Broken

  He really is going to tell her after all. ''I saw one of your Novels in the kitchen and I knew you forgot it in there, so I took it and never bothered to return it.'' How lame does that sounds?

  ''Which novel is it?''

  ''The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives,''

  Now she remembered, she had thought she borrowed one of her friends or that she lost it she never thought he could have taken it. ''It is a novel I love so much, it was one of the books I used in school.''

  ''I like it too that is why I never returned it.'' That is a half truth, he did read the book and it was really interesting, why he held on to it was because it was a part of her and that is his own way of keeping memories of her. ''When did you come back?''

  ''Today,'' she replied and finally turned to face him. ''I came back today and I thought I should let you know.'' The last part was said in little more than a whisper.

  She came back today and came to see him today, which is more than he could ever imagine. She could have called him to tell him of her arrival and he would have dropped everything to get to her but she actually gave him the grace of coming here to see him. ''I am happy you are here Henrie,'' His eyes was on her even though she was avoiding eye contact with him. ''Thanks for letting me know you are back.''

  Henrie nodded. ''I should go,'' she started moving but then stopped. He was standing in front of the door and he is not making any move to step aside. He was staring at her and she could tell he knew what she was thinking, and he knew she knew he knew. ''I am leaving,'' she said but neither of them moved.

  ''Why are you hurrying to leave, can't you stay with me for a few more minutes?'' He moved close to her and she took a step back. ''Are you afraid of me?'' He stopped and stared at her, why would she be afraid of him? Has he ever given her any indication he would hurt her?

  Henrie shook her head but she is still moving back until her rear came in contact with one of the chairs. She turned to look at the desk and she gulped, she turned back to look at him but he was staring at her with an annoyed look. She has gotten him angry, oh no.

  ''What is wrong with you Henrie? Have I made any inappropriate move towards you?'' at her vigorous shake of the head he moved more close, ''Then why are you scared? Why are you backing away from me?'' His gaze has her feet rooted to the ground and he closed the distance between them. ''What is wrong with you?''

  Henrie stayed still as she stared at him intently. This is Charles, she has known him for two years, he wouldn't hurt her, and he never has before. She tried to calm down, took in deep breaths and closed her eyes, figuring she is back in control she opened her eyes to find him right in front of her. She was shocked to see him so close but he just wrapped his arms around her and she melted into his arms. ''I'm sorry,'' she sobbed.

  He patted her back gently. ''It's okay, just remember I will never hurt you nor attempt to. Please trust me Henrie, trust me to love and care for you always.'' She nodded against his chest and his hold tightened. I will always love you Henrie.

  I could hold out my arms, say I love you this much

  I could tell you how long I will long for your touch

  How much and how far will I go to prove

  The depth and the breadth of my love for you

  From here to the moon and back

  Who else in this world will love you like that?

  Love everlasting I promise you that

  From here to the moon and back

  From here to the moon and back

  Henrie clung to him and sobbed.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Henrie was still smiling when Joan got back from the Office. ''You really do look happy girl, tell me you won a lottery?'' She joked as she poked her in the ribs.

  ''Ouch,'' Henrie gave her a pointed look. ''It's a secret,'' she hid a smile but Joan was onto her. ''Spill it.'' Henrie sighed, she hasn't been able to tell any of her friends about Charles, and she figured she would have to tell her best friend now. Amongst all her friends Joan is the one she is most comfortable with, so telling her shouldn't prove so difficult and no matter how judgmental she gets when she tells her about how Richard treats her, it will be nothing compared to what she told herself. So, she talked to her, about Richard and about Charles without holding anything back.

  Joan was momentarily stunned to silence. She opened her mouth a couple of times to say something but nothing came out. ''I am finding this so hard to believe, I can't even begin to imagine you were suffering while we were praying to get as lucky as you. I am finding it difficult to associate the Richard I know to the one you are talking about now.'' The few times she has seen him he had been the perfect boyfriend, attentive, caring, fun and adorable, and every single remark about him from Henrie is perfect and she had wished she could find a guy exactly like him. It is indeed true that you can't judge a book by its cover. She had seen Richard from the outside and had thought him perfect, someone worthy of emulation but it had all been a fa?ade. ''I am so sorry you have to go through that,'' she go to her and embraced her. ''You should have told us Henrie, you could have move in with me all this while.''

  Henrie nodded. ''I know but like I said, I didn't know better then. I was clinging on the belief that he would change, and then he asked me to marry him and I told myself he wouldn't ask me that unless he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, so I believed he would change once we get married but I was mistaken. He was nice to me for a few weeks and then it started, again and the last time he hurt me badly. Charles offered to take me to the hospital but I refused, I however went to the hospital when I got to Lagos, it was my second day there and I could tell the Nurses knew how I got those bruises but I wasn't ready to say anything and they didn't pry either. I have been living a lie for a long time and that is why I try to avoid all of you because compared to you all I am a failure, I have no job and I couldn't stand up for myself. It is a bad feeling. I also hated myself for lying to you. You girls have been with me for years now and I am more ashamed that I can't table out my problem to you. Most of what happened to me was because I kept quiet, every time he beats me I just stupidly endure it, get angry for a day at most before he apologizes and then the whole thing starts again. I get beaten and he apologize, what a pathetic life to live.'' She said disgustingly.

