Tainted

CHAPTER TWO

  Sebastian is talkative as we walk back to my quarters. I am silent for the most part, listening to him describe ‘the big game’ that happened on the weekend. Usually I would have been present for a basketball tournament. Instead, I was behind on my community service hours and spent the day helping in the kitchens.

  I nod and add prompting questions at the appropriate points, but I’m not particularly interested. The nerves churning in my gut make it difficult to focus on anything other than Quinn. What if there’s an official waiting at home with the news that Quinn is gone?

  All too quickly we reach the area of the ARC where I live. My quarters are down the far end of the North Wing—or the ‘forsaken corner’ as I more fondly think of it. It’s nearly always empty and this evening is no different. With worn-out paint in the hallways, desolate grey concrete floors, the strange smell of damp and rust, and darkened light fixtures that haven’t been replaced in years, it’s no surprise nobody wants to live here. But for some of us, especially orphans like Quinn and me, it’s the perfect place to be left undisturbed.

  We reach the turnoff to my corridor, which has to be one of the dimmest places in the whole of the ARC, and I stop dead in my tracks. Terror rushes through me and I feel heavy inside like my whole body has been cemented to the spot.

  ‘I can’t look,’ I say to Sebastian. My mind assumes the worst. I don’t want to look down the corridor to see an official standing there, positioned right by my door, in his crisp white blazer and white matching pants. Waiting to tell me the news I dread to hear.

  ‘I’m sure there’s no one there,’ Sebastian says, as though he can see the chilling picture my mind paints. ‘Do you want me to look for you?’ he asks.

  ‘No,’ I shake my head, ‘I can do this. I just need a second.’

  Sebastian waits patiently by my side as I build up the courage to take a look. After what seems like an eternity, I finally brace myself and peek my head around the corner. The corridor is empty and a wave of relief hits me. There’s no one there.

  ‘She’s okay?’ I say the words with disbelief.

  Sebastian gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. ‘Looks like it,’ he says gladly. He stands back and allows me to go first.

  I rush down the hallway towards my room, confident now there’s no one here. An official would wait all day to deliver the news your loved one was gone. It was a sign of respect but also, I suspect, a way of ensuring those left behind are compliant.

  Finally, after the day from hell, I can relax.

  I fumble to get my swipe card out of my pocket, clumsy in my eagerness to get in and see for myself Quinn’s okay.

  I open the door, beaming like an idiot, ready to give Quinn a hard time for being so worried. But my face drops and my heart plummets as the doors swings in.

  The room is empty.

  I stare at the sparse, empty shell of a room hoping to see evidence Quinn’s been back, but the room is just as I left it. The two small metal beds are pushed into the corners, their bright white sheets flattened over them, just as they were this morning. Quinn’s treasured Vogue magazine lies open on the plain, white bedside table that stretches between our two mattresses, still opened to the same page she left it on last night, and her makeup continues its messy possession, all over the top, of the only dressing table in our small room.

  As I stare into it, an overwhelming sense of detachment engulfs me and any feelings of warmth or comfort I may have felt towards this space, the only place I’ve ever thought of as home, disappears.

  ‘Elle…’ The echo of Sebastian’s pleading voice registers on the outer edge of my awareness. I stagger into the room, all the while staring at Quinn’s empty bed.

  ‘Where is she?’ is all I can manage to say; as if maybe she’s hiding under the bed, or maybe she’s gone to get dinner.

  Sebastian comes up behind me and I sense him begin to gently rub my arms in what I suppose he assumes is a comforting way. I feel so detached from my body though I can barely feel it.

  ‘No,’ I shake my head, ‘No, there’s no way she’s been taken.’

  I instinctively bring up Quinn’s username on my cuff.

  ‘C’mon, c’mon,’ I say, hitting connect. The blue light dances across the display, but eventually it winks out as the comm disconnects. Barely a second passes before I’ve hit connect again.

  ‘Elle maybe you should have a seat…’

  ‘She’s not gone Sebastian. She can’t be,’ I mutter to myself. ‘There was no official. She has to be here.’

  ‘Elle!’ Sebastian grabs a hold of my shoulders and spins me round to face him. ‘I don’t want her to be tainted either, but if she’s not answering her comm...’

  I drop my arm down as my attempted comm times out yet again and I look up at him. Sebastian’s brow is furrowed with concern and his eyes are dark with anxiety.

  He thinks she’s gone.

  ‘I’d know if she was tainted,’ I say, my voice betraying my uncertainty.

