* * *
I hardly sleep at all that night.
I've never been so worked up over a man before. I don't know what's happened to me, and it's only gotten worse since we made that bet. I feel like I'm burning from the inside out, tortured by lust for someone I shouldn't even like, let alone want.
I tell myself it all comes down to that twisted law of the universe that you always want what you can't—or shouldn't—have. Calder has the power to destroy everything my dad and I spent our lives building. I've finally found an opening, a way to win back what he denied us, and my body's bent on betraying me.
After tossing and turning for a couple of hours, I finally get up and go over to the fireplace. I move the poker and watch the secret door slide open. The dark passage beyond beckons me. The tension I've been fighting all night settles between my legs, and I start to ache without even taking a step. I know what waits at the other end of this corridor. The scene from the other night is still so vivid in my mind. I don't know what I hope to accomplish by taking this path again tonight. I don't delude myself into believing I'll witness another similar scene. And I certainly don't intend to go barging into his room in the middle of the night.
It's all just a fantasy. All of my time in this house feels like an elaborate sexual dream, and I'm not sure whether I want to wake up or live in it forever.
I'm five steps into the passageway before I lose my nerve. I turn around, dart back to my room, and move the poker back into place. I leap into the bed and pull the comforter over my head. This place is making me crazy, but I won't let it defeat me. Tomorrow, I'll win back some of the money Calder took from the Center. Whatever it takes, I'll break him.