The Hard Way

  “Oh, you want to get something to eat?” I asked.

  She rolled her eyes. “No silly. Look at the sign.”

  I stared past her to the window. “Thursday Open Mic Night.” I looked back at her. “So?”

  “Why don’t you give it a try?”

  I raised my eyebrows. “You want me to go in there and sing in front of a bunch of strangers without any preparation or my guitar?”

  Maddie nodded. “Yeah.”

  “No, I don’t think so,” I replied and started walking on.

  “Oh come on, Noah. You’re too talented not to give it a shot,” she called.

  What Maddie didn’t know is that I’d seen that sign before. I’d probably walked past it tons of times and thought about going in. But in the end, I was too much of a chicken shit to do it. It was one thing to play at Mom’s reception when I’d practiced until the callouses on my hands gave testament to how I’d perfected the song. Just like I had no issues playing around my group of friends.

  Strangers were another thing all together.

  When I turned around, Maddie was smiling at me. “Come on, Noah.”

  “Fine,” I huffed before I stalked back to her. “Don’t say I told you so when you’re embarrassed to be seen with me after my performance!”

  “I seriously doubt that,” she said, as she opened the coffee house door for me.

  It was dark inside except for the tiny stage, which was bathed in glowing light. Great, I couldn’t see the people heckling me, but at least they’d be able to see me.

  Maddie jumped on the waitress the minute she came over to take our order. “How do you participate in the Open Mic night?”

  The waitress glanced at her watch. “We’re only doing a couple more numbers. It turns over to karaoke at ten.”

  Maddie nodded. “Well, my friend here is really talented, and he’d like to perform.”

  The waitress sized me up and down. I flashed a toothy grin and said, “What’s up?”

  She stared at me like I was a moron. “Looks like you’re short a guitar,” she mused.

  “Yeah, I wasn’t really expecting to do this tonight.”

  “All right, you can borrow Jimmy’s. You’re up in five minutes.”

  Maddie clapped her hands together. “Thank you so much!”

  When the waitress left, I shot Maddie an exasperated look. “Seriously, you don’t have to be so excited about me making a fool out of myself.”

  “I’ve never seen you act so unsure of yourself before.” She shook her head. “Stop beating yourself up. You’ll be awesome, and I know it.” She then grinned slyly at me. “And deep down inside, you know it too!”

  “Whatever,” I grumbled.

  The performer on stage finished to a round of applause. Jimmy, the manager, took the stage, and I fought my gag reflex. He motioned me forward, and I swallowed hard before rising out of my chair and making the pilgrimage across the stage. I stood at the edge of the stairs waiting on his cue.

  “For our next performance, we’d like to welcome,” Jimmy paused and put his hand over the Mic. “What’s your name again, kid?”

  “Noah. Noah Sullivan,” I called.

  Jimmy nodded. “We’d like to welcome Noah Sullivan to the stage.”

  The coffeehouse erupted in applause. It looked even more packed from the stage. I clung to Jimmy’s guitar as I strode across the stage. I eased down on the stool and tried calming myself. I mean, I don’t know what I was being such a pussy about. I’d sung at a funeral in front of hundreds of people. I’d be a total dipshit if I couldn’t handle a measly crowd of fifty.

  I adjusted the microphone. As I stared out into the crowd, I cleared my throat. “Um, I’d like to do a song by one of my favorite bands, Lifehouse.” I caught Maddie’s gaze. “I’ve had a lot going on in my life lately, and it kinda sums it up for me. So here’s Storm.”

  My fingers began strumming the familiar chords. “How long have been in this storm? So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form,” I sang clearly. Closing my eyes, I then focused in on the lyrics. I couldn’t help thinking how much the song meant to me because of Maddie. She had caught me when I’d fallen and saved me from the epic storm of grief just like the lyrics said. I wasn’t drowning in sadness anymore. Instead I was drowning in her—her smile, her beauty, her giving heart and beautiful spirit.

  But in the back of my mind was crippling fear. As soon as I told her about Jake, I was going to lose her. The thought alone was almost too hard to bear. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like for that to actually happen. I already cared too much, and she wasn’t even mine.

