounding at all surprised. “That doesn’t explain a middle of the night phone call, unless you’re calling so I can congratulate you on finally pulling the stick out of your ass.”

  “Fuck,” I curse under my breath, feeling pain slice through my chest, the same pain I felt when I saw tears in Maggie’s eyes and heard her soft words.

  That’s not love, Sven. You asking that of me is not love.

  She was right; me asking that of her had nothing to do with love.

  “What did you do?”

  “Told her to choose between me and her sister.”

  “What the fuck, man?” he rumbles, sounding pissed.

  “Yeah.” I agree.

  “Jesus, you seriously fucked up.”

  “I already know that. Now I need to know what the fuck to do to get out of this mess.”

  “Where is she now?” he asks, blowing out a breath, and I know he thinks I’m as fucked as I think I am.

  “At her parents’.” When she left, I had Justin follow her to make sure she was, and still is, safe. I wanted to go after her, but after what happened, I didn’t want her to spot my car, get pissed, and get hurt while trying to get away from me.

  “Can you go there?” he asks quietly.

  “Not sure how that’s gonna go over, and not sure I want the first time I meet her parents to be the same time I’m dragging her kicking and screaming from their house.”

  “Kicking and screaming?” He chuckles, but I’m not joking. If I got there and she refused to come home with me, I’d bring her back with me no matter how that came about. “You’re not joking.” His laughter dies and I shake my head, even though he can’t see me do it. “You call her?”

  “Yeah, voicemail.”

  “Christ, man.”

  “What the fuck do I do?” I growl, standing from the couch.

  “Go get her,” he states softly. “If it was November, I’d go get her ass and bring her home. No way I’d let her stew on that shit.”

  “You think that’s the right move?” I ask, already heading for the door.

  “You love her?”

  His question has my hand pausing on the handle, and I drop my head forward and close my eyes. “Yeah, man,” I mutter, feeling a pain in my chest at the thought of her not being mine, of losing her.

  “Go get her, plead your case, and bring her home.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  “Anytime, you know that.”

  “Yeah, man,” I agree, hanging up the phone. Getting in the car, I have no idea what the fuck I’m gonna say when I see her. I just hope that whatever I come up with is enough to convince her to give me a second chance.

  Pulling onto the side of the road, I watch Justin get off a Harley and do a double take. The kid who once looked like a high wind would blow him over, now looks like he could take Teo on in a fight and would come out on top.

  I roll down my window when he gets close, and he grins as I ask, “You start doing steroids?”

  “Seven-Eleven,” he replies, ignoring my comment. “Good to see you, man.” He places his hand out toward mine and I shake it once.

  “She still at her mom and dad’s?” I ask, and his face changes.

  “Yeah, she’s still there. All’s quiet.”

  “Thanks for looking out, man.”

  “You know I got your back, just glad I was in town and could help.”

  “You didn’t tell me you we’re still searching for her sister.” The call from Justin telling me Maggie was with her sister was unexpected. I didn’t even know he was in town, let alone following Morgan.

  “I was working a separate case and spotted her, followed her then saw she was with Maggie and called you.”

  “What case?” I ask studying him and seeing something’s off.

  “Talked to Kenton and Kai. Shit’s going down with Paulie,” he says effectively changing the subject.

  “Fuck,” I rumble, squeezing the steering wheel.

  “Go get your girl. The guys will be in town in a few days. We’ll figure everything out then.”

  “Not looking forward to that,” I tell him something he already knows as I look out at the empty desert beyond my windshield.

  “We’ll probably set up shop at Kai’s place. He’s got the best location and the best security. The women can all stay there while we figure out our next step.”

  Rubbing my forehead, I wonder how the fuck this is gonna go down. We all knew things would come to an end with Paulie, but none of us thought it would be happening this quickly. “Just go get your woman, and the rest can wait.”

  “You going back to the city?”

  “Yeah, I have a few things to take care of before everyone gets to town.”

  “Don’t go off half cocked, Justin. Wait for us to meet.”

  “What do you take me for?” he asks, taking a step back, holding his arms out at his sides.

  “What the hell happened to you?”

  His eyes go darker, a darkness that comes from seeing too much, doing too much. I don’t know what the fuck happened to him, but something flipped in him. But right now, I don’t have time to talk to him about it.

  “Go get your girl,” he rumbles as he hits the hood of my SUV once then walks back to his bike and throws one leg over it. He starts it up, the loud rumble sounding through the quiet desert as he takes off.

