Watched

When I stepped out of the elevator, Mrs. J met me.

  “You feeling all right this morning, Christy?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” I replied. “One hundred percent better, actually.” And I did. I was floating above the ground and nothing could bring me down—not today. Not after hearing about how both Alex and Rick stayed with me yesterday. I smiled and walked past her toward the breakfast room.

  “Christy,” Mrs. J called out. “We’re in the conference room today. We’re eating in there again. We changed our plans slightly, so that we would have more time to practice debating.”

  I looked through the breakfast room doors wishing I could go in.

  “Come on, Christy. You’re already late.”

  I followed her into the conference room. I needed to talk to Jeremy, and I was stuck in the darn conference room. The two FBI agents seemed to come down to breakfast only minutes before we left at eight o’clock each day. I wondered how they always had impeccable timing, almost like they had our schedule. They probably did. I wondered who else had our schedule. A cold chill shook my body.

  Everyone was already seated, eating. I looked over at all the other tables and found my mini-group spread out all over the room. When I looked at Rick, I felt my lips tingle and my heart race. I pressed them together and looked away. Trying to deny the truth was a difficult thing. Everyone was talking with the people at their tables, and each table had a list of names in the center, along with the subject assigned to us for the debate. It wasn’t hard to find my table. It was the only one with an empty chair. Our subject: immigration. Surprise, surprise. It felt like a conspiracy.

  Only then did I notice that no sound came from anyone at my table, they all stared at me, mouths closed.

  “So, what are we supposed to be doing?” I asked, trying to get things rolling.

  One girl with long, brown curly hair answered. “We’re supposed to be discussing immigration, the pros and cons, and then decide who is going to argue each side.”

  “Oh,” I said. “What have you discussed so far?”

  “Nothing,” a red-headed boy said. “We were waiting on you.”

  I guess my presentation the other night gave them the idea that I knew all there was to know about the subject. They all readied their pens and pencils to take notes and stared hard at me. I guess I did know a lot after all the research I’d done, but, I didn’t want to tell them how to think, so I said, “Well, what are some of the problems with immigration that you’ve all heard about? Let’s make a list and dissect them.”

  After discussing a few things, the ball was rolling, and I wasn’t the center of attention anymore. They all loved to talk and argue their points. I was so glad. I glanced at the clock. Seven-fifty-five. Jeremy and Nathan would probably be in the breakfast room by now.

  I felt the small piece of paper, intended for the FBI, grow heavy in my hand and decided I should take a trip to the bathroom.

  I went straight for the breakfast room, but there was no sign of Jeremy or Nathan. I turned back toward the door and bumped into Jeremy.

  Something peculiar happened the moment I saw his face. I remembered how it had felt to hug him and have him hug me and I wanted that again. Somehow, I had to feel that secure and safe feeling of comfort again. When he hugged me at the FBI office, it was like the hug I’d never received from my own dad somehow. I threw my arms around him and squeezed tight. He pulled his arms from under mine and carefully, not completely, wrapped his around me. It wasn’t the same as it had been in the FBI office, but there was a glimmer of the security there, in his arms.

  “Whoa, Jeremy, someone’s missed you,” Nathan said, punching Jeremy’s arm.

  Jeremy was now trying to pry my arms from his waist. I looked up at him. Concern shadowed his face, and I felt a bit silly. I didn’t know why I had done that really. Maybe, when I had most needed to feel safe, when I had to recount the murder, he was there. I guess he represented safety and comfort to me.

  “Do you have some of that for me, too?” Nathan asked.

  I played along and gave him a big hug. There was no safety, no security there.

  “Where’s everybody?” Jeremy asked, winking at me.

  “We’re in the conference room all day,” I explained. “I don’t know if we’ll have any free time tonight.”

  “Bummer,” Nathan said.

  “You could always come and check,” I offered.

  “Sure, Christy,” Jeremy said.

  “Great,” I said, and started to walk away, until I remembered the paper in my hand. Seeing Jeremy and hugging him had given me the comfort and assurance I needed and made me almost forget why I had been looking for them in the first place. I fingered the note in my pocket and decided not to give it to him. “Hope I’ll get to see you.”