  ''It's is okay now, I promise you we will stay with you, we will always be there for you and you can stay here for as long as you want. You once took me in the University, it is time to repay you Henrie, you will be safe here.''

  ''I know,'' when her Parents died she had thought she would never have anyone that would be there for her, someone who would really love her as her parents did, someone who will accept her despite her misgivings, but now she realized that it is not only parents that can cater for you, and that is why we have friends, friends that will always be there for you, friends that will stand up for you, friends that will make you feel cherish, and finally you have someone that will always love you, someone whose love will make you whole. Could that person for her be Charles?

  Joan pulled away. ''Now tell me about Charles,'' at Henrie's small smile she said, ''I know you are praying I don't remember but you are wrong.''

  Henrie shrugged noncommittally. ''It's not that much of a big deal.'' Is it?

  Joan pursed her lips and stared at her friend. ''How have I missed this? I have always thought you are too concerned about him even though you claim both of you are not on good terms, I just thought it was because you don't like him that you talk about him too much. You always find something to criticize him about.''

  ''No I don't,'' she denied. When she thought about it she herself has arrived at the fact that she is far too concerned about Charles' affairs. She takes notice of every single thing he does, the kind of clothes he wears, his habits, his likes and dislikes and could her less than kind personality towards Ada be jealousy? She had never liked the girl and when she had moved in with him and she assumed they were finally dating, the dislike grew but she just thought it was because
she knew how she was been treated by Richard and that was the reason for her stiffness to her. There are so many things she had overlooked and that is mainly because not in her wildest dream would she have imagined that Charles could be in love with her. Joan snapped her fingers in her face and she jerked. ''Don't do that,''

  Joan folded her arms across her chest. ''That is because you are smiling like a fool, you have that love struck look in your eyes. Wow, I can't wait to tell the others you and Charles are getting married.''

  Henrie gasped. ''Are you crazy? Who said anything about getting married? We are not even dating.''

  ''He loves you and you love him back, what is the problem? You know I have always thought of him as a responsible guy the few times I have seen him and I knew I want someone like him because I figured responsibility runs deep in the Agbajes, but you have snatched the good one and I am really happy for you Henrie, you really do deserve him. I might have caught a fairytale of my own.'' Her smile was sly.

  Henrie watched the expression on her friend's face. ''You are hiding something from me.''

  ''I am not.'' She replied with her best innocent face. ''I wonder what Emmanuella will say, and Lola too.'' She deliberately changed the subject and Henrie let her, she would eventually tell her about this when she is ready to do so.

  ''Do you think Emmanuella is serious about liking him?'' She asked worriedly. Emmanuella always make it known that she likes Charles but she wasn't sure if she really means it or not.

  ''Of course not, Emmanuella says a lot of things she doesn't mean and I am sure she only says that so that you can tell us the new annoying things he does. You always complain about him all the time, even on the phone.'' She pointed out thoughtfully. ''Who would have thought that he have such feelings for you? He really does know how to keep secrets.''

  Henrie felt slightly embarrassed. ''Well I never thought he could, you know, and he is always so annoying and frustrating.''

  Joan stretched out on the bed. ''Don't worry now, he is all yours. What about that ex-girlfriend of his? Is she going to be a problem?''

  She remembered telling Joan on the phone that his girlfriend has moved him with them. ''They were just friends, he wasn't dating her and she moved out when he told her he preferred me. He said she is still refusing to pick his calls.''

  ''Oh, the misfortune of unrequited love. It's not everyone that gets to be loved back by who they love, I am pretty sure she will forget him and move on when she finds her own man.''

  ''I don't know what to do with Charles.'' She confided. She does like him but she feels like she is doing a wrong thing by acknowledging her true feelings for him. ''What will people say when they learn I broke up with one brother to be with another?'' That had been her worry and she could just see the hateful looks some people will give her.

  Joan sat up. ''Let me tell you something about the Yoruba tradition which should be known to you as you are a Yoruba girl as well, when a man dies, his wife is passed to another man in the family, mostly a younger man to her husband but sometimes to an older man. When this is happening people don't see it as an abomination but as tradition, that was then. This is the 21st Century, and women would rather not allow themselves to be passed around as a piece of clothing for the luckiest man to snag, in the present age you can do whatever it is you want so far you are happy with your decision. I can tell you do like Charles, don't let what people will say influence you Henrie, you are the one who will live with him not them, what business of anyone's is the fact that you preferred one brother to the other? Richard is not the man for you but his brother could be. Would you then because of what Society will say cast away your chance of happiness? It's not done, you are an individual, a person capable of making decision, if others don't accept it then it is their problems, you just do what is best for you.'' She said sternly.