  When I finished the last chords, I opened my eyes. I’d done it. I’d actually survived an Open Mic night. The clapping started slowly at first and then it exploded all around me. My head jerked up, and I stared in amazement out at the audience—some of them even got to their feet.

  Jimmy met me on stage. “Hey man, that was awesome. What would you think about singing here sometimes?”

  My heart thudded in my chest. “Really?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, you’ve got some pipes for real, and I’ve never seen the audience connect with someone like they did with you.”

  “Yeah, sure,” I said. My cheeks were starting to hurt from grinning.

  Jimmy pulled the microphone to his lips. “Let’s give one more round of applause for Noah Sullivan. Check back with us ladies and gentleman because you’re gonna see Noah playing here regularly.”

  Before I could get back to the table, Maddie met me in the aisle. She practically lunged at me, throwing her arms around my neck and pressing against me. “Oh my gosh, you were so awesome!” she shrieked. As she pulled away, she kissed me on the cheek. “You’re my hero!”

  I laughed. “Whatever.”

  “No, you are.”

  “Because I sang on stage?”

  “Yes, and because you faced your fear and did something you’d never do.”

  I rolled my eyes and grinned. “All right, come on, let’s sit down and get something to drink.”

  “Okay.” We ordered two coffees and eased back in the chair to watch the karaoke performances. As the waitress brought our order, a girl and guy were rocking a serious duet. Leaning forward on my elbows, I cocked my head at Maddie. “You know, you’re kinda a hypocrite.”

  Maddie lowered her coffee cup and gazed wide-eyed at me. “What?”

  “You pushed me into getting on stage when you know good and well you’d never do it.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Because I know you too well, Maddie.” I motioned towards the stage where the guy and girl were goofing off. “You’re just not the type of girl to do that.”

  A wounded expression came over Maddie’s face as her shoulders drooped a little. I sighed. “Now don’t be that way. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

  “You really think I’m not brave or cool enough to do that?”

  “Well…” I watched the girl shimming for a moment. “Nope.”

  She sat there for a minute, staring into her Caramel Macchiato. “So, basically all you see me as is this goody-two shoes virgin, right?”

  “No, that’s not how I see you,” I protested.

  Maddie shook her head. “That’s all anyone sees! But I have so much more depth than that—even Jake could see that.”

  “Yes, I’m sure he could.” She pouted into her coffee. “Maddie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You’re so above caring what people think that you should just ignore me, okay?”

  We sat in silence for a few seconds. Then she drew her shoulders back and smacked her hands on the table. “Fine, I’ll prove myself to you!”

  When she stood up, I choked on my coffee. “Maddie! Come back here!” I hissed.

  She gave me one final death glare over her shoulder before flouncing over to the stage. She leaned over and whispered something in the DJ’s ear. He nodded and handed her a notebook. She peered at the pages before pointing at on
e.

  The song ended, and the couple bowed and started off the stage. “Well, ladies and gentlemen, we’d like to welcome a lovely lady to the microphone.”

  I would’ve imagined Maddie would have worn an expression like she was going to piss herself, but instead, she grabbed the microphone and stared confidently out into the crowd. A couple of guys whistled at her to which she had the balls to wink at. She nodded at the DJ, and he started the song.

  An erotic bass thumped out of the speakers, and it took me just a second to realize what the song was.

  Don’t Cha by the Pussycat Dolls.

  Maddie met my incredulous gaze and arched one eyebrow at me, showing me she had very deliberately and deviously picked a song to give me what for. Oh shit, this wasn’t going to be good.

  When the rest of the crowd recognized the song, they roared with pleasure. Next to the stage sat a table full of frat guys who’d stumbled in for coffee to sober up. Fuck, this had train wreck written all over it.

  Maddie started off solid in her singing. Her movements were a little wooden—for a millisecond. Then it was like she was channeling her inner-Pussy Cat Doll. But that was nothing.

