Torn
The only thing that Polly had going for her (in our eyes at least) was the fact that she could sing. Like, really well. And she wasn’t shy about doing it either. She would perform at the end-of-term concert and everyone would be amazed. It was almost like we forgot, year to year, that she had this incredible talent that made us all jealous. When Polly sang, she looked sort of beautiful.
As far as I was aware, Polly didn’t even cross Tara’s radar until about a year ago. Cass was the first one to notice that Polly had started following Tara around, acting like a little lapdog. Tara seemed to tolerate her, but that was all. She’d let Polly sit at her table at lunch. Polly would sit at the end of the table, reading (or pretending to read) a book, while Tara and Gemma and Sam and Danni chatted and laughed and ignored her. Everyone thought it was weird. No one else had sat at that table for at least two years. Cass’s theory was that Tara saw Polly as a pet. I wasn’t so sure.
I craned my neck to watch Polly head back to her seat. She stopped and said something to Tara, who was presiding over the coach from the middle seat right at the back. Then she sat down in the empty row just in front of Tara’s crew. Just before I turned away, Tara caught my eye. We looked at each other for a second or two before Cass thumped me on the shoulder, wanting to show me a video on her phone.
That happened sometimes. I’d notice Tara looking at me or she’d notice me looking at her, and whenever it happened I thought, I can’t believe we used to be friends.
The rest of the journey was uneventful. Cass let me sit next to the window as soon as we got to the Scottish border and I gazed out at the passing scenery. It was like England, only wetter. There was crap music blaring out from the back of the bus. I hate being forced to listen to other people’s music, so I plugged myself into my iPod and turned it up loud. The rest of the world disappeared for a while.
6
I opened my eyes when the coach stopped. Cass laughed at me and said I’d been snoring. Which was a load of crap – I hadn’t even been asleep. A quick glance out the window confirmed it was still raining. We milled around getting soaked while the driver and Mr Miles pulled out our rucksacks and Daley went looking for the person in charge of the place. It wasn’t much to look at; a few cabins in the soggy woods. I’d checked it out on Google before we left. The middle of nowhere – lots of mountains, a creepy forest and a loch. I looked at my phone and sure enough, there was no reception. Not that it mattered, as Mr Miles had already made it very clear that this was to be a notech holiday. We’d be handing in our phones, iPods, BlackBerrys and anything else that would make the week even slightly bearable.
We eventually got out of the rain and into the biggest of the buildings, which turned out to be a pine-panelled hall where we’d be having our meals. Rows of chairs were laid out facing a stage, and Daley told us to sit down. Cass and I sat in the back row. Three people were up on the stage, all looking superoutdoorsy in their primary-coloured fleeces. Daley had clearly made the right style choice.
A woman stepped forward and introduced herself. Her name was Jess and she had greying dreadlocks and a friendly face. She welcomed us to Loch Dunochar and told us what the next week had in store for us. Basically a lot of being outside in the pissing rain, running around in the woods and embarrassing ourselves in front of our peers. Well, that’s not exactly what she said, but that was pretty much the gist of it. Getting back to nature – that’s what she said. ‘How are we supposed to get back to nature when the closest we’ve ever been is London bloody Zoo or Camden on a Saturday night?’ I whispered to Cass. She rolled her eyes.
The guy standing next to Jess was clearly bored – he must have heard this spiel a hundred times before. He looked way too cool to be there: shaved head, eyebrow piercing and a tattoo peeking out from the sleeve of his fleece. He was wearing baggy shorts and flip-flops and his legs were tanned. God knows how he got a tan like that around here. I couldn’t help staring at his calf muscles.
His name was Duncan and he had the nicest accent I’d ever heard. Turned out he was going to be in charge of most of the activities we’d be doing. I looked around and pretty much all of us were hanging on his every word. Tara was eyeing him up like a tasty snack. Clearly we were all thinking the same: Maybe this week isn’t going to be so bad after all. As soon as I thought that, a new worry came crashing down on me: You are going to embarrass yourself in front of the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your life.