  I rushed back into the conference room. After we researched and discussed for three hours, we ate lunch. Then the debates started. The first addressed the economy.

  My group looked at me expectantly and handed me the paper with “PROS” written across the top. I guessed I would be debating today.

  The lack of preparation of some of the teams was almost sickening. I hated being bored, but more than that, I hated to feel like I knew more about a subject than a supposed expert speaker/debater.

  Most of the room was engaged during the debates. Not me. I was so glad when it was finally our turn to debate. I hoped for some excitement. Unfortunately, my opponent was weak and the debate didn’t last long.

  By five o’clock all the assigned topics had been debated and discussed, and Mrs. Jackson had no other choice but to let us go. I was glad to hear that she had been as disappointed with the debates as I had been. She encouraged us to study for the final debate so we wouldn’t all look silly.

  Heading out of the room, I ran into Alex.

  “Hey, we’re going to grab something to eat and head over to The Mall. It’s really cool to watch the sun set from there. You want to come?” Butterflies flitted around inside me.

  Just then Marybeth, Kira and Rick popped up behind me. When I looked at Rick, I felt guilty.

  “What should we do tonight?” Kira asked. “We don’t really have to prepare for tomorrow’s debate do we?”

  “Uh…,” I stammered, not sure if Alex wanted everyone to know his plans and wanting to tell her everyone should prepare.

  “We were just talking about getting a bite to eat and then heading over to The Mall to watch the sun set.” Alex offered, no excitement in his voice, eyeing Rick.

  I was proud of him for telling them.

  “You guys coming?” I asked, kind of hoping they weren’t.

  “Sure, when are you leaving?” Kira asked, as she looked at both Marybeth and Rick to make sure they wanted to go, too. They both nodded.

  “Now,” Alex said.

  “I need to run to my room right quick,” Kira said.

  “Me, too,” Marybeth said.

  “Just meet us at the pizza place at the end of the block,” Alex said.

  Rick kept moving his eyes between Alex and me until Kira grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the elevator.

  “Come on, Rick. You wouldn’t let us go by ourselves would you?” she asked, flirtation mode on high.

  “Of course not,” he said, looking back at me and rolling his eyes.

  I felt sorry for him, but he shouldn’t let everyone push him around in the name of chivalry. I even felt sorry for Kira. Why would she still be trying to force a relationship with Rick? He obviously wasn’t into her. Why did Rick have to be so darn polite? It irritated me. They disappeared into the elevator.

  Alex grabbed my hand and led me out the front door. Somehow, his touch made me feel alive. My fingers clung to his. I never wanted to let go; and yet I felt nervous, because I had to tell him about the decision I had made last night. I hadn’t made it without a lot of thought. Despite the way I felt every time I saw him or was with him, he and I weren’t compatible. I couldn’t be my best self with him, even if I wanted to bel
ieve I could be and in just a few short days, it would all be over anyway.

  Hot tears forced themselves into my eyes as I thought about it. I had to really work to push them back. I was so close to letting it all out, my nose burned. I had to make time to tell both Alex and Rick what I’d decided sometime tonight—no matter how much I didn’t want to.

  The Pizzeria was almost deserted. Only a few tables near the front of the restaurant had anyone sitting at them, and quiet rock music played in the background. With no hostess near the entrance, we went looking for Josh and Summer, who were already there. It smelled amazing. Pizza always smelled so good.

  It seemed to get darker and darker the further into the restaurant we went, though. The walls and tables were bare except for a rare picture and a vase of fake flowers at each table. It spooked me.

  Summer and Josh were tucked away in a small booth in the back. One look at me and Summer said, “Did you have to bring her?”

  “Knock it off, Summer,” Alex said in an extremely mean voice.

  She shrunk into Josh’s arms.

  “We ordered already,” Josh said.

  “I’ll order more. Our whole group is coming. And you will play nice, Summer. I mean it.” Alex motioned with one arm for me to slide in next to Josh and he walked away. I felt totally out of place and hoped he would hurry. It didn’t take long at all. Maybe a few minutes. When he did get back, he pulled a small table from the center of the room, pushed it up against the booth table, and brought three chairs to set around it. I loved it. He thought of the others.

  “Feel better?” he asked, letting a big grin spread across his face.

