Watched

One bad thing about Mrs. J. was that she didn’t want us to miss anything about D.C., so we ended up missing everything. After incessant touring each day, we returned to our hotel at seven for dinner. Today was no exception. What I thought would be another drab night in the rec room turned out to be just the opposite. I had a lot of fun. All eight of us stuck together. I needed that more than I’d realized. Even though giving the letter to the FBI left me lighter, I still felt Iceman’s murderous eyes pushing hard on my soul. Maybe I’d have a chance to tell Rick about seeing him again. Maybe I’d even tell him about the guys at the FBI building.

  We’d all bunched into the wide open space between the couch and the humungous TV. Summer wanted to play a game again. My first thought was of Find It, the last game she’d suggested, the one that had led us to the bathroom vent and a bloody ballroom.

  This time she wanted to play, I’ve never. It sounded like fun, except for the fact that I would probably win. Typically, I liked to win, but in this case, I wanted to lose. Despite our recent adventure, I wanted to be the most adventurous, not the least, and winning this game labeled you the least adventurous person.

  We all had ten of something, paper pieces, jelly beans, coins—anything we could find to hold in our hands. One person would say something he or she had never done. If you had done it, you had to throw an item into the center of the circle. The last person holding an object won the game—and was labeled the least adventurous person there.

  Summer started, of course.

  “I’ve never broken a bone,” she said.

  Alex, Josh, Eugene and Kira all threw something in the circle.

  “I bet I’ve broken the most,” Josh said. “Count ‘em four big ‘uns.” Mr. Jock was a shoo-in.

  “Well then, I’ve broken the most,” Eugene said, “I’ve got five breaks to my name.”

  “Five? No way,” Josh said. “I can’t believe you beat me, geek. What were you doing to break bones? Playing war on the computer?”

  I couldn’t help thinking that it was more likely his clumsiness that caused his breaks.

  He didn’t have a chance to respond before Kira broke in.

  “What did you break, Alex?” she spoke in her most sensitive voice.

  “My nose.”

  Everyone laughed. I thought people who broke their noses had large, misshapen ones. Alex’s was perfect, and I stared, my heart fluttering.

  “I broke my leg skiing,” Kira said.

  “Where?” Alex asked.

  “Colorado,” she said, her eyes gleaming. She always seemed to sparkle when she got attention from a good looking guy.

  “I love skiing in Colorado. It’s the best,” Alex said.

  Everyone but me and Marybeth nodded and agreed. They were all loaded. I shouldn’t be surprised that they would travel all over to ski.

  Josh was next. “I’ve never worn a bra.” His look was smug.

  “Ahhh!” all the girls said in unison before throwing something in. And then Rick did too.

  “What the heck?” Josh said, throwing his head back in cackling laughter.

  We all looked at Rick for an explanation.

  “Look! I was a cheerleader for Halloween last year, I looked great,” he said, not the least bit embarrassed.

  “Whatever, dude,” Josh said.

  Totally cool! Any guy who still dressed up for Halloween was one of my heroes. I bet he’d be a ton of fun to have as a friend. Lost in thought, I found myself staring at him until he winked at me. My face burned.

  Eugene, of all people, when it was his turn, said proudly, “I’ve never kissed anyone outside of my family.”

  I watched in horror as everyone threw something down except for Eugene and me. Faking the movement of throwing something in crossed my mind, but I’d be lying if I did, so I just couldn’t fake it. I didn’t want to look like a bigger geek than I was, though. Even Marybeth had thrown something in. I stayed stone still, trying not to bring attention to myself.

  “Never?” Alex said, looking directly at me. His shocked look made me want to disappear.

  I tried to think of something funny or cool to say, but thought of nothing. I wasn’t funny or cool.

  So, I held my head high and said, “Never,” as proudly as a wounded person could.

  “How old are you anyway?” Summer asked, her face lighting up in a mean way.

  Great. Everyone was going to know that I was the youngest one here, too.

  “Fifteen,” I said, feeling my back slump. I wasn’t able to fake proud much longer.

  “You’re just a baby then,” Summer snickered. “You’ve still got some time. But, I got my first kiss when I was twelve.”

  I wanted to wipe that taunting smile off her fake face. Being kissed at twelve was nothing to brag about.

  “I thought you had to be a junior to come on this trip,” Eugene said. “Did you lie about your age or what?”

  “No,” I answered quickly, indignant at the suggestion. “I just wrote the essay and won. I didn’t know there was an age limit.”