  ‘There’s no way you could know…’

  My eyes drop down, looking away from his pitying stare. He’s right of course, but I don’t want to hear it. We don’t know anything about what being tainted actually means. All we know is it’s an after effect from the asteroid causing people to get sick. We don’t know anything about the symptoms, only they’re picked up in our annual testing. There’s no way I’d have been able to tell.

  ‘She hasn’t been taken Sebastian,’ I say firmly, taking a step backwards out of his grasp. ‘She wouldn’t just leave me.’

  ‘She wouldn’t have had a choice…’ His words seem to linger in the silence of the room.

  I hate that word. Choice. It’s always sounded like such a luxury, but down here there are only so many choices you get to make and whether you’re taken is not one of them. Though some have tried…

  ‘What if she went through with it?’ I say, as the memory of Quinn’s words this morning resurface. ‘What if she tried to hide?’

  My stomach does an uneasy lurch and a wave of nausea hits me. No one ever hides and gets away with it. I click connect on my cuff again, more urgently this time. My hands shake visibly. In fact, my whole body feels weak like I haven’t eaten in days.

  ‘I don’t feel so good,’ I say, swaying unsteadily on my feet.

  Sebastian takes a hold of me and guides me towards the bed. He sits on the mattress and I drop down to sit next to him, letting my head droop against his shoulder.

  ‘I can’t lose someone else,’ I whisper to him. He doesn’t respond. I doubt he knows what to say. Instead he wraps his arm around me and pulls me close.

  ‘I’m sure she’s out celebrating,’ he eventually says. ‘You know her. She may be ditzy sometimes, but she’s not stupid. She wouldn’t have tried to hide.’

  I don’t know whether to feel better or worse about this, but he’s right. She’s never been one to hide from confrontation or danger. She’s either out socialising or she’s… I can’t bear to even think the word.

  ‘Do you remember that first day you met Quinn?’ Sebastian asks.

  ‘How can I forget?’ I say with a sad laugh. It was just after April was taken. Quinn had been busy flirting with some guy who was way too old for her, but then she saw me walking down the hallway crying. She stopped everything to come and talk to me, to check if I was okay. She’s never been one to beat around the bush.

  ‘Do you remember what you said to her?’ Sebastian asks gently.

  I take a deep breath and slowly blow it out. ‘That I had nothing left to lose.’ The words seem to stick in my throat as I say them. I felt like I had lost everything after April was gone. All I wanted was to be found tainted and to be taken away too.

  ‘She gave me a hug and told me it wasn’t the end, and if she had anything to do with it I’d at the very least be stuck with her.’ I give another sad laugh and wipe away a tear that has found its way down my cheek.

  My life completel
y changed that day. After April was taken I’d been determined to never get close to anyone ever again, but Quinn’s personality was infectious. It wasn’t long before she’d added herself to the small list of people I consider my family.

  Sebastian peers down at me and smiles. ‘She certainly came through in that respect.’ The smile drops from his face as he continues. ‘I know you still like to think you’re that girl who has no one left, but you’re wrong. You have so many friends, Dad still sees you like a daughter and you have me. You’re not alone anymore. You never really have been.’

  I lift my head off Sebastian’s shoulder and turn to him. For such a long time I’ve felt like it’s just me against the world and I have nobody to lean on. Over the years I’ve become better at masking it. How did he know I still felt that way?

  After several moments, I look away, uncomfortable with the concern I see in his eyes. I hate that he can see straight through the walls I put up. ‘I can’t just sit here and wait any longer,’ I say. ‘I need to go to the hospital. I need to do something.’

  He exhales loudly, as though disappointed with my response. ‘We both know that’s a bad idea, you’ll get in trouble,’ he says.

  ‘So?’ I respond, unemotionally.

  ‘So, they don’t want you asking questions.’

  ‘I don’t care what they want!’

  As soon as the words have left my mouth I gasp and clamp my hand across my lips. I shouldn’t have said it, even if we are in the privacy of my room.

  Sebastian falls silent and looks around the room warily, as if worried the walls have ears.

  ‘I … I didn’t mean it. You know I didn’t—’

  A loud banging at the door causes me to halt. How could they know what I said?

  I quickly realise it’s highly unlikely I was overheard. No, whoever stands on the other side of the door isn’t here for me.

  I slip Sebastian’s arm from around my shoulders and go to stand, my legs trembling beneath me. For a moment I stare at the door and listen to the loud thuds that cause the frame to shudder.

  I turn back to Sebastian. My fear must be clearly painted across my face because he quickly stands.

  ‘Let me get it,’ he insists, standing to face the door.

  I take a hesitant step backwards, my arms hugged tightly around my body.

  This is it. The moment I’ve been dreading all day has finally arrived.