  Slowly and deliberately, she started unbuttoning the shirt she wore over her tank top. I shook my head in disbelief. As she shimmied it off her shoulders, she didn’t miss a beat. She eyed me before tossing it off stage. It smacked me in the face, and the frat guys cheered.

  I had never seen anything so sexy in my entire life. Talk about lady in the streets and a freak in a bed kinda situation. By the second chorus, she started tiptoeing off the stage. Holy Hell. She was coming for me. When she pointed at me, the crowd roared. As she slid into my lap, I couldn’t help but laugh. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to ignite a different kind of response from me. I fought to jerk her closer to me and bring my lips to hers. I wanted to thrust my tongue in her mouth while running my fingers through her hair.

  Luckily, Maddie began to laugh, and my horny thoughts momentarily passed. When the song ended, Maddie didn’t leave my lap. Another eager singer took the microphone from her and hurried to the stage. A sheen of sweat had broken out over Maddie’s face and body, and she had a sexy glow radiating off her. It was hard not to lean over and lick a sweaty trail up her neck.

  “So what’d you think of that?” she asked breathlessly. Her erratic breathing caused her ample chest to rise and fall, thrusting her boobs closer and closer to my face. At any moment, my dick was gonna call me out, and there would be no hiding it from Maddie.

  “I think I need to request prayer for you!” I called over the music. The truth was I needed a prayer request myself.

  Maddie grinned. “I was that good, huh?”

  I threw my head back and laughed. “Oh yeah, you were very good and very bad, too.”

  “So, you still think I’m the Pastor’s Little Princess?”

  “Nope, I think you’re more of a very naughty virgin tease.”

  She cocked her head. “Hmm, maybe I like that.”

  “Now wait a minute,” I began, giving her a look. “you have always worked not to conform to society’s ideals—you’re your own person, remember?”

  “Yes, I remember. And one night singing a little karaoke to prove a point doesn’t mean I’m abandoning everything I am, Noah.”

  “Are you positive? Cause if you’re not, I’m going to feel like I had some responsibility in all of this. The last thing I need is to feel like I’ve corrupted you.”

  Maddie smiled and leaned forward, sending her tits enticingly close to my mouth. “I’m positive. I’ll be back to my boring self tomorrow.” She made a sign across her chest. “Scout’s Honor!”

  I tried not letting my gaze hone in on where she’d touched her chest. We were interrupted by one of the frat boys stumbling over to our table. “Babe, that was seriously awesome. We’ve got a party coming up on Saturday night. Would you wanna come and you know…perform?”

  Maddie flushed the color of her pink tank top. “Um, no thanks,” she quickly replied.

  “Whatever.” He hesitated for a second. “Well, could I get your number?”

  “No!” Maddie blurted.

  “Okay,” the guy replied before slinking back to his table in defeat.

  I winked at her. “Charming college guys—my, my aren’t we Miss Popular tonight?”

  She giggled nervously. “You’re never to tell anybody about this, you swear?”

  “Oh, I don’t know if I can do that. It might be too tempting.”

  “Noah,” she protested, playfully swatting my arm. With my leg almost asleep, I shifted her weight over to my other leg. That caused her to lurch forward, and her lips were inches from mine. We both froze, staring into each other’s eyes. When she licked her lips, I groaned. “Maddie…” I murmured as I started inching closer and closer to claim her delicious mouth.

  Suddenly, she jerked her head back and scrambled out of my lap. She bolted so fast from the table I barely had time to call her name. I dug my wallet out of my pocket and threw some bills on the table as she scurried out the coffeehouse door.

  Wait, what the hell did I do? Her eyes and body language told me she wanted the same thing I did. Just as I reached the door, I skidded to a stop. I knew why she’d bolted. Someone on the stage started singing The Pet Shop Boys version of You Were Always on My Mind, and I knew with absolute certainty.

  Maddie was once and for all the one.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  The stifling May heat hit me when I got outside. I scanned the sidewalk for her. “Maddie!” I shouted. I hurried back in the direction of the movie theater where we’d parked. I found her slumped over on the hood of my Jeep. Her body rose and fell harshly with her sobs.