  “You won?” Marybeth asked. “Won what?”

  “You know, the scholarship to come here on this trip,” Eugene said.

  Everyone stared at me with squinted eyes and turned down mouths.

  “I didn’t know there was a contest,” Marybeth said.

  “There was,” Eugene reported. “It was tough to get, too. Out of the fifty kids on this tour, they only gave out one scholarship. You not only had to be a total brain, but you also had to show financial need.”

  Total brain? Financial need? Kill me. Kill me now. I couldn’t look anyone in the face. I was mortified. I was a freak. Everyone knew now what a loser I was. The murder and being followed seemed almost insignificant at that moment. Once again, I was the social outcast.

  “A brainiac, huh?” Alex said, pausing with his mouth open.

  Surprised to hear my own voice, I said, “I thought it might be fun. Besides it was a free trip that I knew I could win.” Did I say free? Crap.

  “You actually wanted to go on this trip?” Alex asked. “I thought this was something that pompous political parents forced on their kids. I would never have come if my parents hadn’t made me.”

  “I wish I’d known about the contest,” Marybeth said bitterly, shaking her head. “I saved for two years to be able to come.”

  Two years? It would have taken me a lifetime to earn that much money, but still, I felt a twinge of guilt, thinking that I might have taken the place of someone like Marybeth, someone who really wanted to be a politician someday and had worked hard to get there.

  “That’s awesome Christy, only one out of fifty? Good job,” Rick said, staring at me. His eyes shining.

  A warm feeling flooded my body. Did both Alex and Rick like that I was smart? No way. They must just want something from me.

  “You didn’t have to pay anything?” Marybeth asked, looking like she might get sick.

  Everyone still stared at me. I felt hot and uncomfortable, like a leper. Maybe they thought everyone on this trip was rich and privileged.

  Loserville claimed me again.

  Never kissed, poor and smart. A typical combination that defined a nerd at my age. I wanted to die. My stomach twisted in knots. I would never escape my box.

  “It all makes sense now,” Summer finally said. She had a wicked glint in her eyes.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Kira asked, scowling.

  “Nothing. I’m just saying,” Summer said. She tilted her head and raised her eyebrows.

  Kira was trying to stick up for me and although slightly comforting, it was like putting a small band aid on a gushing stab wound. I also didn’t understand how she could be so mean to me one minute and then turn around and act like I was her best buddy the next.

  “There’s more to you than meets the eye,” Alex added, his stare searching my face.

  My heart stuttered and I felt a bit overwhelmed. I wondered what he meant by that. Was it mean? I had
always interpreted comments like that as nice, but now I didn’t. If only I’d dared ask him. I could feel that my face was on fire, tomato red, without a doubt.

  Alex still stared at me with a crooked smile. My heart stuttered again as I looked away.

  “Christy,” Kira whispered. “Look behind you.”

  Two hot guys played foosball near the door. They looked great—I had to admit.

  Summer looked, too and became more animated and loud the longer she looked at them.

  After a few more minutes, she interrupted the game, and said, “Hey, I’ll be right back. I’ve got to go to the ladies’ room.”

  Wouldn’t you know it. The ladies’ room was just outside the rec room doors, and she would have to pass the poor schmucks playing foosball. They had no idea what was about to hit them.

  We all turned and listened.

  “Hey guys. Having fun?” Summer asked, flipping her thick, shiny blond hair over her shoulder.

  “Yeah, sure,” said the taller of the two. Their voices lowered and we could no longer hear their responses.

  I couldn’t tell how old they were. I thought college age, even though their faces looked very young. Maybe it was the way they held themselves—really confident— that made me think they weren’t in high school.

  “Let’s get back to the game, guys,” Eugene said.

  “We can’t without Summer,” Josh said, his eyes glued to the new guys and Summer. I imagine his self-esteem was taking a hit.

  She returned to the group with the two guys trailing her, without going to the bathroom, of course.

  “These guys are from New York,” she said. “This is Jeremy and he’s Nathan. Is it okay if they play too?”

  What could we say? After a few moments, “Sure” came from a few mouths and “Whatever” came from a few others. Josh didn’t say a word, he just looked at the floor.

  “Who has the most things left?” Summer asked, not skipping a beat. Her huge, brilliant smile blinding me.

  Everyone looked at me, hello, so I counted my pieces of paper. “Eight,” I said, my face hot with renewed embarrassment.