  Turning down the dirt drive toward Maggie’s parents’, I see houses scattered here and there, and lots of green houses between them, along with pens holding goats, chickens, cows, and such. I know fr
om rumors that this community sticks to itself, most people living off the land or using the barter system to live among each other. They make their own rules and don’t accept outsiders often. When I turn down another dirt road, a two-story house appears in the distance. The bright blue color stands out, even in the dark.

  Pulling in a deep breath, I let it out and stop in front of the house. The moment I park, the front door opens. As I hop down from the cab, a woman who looks like an older version of Maggie steps out onto the front porch.

  “Are you here for my daughter?” she asks in a soft voice that reminds me of the way my mom used to sound when I was a kid before she stopped taking her medication.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “She cried herself to sleep. Didn’t think we could hear her, but the house is old and I heard,” she says as I step onto the bottom step.

  Rubbing my chest over my heart, I’m at a loss for words.

  “My MoonPie is tough, always has been,” she says quietly, looking over my shoulder. “I don’t know what happened between you two. She didn’t tell us anything, but I know she must love you,” she whispers studying me.

  “Maisy,” a man calls, stepping out on the porch, stopping when he spots me. Just from looking at him, I know he’s Maggie’s dad. They have the same eyes, and the same expression when they’re pissed, which he obviously is.

  “Who are you?” he demands, letting the door slam close behind him.

  “Sven, sir.” I take the last two steps up the porch and stick out my hand. His eyes drop to it then lift to look at his wife.

  “Go inside, Maisy.”

  “Monroe.”

  “Go inside, check on Morgan, and make sure she’s okay,” he tells her, and she looks at me then at her husband before nodding and heading toward the door, stopping when she has it open an inch.

  “I hope to see a lot more of you, Sven,” she says quietly before disappearing inside.

  Monroe’s eyes go from the closed door to me and he nods toward the desert as he takes the steps down the porch. Maggie told me her parents were hippies, but I’m not getting the peace, love, and happiness vibe from her father. In fact, he looks ready to commit murder.

  I follow him into the sand and dirt off the side of the house, where he stops and places his fists on his hips. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to bring Maggie home,” I tell him honestly. There is no sense in lying about what’s gonna happen, and whether he likes it or not, his daughter is going home with me.

  “You know about what’s happening with her sister?” he asks, and guilt assaults me when I answer.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “You’re the man my baby girl’s been living with?” he asks, locking his eyes on me.

  “Yes.” I nod, shoving my hands in the pockets of my slacks.

  “Figured,” he mutters, looking me over, and for once in my life, I feel unsure and on edge. I’ve never sought approval from anyone, never given a fuck what anyone thought of me, but standing outside of Maggie’s parents’ house with her father’s eyes on me, I hope he sees something worthy of his girl. “She’s upstairs. Tomorrow, her sister’s going into rehab, so I ask that you both stay here until she’s there.”

  “I’ll do that,” I agree, and his eyes move over me again.

  “Are you a model like my girl?” he asks, and I smile for the first time in hours.

  “No, sir, I own a club and have a few other businesses around Vegas.”

  “Good,” he murmurs then walks off, leaving me standing while he heads toward the house. “You coming, or you gonna stand out here all night?” Without a word, I follow him into the house. “She’s upstairs, second door on the left.” He dips his head toward the stairs.

  “Thanks,” I tell him, seeing his wife come to his side, wrapping her arm around his waist.

  Heading up the stairs, I stop outside the door then push my way through. The room is dark, but I can still make out Maggie’s outline on the bed. Taking off my suit jacket, I place it on the chair then kick off my shoes and socks, strip off my shirt and pants, and then go to the bed. I pull back the blanket and settle myself in, pulling her against me and feeling her wet cheek hit my chest.

  “Wha—” she whispers sleepily.

  Rolling her to her back, I cover her mouth with mine and her arms wrap tightly around me for a moment before moving to push me off. Pulling her arms above her head, I hold them there and whisper, “I’m so fucking sorry, baby,” against her lips. “I was a fucking dick, and you didn’t deserve that.”

  Turning her face from me, she sobs, and that sound cuts me. Placing my mouth near her ear, I tell her softly, “I love you, Maggie, so fucking much. The idea of something happening to you kills me. I’m a selfish fucking bastard when it comes to you, baby.”

  “Shut up,” she whispers through her tears.

  “So fucking sorry,” I repeat, dropping my forehead to the side of her head.

  “You—”

  “I know,” I agree without knowing what she’s going to say. Crying harder, her fingers wrap around mine and I kiss her forehead, cheek, and neck then let her hands go and roll to my back, pulling her up my body. Her face presses into my neck and tears wet my skin as she cries.

  “You let me down when I needed you,” she breathes when her body has stopped shaking and the tears have died down.

  Fuck.

  “I know,” I agree, and her arm moves from where it was tucked between us to slide over my waist. Feeling her settle into me, my body relaxes. We lay there for a long time in silence before I finally ask, “Why’d you lie?” Her body tightens, and she goes to pull her arm back, but I grab her wrist and hold it in place against my abs. “I won’t be pissed. I just need to know so it doesn’t happen again,” I tell her gently, using my free hand to run my fingers through her hair.

  “You hate my sister,” she whispers, and my muscles lock.

  “I don’t hate—”

  “Every time I mention her, you get a look on your face.” Her cheek moves against my chest and her hair slides over my skin. “It’s not a nice look.”

  “I don’t hate her, Mags. I worry about you and what will happen if you let her in again. There is a difference.”

  Her head lifts and she looks down at me. “Because of your mom?”

  “Yeah.” I nod, wrapping my hand around the back of her neck under her hair.

  “Our stories are not the same, honey,” she whispers with concern in her tone. Lifting her hand, she places it against my jaw, and her fingers trail toward my chin. “I hate what happened to you. I hate it and I’m so sorry.”

  Closing my eyes, I let her words settle through me and her touch heal a wound I didn’t even know was still wide open. Only she could do that; only she could heal me with a touch and a few soft words.

  “I love you, Sven. I know I shouldn’t have lied about meeting up with Morgan. I don’t know that she’ll get better, but I know I love her enough to want her to have the chance to get help.”

  “Family,” I whisper, and her face goes soft. She’s right; family does that kind of shit and our stories aren’t the same. My dad fucked up, even after he was released from the hospital. He tried to plea for my mom’s return home. Thankfully, the judge sent her away to a place where she wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone else. On weekends, my dad would go stay near the facility to spend time with her, and when I graduated high school, he moved to be closer to her. Every time my father left me to be with her, my resentment grew a little more.

  If I was honest, I felt abandoned. To this day, we talk rarely. He checks in sporadically, and I do the same. Our phone conversations are never long, neither of us willing to talk about the shit that’s bothering us.

  If it weren’t for Asher’s family, I wouldn’t understand the way family worked. I wouldn’t know that parents, real ones, never turned their backs on you. They didn’t push you aside to get what they wanted or needed. I wouldn’t know that family stuck by you. No matter what,
they didn’t abandon you; then again, I knew how badly I fucked up with Maggie when I asked her to choose me, testing her loyalty instead of doing what she needed me to do.

  “I should never have asked you to choose.”

  “You shouldn’t have. I understand why you did, and that killed me, but even knowing it’s just a hope that Morgan will get help, that hope is enough for me to want to help her.”

  “You should feel that way. She’s your sister,” I tell her, and she presses a kiss to my chest then lays her head back down.

  “How did you know I was here?” she asks after a long moment.

  “A friend of mine followed you.”

  “Seriously?” she asks, lifting her head once more.

  “Yeah, I was gonna, but didn’t want you to spot me and do something stupid that would cause you to end up getting in a wreck in that death trap.”

  “I’m a good driver.”

  “Baby, you almost ran me over then pulled out on the road without even touching the brakes.”

  “I was upset.”

  “Yeah, I know. That’s why I didn’t follow you,” I remind her.

  “How did you get in the house?”

  “Your dad and I talked. He told me what room you were in and sent me up.”

  “What?” she whispers.

  “Though I gotta say, baby. I thought you said your dad was a hippy. He sure as hell doesn’t strike me as one.”

  “I don’t know what’s going on with my dad,” she mutters.

  “He’s probably seeing that his brand of parenting hasn’t been working.”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never seen my dad look disappointed or angry, and he was both tonight. It was freaky.”

  “Freaky,” I repeat with a smile that she must hear, cause her hand smacks against my chest.

  “Freaky, and it’s not funny; it’s weird.”

  “I think it’s a good thing. He cares, baby, and he’s showing it.”

  “I guess you’re right,” she mumbles, and I run my hand down her back and pull up her shirt so I can run my fingers over her skin, and realize her ass is bare. “Sven,” she whispers as I tug her up to straddle me.