  “Maddie,” I said. Tentatively, I reached my hand out and touched her shoulder. Before I knew what was happening, she had wrapped her arms around me. “Shh, don’t cry,” I murmured into her hair. My arms tightened around her, pressing her against me. She felt like absolute and total heaven, and I never wanted to let her go. But in a way, I wanted to hold on as long as I could since things were about to change between us when I told her about the ring.

  “It…was…our…song,” she replied, in between sobs.

  I fought the urge to say, “Yeah, I kinda knew that.” But if I did, then I’d reveal what a major ass I was for not telling her about the ring.

  “It was?”

  “Um hmm,” she whimpered.

  “Whose song was it?” I questioned, wanting to hear her at least vocalize it.

  “Mine and Jake’s,” she replied in a whisper. I closed my eyes as my emotions rocketed through me, causing me to shudder.

  Maddie pulled away from me and wiped her eyes. “Jake sent it to me one day after we’d been working on poets who wrote about Courtly Love. You know, how they couldn’t have the person, so they had to tell them how they felt in words, rather than actions.”

  I fought an exasperated snort. Jesus, Jake was even deeper than I’d ever fathomed. Here I was thinking he’d just heard a jam, liked the song, and decided to charm her by making it theirs. Oh no, he’d searched out a song and related it to literature—an even more surefire way to melt Maddie.

  God, what a player!

  But then the more I thought about it, it almost seemed like a way of keeping her guessing. He could keep her at arm’s length, but at the same time appear as a hopeless romantic. It caused the blood to boil in my head, and if the asshole hadn’t been dead, I would’ve killed him myself for doing that to her. Once again, it was like my best friend was a total stranger to me.

  As if she were reading my thoughts, Maddie shook her head. “Yeah, but what’s a song right? It’s about being with the person totally and completely, not just being on their mind.”

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  She smiled ruefully at me. “I mean, I don’t think he ever really thought of me in that way. Sometimes the way he would talk to me or look at me made me think it, and then sometimes late at night whe
n we’d be talking, he’d say things like how much he cared about me—oh and he did kiss me once.”

  I felt like I was in a club and the music had screeched to a halt. “He what?”

  She nodded as a red flush entered her cheeks. “Yeah, it was right before he left on Spring Break. He came by my house. I told him to be careful and have fun—just not too much fun,” Maddie said with a smile. “Then when he got ready to go, he turned back to me and he—he kissed me. I didn’t question him about it—he didn’t mention it the entire time he was gone until that last day.”

  “What did he say?” I questioned, softly.

  “First, he said he’d bought me something that he wanted to give me. He said he’d had it for a month or so, but the right time hadn’t ever come up. Then he said he’d been thinking about our kiss. And that there were things he wanted to tell me. But he got another call and had to go.” She looked up at me with tears brimming in her eyes. “And then he was gone.”

  Tell her now, you asshat! I drew in a deep breath, but Maddie brought her hand to my chest. “It’s okay, Noah. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I mean, whatever it was that I felt for Jake or what we had together—it’s in the past. So, let’s talk about something else, okay?”

  What could I say? No, wait a minute, I need to tell you that Jake didn’t wanna just kiss you again, but he wanted to marry you. But I didn’t. The words just wouldn’t come, so I merely nodded my head and opened the door of the Jeep for her.

  I drove home feeling like an absolute tool.

  The next week flew by in a whirlwind of graduation activities. We didn’t have school—we were officially finished. GPA’s and class standings were tallied, and I wasn’t too surprised to find that Maddie was going to be the Valedictorian. Mom was thrilled that I’d managed to graduate with honors, but I was thrilled I was graduating period.

  We spent the mornings marching in and out of the ‘God dome’, the mega-church in town where all the county high schools held their graduation ceremonies. We’d nicknamed it ‘the God dome’ because it was roughly the size of the Georgia Dome. The Senior Advisors, Mrs. Clarke and Mr. Duncan, religiously timed us and made sure everything was going to come under an hour.