  “Eight? Man, Christy, you really haven’t ever done anything,” Alex said. “No wonder you wanted to come here.” He chuckled along with Josh and Summer. I even saw a smile break on Kira’s lips.

  Alex. I wanted to cry. There was no doubt what he thought about me now. Stupidly, I looked up at him. He looked back at me. Even though I knew someone like him would never be interested in me, it hurt to have the slight glimmer of hope I’d had, dashed.

  “Get eight things,” Summer told the new guys.

  The game didn’t last much longer. I won, of course, my humiliation underscored.

  The new guys were interesting, even Josh ended up playing nice. They talked sports with him and he jumped on board. It was getting late; Eugene and Marybeth headed up to their rooms. Despite how tired I felt, I knew what awaited me when I closed my eyes: a sword, a bloody head and people chasing me, so I was in no hurry. I sat and listened to the others talk until I didn’t hear anymore.

  When I opened my eyes, I was thrashing side to side trying to get out from someone’s grip when I realized who it was. Jeremy, one of the foosball guys, stood over me, his light brown hair catching the light as he held my arms.

  “Wake-up!”he said.“Wake-up! It isn’t real. It’s a dream.” His voice gradually grew softer the more alert I became. I noticed that Rick, Kira and Alex were standing right behind him. They all looked really concerned. No one laughed.

  “What? What?” I said. “Was I dreaming?”

  “Dreaming? No. You were having a wicked nightmare,” Jeremy said. “Do you remember it?”

  “Not really,” I hedged. “Guess I better go to bed.” I didn’t really want to go, or answer any more questions, and was terrified of closing my eyes again.

  “I’ll go with you,” Kira said.

  “No. No. You stay here. I’ll be all right. Marybeth’s already there, isn’t she? You stay, I’ll be fine.” I really did want her to come with me, but I didn’t want to look wimpy. But, what if someone was waiting for me to be alone to snatch me away?

  “Okay,” she said.

  I wished she’d insisted, but fresh, hot college meat had joined the group, and she really wanted to stay and get more of their attention.

  I headed for the door, passing Summer and Josh playing foosball, only to find Jeremy on my heels.

  “Hey, wait up,” he said. “I’m not letting you go alone after a nightmare like that. You must be scared to death.”

  There was something about the way he talked to me that made me feel like he was a lot older than we were. It made me wary, but at the same time, I sensed he wanted to help me. He was very good looking and seemed nice, so I looked past him to the others, who were deep in conversation again, and slipped through the door he held open for me.

  “Hey, do you mind if I grab a Coke?” Jeremy pointed at the door that led to the vending machines.

  “No,” I said. “Go ahead.”

  I waited in the hall until he came out, waving a dollar bill. “I hate these machines, they never take my money. You don’t happen to have a buck on you to trade for this one?”

  I almost never had money on me. “No, Sorry. Here, let me try.”

  He handed me his beat up dollar, and I stepped into the vending room. No matter what I tried, it wouldn’t take his dollar. I turned around, only to find the door was shut and Jeremy was blocking it.

  “No luck,” I said. “Sorry.” I tried not to think about the shut door and small space we were in.

  “Just a sec,” he said. He reached into his pocket. Maybe he had another dollar bill. Not even close. He pulled out a black Ipod looking thing and with the push of a button, the room filled with music.

  I backed up as far as I could into the soda machines. I was getting creeped out. Music? He leaned in toward me, and I jerked away, slamming the back of my head hard into one of the soda machines. Did he want to make-out in here? There was no way my virgin lips were landing on his. He grabbed my arms quickly, and whispered into my ear. I don’t know what he said, because I started to scream. His hand flew up to cover my mouth. His other arm surrounded me, trapping me against the machine, and he whispered, “Don’t scream. I’m FBI. I’m here to protect you, not hurt you.”

  FBI?

  I stopped trying to scream. It was useless anyway. His hand held so tight against my mouth that only a muffled, “MMMM”, escaped and parts of my lips pinched against my teeth. I opened my eyes to look at the side of his head.

  He whispered, “It’s okay. Just relax.”

  After what I’d seen in the ballroom, it was hard to relax, but I was trying to. My lips hurt so badly, I squirmed to get his hand away from my mouth. It made him press harder, which increased the pain. I finally gave up, and the pressure of his hand started to lessen. I wanted to move my mouth and check for damage, but his body and other hand held my arms down tight. It did feel good to be able to slide my lips over my teeth and close my mouth.

  “Good, Christy, good. Take a deep breath.”