  “Definitely!” I said, louder than was necessary.

  He slid all the way next to me. His warm arm sizzled against mine. The feelings he gave me were anything but ordinary, and I loved every second of it. I had hoped that once I’d made up my mind to tell him I couldn’t ever be with him, that the hold he had on me would vanish. Ha. Ha. If anything, it got stronger.

  He turned his head toward me, lifted his right elbow to the table and cradled his chin in his hand. His face seemed to glow in the dim light, self-assured and yet somewhere deep, vulnerable. It was hard to be watched by someone so perfect. My face felt hot, and I wanted to look away, but was captive. His left hand found mine, and I started breathing harder, faster. Even though I felt idiotic, there was no physical way for me to look away. The idiocy was being taken over by a burning, tingling sensation that spread through my entire body.

  He nuzzled up to my ear and whispered, “So, tell me about yourself, Christy. Start from the beginning and don’t stop until you reach this very moment.”

  He brushed his cheek against mine, his spicy scent filling my brain with utter nonsense. I couldn’t find any words, and I didn’t care.

  When his cheek left mine, my mind started to clear, and I remembered that he had asked me a question. What was it? I searched my memory, relishing the tingle on my cheek. His eyes held mine with a spellbinding intensity and I wondered if speech would ever come to me again. The decisions I’d made the night before didn’t seem important anymore. They could wait.

  I heard loud scraping noises of chairs being moved on the tile floor that brought me quickly out of my reverie.

  Marybeth, Eugene and Rick took a seat around the little table Alex had joined to ours.

  Embarrassment crashed over me. What had they seen? How long had they been standing there?

  Kira’s eyes were mega-wide and her mouth gaped open, while Rick looked down at me with the look of the betrayed. All the sensations that held me bound moments earlier, vanished. I had to look away from his gaze.

  Kira pushed her way past the chairs Alex had set around the table and sat next to Alex, pushing him against me even more. My face flushed as I caught Rick’s continuous stare. I liked Alex, but it was all too apparent that I liked Rick, too.

  Kira immediately started talking to Alex as the others found their seats. She didn’t want to believe Alex was interested in me. Rick sat kiddy-corner to me and we had a perfect view of each other. His hurt expression sawed at my heart.

  Back home, I would have considered Rick a ten. If I’d been sixteen, I wouldn’t have hesitated dating him—not that he’d have asked me. But, here he was put up against true perfection: Alex. It hardly seemed fair.

  “How did you find this place?” Kira asked Alex.

  “Uhh,” Alex hedged. “My parents used to bring me here a lot when I was younger. The pizza is awesome here.”

  “So, you did live here,” Eugene said, eyebrows raised.

  “No,” Alex answered a bit tersely. “We just spent a lot of time in D.C.”

  “Oh,” Eugene said, looking at the table.

  Kira broke in with a string of questions. “Where did you grow up?”

  “All over. We didn’t really live in one place for very long,” Alex answered.

  “That would totally suck to have to change schools a lot,” Kira said.

  “I didn’t go to school,” he answered.

  That caught everyone’s attention, except Rick’s. He looked only at me, which prevented me from joining the conversation, because I couldn’t think straight.

  “You didn’t go to high school?” Summer broke in, eyebrows pressed together and her lips parted.

  “No,” he said. “I was tutored.”

  A huge debate about the pros and cons of high school education ensued; the best debate I’d heard the whole time I’d been in D.C. Summer and Josh couldn’t imagine having a fun life without school and sports. Marybeth felt tutoring was the way to go. Eugene felt school was a non-issue. Kira thought Alex must have been lonely his whole life, and Rick said nothing. I wished I’d been Alex and hadn’t had to go to high school. How nice.

  Every pre-conceived notion I’d had of Alex no longer seemed valid. I had him pegged as the most popular kid in his school, with girls hanging all over him, having girlfriend after girlfriend with no bounds to his social life. Maybe everything I’d imagined about him was false.

  Two of the biggest pizzas I’d ever seen were finally delivered to our table, by a portly, smiling waitress. Pitchers of water and coke sat in the middle of the table.

  I had to admit that the pizza tasted great, and it didn’t take long for it to disappear.

  We were about to head for The National Mall, when all the lights went out.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN