Sweet Destruction
I motioned for the big guy to hand me my deserved bottle of water. There was no way I was going to let Walker see how much he got under my skin. If he knew, it would mean he won this little war between us. And that would never happen.
“I think you deserve another shot, Sam. You look like you need it,” Walker said, stopping right beside me and invading my personal space, damn him. “What do you think, Carlos? Another drink for the girl?”
The guy guarding the water looked from me to Walker. “Don’t drag me into your shit, Walker. You want it, you get it,” he said, pushing away from the counter and walking off.
Walker didn’t move as the guy left. His eyes stayed on mine, his body so close I could feel the heat radiating off of him. It was annoying.
Lukas looked anything but happy. His jaw was set in a tight line and his body was tense. The tattoos covering his arms and neck might look badass but I knew he had no chance against Walker. Not many people did.
“So where’s Bent?” I asked, trying to be civil for once.
“Working,” Walker’s deep baritone voice answered. “You should know … you’re his sister.”
I scoffed. “Like that matters anymore.” I spun the shot glass on the counter, needing to fidget. Walker’s nearness was making me too nervous to stand still.
I took a big breath of courage and wished I hadn’t. I got a big whiff of Walker instead. God, he smelled good. Something woodsy and dark. Dangerous. Whatever aftershave or cologne he used, it smelled heavenly. A contradiction to the devil I knew he was.
He reached across to the makeshift bar. His arm brushed against my arm, his hip bumping against my hip. I swear my lungs hitched, almost making me lose my breath. Being this close to him was either a nightmare waiting to happen, or an adventure I wanted to experience. Either way, I’m not sure I would survive.
“You ever get drunk from tequila?” Walker asked, reaching for a bottle right by my hip.
“No,” I answered, recognizing a challenge when I heard one. “But there’s a first time for everything, right?”
He smiled and splashed tequila into two shot glasses. Setting the bottle back on the counter, he looked at me, handing me a glass.
I took the drink from Walker, squashing down the need to turn tail and run. His wicked eyes stared down at me, seeing more than I wanted him to see. He knew my past. He had seen me at my lowest, when I was hungry and cold. When my mama had locked me in a closet for three days for getting in trouble. He had seen me when I was sulky and sad, wishing for more out of life. He knew me too well and I didn’t know how to deal with it.
My fingers touched his as I took the glass from him, shooting fire along my hand and up my arm. I pulled away quickly and glanced at Lukas, afraid he’d caught my reaction. He hadn’t. He was staring at Walker like he wanted to take the whiskey bottle and hit him over the head with it. I can’t say that I blamed him, but if anyone was going to give Walker what he deserved, it would be me.
I met his gaze, raising one of my eyebrows in question.
A slight smile turned up one corner of Walker’s mouth, making him look wicked and untrustworthy.
“Drink up, Sam,” he said, leaning closer to me. He put his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me toward him, putting his lips near my ear. “I dare you.”
I stood still, the glass forgotten in my hand. My body pressed into his and his fingers burned on my skin. I grew hot and sweaty in a matter of seconds. I forgot to breathe or how to swallow. I became a puddle of heat and friction.
Just because he touched me.
I was beginning to wake up from whatever was happening to me when Walker pulled away. The satisfied grin on his face made me want to slap it off. Instead I tossed back the tequila, refusing to flinch when fire traveled down my throat. My eyes watered and I held back a cough, but I didn’t break eye contact with him.
“More. I want to see you lose control,” he said, leaning toward me slightly.
Warmth traveled down my spine. His words set me on fire. But I was good at putting out flames.
“What the hell? Stay away from her, asshole!” Lukas shouted, trying to step between Walker and me.
Walker ignored him like he didn’t exist, refusing to move. He kept his eyes pinned on me instead. “More, Sam. Lose control.”
I slapped the empty shot glass on the counter, bottom up. “That’s your specialty, Walker, not mine,” I said sweetly. I waited for the blackness that always flooded his eyes when someone pissed him off, but instead they burned with something else.