  She reached for her hands, ''I want nothing more than for you to be happy, do whatever it is that will make you happy. Do you remember Henrik Ibsen's 'Ghosts'?'' At her firm nod she continued, ''Mrs. Alvings was with her husband because she knew the Society deem it fit that a Woman's home is with her husband even though he was living a promiscuous life. She kept quiet just to protect his honour when he got Joanna their maid pregnant because she knew it would tarnish the family's image if words got out that Captain Alvings impregnated a maid. What was her gain? When you were with Richard and he was maltreating you the reason you kept silent about his assault was because you still want to present him as a good man to outsiders because you are nursing the hope that he will change for good, but when he doesn't you left him, that is your power as a woman. If you are not okay with the way your boyfriend is treating you then you leave him, don't stay with anyone because of any excuse. It won't be fair to you and the other person if the only reason you both are still together was because you are feeling sorry for him or because of a certain something, it's not right. You've made a right decision by leaving him, the next step is to move on with your life and if it is with Charles then so be it.'' The look she gave her was intent, willing her to accept her opinion.

  Henrie snatched her hands away and embraced her friend. ''Thank you Joan, I never thought it out the way you did, and you are right, everything you said was right and I know what to do. Thank you for showing me the light.'' She sobbed as she held on tight.

  Joan enveloped her friend in her hand, slightly patting her back. ''I am glad you think so, thank you for confiding in me.''

  Sometimes, solutions are out there but we never see it until someone points it out.

  ***

  ''Are you sure you want to do this? I really don't want to get you upset.'' Charles repeated for the hundredth time and Henrie nods her head the same way she has the first time he asked her that question.

  She wanted to see his house and he had seem so uncomfortable about it, little does he know that it had taken a lot of courage on her part to actually ask to see his place. ''I am just curious, I want to know how your place will look like, how you will arrange it.'' She just wanted to know some things about him and one of the ways to start is by knowing his apartment. Curiosity is the key word here; she wants to know who he really is.

  He had wanted to invite her to his place but doesn't know how to tell her about it without it sounding the wrong way. She needs to trust him and that was what he was doing, trying to gain her trust. ''My mum bought the house for me when I graduated in the University.'' He said, at least he could tell her things about himself.

  ''Really? Richard never said anything about it, I really have no idea. Why didn't you move in since then?''

  ''Mum has always shown a preference for me mainly because I look like her a lot but I feel guilty when it comes to my brother. When he graduated Mother never got him a house and when I did she handed over a house key to me. I didn't want to accept it as it would really feel bad, I know I will feel bad so I didn't but she pester me relentlessly and eventually I have to succumb, but that was not enough for me to move in. I tried to talk to Richard about it but he told me it was not a big deal, that it is not a secret that she prefers me to him and that he is old enough now not to let such issues matter a lot to him. I still felt bad so I stuck with him, and frankly I will rather be with him than living here all alone, and then you came and I stayed. When Ada moved out, I realized it would be difficult to patch things up with him this time around so I just left, I never really tell him I am moving out and he never bothered to call me about it either.'' At the guilty look in her eyes, he quickly tried to make her feel better. ''It is not your fault Henrie, our mother was the cause of the rift between us. When we are growing up, we are loved but Dad is not the affectionate kind, he takes care of us, cares for us and does everything a Father should do but he doesn't have the time to spend with us. He was always on business trips, busy with work, so we turned to mum. She has a store then where she sells clothes, a standard one and she is always there for us, but everyone with eyes knows she prefers me to Richard. She lets me get away with things Ric
hard would never dare to do, we fight a lot then and he is always the one to be blamed. As I grew up I became conscious of the fact that the way she was mothering me was at the expense of my brother's and what a good mother should not do. I started rejecting her pampering and I want my brother and myself to be on good terms but he was not interested. He left me here in Kwara State and went to school in Ibadan, when he graduated I was ready to make everything amiable between us again but he was having none of that so dad intervened and he made us move in together and I will be grateful to him because of that because that was what mended our relationship, we started living together as brothers ought to and afterwards our parents moved to Abuja, we were left alone and we started looking out for each other, that time I knew I have my brother back.'' He had a faraway look in his eyes and she knew he was hurting, but most of all he was blaming himself and feeling guilty for the childhood they had, for what their mother did, for the ways things turned out between himself and his brother.

  ''And now you have lost him because of me,'' Henrie remarked. She has gotten between two brothers. 'I am sorry.''

  Charles' hands tightened on the wheels. ''You have nothing to be sorry about, it is just our luck that we fell in love with the same girl.'' His smile was wistful.

  ''You really don't like that house do you?''

  His reply was immediate. ''I don't and I don't think I ever will. I just moved there because it was the best alternative then, I will get a place of my own.''

  Going to that house will not only make him remember that it was supposed to be given to his brother but also he is going to take his brother's ex-girlfriend to that house and then he would feel as if he took two things of Richard's from him. ''We don't have to go there anymore,'' she speaks up. At his side glance at her she gave him a reassuring smile. ''I will see your new house, the one you get for yourself not the one with bad memories.''