  I did breathe, but it wasn’t deep. He still leaned into me and it was hard to even breathe quick, shallow breaths, let alone deep ones.

  “I can’t.” I pushed out.

  I guess he realized he was still squishing me, and he backed up a bit.

  I breathed in deeply a few times, my pulse still in stampede mode. I desperately needed some water. The blaring music made me feel even more odd.

  “Sorry about that. I meant for this to go differently. I didn’t mean to freak you out,” he whispered, still right in my ear. “We can’t have anyone hear us. Do you understand that?”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Are you all right?”

  “Yes,” I answered, gasping.

  “Good. Now listen. Ever since you gave us the letter, we’ve been following you. Other agents have been gathering information about you kids and the things you wrot
e. You did actually see what you wrote, didn’t you? You were telling the truth?”

  The letter. He knew about the letter. He must really be FBI. I felt myself relax a bit more and said, “Yes.”

  “It was really smart, the way you got the letter to us. You were very brave, and Christy, we need you to be brave. We need to get you to our office, so we can get your statement.”

  “Statement? I already wrote everything down. What else can I tell you?” I lost my calm again. I didn’t want to rehash the murder again.

  “There are a few things we’re unclear about. Sometimes talking it through brings out new things. We need all the information we can get to catch these guys—I’m sure you can understand that.”

  I started to think about the FBI following us and Jeremy talking to me. What if they had been seen by the bad guys? What if they were good, but were giving us away to the bad guys on accident?

  “No. You said you were here to protect us!” My whisper got louder by the second. “You’re going to give us away, they’ll see you. They’re not stupid, and they probably already know that you’re following us. That means they know we told!” Anger was taking over any fear I had. “You can’t protect us. Not from them. They’re following us. I saw a man with—”

  “Shh! Calm down. You have to keep your voice low. There are bugs all over this hotel.”

  My ear got hot and started to feel a bit wet from him whispering into it. I wanted him to go away. I wanted it to all go away. I certainly did not want to answer a bunch of questions at the “office”.

  “Why don’t you just pick up the people following us?”

  “They haven’t done anything yet.”

  “They killed somebody!”

  “We need proof.”

  “They’re following us and freaking us out.” I persisted.

  “Don’t let them. Act normal. They’re probably just trying to find out what you know. Look. I’ll answer all your questions tomorrow. We’ve been in here too long. Just understand that we’ll be pulling you into the office tomorrow. Don’t be scared, you are protected everywhere you go. And Christy, do not tell the others about us or this meeting. You all have to continue to act normal. And you can’t discuss the murder anymore.”

  “Are there really bugs all over the hotel?”

  “Yes. Be careful what you say. But also know that we have them under surveillance, too.”

  “What if they spot you? We’ll be dead, won’t we?” It was hard to keep my cool.

  “You won’t be dead, and they won’t spot us. We’re trained to be invisible. You’re safe, despite what you might be feeling right now,” he said. “I wanted to make contact with you tonight, so that tomorrow would be easier for you. It might have been the wrong choice, but can you help us catch these guys?”

  I wanted to shout out, “No!” but, didn’t. Those bad men needed to be put away, so I squeaked out a weak, “I think so.”

  “Look. From what we’ve heard, they don’t know anyone actually saw the murder yet. Really, you’re safe. Just follow my lead when we get to your room, okay? You can do this Christy, just be yourself.”

  The walk to my room was too short. When I opened the door, he said, “Have better dreams. Thanks for trying to get my dollar in that stupid Coke machine. I guess the stars didn’t want me to have a Coke tonight.” He laughed a quick laugh, his brown eyes expectant.

  I stared at him for a few seconds, and he nodded at me, turning his head slightly to the left and opening his eyes wide. I guessed that was my cue to reply.

  “Oh, yeah. No problem. I’m just sorry I wasn’t any help. I can’t wait to crawl into bed. Thanks for walking me to my room, it was really nice of you.”

  “See ya.”

  “Bye,” I said. “Thanks again.”

  My bed wasn’t as inviting as I’d wished. I still needed to talk to Rick about Iceman and I tossed and turned, afraid to sleep. Terrorists, guns, the FBI, swords, running, and screaming all dominated my thoughts. It was hard to be watched every minute of every day.

  “Just be yourself,” he had said. What exactly did that mean? I didn’t even have a clear picture of who I was, how could I be the person he wanted me to be?

  I was both anxious and scared for morning to come.

  CHAPTER SEVEN