“Maybe we should lose control together,” Walker said in a whisper. “Just you and me.”
Lukas swore a blue streak and I frowned, hating the way my heart skipped a beat. I gave myself a mental shake, disappointed that I hadn’t made him mad. That was my goal in life. I made him mad and he pissed me off. It worked well, but now he was changing the rules of the game, damn him. But I still wanted to play.
Lukas was on the verge of throwing a punch but I ignored him. Instead I picked up the tequila bottle and unscrewed the top. If Walker wanted me to drink, I would drink.
His grin widened but then I saw it. A flicker of irritation in his eyes. I realized that he never expected me to play along. Hmm.
Now I was winning.
I flipped the shot glass over and splashed tequila in it. The smell reminded me of my mother but I pushed the thought away. This had nothing to do with her or my sucky life. This had to do with Walker and me.
“What the hell, Sam?” Lukas muttered as he watched me pour another drink. “You looking to get blind-ass drunk tonight?”
“Maybe,” I answered, feeling trapped between a man who was safe and another that was nothing but trouble. If this is what the night was going to be like, drunk sounded good.
I picked up the full shot glass and peeked at Walker. He was watching me with interest, the smirk still on his face. It made me so mad, I tossed back the drink quickly, like a pro.
“Good girl,” Walker said in his deep voice. Without another word he turned and walked away.
The glass suddenly felt like a giant weight in my hand. I felt the air return to normal, the sexual friction gone. The hair on the back of my neck relaxed, the threat disappearing when Walker left.
“Shit, Sam!” Lukas said, shaking his head in disgust as he poured his own drink. “Why don’t you two fuck and get it over with!”
I opened my mouth to respond but couldn’t. The thought of sex with Walker left me … weak. The two of us naked, his body against mine, his hands all over me, left me terrified. Yeah we had shared that one moment long ago, but now there was too much hatred between us to ever go back there. What might have been was dead, just like any friendship we once had.
“We hate each other,” I told Lukas, shrugging. “Walker’s just taunting me. Ignore him.”
“Like you ignored him?” Lukas said with a scoff. “Whatever. I bet your brother isn’t threatening Walker to keep his dick to himself.”
“Cool it, Lukas,” I snapped, growing annoyed. “Just … shut the hell up.”
Lukas’s lip curled. “Walker better keep his hands off you, Sam. I don’t care if he has a record---”
“Enough, Lukas!” I said, stomping my foot. “You know there’s nothing between us!” I grabbed the cup from his hand and taking a long drink, needing it.
“You’re delusional, Sam,” he muttered, watching as I took a drink.
I gave him a go-to-hell look and faced the room, resting my hip against the counter. I let my eyes linger across the mob of people, looking for the one that made my blood boil with rage. Walker.
Chapter Twelve
-Walker-
I just played my first hand. Now it was time to sit back and wait for my opponent to make her move. The game was on and I was determined to win. But the waiting was killing me.
I kept my eye on Sam for a while, but I could watch her for a lifetime. An eternity. She was my vice, the one thing I always wanted and never could have.
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A love I hated. A woman I feared I cared about.
Like my father, I had a weakness - a weakness for alcohol, for the numbness that filled my veins. But there was something else I craved. Something more addicting than whiskey and more satisfying than vodka. Something that left my head spinning and my heart pumping. I had a thirst to taste it, to know it. To own it and never let go. I wanted to drink its nectar and share it with no one.
I wanted Sam.
She was somewhere in this party, flirting with her boyfriend. Teasing the guys with her looks and I-don’t-give-a-shit personality. My craving. But if there was one thing I’d learned from my loser of a father, it was that addictions could ruin you. They could make you give up your will to live or your desire to breathe. They could make you ignore everything and everybody around you. I wouldn’t let that happen to me. Sam would never have that effect on me.
Never.
When I saw her throwing back the shot earlier, I knew I had to tempt her more. It was in my blood to push her just so she would push me back. It was a game we had played for years. One I particularly liked.
The party was getting rowdier, more crowded as the night went on. I walked outside, needing air. Needing to get away from Sam. Damn, just needing her. Moonlight bounced off the surface of the swimming pool a few feet away, gleaming in the night. The water lapped against the sides, urging people to cool off in its depths. Couples and groups of people lingered around, most of them stoned or falling-on-their-asses drunk. As for me, I stood alone. Just me and my bottle of beer.
I had caught glimpses of Sam all night, that boyfriend of hers hanging on her coattails like a little lost puppy dog. I swear I wasn’t following her, but I found myself looking, searching for her. I needed to soak in the sight of Sam in that too-short dress with her black hair falling over her shoulder. Knowing she was somewhere nearby was driving me insane.
And I really didn’t need any help getting there.
Despite the crowd, I felt her near me. My skin tingled and my dick stayed rock hard, only wanting one thing – to find her and push that little dress up.
Shit, I was going crazy.
I took another swig of my beer, the brick of the house hot against my back as I leaned against it. I kept my eyes on everyone around me, waiting for Sam to reappear but at the same time hoping she didn’t.
I drained the longneck and craved another, but I resisted. Any more and I might become that monster she had once called me, the one I wished I could forget.
The truth was, I had to keep my head on straight. If Sam was nearby, I had to be ready for anything. I needed to be able to reassure myself that the hate still lived between us. That it still simmered and sparked, keeping us apart. Because if it didn’t, all bets were off.
Music boomed from the outdoor speakers, filling the night with pulsating bass and some head-banging shit. My ears pounded from some singer screaming about love ripping his heart out and tearing it to shreds. Sucker. I had seen what love could do to a man and it wasn’t pretty. My father was the perfect example. He was dead inside, had been since my mom died. Love did that to him. It created and destroyed. It was nothing but destruction wrapped up in a pretty little package, waiting to explode in someone’s face. It made monsters out of men and turned burning hearts cold. I was already a monster and already cold. I didn’t need love to destroy me more.
But then Sam came to mind. I rubbed my forehead with the hand holding the beer. Hell, maybe I needed another drink after all.
I pushed away from the wall, ready to seek the nearest keg or bottle of whiskey, when a girl caught my attention. She was walking toward me, the little black dress she wore so short it barely covered her ass. Her name was Leah. I had met her earlier tonight, right after I walked away from Sam. She was just the distraction I had been looking for. A little bit sweet and a little bit nasty. Perfect to prove to myself that wanting Sam meant nothing. I needed – no, fuck that – I had to prove that any girl would do.
But so far, it wasn’t working. I still wanted Sam. Sure, I wanted her to pay for all the smartass words she’d ever said to me, but it was more than that. Much more. No matter how many girls tempted me, Sam was the one I seemed consumed by. The one I wanted but couldn’t have.
Speaking of girls … Leah kept her eyes on me, keeping me locked in place as she strolled my way. She walked through the crowd like a model on a runway. Guys stopped what they were doing to watch her. They could have her for all I cared. But if it were Sam they were drooling over instead? Hell, that was a different story. I wasn’t going to acknowledge what that piece of insight meant.
Leah’s blonde hair fell down her back in perfectly placed waves, looking like it needed a man’s hand in it. Like a lot of girls at parties, she didn’t care if she was a one-night stand or a long-term commitment – she just wanted me in her bed, buried balls deep in her. It always blew my mind that guys got such a bad rep for using girls when just as many women were out there jumping from bed to bed, racking up boy toys like they were playthings. Seemed unfair to me. But then again, life was unfair - we all knew that. Some of us more than others.
I focused on Leah’s face, feeling buzzed but not quite drunk. Needing some more help, I lifted the bottle to my mouth again then remembered it was empty. Damn.
I felt disappointed, but then my imagination took off, picturing Sam walking toward me instead of Leah. She would have nothing on her mind except dropping her panties for me. A sexy smile would curve her full red lips and her eyes would tell me what she wanted me to do. Stopping beside me, Sam’s perfect breasts would brush against my arm as she leaned over to whisper in my ear, begging me to take her someplace private. Somewhere we could be alone so I could make her come again and again.
My fingers tightened around my empty longneck, reminding me of who I was. An outsider looking in. A criminal with a past and no future. I was Sam’s monster, a part I had played for years. One that would never change. I was good at it, so why ruin a good thing now?
I didn’t move as Leah stepped in front of me, her high heels clicking on the patio’s stone pavement. She stood over my outstretched legs, straddling my feet and leaving me no choice but to focus on her.
“Hello, Cole,” she said in a sexy voice meant to get my blood pumping.
“Where have you been?” I asked, reaching for her hand and pulling her toward me.
She leaned against my chest, a smug smile on her face. “Not far. But now that I’m here, what are you going to do with me?”
I growled and tugged her closer, lowering my mouth to hers. She returned my kiss with equal fervor, hungry for what I had to offer. My body didn’t react the way I wished it would, but I knew it was just thoughts of Sam messing with my mind.
I deepened the kiss, wanting to force Sam out. Never coy, Leah answered the call by pulling my tongue into her mouth, sucking gently and showing me exactly what else she could do with her mouth.
I moaned and ran my hands up her sides, brushing the underside of her breasts. I didn’t care that people surrounded us. Let them look. Let them be jealous I was getting some and they weren’t. They could all go to hell.
Leah sucked in a breath when my thumb skid across her breast, touching her nipple. Damn, the girl wasn’t wearing a bra.
“Gawd, Cole, let’s get out of here. You’re driving me crazy,” she whispered.
Never one to disappoint, I slipped a hand around Leah’s waist and pushed away from the wall, breaking our kiss. She stayed close by me as we maneuvered our way through the outside crowd and headed for the house, only one thing on our mind.
Heat hit me as soon as I stepped into the house. The place was packed with twenty-somethings looking to score. More people had shown up in the last hour, most of them looking like spoiled rich kids escaping from their perfect lives. Most hoped the drugs, sex, and liquor would give them the escape they needed but I knew the truth – those things were just another form of hell.
Leah started bouncing next to me as the mu
sic blared. Her boobs jiggled, gaining all kinds of attention from the men standing around. I ignored it and pushed my way through the crowd. I had one goal– find the nearest bedroom and force Sam from my mind. That’s where Leah came in with her tight, firm body.
We were almost to the hallway that led to the bedrooms when someone grabbed my attention.
Ice flooded my veins. Fire erupted in my brain. My heart woke up and took notice.
And just like that, I knew what I had to do.
My arm dropped away from Leah. “I’ll catch you later,” I said, not bothering to look at her.
“Whaaat?” she asked, confused.
I started to walk away when her arm snaked around mine, holding me back. Proclaiming I was hers and nobody else’s. Yeah, right - not in this lifetime, honey.
I detangled myself from her arms again and set her away from me. “Later,” I said, needing her to understand that I made the rules and the rule was, I was walking away.
Leah glared at me, looking like she wanted to carve my heart out with one of her stilettos. She could find someone else to entertain her for a while. I was done.
The kitchen was crowded with people but I pushed my way through, my mission simple. For the first time ever, I didn’t want to partake in the shots of tequila being passed around. I didn’t want a puff of whatever was being smoked.
I wanted something else.
Sam stood against the counter, her arms crossed over her chest. She had a cup in one hand, her other resting on the marble countertop. I wondered how toasted she was. But it didn’t matter. What mattered was the guy leaning against her, the smirk on his face one I wanted to wipe the floor with. I tensed when he touched one of the curls resting against her shoulder, making her frown. But then I forced myself to relax. This was Sam; she could take care of herself. I knew that better than anyone. The guy next to her just didn’t know who he was messing with.
Sam said something to him, the look on her face priceless. One eyebrow was raised and her red lips were tilted up, appearing sweet, but I knew better. She was out for blood. It was in her eyes. I had seen it directed at me enough times to know.