The only ones who seemed immune to Duncan’s charms were Cass, who was staring out of the window, and Rae who was (as usual) surreptitiously plugged into her headphones and nibbling at her fingernails. A week without music was going to be a total nightmare for her. She might actually have to talk to real people.
The other guy introduced himself as Paul, but we were so not interested. He was older and beardy and not Duncan. He went on about safety and making sure we listened carefully to our instructors and he told us not to go wandering off into the woods on our own.
Cass put her hand up to ask a question. ‘Why shouldn’t we go into the woods on our own? Is there some mad axe-man out there or something?’
Paul and Jess exchanged looks which obviously meant This one’s trouble.
Danni nudged Tara and then mouthed the word pathetic in Cass’s direction. Cass none-too-subtly stuck up her middle finger at Danni.
‘No, there’s no mad axe-man … that we know of anyway.’ And he laughed a stupid horror-movie laugh. We stared at him until he stopped. ‘No, but seriously, it can be dangerous out here. This area is riddled with caves and potholes, as you’ll be finding out for yourselves tomorrow, courtesy of Mr Fletcher here.’ He gestured towards Duncan before carrying on. ‘If you don’t know where you’re going, you could easily find yourself falling down a hole and breaking a leg. Or a neck. And with all this lovely weather we’ve been having, the rivers are in full flow, so no latenight fishing trips for you ladies, OK?’ This guy is a weirdo. ‘And I won’t even mention the lions and tigers and bears.’ Yep, a proper weirdo.
Polly’s hand went up. ‘Are there really bears around here?’ she asked hesitantly. Everyone laughed and I felt bad for her. When would she learn that it’s always best to keep your mouth shut?
Paul tried his best not to smile. ‘No, there are no bears. And no lions or tigers for that matter. There are supposed to be wildcats in this area, but I’ve never seen one. The most fearsome creatures round here are the midges, which will eat you alive if they get half a chance. Lucky for you lot, they’re only a problem in summer.’
‘Yeah, like Scotland even has a summer,’ I muttered to no one in particular.
And then the introductions were over and we lined up to hand in our phones and stuff to Daley. Tara tried to pretend she hadn’t brought her phone with her, but Daley just stood there waiting until Tara gave up and handed it over. She flounced away, going on about it being an infringement of her civil rights and what if there was some kind of emergency? She had a point. I felt kind of anxious that I wouldn’t be able to speak to Dad for six days. I’d always been able to ring him before, just to check things were OK.
Then came the part I’d been dreading: sorting out the sleeping arrangements. There were six cabins, each sleeping five girls. Everyone looked around, sizing each other up, ready for a free-for-all. I edged closer to Cass. Tara and Danni and Gemma and Sam looked ready to audition girls for the coveted (or not) fifth spot in what would no doubt be the cushiest cabin of the lot.
But Daley surprised us by taking a piece of paper from her pocket. ‘I’ve already allocated each of you to a cabin, so if you could go and stand with your cabinmates when I read out your name.’
‘AW, MISS?!’ The chorus included pretty much everyone. I was too horrified to speak. Tara was giving Daley major evils.
I felt nauseous as the names were read out. One by one, everyone went and stood together in their little groups, some looking happier than others. The witches had managed to wangle a cabin together, but their fearless leader wa
s left out in the cold. And then there were five:
Tara. Polly. Rae. Cass. And me.
Hardly what you’d call a dream team, but I was relieved that Cass and I would be together. And although Tara was the last person I wanted to share a room with, I did find it funny that she’d been separated from her loyal followers.
Tara was NOT happy. She stormed right up to Daley and gave her some spiel about this being completely ridiculous. We’d always been able to choose our own rooms before, and she wasn’t with any of her friends. She gestured towards us and didn’t even bother to disguise her disdain. ‘But I barely know these people!’ Not strictly true. She was on the swimming team with Cass, Polly was her new puppet, and I was … I don’t know … a little piece of history? The only one she genuinely didn’t know was Rae, but then no one really knew Rae.
Tara tried her best to convince Daley to let her swap cabins. She used some of her classic tricks: charm, logic, and a weird semi-flirtatious thing that works on all the teachers. When it was clear that Daley was having none of it, Tara tried for extreme petulance.
Daley cut her off. ‘Tara, is this really such a big deal? Can’t you bear to be separated from your entourage for a few nights? It might do you good to spend time with some different people for a change.’
I thought Tara was going to deck her. No one ever talked to her like that. Daley was fast becoming one of my very favourite people.
Tara looked around, well aware that she was looking like an idiot, and that if she carried on, Daley might humiliate her further. She shrugged. ‘Whatever. Who cares, anyway? This whole trip is a joke.’ She flicked her salon-perfect hair as she meandered over to stand next to me.
Daley smiled at us. ‘Right, so everyone’s happy then? Marvellous! Off you go to your cabins. I think you’ll find your names already on the doors.’
Tara shook her head, hardly able to believe what had just happened.
I smiled at her in what I thought was a sympathetic way. She didn’t smile back. Bitch.
7
Our cabin was … cabin-y. More pine. Five uncomfortable-looking beds with matching tartan blankets which looked mega-scratchy. At least there was a bathroom. That was another thing I’d been dreading: some kind of outdoor shower/toilet-block situation. So the bathroom was a big relief, and it was actually pretty nice too.
Of course Tara was the first to bagsy a bed. She went for the one nearest the door, all the better to make her escape. She dumped her rucksack on the bed and did just that – escaped. No prizes for guessing where she was going – the witches were in the cabin next to ours.
I took the bed furthest away from Tara’s. Not on purpose, it just worked out like that. Cass had the bed next to mine. Polly started unpacking her stuff straightaway, laying out clothes on her bed and carefully refolding them before putting them away in the drawers underneath. If you listened carefully, you could hear her singing under her breath.
I started to unpack, just dumping the stuff from my rucksack straight into the drawers. Nothing was ironed anyway. I always ironed Dad’s clothes because he needed to look semi-presentable for work. But by the time I’d finished with all his trousers and shirts (shirts were the worst), I could never be bothered to do mine.
Cass lay on her bed, alternating between muttering about having to share a cabin with that bitch and getting excited about the potholing tomorrow. She’d done it a few times before. Cass and her family never go on normal holidays like normal people. They always have to do stuff, like horse-riding or climbing or sailing. Weird.
Potholing was probably near the bottom of my list of things I ever wanted to try in my life. I get claustrophobic in lifts, so underground caves and tunnels and tiny crevasses are hardly my idea of a fun time. Cass tried her best to convince me that it was ‘a total rush’, but I wasn’t buying it.
Cass stopped mid-babble and shouted, ‘Oi! Rae!’ across the room. I had no idea why she was shouting until I saw that Rae was plugged into her iPod. Huh? She was lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling.
Rae turned to Cass and pulled off her headphones. ‘What?’
‘How did you manage to get that past Daley?’
Rae smiled. I don’t think I’d ever seen her smile before. ‘Brought a spare. Nicked it off my sister last night. She’s gonna kill me for wiping her music, even if it was just a lot of electro-crap.’
‘Nice one,’ said Cass, as Rae plugged herself back in. I was annoyed I hadn’t thought of smuggling in a spare phone. I could have brought Mum’s. I keep it in my desk drawer – not sure why.
I noticed that Polly had stopped unpacking and was watching us. As soon as she realized that I’d noticed her, she looked away. She arranged an alarm clock, some moisturizer and a book on her bedside table, then went into the bathroom, probably to arrange some stuff in there.
We didn’t see Tara again till dinnertime. As I was tucking into my not-too-bad tuna bake I saw her making a beeline over to a table in the corner. A table where Duncan was sitting, alone, with a book propped up behind his plate. He didn’t seem bothered at the interruption. Why would he? What hot-blooded male could resist the charms of Tara Chambers? None that I’d ever met, that was for sure. Tara’s posse wasn’t far behind, and he didn’t seem to mind that either. I couldn’t stop watching them: the way Tara touched Duncan’s shoulder on more than one occasion; the way her hair fell in front of her face before she oh-socoyly tucked it behind an ear; the way she took dainty bites of her salad and dabbed at her mouth with a napkin.
I was so intent on watching Tara’s table that a great big dollop of cheesy tomatoey tuna escaped from my fork and landed on my lap. Cass laughed so hard she choked on her water. I watched as she coughed and spluttered.
‘Serves you right for laughing at me. And don’t think I’m going to Heimlich you. If you die, it’s your own fault … I might come to your funeral though – if I’ve got nothing better to do.’ This made her laugh and choke even more, so I gave her a couple of half-hearted pats on the back, which did precisely nothing. Eventually Cass was able to breathe again. She punched me on the arm. It hurt.
‘Thanks! Some friend you are. Next time you’re dying, I’ll be right there … not caring.’
‘Whatever. I’ve got a serious tuna-crotch situation going on here.’
Cass wrinkled her nose. ‘Gross. You’d better go and change before Tara notices and gives you a new nickname.’
I stood to leave. ‘A new nickname? What’s the old one?’
But Cass wouldn’t tell, and I didn’t push her. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, I guess.
They put on a film for us later that night – not my cup of tea at all. Tara and her posse sat directly behind me and I had to listen to them whispering all the way through. I tried to ignore it and concentrate on the painfully predictable events unfolding on-screen, but it was impossible. Duncan seemed to be the main subject of the conversation, which started like this:
Danni: He totally fancies you.
Tara: Do you reckon? (Could no one else hear how disingenuous that sounded?)
Danni and Sam and Gemma: Totally! (Did they practise speaking in chorus?)
Tara: He is pretty hot, I suppose.
Danni: You should totally go for it. You know, his cabin is the one just behind yours …
Tara: How do you know that?
Danni: I make it my business to know the exact location of all hot men within a one-hundred-metre radius. (This was perhaps the funniest thing I’d ever heard Danni say. Except she wasn’t joking.)
Sam: I reckon you should pay him a visit one night … say, if you had an insect bite that needed some lotion rubbing on it …?
Gemma: Yeah! You SO should!
Tara (sounding thoughtful): We’ll see.
The thought of Tara creeping into Duncan’s cabin made me feel sort of sick. He wouldn’t actually do anything with her … would he? He’d lose his job for sure. And probably get arrested or something. Maybe I should warn him? Don’t be so ridiculous
. What would you say? ‘The hottest girl in our school wants to get in your pants. And I don’t think you should let her.’ Yeah, that’d work.
I looked to see if Cass was listening too, but she was engrossed in the film. She has a bit of a penchant for lame rom-coms, a fact that never fails to surprise me. I can’t stand them – there are only so many ridiculous coincidences a girl can take.
I was the first one back to the cabin after the film. At least I thought I was – but Polly was there, scrabbling around on the floor near Tara’s bed.
‘Lost something?’
‘What? Oh, yes.’ She stood up and went over to her bed and started fluffing up the pillows. ‘It doesn’t matter though. It was just a hair grip – I’ve got lots.’ She was wearing a long nightgown, the sort my nan wears. I felt bad for her; Tara would have a field day.
The rest of us were all in bed by the time Tara swanned in. No doubt she’d been busy planning her assault on Duncan. Without a word, she started stripping off her clothes. Not an ounce of self-consciousness. I was kind of jealous of that. She seemed to take ages getting changed, like she was enjoying showing off her body.
‘You can stop staring at me now, Cass,’ she said as she pulled a teeny-tiny vest over her head. ‘I’m decent.’
‘Fuck you, Tara.’ Cass looked over the top of the map she was studying.
‘You’d like that, wouldn’t you?’ She laughed and blew a kiss in Cass’s direction before flouncing into the bathroom.
‘Bitch,’ Cass muttered.
‘Just ignore her,’ I said.
‘Easier said than done. You know, one of these days she’ll get what she deserves.’ Cass was always saying things like this. I never thought anything of it.
8
Cass was in the foulest of foul moods the next morning. At breakfast she munched her cornflakes in such an aggressive way that I thought she might break a tooth. She hadn’t bothered to wash her hair and it was all over the place. I’d shampooed my hair twice, conditioned it, straightened it … and then tied it back in a boring old ponytail.